UFC 245 Was NUTS!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I don’t even know where to start, man. The fact is, UFC 245 was fucking nuts, fam! Now, I know that the fight between Kamaru Usman and Colby Covington was worth the price of admission. But, the rest of the card was also crazy, bruh. All in all, I was thoroughly entertained by Saturday night’s chaos (pun intended).

Ok, as folks can probably assume, I’m here to recap Saturday’s shenanigans. Anyway, let’s begin with the bout between Geoff Neal and Mike Perry. Now, to be frank, I’m a big Mike Perry fan, son. I mean, he doesn’t always win his matches, but he’s always fucking exciting, man. In addition, he’s normally durable as shit. Well, Neal put a stop to all of that shit, fam. All I can say is, he hit Perry with a head kick that ended the night quick, bruh. The fact is, Neal is going to be a problem at Welterweight, people.

Next, we had Petr Yan versus Urijah Faber. All I know is, that fight went exactly the way that I thought it would, son. Seriously, Faber had no business fucking with a dangerous dude like Yan, man. In any case, another head kick put another fighter down, fam. Shit was brutal, brethren. From there, José Aldo got robbed against Marlon Moraes. Look, Aldo kept chasing Moraes around because Moraes refused to engage, bruh. The way I see it, you can’t backpedal for an entire fight and earn a decision, folks.

After that, the G.O.A.T. Amanda Nunes took on Germaine de Randamie for the Bantamweight title. Now, if I’m being honest, I thought that Nunes would steamroll de Randamie, son. Ok, yes, it’s been six years since Nunes first beat her. But, based on Nunes’ last couple of years, I thought this would be light work, man. The truth is, the bout was a lot closer than the scorecards would suggest, fam. Like, I know that Nunes won four rounds, but it wasn’t easy, bruh. Shit, there were a few times where Nunes was in real danger, folks. From submission attempts to upkicks to well-placed right hands, de Randamie held her own against the champ. However, she couldn’t stop a takedown to save her life, people. Honestly, that’s the area where Nunes dominated.

Moving on, we got to see Max Holloway scrap with Alexander Volkanovski for the Featherweight strap. Keeping it a buck, I had no idea how this fight would go, son. Yes, Holloway has been a dominant champion, but Volkanovski is a motherfucker, man. With all of that being said, Volkanovski kept Holloway at bay with copious amounts of leg kicks. Real talk, Holloway couldn’t really put his offense together because his legs were getting brutalized, fam. To me, Holloway won Round 4 and maaaaybe Round 2. Other than that, Volkanovski did more than enough to dethrone the champ, bruh. From my vantage point, it was a brilliant strategy, folks.

Now, let’s get to the main event, son. *Wooooo* I’ve been waiting for this shit for a while, man. Truth be told, I didn’t have a clue on how Usman versus Covington would play out, fam. Like, they’re both dominating wrestlers with relentless pressure. Hell, I thought that the winner would be determined by who got tired first. In any case, I didn’t see this fight turning into a straight standup battle. For nearly five rounds, both men went back-and-forth with no wrestling, minimal kicks and a TON of punches to the face.

When it comes to their styles, it was basically power against volume. Usman had the power and Covington had the volume. When it was all said and done, the power won out, bruh. In Round 3, Usman broke Covington’s jaw. In Round 5, Usman knocked him down twice before finishing him. Despite a respectable effort, Covington couldn’t keep taking those hits to the face, son. Regardless, I was fucking happy to see Covington go down, man.

Look, before I continue, I want to address the MAGA crowd that loves Covington. Listen, I guess it’s only right that they subscribe to “fake news,” fam. Shit, on social media, I’m hearing cats cry about an “early stoppage” and that Covington would’ve won a decision. Now, factually speaking, going into Round 5, the three judges had it 3-1 Usman, 3-1 Covington and 2-2 even. On top of that, based on the two knockdowns alone, Usman was winning the fifth round. So, even without the knockout, Covington would’ve lost a split decision. Side bar, anybody who thought that Covington won three rounds is a fucking joke, bruh. That’s literally nonsense, son. Anyway, Usman saved everyone the trouble and put the clown on his ass.

In the end, I’m glad that I gave ESPN my $59.99. Ultimately, damn near all of the fights were entertaining as shit, man. By and by, we’ll probably get a Usman/Covington rematch down the line. For now, I’m just glad to see the dumbass squirm, fam. Viva la UFC! That is all. LC out.

P.S. There’s something truly disheartening to see Candace Owens, a whole Black woman, call Usman the “Nigerian cry baby” in Covington’s Instagram comments. *Sigh* I won’t even expound further, son. I’ll just leave that there. Good day.

P.P.S. I wonder if Donald Trump will return Covington’s calls now that he lost. Probably not, right? Ha!

