Loose Lips Sink Countries

Man, at what point will Republicans say “enough is enough?” At what point will the GOP abandon their wayward leader? As of now, Donald Trump must be purposely trying to destroy democracy, son. I mean, why else would he continuously do such outrageously stupid shit? Look, all I know is, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and the Oval Office is dealing with a five-alarm blaze right now.

Now, for anyone who missed it, there’s so much fuckery going on, bruh. It all began when Trump decided to invite Sergei Lavrov and Sergey Kislyak into the White House. To be clear, these men are Russia‘s Foreign Minister and Ambassador, respectively. Now, for the people keeping score, the American press wasn’t allowed in this meeting. However; pictures of this shindig surfaced on the Twitter account for Tass, a Russian state-run news agency. So, essentially, Russia had more insight into this gathering than our own people. Cool.

Moving on, this isn’t even the worst part of the story, man. Apparently, during this meeting with Vladimir Putin‘s cronies, Trump revealed classified information that could jeopardize an initiative against ISIS. Now, while the President has the authority to discuss anything he wants, the intelligence community is still scrambling to salvage whatever leverage they have against ISIS. All in all, Trump’s loose lips endangered vital intel and people. Side note, didn’t he run his entire campaign on the idea that Hillary Clinton couldn’t be trusted with classified information? Oh, ok, just checking.

So, with all of that being said, that’s not even the coup de grâce, son. Now, if anyone paid attention to the second paragraph, they’d notice that I mentioned the name “Sergey Kislyak.” This name is important because this is the same man who Michael Flynn got fired for speaking to! This is the same man who Jeff Sessions had to recuse himself over! Are you fucking kidding me, man?! Trump is really holding meetings with the dude at the CENTER of the collusion allegations against his administration?! Good fucking Lord, fam! How treacherous can one human being be?! It’s so fucking outlandish, son!

Ultimately, where are all of the Republicans with some cotdamn sense? All I know is, they need to distance themselves from this man NOW! Trump is taking this country straight to Hell and NO ONE is doing anything about it! Listen, at the moment, the GOP runs every branch of government. They have the power to put an end to this man’s madness. Please, for once, do the right fucking thing, folks! *Sigh* LC out.

Donald Trump Just Fired The Dude Investigating Him

Son, what the fuck is going on right now? Like, Donald Trump and company must really think we’re stupid, man. Then again, he was actually voted into office, so the American people are clearly stupid. In any case, there is no way, NO WAY that someone can convince me that James Comey’s firing was justified! I mean, this entire situation reeks of insidiousness and underhanded behavior, fam. Look, no Earthly creature can tell me that this decision wasn’t related to Comey’s investigation of the Trump administration. With that being said, we need to figure out this Russia connection before it’s too late.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one particular point: I don’t like James Comey. Listen, even though Hillary Clinton’s campaign made NUMEROUS errors, the fruitless FBI investigation into her emails ended up hurting her electability. Bruh, Comey reopened the investigation TWO WEEKS before people went to the polls! To make matters worse, the Feds weren’t even looking at her emails directly. They were probing through the emails of Huma Abedin, Clinton’s right-hand woman. In the end, what results did this investigation yield? NOT A FUCKING THING, MAN! So, ultimately, Comey royally screwed Clinton.

Moving on, this is exactly why the White House’s explanation for firing Comey doesn’t make sense. All in all, everything I just wrote in the last paragraph happened in the summer and fall of 2016. If Comey was such a liability, why didn’t they fire him as soon as Trump took office? As a matter of fact, as recently as January, Trump said that Comey would keep his job. There were literally no new developments in the Clinton saga, so how could that be the reason for relieving him of duty? Nah, son, they decided to fire Comey when he announced an inquiry into the links between Trump’s administration and Russia. The timeline is clear as day, son. So, miss me with the bullshit misdirection, man.

By and by, we’re witnessing something EXTREMELY dangerous right now. Look, it’s only been a couple of months and Trump has already set the precedent of firing people who question him. He fired Sally Yates for refusing to enforce the Muslim Ban. He fired Preet Bharara for investigating questionable decisions by members of Trump’s team. Now, he fired Comey. Fam, this isn’t a fucking television show! This man can’t just fire people for ratings. Ultimately, all of these actions could have scary consequences for our democracy. All I know is, a reality star has turned our country into a terrible reality show. LC out.

