Does North Korea REALLY Want Smoke?

Ok, look, I’ve talked about the possibility of World War III a few times, son. Now, even though I was always serious, a part of me didn’t really believe it would go down, man. However; North Korea is out here WILIN’, fam! I mean, it seems like they really want some static, bruh. All I know is, after their latest hydrogen bomb test, the world might really be headed to No Man’s Land, people.

So, for those who missed it, this past Sunday, North Korea detonated its sixth nuclear bomb. This came hours after a picture of Kim Jong-un was released, where he appeared to be inspecting a hydrogen bomb. Now, this is notable because North Korea is claiming to have a functioning warhead that can fit in a missile. Basically, these muhfuckas might have a reliable nuke now, son! All in all, shit is rapidly getting real and the United States has a tough choice on its hands.

Now, I never thought I’d see the day when I would say this, but I agree with Vladimir Putin, man. Sanctions against North Korea are useless, man. Like, Jong-un and company don’t give a fuck about non-military consequences. For whatever reason, North Korea seems to actually want war, fam. So, the question is, do we give in to conflict? At this point, if we do go to war, it will probably end up being nuclear. In addition, based on the fact that Russia and China also have nukes, we all might be SUPER fucked, bruh!

In the end, shit is getting thick out here, son. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even have any answers, man. All I can say is, I’m DEFINITELY following this situation closely, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect much from Donald Trump, but he CAN’T fuck this up, people! If he does, we might not be around long enough to fix the problem. By and by, can someone tell Jong-un to chill? Listen, he won’t win this conflict, but the collateral damage just isn’t worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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A Letter To Hillary Clinton

Dear Hillary Clinton,

Look, I’m not one to mince words, so I’ll just get straight to the point. I’m going to need you to let the election go now. The fact of the matter is, you lost. Yes, we could all point to a million different factors that led to this outcome. However; as much as it pains me to say this, Donald Trump is the President. At this point, instead of rehashing your defeat, maybe you should focus on helping to prevent him from ending Western Civilization.

Now, to be fair, I did vote for you. To do this, I begrudgingly looked past your “superpredators” comment and your history with the prison industrial complex. Shit, as fucked up as your policies have been, I was/still am legitimately scared of Trump. I mean, based on what we’ve seen so far, World War III may still be on the horizon. In any case, I’ve never enjoyed picking the “lesser of two evils.” Listen, this entire election cycle has proved how antiquated the two-party political system really is.

Moving on, despite the loss, you refuse to accept any responsibility. Ok, I get it, FBI Director James Comey royally screwed you with his fuckery. The timing of his renewed investigation into your emails is suspect at best. However; that doesn’t account for the many errors you made on the campaign trail.

First, you lost Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Florida. These are all states that Barack Obama won twice. Twice! In fact, until you, a Democrat hadn’t lost Pennsylvania since 1988. I was 3 years old when that last occurred. To make matters worse, you didn’t campaign in Wisconsin and you only put some money down in Michigan during the last week of the election. How the fuck did you expect to win those states? In my eyes, your hubris got the best of you. You really thought you could just pull those states out of your ass with minimal effort. Well, clearly you were wrong.

Listen, I’m not ignoring the outside factors that may have contributed to your loss. Was there a gender component? Absolutely. Was there a Comey component? Absolutely. Was there a Julian Assange/WikiLeaks/Russia component? Absolutely. With that being said, take some responsibility for your own mistakes. Otherwise, you’re going to keep looking like a bitter loser. All in all, it is what it is, Mrs. Clinton. It just is what it is.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s stockpiling supplies in preparation for Armageddon

What Are Everyone’s World War III Plans?

So, am I the only one who’s scared out here, son? Look, even though I’ve been talking about the possibility of World War III since last year, I’m still taken aback by recent events. At this point, I’ve been discussing the shenanigans in Syria for a few days now. With that being said, I’m not going to rehash all of my talking points. Shit, I have two different posts that cover that. However; based on recent statements from Russia and Iran, WWIII might truly be on the horizon, man. *Sigh* I just hope everyone has their canned goods on deck.

