Floyd Mayweather Better Stay Far Away From MMA

So, let’s be real, son. I mean, Floyd Mayweather is probably trolling us, man. Shit, if nothing else, he’s a master at keeping his name in the spotlight. In any case, I highly, HIGHLY doubt that Mayweather is entertaining an MMA fight. Why? Because he’d get fucking murdered, fam! Listen, as much as I box, I’m also aware of the skill set needed for a mixed martial arts match. With that being said, someone stop Floyd before he gets choked to death.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather seems to be up to something. Just yesterday, he posted a cryptic video on Twitter and Instagram. In it, we can see him walking into an MMA cage, moving around like he’s getting acclimated to the scenery. Now, this is notable for a couple of reasons. First, if he were really entertaining an MMA match, he could make a MASSIVE amount of money. This is especially true if it were against Conor McGregor. Second, him and Dana White previously squashed the idea of him fighting in the UFC. So, this would be a complete about-face. All in all, I’m not exactly sure what Mayweather is trying to say here, if anything, bruh.

Look, it’s no secret that I’m an avid MMA fan, son. Anyway, while I spend a lot of time boxing now, I spent years doing Taekwondo as a kid. Meaning, I know what it’s like to get kicked in the face. Does Floyd? Because that’s EXACTLY the type of shit that will happen in an MMA fight, man. Listen, Mayweather’s boxing pedigree can’t be questioned, but is he ready for all of the other disciplines? Has he grappled before? Does he know what it’s like to get kicked repeatedly on the legs? Shit, if Floyd walks into an octagon, he’s going to get fucking mangled, fam! All I know is, he better get A LOT of practice in before he gets assassinated for money, bruh.

In the end, I don’t even know why I fell for Mayweather’s trap, son. Ultimately, this video probably means nothing and he’s just fucking with us. By and by, I hope that’s the case, man. At the end of the day, if he steps onto the mat against McGregor, then Conor is probably going to head kick the fuck out of Mayweather. Then again, maybe that’s EXACTLY what I want to see, fam. Hey, Dana, make this shit happen, bruh! That is all. LC out.


Donald Trump Ain’t Help Black Unemployment

*Sigh* Fuckery like this is why I box, son. I mean, it’s much better for me to hit a heavy bag than hit a stupid person, man. On the real, it’s truly frustrating to watch Donald Trump and company just mangle information, fam. Like, Trump invented the phrase “fake news,” but literally EVERYTHING that comes out of his mouth is a GROSS inaccuracy. Case in point, his take on the unemployment numbers of Black Americans. All in all, if anyone actually believes that Trump is responsible for our progress, then they’re more fraudulent than Melania Trump‘s work visa.

Ok, for those who missed it, Trump is engaged in a feud with Jay-Z. Now, Hov recently did an interview with Van Jones on CNN. This was part of Jones’s new show, the Van Jones Show. In any case, while speaking about a variety of topics, Trump’s name came up. As expected, Jay criticized 45 for his consistent nonsense. Furthermore, during a convo about unemployment, Hov said that “money doesn’t equate to happiness” and that the President fails to treat people like human beings. With all of that being said, Trump reacted as expected and let the guns go on Twitter. In a response to Jay, Trump claimed that Black unemployment is at an all-time low and we should all be thanking him.

Now, is Trump correct? Is Black unemployment at an all-time low? Well, at 6.8%, Black unemployment is the lowest it’s been in nearly five decades. Anyway, does Trump deserve credit for that? FUCK NO, SON! Good fucking Lord, is the GOP going to keep pretending like Barack Obama didn’t exist? Look, back in 2010, Black unemployment was at 16.8%. Over the next seven years, the rate consistently declined. As a matter of fact, by the time Trump entered the White House, the rate was already down to 7.8%. Meaning, during Obama’s presidency, the percentage went down by 9 points. So, Trump had literally NOTHING to do with the downward trend, man! Real talk, he doesn’t get to claim Obama’s progress, fam! Fuck ALL of that, bruh!

In the end, I have nothing else to say, son. Ultimately, I’m just tired of all of the political bullshit, man. Keeping it a buck, the only reason shit like this bothers me is because there are hoards of people who don’t know any better. Frankly, they just take anything Trump says as gospel. By and by, change will never be made in this country because truth is no longer a real concept. At the end of the day, it’s all about who can spin their story better. *Sigh* Sometimes, I just hate everything and everyone, fam. That is all. LC out.

These Sex Dolls Are Out Of Control!

So, what the fuck is going on, son? Like, is this what we’re really doing, man? Look, are folks trying to tell me that dudes are giving up on real women, fam? Listen, all I want to know is, when did sex dolls become the wave, bruh? I mean, variations of them have been around for eons. All in all, what’s going on in society and technology that this has become such a trend? All I can say is, we’re living in some strange ass times, people.

