Russell Westbrook Needs To Chill

Man, Kevin Durant created a fucking monster, bro. Even though Russell Westbrook has always played like someone sprinkled fecal matter on his Corn Flakes, he’s turned it up to 1000% this year, son. Has anyone been watching this dude, man?! 22 games into the NBA season, Westbrook is currently averaging a triple-double. Even crazier, he’s had triple-doubles in six straight games and reached that feat by the third quarter in four of the last five games. What kind of video game shit is this, bro? Now, the real question is, can he keep this up for the entire season?

As of right now, Westbrook is averaging 31 points, 11 assists and 11 rebounds. Only Oscar Robertson has ever averaged a triple-double for an entire season. He accomplished this feat during the 1970-71 season. Side note, Robertson also averaged a triple-double over a five-season period, but people don’t seem to talk about that as much. On the real, I have no idea why because I think that’s an even sillier accomplishment. In any case, with his absurd play this season, Westbrook has already passed LeBron James on the all-time triple-double list. Keep in mind, it took him 400 less games to do so. Now, I’m not trying to say anything about James’ legacy, because he’s already in the Top 3, but c’mon son, that’s an insane stat. A fucking insaaaane stat, man.

Now, let’s not pretend like Westbrook’s savagery isn’t a direct result of Durant leaving the Oklahoma City Thunder. While Westbrook has always been the one with the most heart on the team, when Durant tucked his tail between his legs and scurried over to the Golden State Warriors, Westbrook clearly took that shit personally, son. I truly believe that he believes he can steamroll his way into the playoffs and to a title. Shit, at this point, I want to see it, son. I want to see Westbrook average a triple-double for a whole season. I want to see the Thunder battle the Warriors in the playoffs. I want to see Westbrook dunk on the entire Golden State starting five… repeatedly. This is what basketball is about, son! Competition, competition and more competition! Let the bad blood rain, son! Kumite!!!

In the end, as I’m sure anyone reading this can tell, I’m enjoying the hell out of this show, man. I just hope it lasts forever. Viva la Russell Westbrook! Good day.

What Does It Take To Convict A Black Man’s Murderer?

So, if White people don’t understand why Black people don’t trust the justice system, look no further than Michael Slager. This man is the coward cop who shot Walter Scott in the back while he was running away AND planted a taser near his dead body. Look, it’s hard enough getting our killers to stand trial, let alone getting a conviction. Now, after Friday‘s mistrial in Slager’s case, Black people have yet ANOTHER example of how the system doesn’t protect us. Seriously, what does it take for our murderers to suffer the consequences of their actions?

As a refresher, in April of last year, Slager pulled Scott over for a broken brake light. From there, Scott fled, an altercation ensued when Slager caught up to him, Scott ran away again and Slager pumped five shots into his back. To make matters worse, after Scott’s body hit the ground, Slager picked up his deserted taser and placed it near the deceased Scott. Now, how do we know all of this? Because someone was filming the episode on his phone. At first, Feidin Santana, the man who took the video, didn’t come forward because he feared retribution. He eventually spoke up when he realized the authorities were lying about the events that led to Scott’s death.

Fast forward to Slager’s trial, this punk ass officer decided to take the stand in his own defense. Behind a myriad of crocodile tears, he tried to convince everyone that he feared for his life and that Scott still posed a threat, despite being 18 feet away and running in the opposite direction. Even after prosecutors pointed out the fact that Scott was unarmed and WELL out of reach, Slager still maintained his bullshit story of being in danger. To add insult to injury, Slager talked about how this incident has ruined the lives of him, his family and Scott’s family. Well, maybe if this clown wasn’t so fucking trigger happy in the first place, Scott’s family wouldn’t be suffering this pain.

With all of that being said, and with all of the evidence against Slager, one juror refused to convict him. In a statement released after the mistrial was announced, the juror said “I cannot and will not change my mind.” So, I have a few questions for that fucking juror? What other possible evidence would have been needed to garner a conviction? There’s a fucking video of the incident and that’s not enough?! Slager, after watching the aforementioned video, even admitted on the stand that Scott was unarmed and running away. That’s not enough?!?! There was even the option to convict him of manslaughter instead of murder? You couldn’t do that either?! What. The. Fuck. Man?! I’m literally at a loss for words here. At this point, I’m convinced God himself would have to come down from Heaven and say “Slager killed him.” Even then, that might not be enough to get a conviction.