Now, keeping it a buck, today’s post will probably be short. I mean, I don’t know how much I can really say about this fuckery, man. Ultimately, thanks to the United States‘ recent attack on Syria, Russia and Iran have issued a warning. Apparently, both countries believe that the U.S. overstepped its boundaries. Moving on, this coalition of deplorables just asserted that they will “respond with force” if it happens again. Basically, these muhfuckas just threatened us for bombing on Bashar al-Assad and company.

All in all, people like Rex Tillerson thought the attack would cause Vladimir Putin to drop Assad as an ally. However; it only strengthened his resolve, man. Shit, this whole situation is about to go to Hell, son. Listen, these warmongers fail to realize that a conflict with Syria will never really just be a conflict with Syria. That country has support from other enemies of ours and that could cause this entire scenario to spiral out of control. Now, if anyone is keeping score, we could end up in battle with three different countries at once. Bruh, is any of this shit worth it?

In the end, I need to find a quality storm shed or something. This apartment building life ain’t gonna be cool when the nukes start flying, man. Stay tuned for the most fire basement recordings when armageddon pops off. I’ll be sure to keep my microphone and piano hooked up, son. LC out.

Sh*t Just Got Real In Syria!

So, I won’t lie, son. I have very conflicted emotions about last night’s Tomahawk missile attack on Syria. Now, on one hand, Bashar al-Assad needs to get the fuck outta Dodge. He’s been terrorizing his own people for far too long and it’s created a refugee crisis in both Europe and America. In addition, this same refugee crisis has had a profound impact on both our presidential election and Brexit. On the other hand, Donald Trump and his administration have been completely hypocritical in how they’ve handled this situation. With that being said, by attacking Syria, Trump has shown that he cares more about the gesture than the actual people.

Now, to be clear, I’m probably going to be reiterating a lot of shit I said in yesterday’s post. Look, I find it preposterous that Trump can block Syrian refugees in two different travel bans, warn Barack Obama against attacking Syria and then turn around and call for action. All I want to know is, where was all of this vitriol when Assad was killing his people before?

On the real, where was all of this fire when a little boy lost his entire family in Aleppo? Why did it take a chemical attack for our government to take these people’s pain seriously? Look, I’m sorry, man, but I’m not rolling with the idea that this administration suddenly gives a fuck. In the span of one week, Rex Tillerson went from saying that Assad would most likely stay in power to claiming that a coalition is now in place to remove him. Wow, the flip flop is fucking crazy, son.

Moving on, now that we’ve taken this action, how will Russia proceed? Listen, I haven’t forgotten about the congressional investigation, but this type of military strike could garner a response. Hell, Vladimir Putin has already condemned the move and the Kremlin proclaimed that the risk of collision between the two nations has “significantly increased.” Man, what the fuck does that mean? Are we really about to get into some shit with Russia too? Bruh, this could be the making of some real World War III shit. Are we really ready to go down this path? Shit, everybody seems to have nukes now, man. Ultimately, this entire situation could be catastrophic, son.

In the end, I don’t know what to make of all of this, fam. Assad needs to be removed, but the next step is so unknown. All in all, everyone needs to brace themselves. Some wild shit may be on the horizon, son. LC out.

The Muslim Ban: An Official Rebuke Of The First Amendment

*Sigh* No lie, I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate myself all weekend. We’re literally watching the destruction of America right before our very eyes. Now, if anyone wants to read our country’s First Amendment, they’ll notice that the first thing the bill guarantees is freedom of religion. With one stroke of his pen, Donald Trump has egregiously violated our Constitution. On the real, based on Trump’s first ten days in office, I’m thoroughly convinced we’re on the verge of both World War III and Civil War II.

