My Problem With Summer Walker’s Album

So, before I even begin, let me say that I’m digging Summer Walker‘s new album. I mean, despite the fact that I’m a rapper, I’m probably an R&B dude at heart, son. Shit, if my singing voice were just a little better, I’d leave all of this Rap shit behind, man. In any case, despite feeling her Over It album, I have a major gripe, fam: song length. All in all, why can’t Walker just make longer songs, bruh?

Ok, for those who are unaware, Summer Walker just released her debut studio album. Side bar, artists need to knock this bullshit off, son. Hell, Chance the Rapper also tried that “debut studio album” nonsense when he already has three full-length projects in his discography. All I know is, whether Walker wants to admit it or not, Last Day of Summer is her debut album, man. Anyway, her new project, Over It, is mostly produced by London on da Track, super producer/her current boyfriend. All in all, the album fucking rides, fam. Real talk, it has a lot of good shit on there.

With all of that being said, the length of most of these tracks kill me, bruh. Like, anytime I start really getting into the song, it fucking ends, son. For example, she has an extended version of “Playing Games” with Bryson Tiller on it. The truth is, that song, with the feature, is two minutes and 23 seconds. Where was the cotdamn extension, brethren? All I can say is, on an album that has 18 tracks, only five of them are longer than three minutes. Fam, that’s not nearly enough. The way I see it, when an artist makes music that’s designed to break headboards to, the songs need to be longer than two-and-a-half minutes, man. Frankly, folks wouldn’t even be able to get a good rhythm on the pumping before the tracks end, bruh.

In the end, that’s my only issue with the album, son. Other than that, Summer Walker and London on da Track made a dope ass project, man. Ultimately, even the features are well-placed, fam. By and by, she’s got Tiller, Usher6lackPartyNextDoorA Boogie wit da HoodieJhené Aiko and Drake to hold it down with her. Moving on, below are the songs from the album that I’m currently fucking with. Gotta love good music, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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Jacquees Gotta Chill, Son

So, I won’t lie, man. Real talk, I was really trying to avoid this Jacquees shit, fam. I mean, no one in their right mind needs to debate if he’s the “King of R&B.” Shit, it’s a no for all of us, dawg. However, after I saw the nonsense he pulled with Keith Sweat, it’s about time that Jacquees got checked, bruh. All in all, confidence is one thing, son. On the flip side, hubris is the shit that got Conor McGregor choked out, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it (or have no idea who Jacquees is), this dude has been running around talking cash shit, son. Now, it all started when homie hopped on social media and declared himself “King of R&B” for this generation. Needless to say, the internet let him have it, man. Like, just a couple of months ago, he was getting clipped by DJ Mustard and Ella Mai for jacking that “Trip” song. Now he’s the King? Fam. Just… fam. Come on, bruh. In any case, his tomfoolery caused the internet to crown the real Kings and the consensus seemed to be R. Kelly, Usher and Chris Brown. Side note, we all know that R. Kelly is gross, people. But, his discography does speak for itself. It’s just a damn shame that it had to come from him, brethren.

With all of that being said, I was STILL gonna let Jacquees slide, son. That was until he decided to disrespect the Gawd, Keith Sweat. Now, after TMZ asked Sweat if he was the King, Jacquees jumped from the top turnbuckle and rudely interrupted him. From there, he stated that he’s got everyone from ages 16 to 25 on lock and that Sweat is basically the King of the old heads. All I know is, the Harlem dude in Sweat wanted to slap fire out of Jacquees, man. Shit, I would’ve encouraged the hell out of that, fam. On the real, Jacquees needs to chill the fuck out, bruh.

Listen, like I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with confidence. Keeping it a buck, all artists need it in order to face the public. But, there’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance, son. Face it, Jacquees has accomplished nothing yet. Now, that doesn’t mean he won’t ever make it big, man. However, he hasn’t popped off anywhere near the level of the artists he’s disrespecting. Hell, forget the legends, fam. He hasn’t even done it on the level of his peers, bruh. Seriously, I don’t know anyone who can name 3 Jacquees songs. Look, I know that may sound like a diss, but it’s not, folks. I’m just making a point that he has a lot more work to do, brethren. All I can say is, the shenanigans aren’t helping his case, people.