Ok, I was inspired to write this because of social media. Basically, over the last few weeks, I’ve been seeing more and more posts about a new brand of sex dolls for men. Listen, shit started getting real when a doll named Shakira started making rounds on the internet. Side note, I would normally put hyperlinks to articles on my site, but I ain’t tryna get caught out there dispensing porn, son. Then again, is it porn if it’s a doll? See, I don’t know what the fuck is happening out here, man! In any case, Shakira became notable because of how “she’s” shaped. Essentially, she has a big ass and big ass titties and dudes are losing their fucking minds over it.

Moving on, more and more pictures of dolls have been invading my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter timelines, fam. Wait, what kinda pervs am I following, bruh? Seriously, why is my IG Explore Page filled with this shit, folks? Hmm, I may need to reevaluate who I associate with. Anyway, these dolls are making news because they’re all shaped like chicks who dance in Magic City and King of Diamonds. So, is that all men need, son? Anything that looks like a fat ass? It doesn’t even need to be human ass? *Sigh* I’m fucking LOST out here, man!

Listen, even if we take away the companionship of a real woman, these dolls are going to have obvious deficiencies, fam. Like, can Shakira throw that ass back? Can Shakira ride? Can Shakira give that oral yahmean? Hell nah, bruh! On the real, if they could do all of that, then we’d need to worry about the rise of Skynet, folks. In that reality, sex would be the least of our worries. Coming back, dudes are really trying to fuck a balloon that’s shaped like a stripper? Sheesh, I don’t even know what to say, son. Times like these really give credence to the phrase “truth is stranger than fiction.”

In the end, shit like this is why I’m happy to be married, man. Keeping it a buck, these dating apps already seemed like a daunting enough task for me. Now, guys out here aren’t even trying to entertain talking to women. Ultimately, people say “don’t kink shame,” but fuck that, fam! I’m ABSOLUTELY judging any man who actually buys one of these things! By and by, instead of buying a doll called Shakira, go find a real Shakira and see if she’s down for the getdown. At the end of the day, I’m 100% positive it’ll be more fun that way, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Who The F*ck Is Eating Tide Pods?!

Real talk, why are teenagers so damn dumb, son? Like, I did A TON of idiotic shit as a teen, but I swear, this new breed is on some other shit, man. On the real, why would ANYONE think it was a good idea to eat a Tide Pod? Fam, those things are literally designed to scrub dirt off of clothes. Does that sound like some shit that would do good things to intestines? *Sigh* All I know is, teens shouldn’t be ending up in the hospital for something so ridiculous.

Ok, for those who missed it, teenagers have found a new way to be nonsensical. Apparently, teens have been posting videos of themselves biting into laundry pods all over social media. As expected, these misguided kids have been coughing, foaming at the mouth and even getting poisoned, in a few cases. As a matter of fact, according to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, 39 poisoning calls have already been placed in the new year. Keep in mind, we’re only 18 days into 2018, bruh.

Listen, I may be a grown ass man now, but I wasn’t a teenager that long ago, son. Back then, all I worried about was hollering at chicks and drinking brown liquor. Shit, that was risky enough, man. Where the hell does detergent come into the equation, fam? Good Lord, there are MILLIONS of ways to have fun that don’t involve possible death, bruh. These young muhfuckas need to find a sport or find a real hobby, folks. I mean, I’m pretty sure video games still exist, people.

In the end, teenagers need to cut the bullshit, son. Ultimately, there isn’t a noble way to write “he died from eating a Tide Pod” in an obituary, man. By and by, all of these “challenges” need to stop too. Well, unless it’s something like a “Parallel Park Without Hitting The Car Behind You” challenge. Hell, I know all of these kids would fail that shit, fam. LC out.

Did Joe Budden Really Leave ‘Everyday Struggle’?

So, as a longtime Joe Budden fan, I can’t say that I’m surprised, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, I’m shocked that his tenure on Everyday Struggle lasted this long, man. In any case, what is the show going to do without him, fam? Shit, he was basically the reason why anyone paid attention to Complex‘s show, bruh. All I know is, I’m going to miss his various kerfuffles and beefs with artists all around the industry.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Budden decided to leave the show he co-founded. Now, I’m not sure about all of the details (because I haven’t listened to the latest Joe Budden Podcast episode yet), but it appears that it all came down to money, son. Apparently, Budden and Complex couldn’t reach an agreement and Joey chose to walk. All in all, fans of the show knew something was up because Budden missed a couple of episodes in a row.

Now, during his absence, Complex tried to play it off like Budden was missing shows because of his newborn child with Cyn Santana. However; Joey took to Twitter and quickly refuted those claims, saying that he “knows [his] worth” and that “internal chaos” was responsible. All I can say is, Everyday Struggle is going to struggle everyday without Budden. Side bar, does everyone see what I did there? Man, I really make myself laugh, fam.

Anyway, Joe had ALL of the hot takes on the show and HE’S the one who kept eyes on the program. Look, how many artists did he piss off in the process, bruh? Shit, Migos and Lil Yachty JUST released a diss track because of Joey’s comments. I guess after all of their bickering, they thought this was the best way to get back at Joe. Listen, for someone who’s supposed to be “irrelevant,” he sure has a lot of people talking, son. On the real, irrelevant folks don’t cause this much traffic, man. It just is what it is, fam.