At this point, if anyone reading this is unaware of Trump’s Muslim Ban executive order, then… Google, son. Like, being in the dark on this issue is unacceptable. Trump essentially banned the entry of citizens from Syria, Iran, Sudan, Libya, Somalia, Yemen and Iraq. This is part of the “extreme vetting” that Trump constantly spoke about during his campaign run. According to his logic, this is to protect us from potential terrorist attacks. However; if that’s really the case, why aren’t Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Egypt on this list? Last time I checked, terrorists from these countries have actually attacked us. Has anyone heard of a little event called 9/11?

Look, I’m not naive and I’m fully away of the fact that ISIS has footing in some of the countries listed in the ban. However; here’s something to consider: Islamic radicals are killing mass amounts of their own people in these countries! That’s why countless innocent families are trying to flee and seek solace. Even outside of these refugees, green card holders and valid visa carriers were also being detained at airports. That’s right, son. People who had the LEGAL RIGHT to enter our country were being held up at numerous airports across the nation. Needless to say, the American public has had enough of the fuck shit and have taken to the streets to protest.

Now, here’s where Trump’s hypocrisy takes center stage. He claims that the ban isn’t based on religion, but his executive order gives preference to Christian refugees. Good fucking Lord, man! We’re watching an administration vehemently lie to our faces and then pretend like we don’t see the bullshit. This entire episode is one of the most deplorable violations of democracy I’ve ever seen. Like, I’m having a very hard time putting all of this into words, man. Our rights are being trampled on for the entire world to see, son.

As a response, Iran has already made strides to block U.S. visitors. Does everyone see what’s happening here? We’re very rapidly entering into a zone that can have very dangerous ramifications. Thanks to Trump, we’re already on bad terms with NATO and the United Nations. If we stay on this trajectory, we could end up in a military conflict with no allies to back us. So far, we’ve pissed off Europe, our Hispanic neighbors to the South and our Canadian neighbors to the North. If we add public unrest to that equation, we truly have the ingredients for another World War AND another Civil War.

All in all, to all of my Muslim brothers and sisters out there: your religion is not a crime. Donald Trump does NOT speak for the people and we categorically condemn everything he stands for. All jokes aside, the revolution is now and everyone needs to decide what side they’re on. All I know is, these despicable acts of injustice CANNOT continue. LC out.

What In God’s Name Are ‘Alternative Facts’?

So, I would like to welcome everybody back to the Twilight Zone. This is a place where the newly sworn-in President of the United States makes his Press Secretary argue with the media about inauguration attendance. This is also a place where the President’s Senior Adviser gets on NATIONAL TELEVISION and speaks about “alternative facts.” Son, what fucking planet are we living on right now? Outside of the fact that Donald Trump’s administration is already spreading egregious falsehoods, we’re also witnessing something extremely dangerous. Trump is essentially trying to set up an America where no one can question his moves. Shit, our country is already starting to look like Communist Russia, man. Everyone needs to get ready.

First off, let’s start with Sean Spicer, son. Out of all of the things the new Press Secretary could’ve talked about in his first press conference, he decided to speak on inauguration numbers. Once the Trump administration got wind of the fact that the media was ACCURATELY reporting how many people showed up to the event, Trump’s goons went on the offensive. It’s now widely known that the crowd size for Trump’s inauguration paled in comparison to both of Barack Obama’s inaugurations. However; in the grand scheme of things, none of this actually matters, son. Trump is still the President, regardless of how many people came to Washington, D.C. to celebrate. With that being said, Trump STILL sent Spicer to the podium to argue about how many people came to the party. Spicer even said that Trump had “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period.” I mean, as we can clearly tell, facts don’t matter, son (word to Desus Nice). C’mon son, who’s got time for evidence and proof in the first place, right?