In the end, Jacquees needs to fall back and just make music, son. Ultimately, if the songs are dope enough, they’ll hit the people, man. By and by, we don’t need R&B singers to start trolling, fam. At the end of the day, that type of behavior is corny, bruh. Knock it off, Jacquees. That is all. LC out.

Nah, Usher, We’re Good

So, before anyone out there thinks I’m hating, let me make one thing clear: I’m a big Usher fan, son. I mean, if we’re being real here, he has one of the strongest discographies in R&B history, man. Listen, any artist who goes from My Way to 8701 to Confessions should never be disrespected, fam. Hell, I even think Here I Stand is criminally underrated, bruh. Honestly, the title track alone is worth the price of admission, folks. With all of that being said, this new album ain’t it, people. All in all, Trap Usher needs to get the fuckity-fuck outta here, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Usher just dropped a surprise album on Friday. Moving on, not only did his “A” album come out of nowhere, but it also features only one producer: Zaytoven. Now, for anybody who’s unfamiliar with Zaytoven, let me explain it like this: pick any Gucci Mane or Future jam from the past 10 years and there’s a good chance that Zaytoven did it. Hell, he’s a staple in the Atlanta music scene, son. In any case, he solely handles the boards on Usher’s latest effort.

To be clear, my issue with this album is not Zaytoven’s production. Hell, the beats sound exactly the way I would expect them to, man. Real talk, my problem is Usher, fam. Listen, in 2018, I’m not trying to hear Trap Usher. I’m not trying to hear Strip Club Usher. I’m not trying to hear Turn Up Usher. Look, does everyone see where I’m going with this? On the real, Usher is too damn grown to be singing about childish subjects, bruh. Like, he’s a legend, people. He shouldn’t feel the need to chase trends. Keeping it a buck, that’s why his last few projects haven’t been hitting. He’s more concerned with keeping up with the times than simply being himself.

In the end, no thanks, Usher. Ultimately, the minute he gets back with Jermaine Dupri and Bryan-Michael Cox, I’ll be back onboard, son. Fam, did Usher hear Cox’s work on Ella Mai‘s “Dangerous?” *Sigh* That could’ve been an Usher joint, man. Anyway, the point is, I want Usher to sound like Usher, bruh. I don’t want him to sound like 6lack. Side note, I’m a 6lack fan, so don’t take that as a diss. Anyway, I’m not here for the “A” album. That’s all I have to say, folks. That is all. LC out.

Let’s Talk About Quantasia Sharpton

So, let me get straight to the point, son. On the real, I don’t give a fuck if Quantasia Sharpton is big, man. Look, I’d bet money that a lot of dudes with the worst jokes have the most questionable history with sexual partners. With that being said, who cares if Usher Raymond has an affinity for big girls. In any case, instead of judging Sharpton for her weight, we should be talking about the idea that she may be a liar, fam. All in all, parts of her story ain’t adding up, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, Sharpton is the first person to publicly sue Usher. She alleges that she met him at one of his concerts and had sex with him after the show. Anyway, despite the fact that she admits she doesn’t have herpes, she’s suing Usher for not disclosing his status. Shit, she even hired notable lawyer Lisa Bloom to make it real, son. Apparently, the shitshow has officially begun, man.

Moving on, this is where shit gets silly, fam. Outside of the fact that she doesn’t have herpes, her old Facebook and Twitter messages are starting to make noise. On Facebook, she recently claimed that she needed some money and then wrote “enjoying my last couple of hours as a regular girl.” Next thing we know, she’s holding a fucking press conference, bruh. To make matters worse, she’s previously accused August Alsina of fathering her child and even bragged about sleeping with Kirko Bangz. Man, this girl sounds like she’s just out here trying to finesse people, son.

Fam, what’s the real story here? Is this woman just looking for attention? I mean, if she’s lying, why would she even want this kind of energy around her? Frankly, she ain’t gonna get no money from fairy tales and all of her business is going to get exposed. From my vantage point, this looks like a stupid ass move, son. By and by, these five minutes of fame aren’t worth it, Quantasia.

