Dudes Need To Chill, If I D’ussé So Myself

*Sigh* Another day, another dude accused of some tomfoolery against women. Like, at this point, I’m running out of things to say on these issues, son. I mean, I’ve literally never understood why it’s so hard for some men to comprehend consent. For God‘s sake, there are so many women who are down for the get-down. There’s NO need to force any action with anyone. With all of that being said, ChriStylezz from D’ussé Palooza is the latest guy to be held to the fire.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Christopher Samuels, better known as ChriStylezz, is in some shit. Now, as one of the (former) hosts for D’ussé Palooza, Samuels was popular on the party scene. Shit, as a native New Yorker, I’ve been down with Palooza since it was Henny Palooza. Real talk, I’ve watched the brand grow from house parties in the city to Jay-Z partnerships and events at the Barclays Center. Needless to say, I was disheartened to hear the stories that some women had to say about Samuels.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’m an expert on this situation. However, multiple women have told similar stories about Samuels. Apparently, he’s notorious for pressuring women into having sex with him and he’s admittedly disrespectful during the process. Hell, homie even got on his own Instagram page to speak about “being an asshole.” Oddly enough, he also implored women to “bring [him] to justice” if he ever raped them. All in all, I don’t even think it’s a question of “if” he did something wrong. Clearly, even HE feels like his behavior was suspect.

To make matters worse, my homegirl showed me another post from a woman who’s making claims against Kameron McCullough, the founder of D’ussé Palooza. In addition, I’ve seen yet ANOTHER story about questionable actions by BlogXilla from Global Grind. Now, I can’t definitively say that these situations happened. So, I have to throw the word “allegedly” in there. But, nothing would surprise me because this type of behavior is frighteningly commonplace. All I can say is, I’m genuinely sad for the victims and perplexed that these incidents still occur.

In the end, I’m tired of having this conversation, man. Ultimately, I’m tired of women being taken advantage of. Fam, in one Twitter post, Samuels actually asked if it’s wrong to ask a woman for sex to give her a job. Even worse, half of the people who responded didn’t see an issue with this. *Sigh* All I know is, I’m running out of way to this say, bruh. Listen, men, consent is consent is consent. There’s no need to pressure a woman, there’s no need to threaten a woman and there’s no need to trick a woman. At the end of the day, just find someone who wants the same thing. It’s fucking simple, people. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Believe Jay Electronica

So, let’s just skip the formalities and get straight to the point, son. Real talk, I don’t believe Jay Electronica for one second, man. Listen, I’ve been fooled by his shenanigans before, fam. I mean, this guy has been promising an album since before my oldest son was born, bruh. Keep in mind, my kid was born in 2010. All I know is, until I can actually stream/buy his album, I refuse to believe anything this guy says.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jay Electronica is trying to galvanize the Rap community again. Now, just last week, he hit up Twitter and Instagram to say that his “album [is] done.” Apparently, over a 40-day period, starting on December 26 of last year, he recorded an entire record called A Written Testimony. In any case, his “plan” is to release the album on March 18, 40 days after his announcement. In addition, the word is that Jay-Z is heavily-featured on the project. Look, all of that sounds great, but I’m still not falling for the fuckery, son.

Keeping it a buck, I’ve been disappointed by this dude before, man. Like, it’s been over a decade since he first started gaining traction and we STILL don’t have a fucking album, fam. Shit, A Written Testimony sounds fantastic, but where the fuck is Act II: Patents of Nobility (the Turn)? Fam, Jay Elec went so far as to put out a track listing for that album. Hell, he even dropped like two records from the shit and STILL didn’t put it out, man. Furthermore, he found time to do sporadic guest verses on other artists’ songs, but still couldn’t give his fans what we wanted. Now, as folks could probably tell from my tone, I’m heated, bruh.