Amanda Nunes Is The GOAT

Look, there are a few things in life that can always be debated. We can debate whether Coca-Cola or Pepsi is the better drink (it’s definitely Pepsi). We can debate whether Tyson Fury got up before the ten-count against Deontay Wilder (he definitely did). Hell, we can even debate whether Killmonger was right in Black Panther (he definitely was). However, there’s one topic that isn’t up for debate, son: Amanda Nunes is the greatest women’s MMA fighter ever. Fucking ever, man!

Ok, by now, anyone familiar with MMA should know that Nunes knocked Cris Cyborg the fuck out. Now, I’ll be honest, fam. On the real, I didn’t give Nunes much of a chance, bruh. Like, I legit looked at Cyborg like the Terminator, son. But, to be fair, I also believed that if anyone was capable of pulling off an upset, it was Nunes. Real talk, I gave Nunes a slight glimmer of hope because she hits fucking hard, man! So, in my head, if by some miracle she caught Cyborg with the right punch, she might be able to pull it off. Well, I was right AND wrong, folks. Yes, she did catch Cyborg with the right punch. But, she also caught Cyborg with like 20 other “right” punches, people. I mean, Nunes beat the SHIT out of her, brethren!

All I know is, after this victory, Nunes is CLEARLY the GOAT, son. Now, I’m not just saying that because of her victory over Cyborg. Nah, I’m saying that because of her victory over Cyborg AND all of the other legends she’s beat, man. Keeping it a buck, her resume is STACKED, fam. Shit, let’s go through some of the women she’s conquered, bruh:

  • Cris Cyborg: Former Strikeforce, Invicta FC and UFC Featherweight Champion
  • Ronda Rousey: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Valentina Shevchenko: Current UFC Flyweight Champion
  • Miesha Tate: Former Strikeforce and UFC Bantamweight Champion
  • Julia Budd: Current Bellator Featherweight Champion
  • Germaine de Randamie: Former UFC Featherweight Champion

For God‘s sake, what else do I have to say, son? Nunes took out 6 of the most notable champions in MMA history. From my vantage point, this puts her FAR ahead of her competition, man. At this point, Holly Holm is the only one who hasn’t taken the L yet. Side note, that’s probably coming, fam. All I can say is, I don’t see Holm beating Nunes. Anyway, it’s time for us to acknowledge that Nunes is the greatest, bruh. Hell, it’s not even fucking close, folks.

In the end, all hail the GOAT! Ultimately, Nunes solidified her place in history, son. By and by, I was hyped as shit to see it, man. At the end of the day, that’s all I have to say, fam. Viva la Amanda Nunes! That is all. LC out.

P.S. Happy New Year, you filthy animals! Good day!

Nooo, Ronda Rousey Wasn’t Ready!

So, at this point, Kevin Hart‘s “She Wasn’t Ready” bit is so ingrained in my head, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Ronda Rousey get the tomorrow knocked outta her by Amanda Nunes. Shiiiit, that’s gotta be it, right? I mean, Rousey’s career has gotta be over, right? This is now the second straight time her face got the piñata treatment, son. First, she got the business from Holly Holm, and now Nunes got her hits in. With that being said, I think it’s safe to say, happy trails, Ronda!

Now, keeping it a buck, there really isn’t much to write about this, man. I can’t turn a 48 second fight into a dissertation. Shit, as soon as the rumble started, it ended, son. Nunes came out of gate looking for blood and Rousey had absolutely no answers. I do, however, have a question for Rousey’s coach. Rousey built her career on grappling moves and submissions. Why the fuck is she being advised to box her opponents? I would’ve assumed that the ass whooping she took from Holm would’ve been enough for her team to realize boxing is a bad fucking idea. Instead, Rousey tried to put her dukes up against Nunes and got beaten like a rented mule, man. All I can say is, her team set her up for failure. Pure failure.

Ok, so, the last point I want to make is in regards to some fuck shit Rousey’s mother said. After her daughter got her ass kicked, again, AnnMaria De Mars expressed her desire to see Rousey retire. Now, that’s not the bad part. In all honesty, that would probably be the best move for Rousey. Things got weird when De Mars said “I told her that at the beginning of this thing that [she’s] smart and beautiful, let the stupid people get punched in the face.”

Wait, huh? Naaaah, son. De Mars hasn’t earned the right to have that attitude, man. As far as we’re all concerned, her daughter is the only stupid person getting punched in the face. As we’ve seen in her last two fights, her opponents actually punch her in the face quite often, son. Maybe her daughter is the dumbest of them all because she keeps getting in the Octagon to have her shit pushed in. Someone tell De Mars to go sit her ass down somewhere. Oh, and maybe she should take her daughter with her. She clearly isn’t making it in this MMA world, man. The only fighter who can take repeated head shots and still come out on top is Rocky Balboa. And did I mention, he isn’t real!

In the end, I won’t front like that Rousey-Nunes fight wasn’t entertaining, son. Shit is bad when the entire fight can fit in an Instagram video. All I know is, the only MMA fighter who’s really worth the hype is Jon Jones. I just wish that fool would stop doing dumb shit outside of the ring. Good day.