In the end, Sharpton’s dress size is irrelevant, man. If a big girl isn’t a virgin, then that means someone is hitting it, son. Shit, let’s all grow up here, fam. The real story here is the potential lying that Sharpton may be doing. Ultimately, if she’s just trying to capitalize off of a bad situation, then she deserves to be dragged to the depths of social media hell, bruh. All I know is, this Usher shit just keeps on getting worse, folks. LC out.

These Are Usher’s Confessions…

Damn, Usher! Say it ain’t so, man! On the real, the streets are talking and the story ain’t cool, son. Now, I try to take all of these damaging rumors with a grain of salt, but it’s not looking good for Ursh out here, fam. All in all, if these court documents are true, then Usher is a foul dude, bruh. Basically, a woman claimed that he knowingly gave her herpes without informing her first. To make matters worse, he reportedly gave this lady $1 million to settle a lawsuit. Shit, man!

Now, before I continue, let me acknowledge some truths, son. Keeping it a buck, Sexually Transmitted Diseases aren’t new, man. I mean, A LOT of people are running around here burning, fam. With that being said, responsible adults need to be upfront about their status, bruh. Like, folks shouldn’t be out here bare bumping without first telling their partners the truth. That’s both dishonest AND incredibly dangerous, people! Frankly, this post is less about Usher and more about the fact that people need to be safe out here.

In any case, Usher’s tale is as follows: he was supposedly diagnosed with herpes in either 2009 or 2010. Despite that, he apparently kept raw dogging this woman. Even after a “greenish discharge” came out of his member, the woman claimed that Usher assured her that he was clean. From there, she developed vaginal sores, fevers and chills. After getting tested, her doctor informed her of her illness. Finally, after having his doctor confirm his status, Usher apparently paid for this woman’s medical bills.

Fam, that’s just a wild ass story, son. Real talk, I don’t even want to believe it. Not because I don’t think it’s possible, but because it’s so fucking reckless, man! Now, I’m a big Usher fan, but it’s NEVER cool to remain mum about an STD, bruh. Man, what part of the game is that? I mean, there’s a reason why states have made it a crime, fam.

Being real, if all of this hoopla is true, then he just permanently altered this woman’s life. Yeah, they both could’ve done more to protect themselves, but that doesn’t change the fact that he can’t just be silent about something this serious. Outside of the health concerns, her personal life could be irreparably damaged. When it comes to situations like this, if she wants to have a long term relationship, she’s going to have to divulge all of this information to a potential suitor. All I know is, that can’t be an easy pill for any future lover to swallow.

In the end, I’m turning this post into a public service announcement. Everyone reading this needs to go get tested. After that, everyone needs to keep it real with the person they’re sleeping with. Ain’t nobody got time for these type of surprises, son. Don’t confess to burning after the house has already burned down, man. Ultimately, if Usher really conducted himself in this manner, then he’s a fucked up individual. Plain and simple, fam. LC out.

Go Watch ‘The New Edition Story’!

All jokes aside, I can’t believe BET pulled this off, son. I mean, let’s be real, man. BET has been a joke for quite some time now. They have specialized in damn near every type of coonery imaginable. However; it looks like they’re trying to get back in Black people’s good graces by releasing good content. With that being said, this New Edition miniseries is awesome, son! Like, this project was really well made, man. So far, after being locked in for the first two nights of the three-night event, I must say, from the storyline to the casting, BET got The New Edition Story right. Ultimately, this series is a dope history lesson about a group of supremely crazy ass dudes who made timeless records. People need to get onboard ASAP, bruh.

First, let’s talk about the casting, son. Whoever assembled the guys to portray New Edition is a cotdamn genius, man. To begin, I don’t care what anyone says, the kid who plays the child version of Bobby Brown MUST be related to Bobby. Shit, Bobby has a gillion kids, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually his real son. Moving on, casting Hakeem Lyon, excuse me, Yazz the Greatest, excuse me, Bryshere Y. Gray as Michael Bivins is fucking brilliant, man. Their vocal inflections match perfectly. Seriously, if I’m not paying close enough attention, I really do believe Bivins is the one speaking. Lastly, Luke James is one of the few people with the vocal prowess to tackle Johnny Gill’s notes. Since these guys are actually singing the songs, they definitely needed a talented singer to handle all of Johnny’s Luther Vandross-esque vocal stylings.

