Wait… People Really Want The Rock To Run For President?!

Fam, what in tarnation is going on around here? Like, is this the world that Donald Trump has created? Do people really think that absolutely ANYONE can be President now? Bruh, this shit needs to stop ASAP! No, The Rock does not need to run for government, son. Listen, the man is an actor and a wrestler. He has NO qualifications for the highest office in the world, man. All in all, politics needs to be left to the politicians. The clown shows need to cease, fam.

So, how did we get here? Well, we can thank Kenton Tilford from West Virginia. Now, this dude actually started a campaign committee and filed to draft Dwayne Johnson for President. Like, I can’t make this shit up, son. Listen, the committee, named “Run the Rock 2020,” is actually a real thing, man. Apparently, Tilford believes that Johnson can provide “real leadership” and even created the hashtag #MakeAmericaRockAgain.

Look, I won’t lie, son. This bullshit has made me despise Trump even more, man. Shit, this is the climate he’s created. He’s founded a world where political experience doesn’t matter anymore. Hell, every time he makes some ridiculous move, his defenders just chalk it up to him being a “political novice.” Well, that means he doesn’t deserve the fucking job, man! Bruh, I can’t just roll up into Toyota and say “I’m going to make the next car.” Nah, I don’t know shit about building vehicles, fam! Listen, I’d probably get physically thrown out of the building, people.

To be fair, I’m a huge fan of The Rock. While his movies can be hit or miss, he’s a muhfucking legend in the squared circle, son. On the real, I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve called someone a “jabroni,” man. Keeping it a buck, no one has lived a full life until they ask someone a  question, wait for them to answer and then yell “it doesn’t matter!” With that being said, Johnson doesn’t need to be our damn President, fam. At this point, our country is already in shambles because we gave a television star the nuclear codes. Let’s not continue our buffoonery, bruh.

In the end, the novelty has worn off, fam. On the real, I just want politicians to hold political offices. Now, while I may hate a lot of them, at least I can say that they know how government works. By and by, I’m just tired of seeing our elected officials look like sideshow attractions. That is all. LC out.

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Greg Gianforte: The Stone Cold Steve Austin Of Politics

Bruh, what manner of fuckery is this? I mean, is this how our politicians are getting down now? Look, I know we’re in the age of Donald Trump, but there has to be a limit to the foolishness, right? Son, Greg Gianforte really just took a hatred of the press to the next level. For a moment, he forgot he was running for Congress and took up Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s mantle. All I know is, I’m not sure how practicing wrestling moves can help a campaign.

Now, I won’t lie, son. When I first heard the story I’m about to tell, I laughed. Like, I couldn’t fathom the idea of a politician doing what Gianforte did, man. So, for those who are unaware, Gianforte physically attacked a reporter. It all began when Ben Jacobs, a journalist from The Guardian, walked into Gianforte’s campaign headquarters and put a recorder in front of Gianforte. Apparently, he wanted to know Gianforte’s take on the latest Congressional Budget Office report. This newly-released document stated that 23 million people would lose health insurance under the recently-approved American Health Care Act. Needless to say, Gianforte wasn’t thrilled by the question.

From there, Gianforte grabbed Jacobs by the neck, body slammed him and then started punching him in the face. Now, how do we know all of this? Because Alicia Acuna, a Fox News reporter, was one of the people in the room when the assault occurred. Meaning, they were able to refute Gianforte’s claim that Jacobs was physically aggressive towards him. All in all, Gianforte went into Wolverine berserker mode and started bugging out on Jacobs.

Man, what in the fuckity-fuck is good in these streets? Son, this dude is running for Congress? Like, he’s trying to be down with the House of Representatives? For real?! How the fuck can anyone in Montana vote for this dude if he behaves like this? How can this man be trusted by anyone? For God‘s sake, he attacked a man for asking him a question! How does that action exude any type of leadership or self-control? At this point, Montana should be ashamed of themselves if they elect this clown. Hell, he was just arrested for what he did to Jacobs. Ultimately, he doesn’t deserve a seat in the House, fam.

In the end, our political system has gone to Hell, son. Listen, I literally can’t guess what will happen next with our elected officials. Seriously, everyone has lost their fucking minds around here. At this rate, I might really have to run for office, man. I mean, I’m competent enough, right? Right?! Yeah, I thought so. LC out.