Francis Ngannou Is An Alien!

So, here’s a fun fact about me: I’m obsessed with Mixed Martial Arts. Like, I watch an exorbitant amount of MMA events, son. I mean, I watch the UFC and Bellator religiously, man. Hell, if someone told me that two dudes were having a Muay Thai fight on the block, I’d probably watch that shit too, fam. With that being said, I’ve already become a big fan of Francis Ngannou. Now, he may have only 12 fights under his belt, but at the rate he’s progressing, he may soon be the UFC Heavyweight champion. Shit, either that or he’ll kill somebody in the octagon, bruh. All in all, I’m down for any scenario, folks.

Ok, I was inspired to write about this dude because of the carnage he unleashed at UFC 218. Now, in case anybody missed it, this guy punched Alistair Overeem into an alternate dimension, son. Shit, just look at the embedded photo above, man. Listen, Overeem was put to sleep before he even hit the ground, fam! To make matters worse, Ngannou’s leg wasn’t even planted properly, meaning there’s no way he hit Overeem with full force. So, if he could mangle a man with only a portion of his strength, then what kind of Hulk shit is this dude really capable of, bruh?

In the end, there isn’t much else to say here, son. Ngannou is a monster and he’s about to get a crack at Stipe Miocic, the current Heavyweight champion. Ultimately, Miocic is a beast himself, but I don’t know if he has any answers for that Ngannou onslaught. All I know is, that fight can’t come soon enough, man. By and by, I’ll catch everyone at UFC 220, fam! The way I see it, there’s NO WAY the fight between Ngannou and Miocic goes to a decision. Real talk, someone might perish in that cage, bruh. In any case, let the mayhem begin! LC out.

Advertisements

Conor McGregor Won Without Winning

So, the fight actually happened, huh? Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor finally stopped talking and threw hands, huh? Anyway, as expected, Mayweather won, bruh. I mean, anybody who thought the outcome would be different is a damn fool, son. In any case, despite losing the fight, McGregor actually won the night, man. On the real, if we look at three specific factors, we’d all see that McGregor was the real victor on Saturday night. Now, before people start complaining, let me explain, fam.

First, let’s talk about the money, bruh. Keep in mind, this was McGregor’s FIRST professional boxing match. With that being said, not only did he luck up by getting a chance to fight a legend, but he also got a buttload of money in the process. Now, from the purse alone, he’s reportedly going to make about $30 million. In addition, he also has a promotional stake in the fight, which could net him another $100 million. Fam, did I mention that this was his FIRST PROFESSIONAL BOXING MATCH?! Man, this dude might really make nine figures from his first fight! That’s fucking insane, son!

Next, let’s talk about McGregor’s performance, son. Keeping it a buck, he gave Mayweather a little bit of static in those early rounds, man. Like, McGregor actually hit him with a couple of good shots, fam. Ultimately, it wasn’t enough to stop the inevitable, but the fight wasn’t as goofy as I thought it would be, bruh. For God‘s sake, he hit Mayweather with 111 punches, people! Shit, not even Manny Pacquiao touched Mayweather that many times, folks! Granted, he was running from Pacquiao the entire fight, but facts are facts, kid. Frankly, McGregor didn’t suck as much as I expected him to.

Lastly, let’s talk about the fact that McGregor went out on his feet. Ok, yes, the referee did stop the fight in the 10th round, but McGregor didn’t go down, son. I mean, by that point of the fight, Mayweather was slapping him at will, man. Like, he literally knocked snot out of McGregor’s nose, fam. Needless to say, shit was getting bad, bruh. In any case, McGregor still stayed on his feet. He took an undefeated fighter to the championship rounds and managed to lose standing up. Look, people can hate, but that’s a feat in and of itself, folks.

In the end, McGregor got the W by taking an L, man. All I know is, he shit-talked his way into a stupid amount of money, son. Real talk, if having a big mouth could get me that kind of pay day, then I need to up my game, fam. With that being said, Andre Ward‘s a pussy and I could knock him out by the second round. Is that enough for me to get a massive check? No? Ok, well, I’ll keep trying, bruh. LC out.