In the end, maybe he’s telling the truth this time. Ultimately, he’d have to be a sick motherfucker to NOT put this project out after yanking our chain for so many years. By and by, I’ve given up getting excited for Jay Electronica. At the end of the day, if the album actually hits my streaming services, then I’ll get hyped, son. Until then, I’ll keep on listening to some of the songs below, man. *Sigh* This dude could (can?) really rap his ass off, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Look at Jay Elec’s face in that pic, bruh. The way I see it, that’s the face of a man who KNOWS he’s full of shit. All in all, we’ll see if he’s really keeping it thoro this time. Good day.

A Letter To Ari Shaffir

Dear Ari Shaffir,

So, instead of just flying off of the handle from the rip, I want to actually get a sense of what’s going on in your head. Like, I’ll never understand why some people think it’s cool to joke about death. With that being said, I’m honestly not here to talk to you about your feelings regarding Kobe Bryant. Instead, I genuinely want to know if you have a soul at all. The way I see it, no “joke” is worth coming off as a subhuman piece of sewer shit.

Ok, to be fair, you’ve been talking shit about Bryant for years. Frankly, ever since his rape charges were dropped, you’ve been VERY vocal about how you believe he got away with a crime. Now, even though you’re clearly not a fan of the man, I was still taken aback by the fuckery you spewed on Twitter and Instagram. Son, you were literally celebrating the fact that Bryant died. Apparently, his death is a “good story” and you shouted out the “hero who forgot to gas up his chopper.” Furthermore, for some reason, you thought it was appropriate to profess your hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Now, keeping it a buck, I don’t even know where to begin, man. Look, as I said above, you can feel however you want to feel about Kobe Bryant. But, you fuck-face, eight other people died on that damn helicopter! Did you hate Gianna Bryant too? Did you also hate Christina Mauser? Did you hate Ara Zobayan, the Altobelli and Chester families as well? Is your hatred of one man so strong that you’re content with the demise of several teenagers and their parents? Good fucking Lord, you’re literally one of the worst fucking people I’ve ever witnessed in my life, bruh. All in all, if you think that Bryant’s death was karma, just wait until that shit comes back on you, dumbass. All I know is, I’d bet money that almost no one will cry for you.

In the end, good luck with those “jokes,” son. Ultimately, being an asshole has brought you greater visibility than any of your comedy routines, man. By and by, I hope you run into any of the family members from the people you’ve disrespected. All I can say is, sometimes street justice is the best form of justice, bruh. At the end of the day, I’m not telling you to care about Kobe Bryant. But, if other innocent lives don’t matter to you, then who’s the REAL evil person here? That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who only knows that you exist because of Joe Rogan

A Podcast That I Did With Randi B.

So, I’m going to try and keep this post short today, son. Now, I know that I say that a lot, but I mean it, man. Well, I guess. In any case, I just want to let everybody in on that new new, fam. With that being said, my brethren Randi B. has started a new podcast. In addition, she was gracious enough to let me get in on the first episode, bruh. All in all, what else do folks need to know?

Ok, as a quick background, Randi’s podcast, Conversations with Randi B., is available on Anchor and Spotify. Now, on this first episode, Randi and I recapped the 2010s. We talked about everything from Barack Obama/Donald Trump to social media to #MeToo to Black Lives Matter to Prince/Michael Jackson/Whitney Houston. Needless to say, we covered a lot of ground in 30 minutes, son.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, man. Ultimately, I want everyone to go out there and support the movement, fam. By and by, folks can find links to the podcast below. Give it a listen, give us some feedback and let’s get the proceedings proceeding, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Tyler Perry: Work Ethic vs. Quality

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I’m going to be talking out of both sides of my mouth in this post, man. On one hand, I respect the fuck out of Tyler Perry‘s success, fam. I mean, I tried to make that perfectly clear in my previous post about his production studio. Look, I’m in absolute awe of what this man has been able to accomplish, bruh. The way I see it, we all need to applaud a Black man who has been able to carve his place into Hollywood. On the other hand, I’ve always found his writing underwhelming as shit, bruh. With that being said, he might need to employ some writers, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry posted an interesting video on Twitter the other day. Now, in the 35-second clip, Perry showed his audience stacks of screenplays from his MANY shows. In addition, he highlighted the fact that he doesn’t have a writer’s room and is the sole creator of all of his content. Moving on, the purpose of the video was to let people know that his work ethic was/is strong.

