Who In Hawaii Needs To Get Fired?

Look, this is a wild era right now, son. Like, it really feels like a nuclear catastrophe could arise at any minute, man. With that being said, we ain’t got the time to be worried about idiots who are bad at their job. I mean, a high level of incompetence resulted in the nonsense that occurred in Hawaii. All I know is, the good people down there didn’t deserve the fear that was unjustly instilled in them.

Ok, for those who missed it, some bonehead in the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency made a MASSIVE mistake. Now, on Saturday, an unknown individual sent out a message that said “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Needless to say, Hawaiians lost their collective minds, fam! Shit, all of us would if we received a similar message, bruh! Listen, whether we’re speaking about North Korea or ISIS, there are real threats out there in the world. In any case, now is not the time to be making these kind of mistakes, folks!

Now, the agency has come out and said that the error occurred because someone pushed the wrong button. Apparently, instead of pressing “test alert,” some dumb-dumb pressed “live alert.” So, what, that’s all it took to send an entire state into panic, son? Like, there aren’t more safeguards to prevent this type of tomfoolery? Fam, what kind of idiocy is this? For fuck’s sake, who designed this backwards ass system, man? All in all, everyone down there should be fired for this brand of fuckery, fam!

In the end, I’m just glad everyone in Hawaii is safe, bruh. Yeah, they had an unnecessary scare, but ultimately, the alternative could’ve been REAL bad, son! By and by, a fake message about a ballistic missile is waaaaaay better than a real ballistic missile, fam. Now, instead of mourning the loss of fallen loved ones, we can make sure that inept assholes are no longer in charge of our safety. That is all. LC out.

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Donald Trump’s Sh*thole Of Racism

*Sigh* I don’t even want to do this, son. Like, I really had to battle with myself about writing this post, man. In any case, my conscience wouldn’t let me cook if I stayed silent through Donald Trump‘s latest episode of fuckery. With that being said, let me go Super Saiyan on President Orange for what he said about Haiti and Africa. *Sigh* And here… we… go!

So, let’s get straight to the fuckity-fuck shit, fam. Apparently, during a White House meeting on immigration, Trump decided to THOROUGHLY disrespect Haiti and Africa. As reported by The New York Times, when a deal was presented that included protections for folks from both places, Trump wanted to know why America accepts people from “shithole countries.” Now, to add insult to injury, he wondered why we don’t except more people from places like Norway. Yeah, these are real comments, bruh.

Now, let’s unpack all of the different ways this is egregiously insulting, son. First, there’s the clear racial aspect, man. Look, in Trump’s own words, he’d prefer folks from a predominantly White country as opposed to mostly Black nations. Shit, based on that statement alone, we can clearly see that immigration isn’t really the problem, fam. Nah, people of color are seen as the problem, bruh. Basically, this is yet ANOTHER example of Trump’s CLEAR racism, folks. I mean, his bigotry is so obvious that I almost have to respect the blatancy of it, people.

Next, let’s talk about this unfounded categorization of Haitians and Africans. For one, immigrants from African nations are renowned for having a high percentage of advanced degrees. Hell, if we look at Nigerians alone, nearly 40% have bachelor’s degrees and almost 20% have master’s degrees. Now, for anyone keeping score, that’s the highest percentage of any racial group in this country.

Moving on, let’s talk about Haiti, son. Listen, when it comes to Haiti, their citizens have endured some of the greatest tribulations in human history. Look, despite being the only Black community to free themselves from slavery, their actions came with a cost, man. Real talk, Haiti had to pay France the equivalent of $21 billion to be recognized as a sovereign nation. Now, when we add on the treachery of the Duvalier family and the devastating earthquake in 2010, we’re looking at a country that’s never caught a break, fam. With all of that being said, why is the American President deriding a whole group of people for their own misfortune? Jesus, this man has NO fucking couth at all!

In the end, I’m never surprised by the tomfoolery that comes out of Trump’s mouth. Frankly, I’m just still shocked that proponents always find a way to justify his actions. Hell, while watching Fox News (because I hate myself), I literally watched Ann Coulter say that all Haitians do is fill up our prisons. Ultimately, the consistent and intentional misrepresentation of people of color is tiring, bruh. All in all, fuck America, son! That is all. LC out.

Who At H&M Needs To Catch These Hands?

So, I’m just going to get straight to the point, son. Look, if I have to explain to anyone why a Black child wearing a “monkey” hoodie is wrong, then they should stop reading this. I mean, there are multiple levels to why this is fuckery at the highest level, man. In any case, the real issue is, I don’t know who deserves to catch these hands first: H&M or that kid’s parents.

