Donald Trump Is Too Smart To Be Smart

I… I really don’t know where to start when it comes to Donald Trump’s stance on intelligence briefings. On the real, this may be a short post because I don’t know how much I can really say about this subject. We literally have a president-elect who is CHOOSING to be uninformed. Like, the best storytellers couldn’t make this shit up, son. Christopher Nolan couldn’t direct a better shitshow, man. Trump is absolutely in a class by himself when it comes to preposterous behavior. The man hasn’t even taken office yet and he’s already said no to living in the White House full time, which he later reneged on, and no to flying on Air Force One. Now, we can add “shunning daily intelligence briefings” to the latest episode of What In The Flying Fuck.

So, during an interview with Fox NewsChris Wallace, Trump was asked about why he isn’t taking his daily briefings. In a fit of “genius,” he told Wallace that he’s a “smart person” and doesn’t need to be told the same thing every day. With that being said, the future Leader of the Free World is choosing to be ignorant to the details that will affect his presidency. Being honest, I truly, truly don’t understand this man, son. If he doesn’t want to be President, then just say so, man. If he doesn’t want to deal with facts, then he can go back to reality television. The lives of countless people around the world are affected by the actions of the United States. If this idiot is being willfully blind to pertinent information, he’s going to endanger us all, son. Situations can still go wrong when all of the necessary players are in the know, so there’s no telling what could possibly happen when our “leader” is running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

In the end, I’m not even sure why I’m acting like I’m surprised, son. This man has been allergic to facts since the beginning. Hell, he’s even denying the truth that Russia played a role in our election, despite the fact that individuals from BOTH PARTIES are providing receipts. Look, when Shep Smith from Fox News has to call Trump out on his bullshit, it’s pretty clear this man has absolutely no idea what he’s doing out here. All jokes aside, if Trump isn’t impeached before his term is over, we’re probably going to end up in World War III. Yes, I know I’ve said that before, but I become more convinced of this with each passing day, man. LC out.

P.S. I’m well aware of the fact I haven’t even really spoken about all of the fuckity-fucktards Trump has added to his cabinet. In all honesty, I don’t even know where to begin, man. “Drain the swamp”? Naaaah, it’s more like “hey, let’s hire a bunch of my billionaire friends who don’t believe in religious rights, women’s rights, climate change or minimum wage.” We’re fucked as a country, son. Absolutely, positively fucked. No mas.

Hey, Hillary, Just Blame Colin Powell

Honestly, I’m tired of talking about Hillary Clinton, son. I’m also tired of talking about Donald Trump and I’m tired of talking about this entire presidential election. Up until this point, this whole race has been nothing but high-grade, top shelf tomfoolery. Day after day, the shenanigans increase at alarming rates and it pains me to know one of these two people will most likely be our next president. With that being said, Hillary’s private email saga simply won’t die, man. Now entering the realm of stupidity is none other than Colin Powell. Apparently, he’s done the same foolishness Hillary’s now in trouble for. How splendid, son. How splendid indeed.

Now, here’s the thing I don’t understand about the Democrats strategy here: do they really believe dragging Powell into this is going to make Hillary look better? Look, son, if I kick a puppy in the face, I can’t bring up another person who kicked a puppy in the face as if that makes my action alright. The fact of the matter is Hillary was having inappropriate conversations on her private email server. Regardless of how all of her supporters try to spin this, just because Powell was talking to foreign leaders on his own private email server, that doesn’t justify Hillary’s email use.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but for those who missed it, back in 2009, Powell informed Hillary of the virtues of using a private email server. Apparently, during his tenure as Secretary of State, Powell used this method to essentially circumvent the government servers. Now, as we all know, the GOP has been trying to crucify Hillary for her email-related behavior. With that being said, the Democrats have released old conversations between Powell and Hillary in an attempt to reshape the narrative. However; I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid, son. Showing evidence of someone else’s wrongdoing doesn’t make everything okay. As far as I’m concerned, we should dig up BOTH of these fools’ past emails. Let’s see just how far down the rabbit hole the shit goes, man. No one should be safe, bro.

Honestly, I have nothing else to say. I hate our presidential candidates, man. All of them. They all suck, son. On the real, everyone needs to just pencil me in on their November ballot. At this point, I’m positive I can do a better job than these clowns. Well, then again, my temper might result in World War 3. Nah, I’ll be cool. I promise. Good day.

Don’t Give Trump The Nukes!

Ok, this has gone too far now. Over the course of Donald Trump‘s presidential campaign, he’s made a multitude of mind-numbingly idiotic comments. He’s made sooooo many ridiculous statements, there’s literally no way for me to document them all in a blog post. With that being said, up until this point, it’s all been under the guise of freedom of speech. In our wonderful country, we all have the right to utter just about any type of foolishness our hearts desire. However; when questionable intelligence is brought to the subject of nuclear weapons, we all need to be exceedingly afraid. So, I’m pleading with everyone in the entire United States: DON’T GIVE TRUMP THE DAMN NUCLEAR CODES!

Now, I’m not going to lie to anyone out there, man. When I heard Morning Joe Scarborough tell a story about Trump’s previous meeting with a foreign policy expert, I huddled in a corner crying from pure fear. Apparently, while this expert was giving Trump a crash course on international relations, Trump asked this individual on three different occasions why we couldn’t simply use our nuclear weapons. So, let me get this straight, son. Trump is receiving valuable knowledge about foreign policy and his FIRST reaction is to drop a nuke on someone? As in, take an action that hasn’t been taken anywhere in the world since the US did it to Japan twice in 1945? THAT’S his solution, son? Is anyone else out there freaking out about this, man?!

Look, just in case people are missing my point, let me explain myself a little more. It’s one thing to say wild things on the campaign trail. For God‘s sake, he’s a television “star.” He’s programmed to say and do things that’ll generate the most amount of attention. It’s something ENTIRELY different to be in a real meeting about issues that could potentially arise during a presidency and respond in such fashion. I’m actually not being facetious when I say this man might start World War 3 if he becomes president. I’m absolutely convinced that if he were elected, he would launch a nuke at some foreign country. In case people forgot, a presidential term is four years. FOUR years, man! If Trump is acting like this now, he will DEFINITELY press the button at some point during his presidency.

Listen, people, I know there are a variety of subjects that cause contention in this country, but this can’t be one of them. This man CANNOT become president. Forget race, gender, religious beliefs or whether you prefer Coke or Pepsi, this man is going to endanger us all. This isn’t a joke, son. This is Code Red, man! Code fucking Red! Now, for anyone who thinks this is a game, don’t call me for shelter when the left side of America has been blown off. I won’t help any naysayers during armageddon, bruh. Trust me, I’m already preparing for the worst. Good day, I hope…