P.S. For anyone who doubts my logic here, just think about the fact that Jeff Sessions was the man who suggested removing Comey. Lest we forget, Sessions had to recuse himself from the Russia investigation because he was balls deep in the fuckery. So, tell me again how all of this isn’t related? Yeah, I thought so. That is all.

A Letter To Hillary Clinton

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Look, I’m not one to mince words, so I’ll just get straight to the point. I’m going to need you to let the election go now. The fact of the matter is, you lost. Yes, we could all point to a million different factors that led to this outcome. However; as much as it pains me to say this, Donald Trump is the President. At this point, instead of rehashing your defeat, maybe you should focus on helping to prevent him from ending Western Civilization.

Now, to be fair, I did vote for you. To do this, I begrudgingly looked past your “superpredators” comment and your history with the prison industrial complex. Shit, as fucked up as your policies have been, I was/still am legitimately scared of Trump. I mean, based on what we’ve seen so far, World War III may still be on the horizon. In any case, I’ve never enjoyed picking the “lesser of two evils.” Listen, this entire election cycle has proved how antiquated the two-party political system really is.

Moving on, despite the loss, you refuse to accept any responsibility. Ok, I get it, FBI Director James Comey royally screwed you with his fuckery. The timing of his renewed investigation into your emails is suspect at best. However; that doesn’t account for the many errors you made on the campaign trail.

First, you lost Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Florida. These are all states that Barack Obama won twice. Twice! In fact, until you, a Democrat hadn’t lost Pennsylvania since 1988. I was 3 years old when that last occurred. To make matters worse, you didn’t campaign in Wisconsin and you only put some money down in Michigan during the last week of the election. How the fuck did you expect to win those states? In my eyes, your hubris got the best of you. You really thought you could just pull those states out of your ass with minimal effort. Well, clearly you were wrong.

Listen, I’m not ignoring the outside factors that may have contributed to your loss. Was there a gender component? Absolutely. Was there a Comey component? Absolutely. Was there a Julian Assange/WikiLeaks/Russia component? Absolutely. With that being said, take some responsibility for your own mistakes. Otherwise, you’re going to keep looking like a bitter loser. All in all, it is what it is, Mrs. Clinton. It just is what it is.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s stockpiling supplies in preparation for Armageddon

Rachel Maddow Just Wasted Our Time

Look, here at I Can’t Be Famous, the Internet thuggery doesn’t discriminate, son. Anybody can get this work anytime and any place. With that being said, I need to take Rachel Maddow to task today. Now, after securing a portion of Donald Trump‘s 2005 tax returns, she got everyone hyped to see what they contained. However; after watching her show last night, I was pissed, man! I mean, she essentially wasted everyone’s time! There was nothing revealed that was noteworthy, bruh. All in all, I know just as much today as I did before her “breaking news.” *Sigh* Thanks for nothing, Rachel!

So, before all of the hoopla last night, I was just chilling in my living room. My wife called me from the bedroom like “babe, Rachel Maddow has Trump’s tax returns! She’s going to expose them on her show!” Now, as anyone could imagine, I was very intrigued, son. Fast forward to 9PM, I parked myself in front of the television, waiting for the scoop. Five minutes passed. Then ten minutes passed. Then twenty minutes passed. I’m listening and listening until I finally realized that Maddow hadn’t said shit yet. After all of the hype, she really only had two pages of his 2005 tax return.

Now, let’s step back for a second. To be clear, people like me want to see Trump’s tax returns to see if he has any interests that could influence his presidency. I mean, there’s no secret that Trump and his staff have had frequent communication with various individuals from Russia. With that being said, the goal is to get a better understanding of what the possible connection might be. In any case, Maddow’s “big revelation” was nothing more than a smoke screen, man. She literally presented no new information that could be used to unravel this mystery.

