Get DJ Envy The F*ck Outta Here!

Son, somebody tell DJ Envy to relax! I mean, I’m married with kids and even I thought he GROSSLY overreacted to Desus Nice and The Kid Mero. Look, for a dude who works on a show that CONSISTENTLY cracks on other people, it’s absolutely ridiculous that he can’t take a joke, man. All in all, I think there are two ways to look at this situation. In either case, Envy looks like a fucking clown, fam.

Ok, before I get to my analysis, let’s talk about how all of this fuckery began, bruh. Now, recently, Envy and his wife, Gia Casey, sat down with the hosts of The Real. During their segment, they talked about Envy’s infidelity and other issues that put a strain on their marriage. In any case, Envy admitted that his DJ persona was causing serious problems in his family life. By and by, that’s how he got embroiled in such tomfoolery as smashing Erica Mena.

Moving on, enter Desus and Mero. Now, during a segment on their Viceland show, Desus and Mero were cracking jokes, as they ALWAYS do. Anyway, Desus let a comment fly that it was probably easier for Gia to put up with Envy’s nonsense because of the money. Apparently, that was a step too far for Envy. With that being said, shit hit the proverbial fan when Desus and Mero went up to The Breakfast Club. So, off the rip, Envy introduced them as “Dickhead and Pussy.” Next, he demanded that they apologize to both him and his wife. In his eyes, they crossed the line by insinuating that Gia was only with him for the cash. Hell, he even went on an entire spiel about how they’ve been together since they were 15 and blah, blah, blah.

Now, after all of that, Desus and Mero actually apologized. However; that wasn’t enough for Envy. From there, he legit got up and walked out of the interview. All I know is, that was some super unprofessional shit, son. Listen, I truly believe Envy went above and beyond here. Good fucking Lord, it was a joke, man! Lighten the fuck up! This dude does a show with Charlamagne Tha God everyday and he has thin skin? Shit, it makes absolutely no sense, fam! Desus and Mero make fun of EVERYONE! That’s their job, bruh! If it was really a problem, they travel in the same circles. Envy could’ve handled this shit off-air, folks.

Look, even if people thought Envy was in the right for checking them, here’s another way to look at this: they apologized! Listen, Envy asked for an apology and he got it! So, what’s the fucking problem now? It’s fucking childish to demand an apology and then refuse to accept it. So, he overreacted to a minor joke AND refused to acknowledge that they were sorry. Nah, son, no one can explain that type of behavior to me. On the real, I personally can’t judge a man for cheating. But, let me say, that act is waaaaaay worse than anything Desus and Mero said, man.

In the end, someone tell DJ Envy to man the fuck up, fam. Ultimately, he needs to either grow tougher skin or act like an adult. By and by, he could’ve either let the joke roll or come to a sensible resolution. At the end of the day, he did neither of those things, bruh. So, I don’t feel sorry for the way the internet is killing him, people. When it’s all said and done, that’s what happens when bitchassness goes viral. LC out.


Teachers Don’t Need Guns

So, let’s cut the bullshit, son. Listen, teachers don’t need guns, man! Hell, their jobs are stressful enough as it is, fam! Are we really going to add “armed bodyguard” to their résumé, bruh? Look, outside of all of the Second Amendment talk, there are a variety of reasons why teachers shouldn’t be armed. With that being said, let’s go through some of them.

Ok, let’s start with Dennis Alexander, son. Now, for those who are unaware, Alexander is a teacher at Seaside High School in Monterey County, California. Anyway, in addition to being an instructor, Alexander is also a reserve police officer. So, on face value, he is the type of “gun-trained teacher” that Donald Trump wants. Moving on, let’s talk about what Alexander did the other day. Apparently, while giving a safety class, he pointed a loaded gun at the ceiling and accidentally fired it. From there, some debris hit a male student and he sustained some minor injuries.

Now, I’m totally happy that the kid wasn’t actually shot or harmed any further. However; this is the type of shit students don’t need in school, man! Listen, as a father, I’m sending my kids to school to learn. Shit, it’s bad enough that kids are going around shooting their own classmates. I don’t want to have to worry about a teacher hurting my child too, fam. Good fucking Lord, this is ridiculous, bruh! This isn’t what school is about, folks! On the real, if institutions are so dangerous that everyone needs to be strapped, then I might as well homeschool my kids, people.

