Umm, I Love Jill Scott

Disclaimer: My wife knows I love Jill Scott. Like, I looooove Jill Scott. So, don’t judge me, son. I’m going to be out here wilin’ today.

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, man. Real talk, if anyone has ever listened to Jill Scott’s music, they’d already know she’s a freak freak, fam. With that being said, the video circulating around social media shouldn’t be a surprise, bruh. Regardless, the creep in me gives her two thumbs up, folks. I mean, come on, people! This is Grade A entertainment, brethren! All jokes aside, I didn’t need another reason to crush on Jill Scott. However, she definitely gave me one.

Now, for those who missed it, Scott is out here letting her freak flag fly. Apparently, at a (recent?) show, Scott gave the crowd a preview of her fellatio game. Like, she went through ALL of the steps on her microphone, son. She started with no hands, THEN she hit the two-hand pepper mill, THEN she gave some love to the balls and THEN she let the mic finish on her face. Side note, if anyone thinks I’m being crude, just watch the video, man. I didn’t make up any of this, fam. In any case, her simulation has opposing opinions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Look, let’s be honest here, bruh. On the real, if anybody is taken aback by Scott’s actions, then they must’ve never heard a word she’s sang, son. Hell, before I continue, I want everyone to read some of her lyrics below:

Love slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin and landed in his lap…

Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck, blended with my all day Chanel scent…

Flip side, stomach meets sheets, he plows inside as if he’s making beats…

Listen, the moral of the story is, Scott’s BEEN with the shits, man. Frankly, that’s one of the main reasons why I’ve had a crush on her for so long, fam. Shit, her musical talents are a given, bruh. Plainly put, she has one of the best singing voices ever. However, she’s also freaky as a muhfucka, dawg. For God‘s sake, who doesn’t love that, man?!

In the end, long live Jill Scott! Ultimately, this video proves that she wasn’t bullshitting in them lyrics, son. By and by, Scott is exactly who she said she was, fam. At the end of the day, I’m here for all of it, bruh. Now, let me go holla at my wife and apologize for my public thirst. Good day. LC out.

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I Almost Disowned My Mother Over Stan Lee

So, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Real talk, if anyone doesn’t understand how legendary Stan Lee was/is, then I really don’t want to know that person. Taking it a step further, if I have a friend/family member who doesn’t comprehend Lee’s GOAT‘ness, then I’m not sure that I can continue our relationship. I mean, Lee was The Gawd, man! Seriously, where the fuck would Marvel Comics or the overall zeitgeist be if Lee never existed, fam? Shit, I don’t even want to imagine such a world. All in all, Rest In Peace to one of the greatest dudes ever!

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let me explain the title of this post, bruh. So, once upon a time in elementary school, I was a HUGE comic book fan. Side note, I dare someone to test my knowledge on anything before like 2005. Honestly, I’ve got this, son. In any case, around like the third grade, I came across a special comic book: an original edition of Amazing Spider-Man #300. Now, for anyone who is unaware, this issue contains the first full-length appearance of Venom. Moving on, the comic first came out in 1988, but somehow in the early 1990s, I found an original copy. Needless to say, I was fucking HYPED, man!

Anyway, even though Lee didn’t write that particular issue, it’s no secret that Peter Parker was his brainchild. Hell, Parker along with every other Marvel character who has ever mattered, fam. All I can say is, getting ahold of Venom’s first foray meant EVERYTHING to me, bruh! On the real, I read that comic once and put it back in the plastic, son. Listen, I didn’t want to risk creasing it, man.

Now, fast forward to my freshman year of boarding school. I came home for my first vacation and noticed my room looked a little different. Most notably, my bookcase seemed to be missing all of my comic books. To add insult to injury, I definitely noticed that Spider-Man #300 was missing. From there, I asked my mom where my comics were and she uttered four words that changed our relationship: “I threw them out.” I immediately asked her why she would do such a thing and she said “you’re a teenager now, I figured you wouldn’t want them anymore.” All I know is, that might’ve been the only time I legitimately wanted to hit my own mother with the Stone Cold Stunner.