Next, Bobby Brown is just good for television, son. Without a doubt, Bobby is one of the craziest dudes to ever become famous. Despite all of his talent, he couldn’t help himself when it comes to being a train wreck. He was already everyone’s crazy uncle by the time he was a teenager, bruh. He just always found himself in some bullshit, man. Keeping it a buck, I really do wonder how big Bobby could’ve been if he just remotely kept his act together. People act like he wasn’t the biggest R&B star on the planet when he was at his peak. People act like “On Our Own” isn’t a perfect fucking song. People act like Usher didn’t take a grip of his dance moves from Bobby. *Sigh* Even with the success he had, Bobby Brown still could’ve been a way bigger star. I guess we’ll never know, son.

Lastly, I think the film is doing a great job of displaying the group’s mentality. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that a lot of this stuff happened before any of them turned 25. Hell, most of this shit happened when they were still teens. Of COURSE they were making terrible decisions, man! How smart were any of us when we were 17? Does any know why the name of this blog is “I Can’t Be Famous?” It’s because I know damn well I’d act a complete fool if I had any kind of notoriety. Lord knows what I would’ve done if I was in their position at 17 or 18. Honestly, I can’t even fault them for the bad contracts. I mean, grown ass people are STILL signing awful deals today. Ultimately, a lawyer is everyone’s best friend.

In the end, go watch this series, son. Plain and simple. Part three comes on tonight and I’m sure BET is replaying the first two parts before that. While I’m still shocked I’m promoting anything related to BET, I do give credit where credit is due. They did great work here, man. Now, let me get back to playing “You’re Not My Kind of Girl” at ignorant levels. Good day.

Chris Brown: Allergic To Prosperity

Throughout history, there have been many examples of individuals who appear to be allergic to doing the right thing. Whether we’re talking about DMX, Bobby Brown or old school Robert Downey Jr., some people just seem impervious to prospering in life. I think it’s beyond safe to say Chris Brown is one of those individuals. Regardless of how many chances this dude gets, he always seems to find himself in some stew of fuckery. At this point, after his latest run-in with the law, I’ll be very surprised if he doesn’t find himself back in prison. However; this time, it might not be for a small stretch, son.

Ok, look, anyone with an internet connection should be aware of what’s happening with Brown right now. Yesterday, ol’ buddy was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon after Baylee Curran, a former beauty queen, accused him of pulling a gun on her in his home. According to her story, she was “admiring” some of his jewelry when Brown lost his cotdamn mind and pointed a weapon at her. Side note, I put “admiring” in quotes because it appears Curran isn’t new to stealing things and running off on the plug. As it stands now, the NYPD is looking to speak with her regarding a theft at The Plaza Hotel back in 2013.

In any case, after calling 911, the police arrived on the scene and attempted to search Brown’s home. When he demanded that the officers retrieve a search warrant before entering his house, a standoff ensued with the police waiting outside. To make matters even worse, Brown, apparently, threw a duffle bag out of his window, which reportedly had several weapons and drugs inside. On the real, this entire episode sounds like some shit that would happen in an HBO drama, son. I swear, it’s impossible to make this dude’s life up, man. He always finds himself in some type of high-level tomfoolery.

With all of that being said, I literally can’t understand what’s wrong with this dude, man. Even if it comes out this woman was trying to steal a chain or something, why is his first reaction to pull a gun on her? Why is he always showing large amounts of aggression towards women? Why on earth would he be in this kind of predicament with his daughter in the house? Why haven’t any of his handlers stopped him from being HIM yet? Good Lord, man, this guy continues to spiral out of control and no progress is being made. Hell, the man has already gone to prison for being an idiot, so what’s it going to take for him to realize he’s a detriment to himself and everyone else around him? He can’t keep claiming that people are trying to assassinate his character when he doesn’t alter his lifestyle in the slightest. If I spent my days doing drugs, hanging with bum-ass dudes and consorting with questionable women, then yeah, I might be in trouble a lot too. That goes for any of us, bruh.

All I know is, it doesn’t look good for this guy, son. He’s already got a felony on his record, and if he’s convicted of this latest offense, he’ll have yet another one. If this dude isn’t careful, he might completely ruin what’s left of his career. I mean, he’s already destroyed his destiny of being the next Usher, bruh. All in all, he’ll be lucky if he’s able to sing at all after this. Good day.