Now, there is NO way that I can argue with that man’s hustle, son. Keeping it a buck, it’s super impressive that he was able to get so much done in 2019. But, I also have a completely different outlook on this situation, man. Shit, as I said in the first paragraph, Tyler Perry is not that good of a writer, fam. Look, I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve cringed during a movie or a television show from that guy. The truth is, I always end up supporting because I want him to keep breaking barriers in Tinseltown. However, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like he makes prolific material, bruh.

With all of that being said, I TRULY believe that Perry would benefit from having other scribes in the room. Hell, he’s currently writing a show called Sistas on BET. For reference, the show is about how Black women work, love and live in Atlanta. Now, am I supposed to believe that Tyler Perry is the fucking expert on Black women matters? Like, he really doesn’t think that having at least ONE Black woman in the room would be beneficial? Come the fuck on, son. Yes, his work ethic is admirable, but that also sounds like an ego trip, man.

Also, as I’ve mentioned before, he has an entire production studio in Atlanta. I can guarantee that there are TONS of Black writers who would love to get down on some of his projects. So, why not just employ them, fam? Why not give them a chance to offer some different perspectives? The way I see it, working with others would be a win-win, bruh. First, his questionable writing would probably improve AND he would be giving newcomers a shot at acclaim. All in all, I don’t see how this would be a bad idea, folks.

In the end, I don’t want this to seem like I’m hating, son. If anything, I’m trying to help Perry win, man. Then again, as successful as he is, my opinion probably doesn’t fucking matter, fam. But, as a consumer, I’ve NEVER been satisfied with any of Perry’s work. By and by, based on the fact that he does EVERYTHING himself, I can see why, bruh. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with getting some help, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Trump Is Tryna Start WW3 On Twitter

So, before I even begin, I want everyone to carefully read the above tweet from Donald Trump. Real talk, I had to go inspect his timeline for myself just to confirm the shenanigans, son. Like, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I understand all of the inner-workings of our government. However, I’m pretty sure that a sitting President can’t use Twitter to compel Congress to start a war. Yet, here we are, man. *Sigh* I legitimately don’t know what the fuck is happening right now, fam.

Ok, let’s be real, bruh. At this point, I shouldn’t have to explain to people what’s going on, son. Basically, Trump authorized the assassination of Qassim Suleimani, Iran‘s Major General, and all hell has broken loose. Now, for folks who don’t understand the significance of this, if Iran knocked off one of America‘s Joint Chiefs of Staff, that would probably be similar to killing Suleimani. Meaning, this is a big deal, man. Like, a really big fucking deal, fam.

Anyway, since the drone strike hit Baghdad, the world has been wondering how Iran is going to respond. Because of this, all of the World War 3 jokes have started to fly on social media. Now, I’ll admit, there’s a lot of funny shit floating around, bruh. But, if the draft gets reinstated, my knees are most likely too bad for them to pick me, son. In any case, moments like this are exactly why I don’t know how Trump’s Twitter use has been allowed to thrive. Shit, he really might start a war with 280 characters, man.

Listen, as I stated in the opening paragraph, I really want people to understand the gravity of his words. Hell, against all semblance of protocol (and logic), the President is trying to tell Congress (a separate entity) what to do in the face of potential battle. Fam, what? What?! Look, I REALLY don’t want a potential nuclear holocaust to start on the same application that permeates SpongeBob memes, bruh. All I know is, there is NOTHING presidential about how Trump is handling this, brethren. Then again, what the fuck did I even expect?

