Ay, Joe Budden, Cyn Santana Bounced, Bruh

So, let me be real, son. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I know what’s going on with Joe Budden and Cyn Santana. All I can say is, Budden seems to be a little confused about his relationship status. Well, I’d like to clear it up for him. *Ahem* She bounced, bruh. Look, anytime a woman moves all of her shit out of the crib, she’s probably serious, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, the engagement between Budden and Santana is seemingly off. Now, there were rumors circulating around that the two were having pre-marital issues. But, I generally don’t pay attention to what gossip blogs have to say. Furthermore, I don’t pay attention to a woman’s shady comments on social media. Shit, I’ve been in a situation where a chick was throwing darts at me online and we were still very much together. In any case, my ears didn’t perk up until Budden responded to the rumors at a live episode of The Joe Budden Podcast.

Now, while speaking to his audience, Budden asked if a relationship can be over if neither person verbally said it was over. In addition, he stated that he hasn’t talked to Santana in weeks and that she moved her shit out. Side note, uh, don’t they have a kid together? So, wouldn’t her moving out also include their son? Yeah, I’m going to need Budden to move with a greater sense of urgency, fam. In any case, while Budden was pontificating about a wordless breakup, Santana was telling people on Twitter than actions speak louder than words.

Look, let me be perfectly clear here, bruh. If Santana left the crib, took their son AND stopped speaking to him, then yeah, that’s a breakup, son. Now, does that mean they can’t work it out? Of course not. However, if Budden is missing all of these telltale signs, then he might have no hope of getting his woman back, man. Keeping it a buck, I have no idea what they’re beefing about. But, he can’t be walking around this clueless, fam. Ay, Joey, go call her, brethren.

In the end, relationships can be a motherfucker, son. Hell, I’ve been in a relationship with the same woman for eleven years now, man. With that being said, I’m an expert in the vernacular of “when a woman’s fed up.” Ultimately, Budden needs to wake the fuck up if he wants to save his union. That is all. LC out.

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Don’t Ruin ‘Avengers: Endgame’ For Me!

So, I played myself, son. Like, I waited too long to get Avengers: Endgame tickets, man. In any case, I have to wait until next week to get my IMAX 3D experience, fam. With that being said, I’d like to address all of my compatriots who are blessed to see the movie this weekend. From the bottom of my heart, DON’T RUIN THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME, BRUH!

On the real, I don’t have much to say, son. Frankly, I just know how social media works, man. Hell, most of the time, folks can’t WAIT to jump on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to spoil shit. Keeping it a buck, just by writing this post, I bet a couple of dummies are going to try and fuck shit up for me. However, I’m imploring everyone to not be a dick, fam. Please allow me to cry from joy in my own time, bruh.

In the end, that’s all I’ve got, son. Ultimately, waiting a week to see this movie is making me siiiiiiick, man. By and by, I need Thanos in my life, fam. At the end of the day, I’m probably going to have to quit social media until next week, bruh. That’s probably the only way for me to be safe. Well, besides my friends who have my number. But, in that case, I can just assault them. Yeah, that sounds about right. That is all. LC out.

Conor McGregor Isn’t Retiring

So, I won’t lie, son. I haven’t blogged in a little while because I burned myself out, man. I mean, after all of the work that went into putting out an album, I felt drained, fam. Side note, everybody should go listen to my The Charlemagne Renaissance album right now. Like, right now, bruh! It’s on Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal and whatever streaming service the homies created in their basement. In any case, I’m back today to call Conor McGregor’s bluff. All in all, I don’t believe he’s retiring for one second, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, McGregor hit Twitter to announce his retirement from MMA. Apparently, thanks to all of that Floyd Mayweather and Proper No. 12 whiskey money, he doesn’t feel the need to fight again. Now, in theory, he’s right. Sh*t, during the course of his career, he’s sold countless PPV’s and has had countless highlights. For God’s sake, he’s responsible for 5 of the top 6 UFC PPV buys, son. Frankly, he couldn’t possibly become any bigger of a star, man. So, what’s left for him to do, fam?

With all of that being said, I’m still calling shenanigans, bruh. Listen, McGregor is a competitor, son. Ok, yes, he’s also a businessman, but he made it this far by being a warrior. The way I see it, he won’t call it a career until he fights both Khabib Nurmagomedov and Nate Diaz again. Look, based on pride alone, I don’t see him riding off into the sunset knowing that he couldn’t beat Khabib. I’d bet money that McGregor thinks he can take him in a rematch. I mean, he’s wrong, but I guarantee he’s going to try again, man. On top of that, the series with Diaz is tied 1-1. McGregor knows that this rivalry needs a definitive winner, fam.

In the end, all will be answered, bruh. Ultimately, McGregor may have some people fooled, but I’m not one of them, son. By and by, give him like 6 months, man. He’ll find a reason to get back into that Octagon, fam. At the end of the day, I’ll still be there to watch it. All I know is, he’d have much better luck against Diaz than Khabib. Keeping it a buck, McGregor can’t beat that monster from Dagestan, people. It just is what it is, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Will Anybody Learn From 6ix9ine’s Situation?