In the end, THIS is why Black people don’t trust the system. THIS is why we say it’s rigged against us. There is literally NO justice for our people. Even during the rare times our murderers are forced to stand trial, they’re never punished. Yes, Slager will be tried again, but excuse me if I’m not convinced the system will work the next time around. It never does, son. It never does. I’m out.

Did J. Cole Diss Kanye West & Drake?

Damn, it was all good just a week ago, son. That dude Kanye West just can’t seem to catch a break, man. At this point, I’ve already chronicled a bunch of the fuck shit he’s been involved in, but now we may have to add “dissed by J. Cole” to the list. After watching Cole’s Eyez documentary on Tidal, it definitely seems like Cole took shots at both Kanye and Drake on his “False Prophets” song. If that’s the case, let the games begin!

Now, this is one of those cases where I’d much rather quote the words directly, as opposed to just paraphrasing. With that being said, take a look at what Cole said in one of the song’s verses:

“Life is a balance/You lose your grip you could slip into an abyss/No doubt, you see these niggas trippin’/Ego in charge of every move, he’s a star/ And we can’t look away due to the days when he caught our hearts/He’s falling apart but we deny it/ Justifying the half-assed shit he drop, we always buy it/When he tell us he a genius but it’s clearer lately/ It’s been hard for him to look into the mirror lately/There was a time when this nigga was my hero maybe/That’s the reason why his fall from grace is hard to take/’Cause I believed him when he said his shit was purer and he the type of nigga swear he real but all around is fake/The women, the dickriders, you know, the yes men/ Nobody with the balls to say something to contest him/So it grows out of control/ Until the person that he truly was all along is starting to show…”

Ok, so, I peeped the possible allusions to Kanye from the jump, but by the time Cole got to the “he tell us he a genius” line, I was convinced he was coming for Yeezus‘ neck, son. I mean, he would have to come out directly and say he wasn’t talking about Ye for me to think otherwise, man. Even then, I still probably wouldn’t believe him. In any case, Cole verbalized what a lot of people, including myself, currently think about Kanye. There’s no denying the man’s a legend, but at some point, his fuckery needs to stop. To me, he’s diminishing his legacy with his persistent irrational behavior. As I said in a previous post, maybe his recent hospital visit will really do him some good. Honestly, that’s all I really want, at this point.

Moving on, I also peeped the possible snipe shot he took at good ol’ Drake. As of right now, no one should be surprised by the news that Drake doesn’t write all of his rhymes. Now, if anyone is still a nonbeliever, just Google “Quentin Miller reference tracks” and have a ball, son. With that being said, when Cole rapped “but come to find out, these niggas don’t even write they shit/Hear some new style bubblin’ up, then they bite the shit,” the only person that came to mind was Aubrey. I mean, isn’t that what he actually does? Let’s be real, how many hit songs has Drake just jumped on so he can ride the wave? Whether we’re talking about Waka Flocka Flame‘s “Round Of Applause,” Migos‘ “Versace” or Fetty Wap‘s “My Way,” Drake has a history of doing exactly what Cole said, man. I still enjoy the dude’s music, but facts are facts, bro. It just is what it is, son.

In the end, I’m never mad at Rap beef, man. As long as the participants can actually rhyme and no one gets hurt, let’s have a fucking free-for-all, son. Rap is a contact sport, bro. Let the gladiators gladiate. Now, I’m positive I used “gladiate” wrong, but I don’t even care. I’m just with the shits, bro. Good day.

P.S. I also peeped how in another new song Cole dissed a bunch of young rappers with “Lil” in their names. Man, I don’t know who pissed in homie’s Cheerios, but he’s coming for everyone, son. The thing is, I support all of it, bro. Viva la punchlines! That is all.

A ‘Not Really A Review’ Review Of The Weeknd’s ‘Starboy’

So, in my eyes, this post is not really a review of The Weeknd‘s new Starboy album. Instead, I simply just want to talk about some of my favorite songs, son. It’s really that simple, man. Now, I’m not a complete Stan for every song on this album, but shiiiiit, there are some JAMS on here, bro! With that being said, let’s go through some of them.