Ok, before I continue talking about the words on the hoodie, let me talk about the hoodie, fam. Now, in the wake of Trayvon Martin, there was a concerted effort to criminalize Black people who wore hoodies. Hell, just ask Hillary Clinton and Geraldo Rivera, bruh. First, Clinton literally said that “the sight of a young Black man in a hoodie still evokes a twinge of fear.” On top of that, Rivera urged Black and Hispanic parents to deter their children from wearing hoodies. According to his logic, the hoodie got Martin killed by George Zimmerman.

Listen, if a hoodie is that detrimental to a Black person’s image, why would H&M dress a young Black boy in one? With that being said, let’s talk about the words ON the hoodie now. “Coolest Monkey In The Jungle?” Really? REALLY?! THAT’S the slogan that H&M thought was appropriate for their ad?! Good fucking Lord, son, I can’t believe the level of stupidity here! Look, like I said before, I shouldn’t even have to explain why comparing Black people to monkeys is a bad look, man. Shit, just look at the history of Western Civilization, fam!

My thing is, who okayed this shit, bruh? Real talk, advertising and marketing are substantial departments, son. Are we saying that NO ONE saw the issue here before this tomfoolery went up? NO ONE understood the possible ramifications of this? Furthermore, where the fuck were this kid’s parents? They were cool with their son modeling this type of nonsense? On the real, ain’t no amount of money worth my child’s self-esteem and respect, man. Keeping it a buck, if this were my kid, someone at H&M would have to catch this rear naked choke, fam.

In the end, everyone needs to be called out for this shit, bruh. Ultimately, this kid is still young and probably doesn’t understand the meaning behind his exploitation. By and by, I’m glad people like The Weeknd are chucking the deuces to stupid ass H&M. Clearly, they don’t give a flying fuck about how they present people from different cultures. All I know is, someone still needs to get this ass-whooping, son. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Want Celebrities Running For President

So, I won’t lie, son. I can already see some of the angry responses I might get for this post, man. However; I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. Look, Oprah Winfrey don’t need to be the damn President, bruh! In fact, NO celebrity needs to be the President, people! Listen, even though I believe Donald Trump is insane, I also believe he’s shown us that we need experience in the Oval Office. Shit, I can’t even be a computer repairman without some experience. With that being said, why should we shirk credibility for the highest job in the land?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear, son. On the real, I have nothing against Oprah, man. I mean, her influence in media goes without saying. So, there’s no way I can hate on anyone who’s accomplished as much as she has. However; what the fuckity-fuck does Oprah know about government, fam? Look, we’re not talking about the community board, fam. We’re talking about President of the United States! Real talk, when did it become cool for a novice to be the most powerful person in the world? I swear, Trump has truly, TRULY ruined politics, bruh.

Look, let’s be honest for a second, folks. Celebrities are only talking about running because the bar has been lowered. Hell, I’m sure the average celeb believes they’re more sane than Trump, so that means they could hold office. However; President Orange was never qualified in the first place, son. So, he should NEVER be a comparison point for any of these other famous people. With that being said, Oprah isn’t qualified to be President, The Rock isn’t qualified to be President and neither is Kanye West. For the love of God, please leave our elected offices to people who have at least ran a district before! All in all, the madness needs to stop, man!

In the end, can we chill with the shenanigans, fam? Ultimately, car salesmen don’t need to build cars and television personalities don’t need to be President. By and by, Oprah has all of the power in the world and can pull the strings behind the scene. That doesn’t mean she has the first clue about how to run the country. All I know is, she helped Barack Obama and she can help another qualified candidate. Now, if she wants to join local politics and then move up, I can jive with that. However; the White House off the rip? No thanks. LC out.

Who Are These Weirdos Who Like Snow?

Listen, I hate snow, son. Like, I REALLY hate snow, man. I mean, around the age of 10, I realized that snow was nothing more than some powdery shit that gets in the cotdamn way. Needless to say, I don’t understand adults who actually like snow. Real talk, I question if those people have substantial things to do. If so, then I guarantee all of this gratuitous snow is slowing them down, fam. In any case, I really want to know, who are these weird ass people who enjoy this type of weather, bruh?

Ok, I won’t lie, son. I was inspired to write this post after digging my car out of the snow this morning. Now, therein lies my point, man. Look, before taking my youngest son to school and before going to work, I had to spend time shoveling my car out of the abyss. Essentially, snow ain’t nothing more than a nuisance, fam. Shit, even when it comes to the kids, after the snow turns dirty, they can’t play in the shit anymore. So, why would anyone enjoy this tomfoolery, bruh?