Next, let’s talk about Kellyanne Conway. In the wake of Spicer’s meltdown, the new Senior Adviser decided to plead her team’s case on Meet the Press with Chuck Todd. Now, when Todd confronted Conway about the tomfoolery of Spicer’s press conference, she gave one of the most confusing rebuttals I’ve ever heard in my entire life. While speaking about Spicer’s BLATANTLY inaccurate statements, Conway said that he was just presenting “alternative facts.” Alternative facts? What? What?! WHAT?!? Good fucking Lord, son! Is that what we’re doing now? Instead of just saying that someone lied, we’re saying that they’ve provided alternative facts? Shit, can that defense be used in court? If my wife caught me cheating, could I tell her that I was just helping the other woman verify if her birth control worked? I mean, those are alternative facts, right? What the fuck are we talking about here? How is this acceptable, man? We really have to deal with these exorbitant lies for the next four years? Who will survive in America, son?

Look, all jokes aside, we’re in a bad place right now. Trump’s administration is already setting the stage to eliminate all dissenting voices. They’re trying to regulate everyone’s narrative and attack anyone who dares to say something different. Even when individuals have FACTS on their side, Trump is using officials as a weapon to intimidate anyone who opposes him. I know there’s been a lot of talk about Trump’s relationship with Vladimir Putin, but controlling the media is ACTUALLY something that Putin does. Our country is already being turned into Mother Russia, son. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump somehow made it illegal to say anything against him. These are truly scary times, man. Scary times indeed.

In the end, I don’t know, son. I still can’t believe this is our reality, man. I’d like to thank the Swing States for destroying America. When World War III occurs and those folks are laying in a sea of rubble, I hope they know they probably won’t have any healthcare to help them out. Dumbasses. I’m gone.

Donald Trump Is Too Smart To Be Smart

I… I really don’t know where to start when it comes to Donald Trump’s stance on intelligence briefings. On the real, this may be a short post because I don’t know how much I can really say about this subject. We literally have a president-elect who is CHOOSING to be uninformed. Like, the best storytellers couldn’t make this shit up, son. Christopher Nolan couldn’t direct a better shitshow, man. Trump is absolutely in a class by himself when it comes to preposterous behavior. The man hasn’t even taken office yet and he’s already said no to living in the White House full time, which he later reneged on, and no to flying on Air Force One. Now, we can add “shunning daily intelligence briefings” to the latest episode of What In The Flying Fuck.

So, during an interview with Fox NewsChris Wallace, Trump was asked about why he isn’t taking his daily briefings. In a fit of “genius,” he told Wallace that he’s a “smart person” and doesn’t need to be told the same thing every day. With that being said, the future Leader of the Free World is choosing to be ignorant to the details that will affect his presidency. Being honest, I truly, truly don’t understand this man, son. If he doesn’t want to be President, then just say so, man. If he doesn’t want to deal with facts, then he can go back to reality television. The lives of countless people around the world are affected by the actions of the United States. If this idiot is being willfully blind to pertinent information, he’s going to endanger us all, son. Situations can still go wrong when all of the necessary players are in the know, so there’s no telling what could possibly happen when our “leader” is running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

In the end, I’m not even sure why I’m acting like I’m surprised, son. This man has been allergic to facts since the beginning. Hell, he’s even denying the truth that Russia played a role in our election, despite the fact that individuals from BOTH PARTIES are providing receipts. Look, when Shep Smith from Fox News has to call Trump out on his bullshit, it’s pretty clear this man has absolutely no idea what he’s doing out here. All jokes aside, if Trump isn’t impeached before his term is over, we’re probably going to end up in World War III. Yes, I know I’ve said that before, but I become more convinced of this with each passing day, man. LC out.

P.S. I’m well aware of the fact I haven’t even really spoken about all of the fuckity-fucktards Trump has added to his cabinet. In all honesty, I don’t even know where to begin, man. “Drain the swamp”? Naaaah, it’s more like “hey, let’s hire a bunch of my billionaire friends who don’t believe in religious rights, women’s rights, climate change or minimum wage.” We’re fucked as a country, son. Absolutely, positively fucked. No mas.