Get Madonna The F*ck Outta Here!

Really, son? I mean, really, fam? Like, THAT was the best that MTV could do?! Aretha Franklin, The Queen of Soul, dies and THIS is the best tribute they could give her?! Man, I knew there was a reason my heart told me not to watch the Video Music Awards. All I can say is, after seeing Madonna‘s “homage” to Franklin, I want to beat up every staff member at MTV. Frankly, SOMEBODY needs to catch these hands for that travesty, bruh!

Ok, for those who missed it, the VMAs happened last night. Side note, why the fuck did they have an awards show on a Monday? Shit, after a hard day at work, I’m not trying to come home and watch a long-as-fuck show, son. Needless to say, the timing of this is MAJOR fuckery on MTV’s part. Anyway, since Franklin just passed, the network decided to give her a tribute. Now, out of all of the artists they could’ve possibly gotten for this event, who did MTV call? Madonna. Man, what? What?! Whoooo the fuck asked for that, fam? For starters, I can guarantee that NO ONE in the Black community did.

Now, as expected, Madonna’s tribute was simply tragic. First, she somehow made Franklin’s memorial about herself. Hell, instead of talking about the Queen, Madonna told a story about her early days as a struggling musician. Bruh, no one wanted a retrospective on Madonna’s career. Keeping it a buck, I don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck about her come up, son. This is about Aretha Franklin, brethren! Then, to make matters worse, Madonna decided to yodel “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” Listen, I don’t know what key signature Madonna thought she was singing in, but I definitely know it wasn’t the one from Franklin’s song, man.

In the end, EVERYONE should get slapped up for this tomfoolery, fam. Ultimately, the Queen deserved/deserves WAY better than this, bruh! By and by, I’m going to pretend like last night didn’t exist, son. At the end of the day, it’s better for our collective sanity, man. That is all. LC out.

Get Miley Cyrus The F*ck Outta Here!

Now, before I drag Miley Cyrus to Hell in an Uber, I want everyone to take a good look at the picture above. Yeah, the clown in that photo is the same Ronald McDonald who’s now criticizing Hip Hop. I mean, this chick can’t be serious, right? Shit, after all of her culture vulture behavior, she has some fucking nerve, son. The way I see it, Cyrus is just another example of White people using Black culture for their own benefit. With that being said, she can take her hypocrisy and go back to the set of Hannah Montana.

So, for anyone who missed it, Cyrus recently did an interview with Billboard magazine. Amongst a variety of topics, she decided to give her (unwarranted) two cents on Rap music. Apparently, she has decided to move away from the genre because there’s too much “come sit on my dick, suck on my cock” imagery in the lyrics. All in all, in her own words, she is “so not that.”

Ok, look, I will never be the guy to pretend like Hip Hop doesn’t love the debauchery. Hell, everyone knows how much of a Future fan I am, and his current hit song literally repeats “Molly, Percocet” in the chorus. With that being said, Miley Cyrus needs to have ALL of the seats ever constructed in human history. Shit, for someone criticizing an entire culture, SHE’S the one with a looooooong history of degrading and vulgar behavior.

Look, this is the same woman who was obsessed with twerking. This is the same woman who used Black women as props in her performances. This is the same woman who simulated fucking a foam finger at the Video Music Awards. This is the same woman who lit a joint onstage during the Europe Music Awards. This is the same woman who got Mike WiLL Made-It to executive produce her Bangerz album because she wanted an “urban” sound. This is the same woman who had her breasts out in damn near every outfit she wore. Now she’s fucking better than us? Man, if this chick doesn’t get the flying fuckity-fuck out of our faces! We can see right through her White Privilege. Clearly, Hip Hop was only cool when she could pillage it for monetary gain.

In the end, THIS is exactly why Black people are so testy with cultural appropriation. Vultures turn on us just as quickly as they try to emulate us. Shit, Justin Bieber really thought he was Black until he started running into the police. Side note, his Journals compilation album is fucking flawless, son. However; that’s a conversation for another day. In any case, it’s hard for us to trust an outsider’s motives when people like Cyrus pull shit like this. Ultimately, I pray that Miley disappears into the ether, never to be heard from again. LC out.