So, here we are, son? After all of the trolling and nonstop shenanigans, the shit has finally hit the fan, man. Now, let me be clear, fam. I would never wish this situation on anybody, bruh. Yeah, I’ve been critical of 6ix9ine in the past. All I can say is, I stand by everything I’ve said, brethren. However, there was no reason for his story to go so left, folks. All in all, 6ix9ine’s ordeal needs to be a wake-up call for the young ones out here. Frankly, street shit ain’t nothing to fuck with, people.

Ok, for those living under a rock, Daniel Hernandez, b.k.a. Tekashi 6ix9ine, is in a world of manure. Now, after being picked up by the Feds for all sorts of crimes, 6ix9ine decided to plead guilty. Moving on, in addition to copping to 9 felony charges, he’s also agreed to cooperate with authorities. Meaning, 6ix9ine is about to start telling on all of his Nine Trey brothers. Apparently, he’s already admitted to helping the crew shoot at people, rob people and move drugs.

Listen, I don’t want to seem preachy, but social media championed this nonsense, son. On the real, any time an OG tried to tell 6ix9ine to chill, they were called “haters” or “old” or whatever else, man. Any time someone advised him against his behavior, internet losers said he was “winning” because of his antics. Well, does this look like winning now? I mean, was all of the tomfoolery worth it? Shit, due to his potential cooperation, 6ix9ine might end up in the Witness Protection Program. So, tell me again how he’s “winning,” fam.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I hope all of these young cats learn something from this. By and by, there are certain elements that aren’t for play play, son. The streets are definitely one of those elements, man. At the end of the day, I’m certain that 6ix9ine would do all of this differently, man. Sad part is, he’ll most likely never get the chance, fam. *Sigh* C’est la vie, brethren. C’est la vie. LC out.

A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Be A Hypocrite About Kevin Hart

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, this post is going to piss some Black people off, man. But, the hypocrisy needs to stop, fam. Like, we can’t pick and choose what to be outraged over, bruh. The way I see it, a number of people are looking at this Kevin Hart situation the wrong way. All in all, everyone is allowed to grow and mature, brethren. However, everybody should also be held accountable for the shit that they say and do.

Ok, for those who missed it, Hart recently stepped down from hosting next year’s Academy Awards. Now, before I continue, let me say that I believe Hart should be allowed to host the Oscars. I mean, let’s be honest, son, he’s not the first celebrity to do something fuckerous. Shit, Woody Allen seems to be at the ceremony every fucking year, man. In any case, Hart felt the need to backdown after some of his old tweets popped up. Apparently, some years back, Hart let the jokes fly at the expense of gay people. Needless to say, folks weren’t happy about it, fam.

Now, here’s where my issue with Black people comes in. Look, let’s keep it a buck, bruh. If the internet found out that Amy Schumer was making a bunch of “nigger” jokes 10 years ago, no one would let her live, son. And rightfully so, man. On the real, in a situation like that, Black people wouldn’t accept her “I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m a better person now” apology. Frankly, we wouldn’t believe her. So, if we wouldn’t be cool in that scenario, why should gay people be cool with Hart right now? To put it bluntly, we can’t excuse a dude for saying “fag” if we would roast someone else for saying “nigger.” A slur is a slur is a slur, fam.

With that being said, Nick Cannon‘s defense of Hart doesn’t hold a lot of water, bruh. Ok, yeah, he found evidence of White celebrities also using gay slurs. All I can say is, they should be held accountable too. In the future, if Schumer or Sarah Silverman are pegged to host an awards show, let’s bring these tweets back to life. In that hypothetical circumstance, they should have to step down as well. However, that doesn’t pardon Hart, son. Like, what do we want, man? Do we want to be right, or do we want to be able to get away with the same wrong shit as White people? In all seriousness, that’s the only question that Cannon seems to be asking, fam. Regardless of how folks feel, Hart was wrong for the shit that he said, bruh.

In the end, Black people have to stop being selective with our outrage, son. Ultimately, I think that Hart should still be allowed to host the Oscars. But, we need to stop downplaying what he said. By and by, gay slurs aren’t cool, man. At the end of the day, if we wouldn’t be okay with racial slurs, then we shouldn’t be okay with gay slurs, fam. All I know is, prejudice is prejudice, regardless of who it’s aimed at, bruh. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I need Kevin Hart to stop talking about other people’s “negative energy.” Real talk, anytime he gets caught doing some dumb shit, he always blames the “negative energy” of other individuals. Look, “negative energy” ain’t cause him to cheat on both of his wives. “Negative energy” ain’t cause him to freely use homophobic language. Nah, bruh, Hart just needs to own up to his shit, son. Hell, we all fuck up, man. Just eat that shit and move on, fam. Good day.

Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.