Moving on, let’s address the naysayers who might conclude that Alexander’s blunder is just an isolated incident. Now, if no one out there is moved by my argument, let’s talk about the general plight of teachers. Look, in general, teachers are overworked and underpaid. Hell, instructors in West Virginia had to go on a full strike in order to get a 5 percent pay raise, son. So, we can’t pay them but we expect them to defend the school? On top of that, how long do we think it’ll take before someone points a gun at a student they have an issue with? Listen, I’ve seen A TON of videos of teachers assaulting kids, especially Black ones. Do we really think a gunshot is that far out of the realm of possibility?

In the end, can we stop the tomfoolery, man? Ultimately, we should worry about paying teachers their fair share instead of arming them. By and by, I truly don’t see any positives to this idea, fam. *Sigh* This country loves guns so much that they don’t care who gets hurt. At the end of the day, I do believe we have a right to arm ourselves. However; that right should also come with some basic common sense, bruh. When it’s all said and done, that’s the only thing that reasonable people are really asking for, folks. That is all. LC out.

RIP Craig Mack

Damn, son. *Sigh* Here we are again, man. Another day, another rapper from my childhood facing an untimely demise. Look, all I know is, Craig Mack never got the credit he deserved, fam. I mean, if we’re being real, he jumpstarted Diddy‘s career, bruh. Ok, yes, I’m well aware of Puff’s tenure at Uptown Records and his work with Jodeci/Mary J. Blige. However; Puff laid the foundation for Bad Boy Records on Mack’s back. Frankly, if it wasn’t for Mack, there might not have been a Bad Boy empire.

Ok, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way, son. Listen, 46 years old is WAY too young to die from heart failure, man! Now, I have no idea what Mack’s health was like in his final days. But, as a 32-year-old dude, the thought of dying in 10 or so years is frightening, fam! Real talk, that’s one of the main reasons why I started getting back in shape, bruh. Yeah, looking good is nice and all, but I’m more so petrified of dying in poor health. So, stories like Mack scare the fuck out of me, folks! All in all, we need to make sure we’re taking the best care of ourselves.

Moving on, let’s talk about Mack’s legacy. Now, for those who are unaware, Mack legitimately started the Bad Boy run. I mean, not only was/is “Flava In Ya Ear” a classic song, but it was also Bad Boy’s first release. That’s right, people, The Notorious B.I.G. didn’t put out the label’s first music. Ok, yes, Ready To Die ending up coming out a week before Mack’s Project: Funk da World. But, Bad Boy’s momentum began with Mack. Real talk, if “Flava In Ya Ear” never took off, we might not have ever gotten the rest of the label’s discography. With that being said, everyone needs to put some respect on Mack’s name, son.

In the end, I don’t want Mack’s influence to go unrecognized. Ultimately, he’s important to Hip Hop‘s history, whether people know it or not. By and by, Rest In Peace to Craig Mack! At the end of the day, he died too young, man. That is all. LC out.

P.S. For anyone who’s in the dark about Mack’s music, go check out Project: Funk da World. Shit, “Flava In Ya Ear” is a given, but “Get Down” is also supremely fire, fam. Good day.

O.J. Simpson Is A Crazy Person

Listen, man. In 2000 and 18, if anyone actually believes that O.J. Simpson is innocent of murder, then they’re just as delusional as he is. I mean, what kind of psychopath does a “hypothetical” interview about a double homicide? Shit, writing an If I Did It book was bad enough, son! But, telling an entire story on camera is some next-level crazy shit, fam! All in all, Simpson might be the most looney tunes dude I’ve ever seen, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, a previously-shelved interview with Simpson just hit the streets. Now, back in 2006, when he was preparing for the release of his If I Did It book, Simpson sat down with publisher Judith Regan. In any case, after the Goldman family got control of the book, the Simpson interview was locked away. Well, that was until now. Anyway, this entire situation was insane because this guy basically gave statements that sounded like a confession. By and by, this has to be the DUMBEST thing an accused murderer could ever do, son.