First, I want to break these songs into tiers. For me, there are three tiers: “Fucking Unimpeachable,” “I Rock With These” and “Meh.” I’m only going to talk about the first two tiers, though. There’s really no sense in talking about the songs I’m kind of indifferent about. So, let’s start with “Fucking Unimpeachable,” son. In my eyes, and ears, there are four songs in that tier: “Starboy,” “Party Monster,” “Six Feet Under” and “Die for You.” Add up the Daft Punk 808‘s on “Starboy,” the EVERYTHING on “Party Monster,” the Future harmonies on “Six Feet Under” and the chorus on “Die for You” and we get fucking perfection, man. Literal perfection, bro.

Now, the songs in my “I Rock With These” tier are “Rockin'”, no pun intended, “Sidewalks” and “A Lonely Night.” To me, it’s no coincidence that superproducer Max Martin is responsible for two of these records. Side note, I want everyone to go and Google his name before continuing this post. I mean, that dude has produced damn near EVERY hit song since the late 1990‘s. This includes The Weeknd’s own number-one hit, “Can’t Feel My Face.” The wildest part is, I’m not even slightly exaggerating about this. He’s owned the Billboard Hot 100 for the last twenty years, man. In any case, add up the synth arpeggio/chorus on “Rockin'”, the guitars on “Sidewalks” and the hook on “A Lonely Night” and that satisfies my jam criteria, son.

In the end, that’s just how I feel, man. I fucks with this album, bro. Now, is it like his previous albums? Not really, but who really cares, though? He couldn’t be the dark room and cocaine cowboy forever, son. Let that man cook with his Pop stardom. Good day.

Let’s Talk About Issa Rae’s ‘Insecure’ Finale

So, I’m going to start this post by throwing my lady under the bus. Even though the finale for Issa Rae‘s HBO show, Insecure, aired on Sunday, I couldn’t watch it until last night because she fell asleep during the original showing. With that being said, everyone can blame her for my late review. In any case, I see the episode has splintered men and women on social media. Frankly, I’m not sure why. Issa took a lot of L’s in this episode and she deserved every single one of them.

Now, let me begin by saying I understand all of the gripes Issa had with her boyfriend, Lawrence. For the most part, he was a fucking bum, son. Despite being technologically gifted, he wasn’t doing shit with his abilities. At this point, I’m sure Issa was sick of hearing about Lawrence’s “app,” which never seemed to get off of the ground. Yes, we all have dreams, bro, but at some point, potential isn’t cool anymore. Either make real moves or shut up about these mythical aspirations. It was clear that he wasn’t really pulling his weight in the relationship.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about how Issa still ruined her own damn life. Even though I chronicled all of the ways Lawrence wasn’t shit, she still had the option to leave him. If she was that unfulfilled in her relationship, then what’s the point of hanging around? Being with someone for a number of years isn’t a good enough excuse. I could kick rocks with bare feet for four years, but that doesn’t make it a good fucking idea, man. Ohhhhh, ok, she was waiting around to see if he would get his shit together. But wait, when he actually got his shit together, that’s when she cheated on him with Daniel! How does that make any fucking sense, man?! She waits until Lawrence starts to become the man she wants him to be and throws it all away? What part of the game is that, son? Nah, man, Issa isn’t a victim here. She brought this avalanche on herself.

To be real, as fucked up as it sounds, I would’ve understood the situation more if she cheated while Lawrence was still bumming it. At least, in that case, she could’ve blamed it on unhappiness. It would’ve still been a bullshit excuse, but she would’ve had a stronger leg to stand on. Her relationship with Lawrence was actually on the incline and she fucked it up because she had an “itch” she wanted to scratch. Well, ok, she scratched her itch, opened up a major wound and now she doesn’t know how to fix it. Now, instead of coming home to her man, she came home to a set of keys, an empty bedroom and a Best Buy t-shirt. To make matters worse, Lawrence then proceeded to blow the cartilage out of Tasha‘s back. Shiiiit, it’s cold out here on these streets, son.

Ultimately, Issa doesn’t have an argument here. Disillusionment is not an excuse for disrespecting a relationship. If she truly wasn’t happy, she should’ve left. She didn’t have to wait until things were moving in a positive direction to derail it. She got what she deserved. Viva la Lawrence!