Keeping it a buck, I don’t give a fuck about what Russian dude bought Trump’s house in 2004. I don’t give a fuck about the fact that he made $150 million in 2005. I don’t give a fuck about the fact that he paid $38 million in taxes. Ok, yes, he paid a lower percentage of taxes than the average American, but what wealthy person doesn’t? I mean, isn’t that what Democrats and Republicans have been fighting about since the beginning of time? In addition, didn’t Trump already call himself “smart” for benefiting from the tax code during a debate against Hillary Clinton? Look, Maddow was doing nothing but preaching to the choir. All in all, we, the people, are no closer to the truth, man. Ultimately, she was just doing the most for ratings.

In the end, MSNBC played themselves, bruh. All I know is, the next time that network has some “breaking news,” I’ll just wait for the recap, son. *Sigh* What a bunch of malarkey, man. LC out.

I Shed Tears For Kalief Browder

Keeping it a buck, I rarely cry, son. Look, I’m not trying to sound macho when I say that, but it’s simply the truth. I didn’t cry when my sons were born and I didn’t cry when I got married. Tears just don’t seem to hit me very often, man. With all of that being said, I cried last night. I legit shed tears in the aftermath of watching Time: The Kalief Browder Story on Spike. At this point, I have so many thoughts that it’s actually hard for me to properly articulate myself. All I know is, when it comes to being Black in this country, any of us could be Kalief Browder.

Now, even though my life has been very different than Browder’s, there are several ways I feel connected to him. Despite being eight years younger than me, Browder and I are both Bronx kids. We both grew up under the tyranny of Rudy Giuliani, Ray Kelly and the stop-and-frisk era. We both knew what it was like to be harassed by police when we were just minding our own business. When I learned that a 14-year-old Browder caught a felony for joyriding in a bread truck, I immediately thought of all of the dumb shit I’ve done that I’ve never been busted for. It’s sad to say, but inner city life can be very homogeneous for the people in the community.

Moving on, the aforementioned felony is notable because it would ultimately lead to Browder’s downfall. After Roberto Bautista falsely accused a 16-year-old Browder of robbing him, the subsequent arrest ensured that Browder would have to go to jail. Even though he was innocent of the claim against him, he still ended up on Rikers Island. From there, Browder was consistently abused by his fellow inmates and the guards. During his three years in jail, he spent 800 of those days in solidarity confinement. Despite repeatedly asking for a trial, prosecutors only offered him plea deals that would make him serve 15 years in prison. Essentially, Browder was abused by every single facet of the criminal justice system.

To make matters worse, his mother couldn’t raise the $900 that would bail him out of jail. So, on top of being unfairly criminalized because he was Black, Browder also suffered because he was poor. The pain of his story is exacerbated by the fact that this type of injustice occurs often. To put it plainly, Browder wasn’t the first person to be destroyed by the law. Sadly, he won’t be the last one either.

On the real, even though I already knew Browder’s story, last night hit me hard. Honestly, all I could do was think about my two sons. Due to what I’ve accomplished thus far in life, the prospect of paying $900 for bail wouldn’t kill me. However; what about Browder’s mother, man? Why did she have to lose her son because of poverty? In addition, why are Black youth always treated like menaces? This is exactly why I’ll NEVER forgive Hillary Clinton for her “superpredators” comment. It’s that type of logic that makes it okay to bury our children in the prison industrial complex.

All in all, after writing this entire post, I still feel like I haven’t said anything. Ultimately, Browder killed himself because he couldn’t continue living through the pain. He couldn’t continue reliving all of the anguish and desperation. *Sigh* I don’t know what else to say here. LC out.

A Letter To People Who Regret Voting For Donald Trump

Dear Regretful Donald Trump Voters,

I’ve never been one to hold back or mince my words, so I’ll just get straight to the point. If you already regret voting for Trump, I don’t feel sorry for you. Sounds harsh, but I wholeheartedly mean that. If you’re one of the people who has suddenly realized Trump is a con artist, I have no sympathy for you. This man showed you who he was the entire election and you refused to believe him. So, every terrible thing he does from here on out is on YOUR head.