Now, let me explain why this whole scenario was ridiculous. Look, during his sit-down with Regan, Simpson gave “details” about what led to the killings of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. To begin, he frequently referenced a dude named Charlie. So, according to Simpson’s story, Charlie is the one who told him about what Nicole was allegedly doing with Goldman. From there, they apparently got in the infamous White Ford Bronco and went over to Nicole’s house. Moving on, Simpson alleges that Charlie took the knife from him, shenanigans ensued and then they had to get rid of all of the bloody clothes.

Listen, I’m going to stop right there, man. Real talk, I’m sure we all know about how Nicole and Goldman died, fam. However; all I know is, NO ONE can explain this interview to me, bruh! Look, Simpson’s lawyer is saying that O.J. only did it for the money. Son, ain’t NO money in the world worth this type of attention! Especially if they’re trying to sell the narrative that Simpson didn’t do it. On the real, there’s NO WAY an innocent man would do this type of shit! So, miss me with the “O.J. isn’t guilty” shit, bruh!

In the end, I don’t even know what else to say, son. Ultimately, O.J. Simpson is fucking CRAZY, man! By and by, I have NO idea how this guy is walking the streets, fam! At the end of the day, I wonder if his original jury is still happy with their decision. Ok, yes, racial tensions in Los Angeles were at a high-level at that particular time. But, Simpson shouldn’t have been the beacon for the movement, bruh. *Sigh* That man didn’t/doesn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy or charity. That is all. LC out.

The Bruno Mars Hate Doesn’t Make Sense

So, let me get straight to the point, son. The hate that Bruno Mars is receiving right now is pure nonsense, man. In my eyes, calling Mars a “cultural appropriator” is inaccurate, fam. From my vantage point, there’s a difference between inspiration and theft. Now, are a lot of Mars’ musical sources identifiable? Absolutely. However; the style of damn near EVERY artist can be traced to some predecessor. With that being said, what’s the real fucking beef with Mars, bruh?

Ok, for those who missed it, let me explain how all of this began. Now, in a video for The Grapevine, writer Seren Sensei went on a tangent about her disdain for Mars. According to her, Mars borrows too much from Black artists and shouldn’t be allowed to get a pass since he isn’t Black. In addition, she believes that he “plays up” his racial ambiguity in order to pull the wool over our eyes. All in all, she went full Super Saiyan on him and I think it’s a bit misguided, son.

Now, to me, a cultural appropriator is someone who doesn’t recognize or admit where they got their style from. By that definition, Mars doesn’t fit the mold, man. Honestly, all that guy does is give credit to the artists who came before him. Real talk, just take a look at his “Album of the Year” speech for 24K Magic at the Grammys. Fam, he literally thanked Babyface, Teddy Riley and Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis for inspiring him! On top of that, during an interview with Latina, he went into great detail about how all American music has its roots in Black music. So, if he’s actually giving credit to his sources, what’s the fucking problem, bruh?! I mean, are Black people the only ones who are allowed to embrace the Funk?

Look, if anybody doesn’t like Mars’ songs, then just say that, son. On the real, people are 100% entitled to their personal tastes. However; criticizing him for being a cultural appropriator or a vulture is just foolish, man. Real talk, all that dude does is give credit to Black musicians and Black artistry. Shit, just look at his band, fam! It’s literally nothing but Black and Brown players! What the hell else do people want, bruh?! In my eyes, this entire debate is fucking stupid, folks. At the end of the day, baseless accusations and name-calling won’t stop me from enjoying his discography.

In the end, let’s just chill out with the tomfoolery, son. Ultimately, we all have a choice, man: we can either enjoy Mars’ music or not. However; no one should be judged for digging his songs. By and by, the man is inspired by Black music and makes no secret of it. So, if he’s actually tipping his hat to his musical forefathers, then no one out there has a credible beef, fam. That is all. LC out.

Why Do People Support 6ix9ine?

So, before I begin, let me make one thing clear: this post has nothing to do with music, son. To be honest, I haven’t listened to enough of 6ix9ine‘s songs to give an honest opinion. In any case, I’m still deeply troubled by the fact that he gets as much support as he does. In my eyes, any person who pled guilty to sexual assault should be ostracized, man. I mean, is there no fucking limit? All in all, how can anybody even remotely justify being a 6ix9ine fan?