Bruno Mars Made A Blackity-Black A*s Album

So, I should have written something about Bruno Mars24K Magic album sooner, but I was too busy listening to it on repeat. Honestly speaking, this album is unskippable, man! I’m not even sure if unskippable is a word, but that’s the only way to describe this album, son. In nine songs, Mars legitimately chronicled all of Black music since the early 1970s. With that being said, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about this masterpiece.

Now, when I say that Bruno made a Blackity-Black ass album, I’m referring to the fact that it references so many past legends. “24K Magic” is essentially a Zapp song, “Perm” is a James Brown song, “Versace On The Floor” is a Freddie Jackson song and “Finesse” is vintage Teddy Riley. In those four songs alone, Bruno was able to synthesize different styles from across three different decades. He basically made an album of Top 40 songs that references Top 40 songs from past eras. Honestly, it’s fucking uncanny how he was able to replicate some of these sounds, man. On the aforementioned “Finesse,” which is my favorite song on the album, I’m convinced he stole some of Teddy’s keyboards, bro. The sound is way too perfect, son.

Ultimately, I could keep going, but there’s really nothing else that needs to be said. If anyone is a fan of Black music, they’ll definitely be a fan of this album. Side note, let’s be real, damn near ALL music stems from Black music. Don’t even try to fight me on this, son. In any case, I’m just happy to see an artist breathe new life into some of these genres, man. In addition, I’m hyped to hear musicianship again. When I listen to a lot of music these days, I wonder if some of these “artists” even know what an instrument is. Then again, that’s a discussion for another day, son. Now, go listen to that Bruno Mars album! Good day.

Nazis Love Donald Trump

Ok, let’s cut through the bullshit and get straight to the point, son. There is no such thing as an alt-right movement, man. The bigots who embrace that term, and openly support Donald Trump, are nothing more than White Nationalists. Taking it a step further, these bigots are nothing more than Nazis. Now, for anyone who thinks I’m being facetious, let’s review the fuckery that recently occurred in Washington, D.C. when Richard Spencer hosted his alt-right conference.

Now, this past Saturday, Spencer decided to host a play date with him and all of his racists friends. So, how do I know they’re racist? Well, Spencer stated that his dream is “a new society, an ethno-state that would be a gathering point for all Europeans.” In addition, he actively wants what he calls “peaceful ethnic cleansing.” Ethnic cleansing, bro? He really said that shit out loud, man? These statements were made along with a variety of anti-Semitic remarks, and at one point, Spencer called the media “Lügenpresse,” which comes directly from the Adolf Hitler playbook.

Stepping back for a second, even if there are Americans who are massive bigots, what part of the game is being a Nazi-sympathizer? Our country literally went to war to ensure that Hitler and his agenda were defeated. Why the fuck are reporters and pundits getting cute about what’s happening here? Individuals who are vocally in Trump’s corner are embracing Aryan fundamentals and no one’s calling them out on their bullshit. Hell, David Duke even felt compelled to run for office because he was so inspired by Trump’s platform.

Getting back to Spencer’s conference, the attendees thought it was a good idea to greet each other with the Hitler salute. They even thought it was a good idea to shout “hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory” while doing it. Bruh, I couldn’t even make this shit up if I wanted to. This fuckery is happening in real life, man! This is the America that Donald Trump has empowered. Like it or not, when Trump supporters put that orange-faced bastard into office, they opened the door for this type of hatred. No, one doesn’t come without the other and THIS is the country we really live in. Miss me with all of the excuses, son. A vote for Trump was a vote for White Nationalism. Point, blank, period!

In the end, what the hell do I know, son? I can write until my fingers fall off, but clearly the Trump administration doesn’t follow logic. The Donald would much rather take shots at the Hamilton cast than call out his Nazi supporters. Shit, he had to be directly asked about the situation by Julie Davis to even get a fucking response, man! Once again, I don’t give a fuck if Trump supporters don’t think they’re all racist. Ultimately, their leader is. Steve Bannon is. Jeff Sessions is. As far as I’m concerned, these clowns can all hail these nuts, bitch! Come and get me! Good day.