Floyd Mayweather Is Gonna Put Them Paws On Conor McGregor

So, to begin, I can’t believe that this fight is actually happening, son. Like, I’m truly baffled by the fact that Floyd Mayweather is really going to battle Conor McGregor. All I know is, McGregor’s team clearly doesn’t care about him, man. Dana White and the UFC clearly don’t care about him. Ultimately, Mayweather is going to beat the dog shit out of McGregor. All in all, Conor better enjoy that money because the ass-kicking is about to be so real.

Now, can we all keep it a buck for a second? Look, these two men are about to engage in a boxing match on August 26. So, this isn’t an MMA bout, fam. Meaning, McGregor is about to walk into the ring and try to beat a man that no other professional boxer has ever beaten. Bruh, that’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Side note, I’m not even a Mayweather fan, but facts are facts, son. Anyway, that logic is equivalent to Alex Rodriguez thinking he can beat Michael Jordan one-on-one. Sure, he’s a legendary baseball player, but what the fuck does that have to do with basketball, bruh? Ok, yes, Mayweather and McGregor are both fighters, but their respective sports are very, VERY different, man. It just is what it is.

Real talk, I’m just trying to figure out why anyone thought this fight was a good idea in the first place. Is it supposed to compare the validity of MMA verses boxing? Honestly, I don’t think that debate could ever be settled, man. Look, if Mayweather stepped inside the octagon, I feel like McGregor would mollywhop his ass. However; this event is taking place in a boxing ring. Meaning, this is Mayweather’s bread and butter, fam. On the real, there’s literally NO WAY McGregor can beat him in this realm.

In the end, I’m still going to watch the fight, son. I mean, I’m a sucker for the spectacle, man. In any case, McGregor better do A LOT more practicing, fam. Listen, I saw the sparring video that recently came out. By and by, if he lets Mayweather hit him like that, then he might not make it out of the second round, bruh. Anyway, I’m absolutely here for the tomfoolery, kid. Viva la nonsense! LC out.

Nooo, Ronda Rousey Wasn’t Ready!

So, at this point, Kevin Hart‘s “She Wasn’t Ready” bit is so ingrained in my head, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Ronda Rousey get the tomorrow knocked outta her by Amanda Nunes. Shiiiit, that’s gotta be it, right? I mean, Rousey’s career has gotta be over, right? This is now the second straight time her face got the piñata treatment, son. First, she got the business from Holly Holm, and now Nunes got her hits in. With that being said, I think it’s safe to say, happy trails, Ronda!

Now, keeping it a buck, there really isn’t much to write about this, man. I can’t turn a 48 second fight into a dissertation. Shit, as soon as the rumble started, it ended, son. Nunes came out of gate looking for blood and Rousey had absolutely no answers. I do, however, have a question for Rousey’s coach. Rousey built her career on grappling moves and submissions. Why the fuck is she being advised to box her opponents? I would’ve assumed that the ass whooping she took from Holm would’ve been enough for her team to realize boxing is a bad fucking idea. Instead, Rousey tried to put her dukes up against Nunes and got beaten like a rented mule, man. All I can say is, her team set her up for failure. Pure failure.

Ok, so, the last point I want to make is in regards to some fuck shit Rousey’s mother said. After her daughter got her ass kicked, again, AnnMaria De Mars expressed her desire to see Rousey retire. Now, that’s not the bad part. In all honesty, that would probably be the best move for Rousey. Things got weird when De Mars said “I told her that at the beginning of this thing that [she’s] smart and beautiful, let the stupid people get punched in the face.”

Wait, huh? Naaaah, son. De Mars hasn’t earned the right to have that attitude, man. As far as we’re all concerned, her daughter is the only stupid person getting punched in the face. As we’ve seen in her last two fights, her opponents actually punch her in the face quite often, son. Maybe her daughter is the dumbest of them all because she keeps getting in the Octagon to have her shit pushed in. Someone tell De Mars to go sit her ass down somewhere. Oh, and maybe she should take her daughter with her. She clearly isn’t making it in this MMA world, man. The only fighter who can take repeated head shots and still come out on top is Rocky Balboa. And did I mention, he isn’t real!

In the end, I won’t front like that Rousey-Nunes fight wasn’t entertaining, son. Shit is bad when the entire fight can fit in an Instagram video. All I know is, the only MMA fighter who’s really worth the hype is Jon Jones. I just wish that fool would stop doing dumb shit outside of the ring. Good day.