Ok, let me explain what my beef is, fam. Now, like I said previously, I’m not really familiar with 6ix9ine’s music. So, I have no judgment, positive or negative, about his songs. In addition, I don’t care about his alleged affiliation with the Bloods gang. Shit, countless rappers have boasted about gang ties, whether they were real or not. Anyway, my issues arose when I heard about what he pled guilty to in 2015. Apparently, early that year, 6ix9ine was caught on video smacking a naked 13-year-old girl’s ass while she gave head to his friend. Keep in mind, 6ix9ine was 18 at the time. Bruh, how is anyone okay with this?! Real talk, this isn’t just some allegation, son! He pled guilty to that shit, man!

Look, based on that information, I can’t help but call out other rappers. I’m wholeheartedly judging Tory Lanez, Young Thug, Fetty Wap, A Boogie and Offset. Listen, ALL of those rappers, who I actually like, worked with 6ix9ine on his Day69 mixtape. On the real, I hope they didn’t know about his past when they worked with him. Keeping it a buck, if they did, then that means they’re condoning and co-signing the career of a sexual abuser. In my eyes, there’s no way to explain that, fam. *Sigh* I guess Trippie Redd is the only one with some sense. As of right now, he’s the only one to distance himself from 6ix9ine.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say here, bruh. Ultimately, I think all of this shit is cut and dry, son. The way I see it, 6ix9ine shouldn’t be championed. By and by, we have to have some semblance of standards, man. At the end of the day, people need to be held accountable for their actions. All I know is, sexual abusers shouldn’t be allowed to flourish, fam. That is all. LC out.

What I Learned From Deontay Wilder & Luis Ortiz

So, the fight between Deontay Wilder and Luis Ortiz finally happened, huh? After all of the delays, suspected suspensions and general tomfoolery, these two dudes finally got inside the ring. All I can say is, the preceding nonsense was worth it, son! I mean, I was highly, HIGHLY entertained by this match, man! In any case, despite Wilder’s knockout win, both men had their moments. All in all, there was A LOT to take away from this fight, fam.

To begin, let’s talk about Wilder, bruh. Keeping it a buck, that dude is a warrior, son. Look, there were several times during that fight where Ortiz was fucking him up, man. By my score, Wilder lost the first four rounds, fam. Ok, yes, he did score a knockdown against Ortiz in the fifth round. However; other than that, Wilder was getting thoroughly outclassed. Not to mention, Ortiz was whooping the living shit out of him in that seventh round. Real talk, if Wilder was some regular ass fighter, the bout would have been stopped. Shit, Wilder must’ve gotten hit with like 30 unanswered punches, bruh. Look, if Wilder tries some shit like that against Anthony Joshua, he’s getting finished, for sure.

Now, in regards to Ortiz, I think this fight showed that he’s the better technical fighter. Initially, it took him a couple of rounds to figure out how to get around Wilder’s reach. After that, he was pretty much hitting Wilder at will. In addition, his seventh round dominance was so clear, the judges scored it 10-8 despite the fact there was no knockdown. Frankly, I feel like Ortiz got bamboozled in that round. Hell, if this was any other fight, the referee would’ve stopped the contest, son. By and by, Ortiz ended up losing because he got tired and subsequently got caught by Wilder’s right hand.

Moving on, let’s talk about these judges, man. Now, at the time of the stoppage, all three judges had Wilder winning 85-84. Dude, what fucking fight were they watching, fam?! Listen, there’s a legit argument that outside of that fifth round knockdown and tenth round knockout, Wilder lost every round. On the real, there’s NO WAY he was winning that fight, bruh! Look, Wilder NEEDED that knockout to win, son! Ortiz was picking him apart with his accuracy. *Sigh* This is the type of shit that makes people hate boxing, folks. Seriously, these judges didn’t even try to hide their biases, people. All I know is, it’s disgusting, brethren.

In the end, the ball is now in Anthony Joshua’s court. Ultimately, if he gets past Joseph Parker, he can no longer avoid Wilder, son. At this point, there’s no one else for Joshua to fight, man. At the end of the day, these promoters can miss me with that Jarrell Miller talk, fam. Joshua doesn’t need to fight Miller, bruh. He needs to rumble with the heavyweight champion he’s been ducking: Wilder. In my eyes, that showdown better go down before the end of 2018. LC has spoken! Good day.