In the end, I have no idea how this situation is going to resolve itself, son. Ultimately, I’m interested/terrified to see how Iran is going to retaliate. By and by, part of me doesn’t believe that Iran really wants to get into a full-on fight with America. On the other hand, maybe they are crazy enough to try and go kamikaze on us. Either way, the immediate future might be turbulent as shit, man. At the end of the day, folks better keep their passports on deck, fam. All I can say is, I’m taking my family the fuck outta here if shit gets serious, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Youth Doesn’t Excuse Ignorance: In Response To Camila Cabello

Disclaimer: Some slurs are about to be thrown around, but only to make a point, son. Just let me cook, man.

So, I won’t lie, fam. On the real, I’m tired of celebrities using youth to excuse ignorance, bruh. Like, anytime a famous person gets caught doing some stupid shit, they immediately use the “I was young” rationale. Nah, I’m not rolling with this, son. With that being said, Camila Cabello can miss me with her half-ass apology. All in all, folks should know better when they’re teenagers, man. Sorry not sorry.

Ok, for those who missed it, Cabello is in some shit right now. So, thanks to a user on Twitter, posts from Cabello’s old Tumblr page have resurfaced. Now, due to Cabello’s team (probably), I had to do some real searching to see her previous fuckery. I mean, they did a really good job of trying to scrub the evidence, fam. In any case, when Cabello was around 15 years old, her Tumblr page was FULL of memes making fun of Black people and other minorities. Shit, I saw multiple memes about fried chicken. I saw multiple memes using the word “nigga.” Hell, I even saw a meme about beating Rihanna‘s IQ score, where Chris Brown was at the bottom saying “already did.” The fact is, young ass Cabello (a whole Cuban/Mexican) was WAY too concerned with cracking wise about other people of color.

Now, as expected, Cabello released a statement denouncing her previous actions. In addition, she asserted that she was very young when she made these “mistakes” and now sees the error of her ways. All I can say is, I’m calling bullshit, bruh. Like, this is the same playbook that Sabrina Claudio and Justin Bieber tried to operate from. The way I see it, age doesn’t pardon bigotry, son. Real talk, when I was 15 years old, I knew it was bad to call Hispanic people “spics.” I knew it was bad to call Jewish people “kikes.” I knew it was bad to call gay people “faggots.” Look, I’m faaaar from perfect, but I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I didn’t know better, man. So, I’m not giving Cabello or any of these other celebs a pass for their retroactive racism, fam.

In the end, miss me with that nonsense apology, bruh. Ultimately, Cabello is only doing this because she got exposed. By and by, I’m not saying that she’s still at home these days calling Black people “nigga.” However, I’m tired of everyone using the age excuse. At the end of the day, we know right from wrong, son. So, just cop (for real) to the previous hate and THEN the apology might be sincere. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Shout-out to fine-ass Normani, brethren, just because. Good day.

The Tomfoolery Of Karol Sanchez

*Sigh* I hate teenagers, son. Like, these are the times where I fully embrace being a dude in his mid-30s, man. The truth is, a lot of these teens are out of their cotdamn minds, fam. All in all, Karol Sanchez pulled some real fuckery this week. Frankly, it’s amazing how someone can go from victim to Clown Princess in 24 hours. In any case, it’s time to call Sanchez out for her nonsense, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, an Amber Alert went out on Monday for a missing teen girl. Now, based on a video taken in my Bronx borough, it appeared that Sanchez was abducted by four men in front of her mother. At the time, Sanchez’ mother tried to fight off the assailants, to no avail. From there, a citywide search began to find the missing 16-year-old.

Look, for the better part of Tuesday, my social media timelines were filled with posts about Sanchez’ disappearance. Justifiably, people were doing their best to put the word out about this apparent “kidnapping.” Anyway, when Sanchez reappeared on Tuesday evening, everyone was relieved, son. Shit, people were genuinely happy that she was returned to her mother unharmed.