Look, I told that story to highlight one main point: Stan Lee invented a universe that I NEEDED to be a part of. Like, he created characters with nuance, fam. He created characters with ethos. For God‘s sake, he based Professor X and Magneto on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X! What else do people need to know, bruh?! Yeah, these heroes had unreal abilities, but a lot of them had VERY real problems, son. Keeping it a buck, what awkward teenager couldn’t relate to Peter Parker? Being a superhero didn’t absolve him from the trash-ness of high school, man. The fact is, Lee built a world that all of us could identify with AND get lost in.

In the end, RIP to the greatest! Ultimately, his influence will forever be solidified. By and by, Marvel is stronger than ever and it’s directly because of his influence. At the end of the day, legends never die, fam. Long live Stan Lee! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Man, I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven my mom. Look, I just Google‘d the price of an original copy of that Spider-Man issue and got mad all over again. *Sigh* Her and I need to have another discussion, son. Good day.

Ian David Long: When ‘Thoughts & Prayers’ Don’t Work

So, I’m going to start today’s post a little different, son. Normally, I would give some intro about what I was going to talk about. But, before I say anything, I want people to read what Ian David Long wrote in a Facebook post the other day. So, here we go:

I hope people call me insane .. wouldn’t that just be a big ball of irony? Yeah… I’m insane, but the only thing you people do after these shootings is ‘hopes and prayers’.. or ‘keep you in my thoughts’ … every time… and wonder why these keep happening …

Now, to be clear, these are the words of a Marine veteran who shot and killed 12 people at the Borderline Bar & Grill in Thousand Oaks, California. Look, in one post, a mass murderer destroyed our country’s indifference to gun control AND mental health. Real talk, after every incident, politicians send out “thoughts and prayers,” but never do anything to remedy the situation. Sadly, Ian Long knew this, man.

At this point, no one knows why Long committed these killings, fam. I mean, there’s speculation that he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after his time in Afghanistan. Shit, if that’s the case, should he have been allowed to legally purchase a .45-caliber Glock handgun? Listen, these are the type of scenarios that reasonable people think about when asking for gun reform. Real talk, I’m not one of those folks who think that nobody should have a firearm. I just want to make sure that the ones who do are in their right fucking mind. Clearly, Long was not one of those individuals, bruh.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, I can’t definitively say that I know the reason for all of these mass shootings. Is it gun control? Is it mental health? Is it terrorism? Is it a combination of all of the above? I don’t fucking know, man. All I know is, this “thoughts and prayers” shit isn’t working, fam. With that being said, I’m tired of all of the partisan bullshit. At the end of the day, our elected officials need to get to the bottom of the issue and nip this shit in the bud, bruh. For God‘s sake, how many more people have to die? *Sigh* Rest In Peace to all of the victims, brethren. Once again, a group of innocent people died for no reason. LC out.

Go Listen To ‘The Receding Hairlines Podcast’

So, I’m going to keep this super short today, son. All folks need to know is, my dude Fabo has a podcast, man. That’s right, fam, alongside Sarge and Hutch, they collectively host The Receding Hairlines Podcast. Side note, I’ve been making fun of Fabo’s hairline for damn near 20 years. With that being said, I get a MAJOR kick out of the name of this podcast, bruh. Another side note, as a bald dude, I’m a huge hypocrite for making fun of anyone’s hairline. In any case, the podcast has a lot of sports debate, with a variety of real-life shenanigans thrown in for good measure. All in all, everybody needs to do the right thing and ride the wave. Anyway, the podcast can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or anywhere else people listen to podcasts. Now, what else is there to say, brethren? Go listen to the cotdamn podcast! That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck Is Floyd Mayweather Doing?