In the end, this probably won’t have much of an impact on Budden. Ultimately, I think Complex is taking an L with this move, bruh. By and by, I don’t think the show is going to end, but it damn sure won’t be as entertaining, son. At the end of the day, people like me will still be around whenever Joe decides to resurface with a new endeavor. In addition, the Joe Budden Podcast is still moving in these streets, so I’m sure he’ll be fine, man. Keeping it a buck, I’m just here for the fuckery, fam. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck Is Happening In Libya?!

Man, what the fuck is going on right now, son?! Like, my eyes and ears MUST be deceiving me, fam! Look, there can’t be any possible way that slavery still exists, right? Right?! Listen, at this point, I’m not going to pretend like I know all of the particulars about this issue. However; all I know is, Africans are being sold in Libya right now. Yes, that’s right, bruh. In 2017, refugees and migrants are being sold, people. All in all, I don’t even know what to say or do, folks.

Ok, like I said in the first paragraph, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m some expert on the subject. I’ve read a bunch of articles about what’s going on and I can’t make heads or tails of it, son. Now, from what I’ve seen, a number of people trace the problem to Muammar Gaddafi, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Basically, as the theory goes, by taking Gaddafi out of power, it caused a vacuum that led to the rise of human trafficking. Keeping it a buck, this idea makes sense, but I’m not going to act like I have an innate knowledge of the climate over there.

Moving on, due to issues like war and poverty, a lot of refugees are leaving countries like Nigeria, Sudan and Senegal. For them, the goal is to make it to Europe and seek a better life. However; instead of freedom, they’re being captured and sold to the lowest bidder. Like, some people are being sold for as low as $400, son! Shit, I can’t even make this shit up, man! It’s literally some of the wildest shit I’ve ever heard, fam! I truly, truly, truly can’t believe this is all real, bruh!

Now, for one second, I want to turn my attention to Donald Trump. Look, this dude still doesn’t understand that his words have weight in the real world. Listen, his Twitter jabs aren’t some game that can just be ignored, son. On the real, they have actual implications, man. Ok, we all know about his crusade against the media. Just the other day, he went on a tirade about CNN International. Per usual, he called them “fake news” and a bunch of other random shit.

Fast forward to today, some Libyan news outlets are using Trump’s words to dispute CNN’s reporting of the slave trade in Libya. That’s fucking dangerous, fam! My God, this isn’t a joke, bruh! This clown’s words are having a DIRECT influence on how a country is reporting about MASSIVE human rights violations! I… I just don’t know what to say, bruh. My mind literally can’t comprehend what’s happening in our world today. My sense of understanding has been completely shot, folks.

In the end, what do we do about this? Seriously, what can we do to put an end to this travesty? Real talk, if anyone has insight on how we can help, please let us know. Ultimately, there’s no way this shit can continue to occur, son. NO human being deserves this shit, man! Plain and simple. By and by, the time for this to end is NOW, fam. That is all. LC out.

LeVar Burton Is NOT LaVar Ball!

So, I’m going to be honest, son. A lot of times, I don’t know who’s stupider, man: Donald Trump or his supporters. Like, I’ve never seen a group of people more allergic to facts and information, fam. With that being said, this LaVar Ball situation ranks high on the fuckery scale, bruh. Keeping it a buck, it’s not even because of the feud between Ball and Trump. All in all, I need to eviscerate these fucktards for confusing Ball and the legendary LeVar Burton.

Ok, for those who’ve had better things to do, let me recap this entire fiasco. First, things began when LiAngelo Ball and company stole some shit in China. Now, there’s no need to revisit that entire story because I’ve already wrote about it, son. Next, Trump tweeted some shit about getting the UCLA players released. From there, the teammates were allowed to leave the country and Trump came looking for credit. LaVar basically gave 45 the middle finger and they’ve been at a war of words ever since. Side bar, the fucking President is arguing with a basketball dad on Twitter. Just let that sink in, folks.

In any case, since they never want to be left out of the tomfoolery, Trump supporters decided to come to their hero’s aid. Now, here’s where the problems arise, man: they set their crosshairs on the wrong individual! Essentially, over the last few days, they’ve been attacking LeVar Burton on social media. Look, Burton ain’t got shit to do with this, fam! This dude gave us Roots, Reading Rainbow and Star Trek: The Next Generation! Have some fucking respect, people! Shit, I swear I’ve NEVER seen a dumber group of carpetbaggers in my whole life, bruh! They just don’t give a flying fuck about verifiable knowledge, son!

In the end, I don’t even know why I’m surprised, man. Intelligence is simply NOT the calling card of these folks, fam. Ultimately, we need to protect LeVar Burton at all costs, bruh. On the real, that man has dropped too many gems to be disrespected in this manner. By and by, viva la Kunta Kinte! LC out.