Now, this is where the dumbassery begins, man. *Sigh* Based on new reports, Sanchez pulled a Jussie Smollett on us, fam. Meaning, she faked the entire incident, bruh. The word is, Sanchez’ mother wanted to move back to Honduras. From what I understand, Sanchez wasn’t with the shits and wanted to stay with her 23-year-old Crip boyfriend. So, using her stupid ass teenage logic, she employed the help of four men to “take her by force.” However, there was one crucial flaw in her plan, brethren: WHEN PEOPLE GO MISSING, OTHER PEOPLE TEND TO TRY TO FIND THEM!

Son, did she really think that she would be able to hide what she did? Did she really think that no one would discover her fraudulence? Real talk, she made all of us look like fools, man. Folks were truly concerned about her well-being and she was out here trying to finesse us, fam. On the real, I’m flabbergasted by her gall (word to T.I.). All I can say is, if I were her mother, I would DEFINITELY send her ass back to Honduras after this, bruh.

In the end, I want to reiterate the fact that I hate teenagers. Ultimately, my oldest son is about four years away from the shenanigans. By and by, I’m working out at the UFC Gym twice a week, just to make sure that I can hem his ass up if he ever tried some Karol Sanchez shit. At the end of the day, she did a disserve to REAL missing teens. She did a disserve to the large number of REAL missing women. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even know how to finish this post, son. All I know is, I would be filled with unbridled rage if I were Sanchez’ parent, man. That is all. LC out.

Thanks For Supporting My Music, Pt. 2

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, a lot has transpired since I first thanked everyone for supporting my music, man. Shit, at this point last year, I was getting ready to release my The Charlemagne Renaissance album on streaming services. As of today, I now have two projects out here on these streets: the aforementioned The Charlemagne Renaissance and The Charlemagne Overture. All in all, none of this would be possible if the good people out there didn’t help a brother out, fam.

In any case, I don’t have much else to say, bruh. All I know is, I have a lot more shit on the horizon, son. First, I’m about to start getting into my music video bag. I mean, out of the 20 records I dropped this year, a few of them need that visual treatment, man. Second, I’m also planning on getting my website and mailing list up and running. Lastly, the shows will continue to pop off, fam. So, be on the lookout for all of the shit that I’m doing in 2020, brethren.

In the end, since Thanksgiving just passed, I felt like it was only right to show my gratitude, son. Ultimately, there are millions of people out here doing music. By and by, folks aren’t obligated to support me, man. With that being said, keep streaming the projects, keep coming to the shows and keep dropping the lines of encouragement. As an independent artist, it goes a long way, fam. It really does. That is all. LC out.

I F*cks With This Sabrina Claudio Album

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, due to the racist Fuckity-McFuckery that Sabrina Claudio tweeted back in the day, I avoided her music like the plague. I mean, if I’m being honest, I’ve never actually listened to any of her projects, man. However, after several people I know told me to peep her Truth Is album, I finally obliged. All I can say is, I like this shit a lot, fam. Real talk, she makes quality fucking music, bruh.

Ok, keeping it a buck, I have no intention of giving some long ass album review, son. The way I see it, my take is pretty simple, man. The fact is, the production, spearheaded by Sad Money, is great and her melodies/lyrics are great. Listen, I’m not a picky dude, fam. In my eyes, music is complicated but simple at the same time. Like, a great melody and good lyrics always win, bruh. Seriously, they always fucking win. For me, all I need is a vocal about heartbreak and some dope ass chords. From there, I’m all in, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, son. Ultimately, this isn’t my most in-depth review. By and by, this album is just great to listen to, man. Now, based on the artist, do I slightly feel like a sellout? Yeah, a little bit. But, like I said before, I’m just a sucker for good music, fam. All in all, below are some of the records that I fuck with the most. Moody R&B for the win, bruh! That is all. LC out.