So, this dude Floyd Mayweather just can’t seem to stay retired, huh? I mean, every time he says he’s done fighting, he finds some new way to gank folks of their money, son. In any case, since he doesn’t want to fight actual boxers anymore, he’s going for anything that will drum up attention. First, it was his bout against Conor McGregor, who had no professional boxing matches on his record. Now, he’s planning to fight Tenshin Nasukawa, an undefeated kickboxer/MMA fighter from Japan.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather just held a press conference in Tokyo. Now, apparently, on December 31st, he’s fighting Nasukawa at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan. Furthermore, this match will be promoted by the Rizin Fighting Federation. With all of that being said, there are still a lot of details that we don’t know. First, we don’t know what the rule set of the fight will be. I mean, we all know Mayweather is a boxer, so is he really trying to engage in leg kicks and takedowns with Nasukawa? Shit, that could be disastrous for Mayweather, man. Look, as a man who’s been kicked in his legs and choked before, I wouldn’t recommend it to a novice, fam. Side note, both instances happened in a gym, bruh. I don’t need anyone out there thinking that I’m getting helmed up in these streets. I’m just saying.

In the end, we’ll see, son. Ultimately, Mayweather doesn’t move unless the bag is involved. So, I’m assuming that he’s about to get stupidly paid, man. By and by, if it’s a boxing match, then I probably won’t tune in. However, if it’s a kickboxing or MMA bout, then Mayweather might have my attention, fam. At the end of the day, he might be testing the waters of other combat sports. Hell, he needs to before he even thinks about stepping in a cage with Khabib Nurmagomedov or McGregor. Either way, he’d still get mauled, bruh. That is all. LC out.

My 500th Post

So, I won’t lie, son. I don’t really have anything weighing on my mind today, man. Well, that’s not true at all. I mean, I have a million things on my mind, but nothing that I feel the need to write about, fam. Instead, I just want to take this time to thank any and everybody who supports this raggedy ass blog, bruh. Shit, as of today, I’ve reached 500 posts, brethren. Real talk, that’s a lot of fucking writing, folks. All I can say is, I wouldn’t have kept this up if people didn’t hold me down. Hell, every time I’ve wanted to quit, someone would randomly give me a word that I needed to hear. With that being said, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I don’t take any of it for granted. In the end, I’m going to do my best to make sure my shit ain’t trash, people. Love y’all! That is all. LC out.

Long Live Derrick Rose!

So, I’m going to be real, son. I may or may not have had an emotional reaction to Derrick Rose‘s performance last night. I mean, after everything that dude has been through, how could anyone not appreciate his game, man? Shit, after all of the injuries and all of the setbacks, Rose had a career night, fam. All in all, everybody needs to give him a standing ovation for never quitting and never falling victim to his past.

Ok, at this point, sports fans should be familiar with Rose’s story. Hell, he went from the Rookie of the Year and the youngest Most Valuable Player to the oft-injured/former franchise guy. Frankly, after a torn ACL and three meniscus injuries, nobody, including me, gave him much of a chance, bruh. Regardless of that, Rose kept working, son. Despite being traded a bunch of times and looking like a shell of himself, Rose kept the faith, man. With all of that being said, as part of the Minnesota Timberwolves, the stars finally started to align for him, fam.

Now, for anybody who missed it, Rose went OFF last night. While playing against the Utah Jazz, Rose scored a career-high 50 points while shooting 19/31 from the field and 4/7 from three-point range. On top of that, he made a game-saving block to stop the Jazz from tying the contest in the final moments. Like, could Hollywood even write a better story, bruh? Fuck no! Hell, Rose remained humble though all of his issues and just kept it pushing, man. All I know is, he deserves all of the praise he’s getting right now.

In the end, I hope this is the beginning of a new chapter for Rose, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect him to drop 50 every night. But, I hope he can be consistent and reclaim even a fraction of his former glory, bruh. By and by, who doesn’t love a good redemption tale, son? On the real, I know I do, man. At the end of the day, long live Derrick Rose! That is all. LC out.