Look, at this point, I’m not even going to reiterate all of the awful things he’s said or done. I’ve done that enough times on this blog. However; let’s talk about all of the promises he made to YOU and already backtracked on.

First, there was all of the bullshit he said about Hillary Clinton. For the entire duration of his campaign, Trump claimed he was going to lock Clinton up for her “crimes.” What were her crimes exactly? Having a private email server. Regardless of the fact the FBI determined she had broken no laws, Trump still asserted that he was coming for her head. Now, since all of you Clinton-haters LOVED the idea of putting her in an orange jumpsuit, you flocked to the orange-faced clown. With all of that being said, what does he do when he wins? Completely abandon the notion of pursuing any charges against her. One point for you Trump supporters.

Next, there was his stance on Obamacare. For YEARS, he railed about how much of a failure the ACA was. His entire healthcare platform was built around repealing the law and replacing it with something “better.” In any case, just a few days after being elected, Trump talked about possibly keeping parts of Obamacare. Then, he switched course and said the law was going to be repealed and replaced simultaneously.

Now, here’s the problem: not only do your Republican reps not have a replacement plan, but they don’t even have enough votes to pass anything at all. It takes 60 votes to push a new plan through the Senate and the GOP only has 52 seats. Do you see the issue here? Once again, Trump made a promise he can’t possibly keep. Not to mention, after this past December‘s ACA enrollment period, the states with the highest coverage are the ones that voted for Trump. Are you guys really that stupid? I’ll just take that as a yes, son.

Ultimately, you guys are getting what you asked for. You asked for a liar to be your president and you got one. Let’s see if all of his billionaire cabinet friends will help drain that swamp for you. Good luck suffering through the mess you caused. I’m out.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood LC

Donald Trump Loves Golden Showers

So, let me begin this post by saying there is no actual evidence to suggest that Donald Trump loves golden showers. As of right now, Ben Smith‘s dossier in BuzzFeed is the only article to mention the possibility of Trump paying hookers to piss on him. Now, even after saying that, I guarantee some idiot is going to read my headline and get pissed (phrasing). Well, stupid is as stupid does, son. I have no control over people’s reactions, man. In any case, the real story here is the allegations that Russia has damaging personal and financial information about Trump. With that being said, all I want to know is, if this is the case, why was Hillary Clinton the only person harmed by Russian hacking?

Now, at this point, I don’t have to tell anyone what happened during the election, man. If someone is unaware of the fuckery that occurred over the past year, then they’re lost anyway. In any case, American intelligence agencies have made it well known that Russia engaged in various hacks, in an attempt to influence our presidential election. Despite the fact that Trump and his team have denied all of this from the beginning, I’m going to go ahead and believe the FBI, CIA and NSA. Let’s just say, I’m more convinced of their ability to deal with facts instead of propaganda.

Moving on, I just want to know, if all of these agencies were aware of potentially damaging information about Trump, why did Clinton always get the short end of the stick? Shit, just a week before voting in November, FBI Director James Comey released a note saying they were looking into more emails related to Clinton. Despite the fact they found nothing, this incident was just another slight against Clinton, which raised doubts in the minds of the American people. Keep in mind, outside of the fact that the private email server existed, the FBI never found any evidence of an actual crime. Yet, this storyline ended up playing a major factor in our election. None of this is adding up to me, son.

In the end, I may be looked at as a conspiracy theorist, but when shit stinks, it stinks, man. If a foreign entity has information about two people and only one person suffers for it, it can be deduced that they were trying to benefit the other. Don’t be surprised when Vladimir Putin is freely walking around Manhattan, son. Hell, he might have a suite in Trump Tower as we speak. We’ve got a Russian puppet as a President, man. Oh happy day… on Opposite Day.

P.S. Even though I don’t think the story is true, wouldn’t it be GOLD if Donald Trump loved getting peed on? Side note, see what I did there? I’m killing y’all, man. Get fire on these bitches, son! In any case, the more Trump’s questionable behavior comes to light, the more I’m convinced he’ll be quickly impeached. I would rejoice, but I’m not too fond of a Mike Pence presidency either. That dude is verifiably loco, son. That is all.