I’m Not Paying For A Wall

I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’m not paying for a wall. I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL! I’M NOT PAYING FOR A WALL!!!

Do these GOP assholes understand what I’m saying right now? The American people have no fucking business paying for Donald Trump‘s imaginary wall along the Mexican border. Look, everything about this wall is ridiculous, son. First, it’s inherently racist. Republicans have painted Mexicans as nothing but a group of rapists and criminals who are here to take everyone’s jobs. Despite the fact that there is no evidence to support this widespread belief, this type of rhetoric has been used to dupe gullible Americans. Now, Congress is trying to make the citizens foot the bill for Trump’s passion project.

Now, every facet of this wall has been problematic from the beginning. During his presidential campaign, Trump constantly said that Mexico would pay for the wall’s construction. With that being said, the Mexican government has made it abundantly clear that no such thing will happen. So, if Mexico basically told us to go fuck ourselves, then who will be responsible for ponying up the money? All I know is, it damn sure won’t be me, son.

Keeping it a buck, my resolve is now even stronger after watching a press conference with Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan. These fools really said this wall is going to cost between $12 billion and $15 billion. Bruh, what? What?! How many billions of dollars?! Man, get these Ronald McDonald-ass clowns the fuck outta here, son! On the real, unless we go to war with Mexico, there’s no way we can make them pay for this tomfoolery. All in all, not one red cent of my tax money better help fund this bullshit, man!

Ultimately, I want the GOP to take their Secure Fence Act and shove it up their asses, bruh. If they want to be bigots against an entire group of people, then tell them to use their own bread, son. I mean, they have more money than all of us anyway. *Sigh* I’m going to go find some bourbon, man. LC out.

Donald Trump’s Guide To Getting Women

Now, let’s be real for a second, son. Of COURSE I’m talking about Donald Trump today. I mean, did anybody really think I was going to let his latest batch of tomfoolery slide? On the real, how can anyone who breathes air endorse this guy? How can anyone who breathes air BE this guy?! Every time I think it’s impossible to top the copious amounts of insanity he’s said, some new shit comes out. With that being said, let’s talk about Trump’s most recent philosophies about women.

Look, to start, I’m not going to spend too much time on last night’s debate. It was exactly what I thought it would be: a pure shitshow. Instead of being on the defensive, Trump came out swinging, launching a bunch of accusations at not only Hillary Clinton, but Bill Clinton as well. Even before the debate, Trump held a press conference with four women who claimed to either be sexually assaulted by the former president or wronged by Hillary. In any case, the debate devolved into one of the ugliest spectacles I’ve ever seen, which is exactly what Trump and company wanted.

So, why was Trump so desperate to create a distraction? Because of a video that surfaced over the weekend of an outrageous conversation he had with Billy Bush in 2005. While on the set of “Access Hollywood,” Trump was recorded speaking about how he approaches attractive women. Apparently, in his world, it’s perfectly ok to “just start kissing” women and “[grabbing] them by the pussy.” To him, these are appropriate actions because celebrities can essentially do whatever they want. Now, I don’t have to speculate about his mentality because he literally said “when you’re a star… you can do anything.” That’s actually a statement that came out of his mouth, son. Honestly, “flabbergasted” isn’t even a strong enough word to describe my reaction, man.

Now, as expected, all of the people who heard these remarks were as taken aback as I was. The outrage even extended to Trump’s own party. So far, he’s been condemned by Paul Ryan, Reince Priebus, Mitt Romney, John McCain, Jeb Bush and myriad of GOP faithful who were appalled by Trump’s words. In addition, a number of Republicans have even demanded that Trump drop out of the presidential race. However; we all know Trump would never do that. Quitting has never been the man’s style.

Moving on, according to him and his campaign, his comments were nothing more than “locker room talk.” Apparently, this is the way men talk behind closed doors. Come the fuck on, son! Last time I checked, I’ve been a man my entire life and I’ve NEVER participated in a conversation like this! When it comes to the men I know, we talk about what we would do if we had the opportunity to get down with a chick. But we NEVER endorse sexual assault, man! Nowhere in Trump’s statements did he speak about consent. In actuality, he said he does things because he knows he can get away with them. Bruh, that’s textbook rape. At this point, anyone who disagrees is advocating violence against women. Plain and simple. On the real, the same men who consider this “locker room talk” are probably the same men who sympathize with Brock Turner, Austin Wilkerson and David Becker.

In the end, the scariest part of this is, after last night’s debate, Trump’s constituents will probably still continue to support him. Based on some early reviews of his performance, he’s been getting positive feedback for seemingly pushing Hillary against the ropes. All of this proves that morals are an obsolete idea. Party unity is more important to everyone than having an actual belief system. With that being said, voting is still vital. I know I’ve said that a number of times on this site, but I can’t stress this enough, man. This November‘s election is of the utmost importance. Everyone needs to use their voice. Good day.

P.S. Does anyone else find it sexist that Bill’s alleged misconduct is always brought up to smite Hillary? SHE’S the one running for president right now, not Bill! If the jabs have nothing to do with her directly, keep them out of this race. She shouldn’t have to suffer for what her husband may or may not have done. That is all.

Go Home, Congress, You’re Drunk

Did anyone know President Obama was responsible for the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster? Did anyone know he was responsible for the Watergate scandal? Wait, did anyone know Obama was chiefly responsible for the Great Depression in the 1930s? Well, if we all listened to the idiots in Congress, they’d probably try to convince us of all of those things. Look, just ONE day after overriding Obama’s veto of the controversial 9/11 law, Congress has suddenly had a change of heart. Now, instead of just admitting to their foolish errors, they still found a way to blame Obama for their own ineptitude. It’s so baffling to watch, son.

To start off, the 9/11 bill is a law that allows families to sue Saudi Arabia for their involvement in the World Trade Center attacks. Now, in theory, this sounds fantastic. However; there are certain complications that could potentially arise from a move like this. Namely, this could put the United States and our soldiers at risk for the same type of lawsuits. In case anyone forgot, America has a LONG history of fucking shit up in other people’s countries. So, if we start suing other nations for attacks, we could potentially be on the hook for the same tactic. Both Obama AND CIA Director John Brennan expressed these concerns.

With all of that being said, Congress heard these objections, said “fuck that” and hit Obama’s veto with the override. The Senate, for example, was so sure of itself, the vote was 97 to 1. 97 to fucking 1, man. That’s like the worst college football score ever, son. No type of “mercy rule,” bro. From there, the House followed in the tomfoolery and also passed the bill. Now, all of a sudden, Congress wants to change parts of the bill to protect our troops and blames Obama for not explaining the possible consequences. Are these people fucking kidding me, man? I swear, Republicans have made it their life’s mission to just disregard anything Obama says or does. Now, they got caught with their asses in the air and they still tried to pin it on him.

Regardless of what anyone else tries to say, it’s not his fault the Republican-led Congress didn’t think this one through. Shit, Mitch McConnell literally said “nobody focused on the potential downside in terms of our international relationships.” How on Earth is that an Obama issue? Look, if my mother told me not to touch the stove, I can’t then blame her for a burnt hand if I did it anyway. Honestly, if I tried that, I’d probably get backhanded in the mouth, man. Get these clowns the fuck out of here, son.

In the end, Congress must’ve really taken a lot of cues from Brexit. Apparently, it’s good form to overwhelmingly vote on something without doing proper research. Look, I’m no Obama apologist, but Congress blaming him for failing to do their job is ridiculous. Maybe, if they didn’t have such a hard-on for fighting him at every turn, then they would’ve made the right decision. Then again, maybe not, son. We have an ABUNDANT amount of idiots in our government. Good day.