In the end, I’m just bitter, son. On the real, I was born and raised in New York City and STILL can’t jive with this snow shit, man. Keeping it a buck, every winter, I wonder why the fuck I’m still here, fam. Hell, growing up, I was used to blizzards and shit, bruh. Now, we’ve got to deal with “bomb cyclones” and “polar vortices.” Ultimately, I don’t know what any of those phrases mean, folks. However; I do know that it means that parking is going to be a damn safari for the next month or two. By and by, I’m over all of it, folks. That is all. LC out.

The UFC Needs To Strip Conor McGregor

Look, let me get straight to the point, son. Listen, enough is enough already, man. I mean, is Conor McGregor a fighter or what, fam? At this point, it doesn’t even seem like McGregor WANTS to defend his UFC title, bruh. Now, if that’s the case, then the organization needs to strip him, folks. Ok, yes, I’m well aware of the fact that he’s the biggest draw in the sport. However; he can’t continue to disregard his championship obligations and still be considered a champion. In my eyes, if McGregor doesn’t fight again before the summer, then the UFC needs to take his Lightweight belt.

Ok, let’s keep it a buck for a second, son. Now, I know that McGregor is the UFC’s biggest attraction. I mean, he’s a knockout artist who has a 9-1 record under their banner and a 21-3 record overall. In addition, he even won the Featherweight title before becoming the Lightweight champion. Because of this, he became the first fighter to ever simultaneously serve as champion in two divisions. With all of that being said, he’s easily one of the sport’s most decorated combatants. My problem is, he’s literally NEVER defended any of his belts!

Listen, after he beat the legendary José Aldo for the Featherweight title, he immediately moved up to Welterweight to fight Nate Diaz. Now, after their two-war bonanza, McGregor fought and beat Eddie Alvarez for the Lightweight title. Keep in mind, this happened back in November of 2016. Fast forward to January of 2018 and McGregor still hasn’t returned to the cage, man. Ok, yes, he got a major payday after boxing with Floyd Mayweather, but even that fight took place in August of 2017. Shit, fam, what the fuck is this dude waiting for, bruh?

Now, I’ve heard all of the arguments about why McGregor hasn’t had another fight. Look, I know he made an assload of money with Mayweather, so that UFC bread probably doesn’t compare. In that case, he should vacate the fucking belt. Listen, if Dana White and company can’t pay him what he thinks he’s worth, then he needs to move on and let other fighters battle for the belt. Shit, as of right now, Tony Ferguson should be considered the champ, son. Yeah, I know he only has the interim belt, but the organization had to do that because McGregor won’t fucking fight! Good Lord, it’s fucking madness, man!

In the end, McGregor needs to defend or vacate, fam. Ultimately, he needs to behave like a champion or get the fuck outta dodge, bruh. Then again, even if he unifies the title against Ferguson, NOBODY wants to fight Khabib Nurmagomedov. Shit, after what he just did to Edson Barboza, I wouldn’t fight that dude either, son. Look, I outweigh that guy by like 100 pounds and I STILL know better, man. That is all. LC out.

New Year’s Gym Etiquette

So, welcome to 2018, everyone! Listen, we’ve all been blessed to see another year, so we need to make sure that we take full advantage, son. With that being said, let’s briefly talk about New Year’s Resolutions, man. Now, when it comes to making a change in a new year, “getting in shape” is always high on people’s lists, fam. I mean, it’s understandable because folks feel like they have all 365 days to better themselves. In any case, I have a quick message for all of the newbies who shall be in the gym this month: get the fuckity-fuck out of my way!

Ok, I know this post may cause me to seem uppity and pretentious. In addition, I’m only like 6 months into my fitness journey, so I probably shouldn’t be judging anyone. However; fuck all of that, bruh! Real talk, if today is someone’s first day in the gym, I’ve got dibs on the dumbbells, son! Shit, if I need that 40-pound dumbbell, I might slap it out of a newbie’s hand, man! Yeah, that person can wait, fam! On the real, folks should let the regulars get their workouts done before they start commandeering equipment. All in all, that should be the price of admission, people!

In the end, I’m all for self-improvement, son. However; I ain’t allowing cats to just hog up all of the space, man. Ultimately, I might have to be Deebo at all local NYSC‘s, fam. By and by, if someone asks me for a weight, don’t be surprised if I ask “what weight” and uppercut ’em. That is all. Happy New Year and LC out!