Donald Trump Just Confused Two Mass Shootings

So, when I woke up this morning, I planned on writing about the latest shooting in California. I mean, my plan was to talk about the fuckery that Kevin Janson Neal inflicted on Tehama County. Now, I’m still going to speak about this tragedy, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on Donald Trump‘s response to the tragedy. Basically, y’alls President confused one mass shooting with another one, son. Worse yet, he didn’t even bother to change the template of his tweet before he sent it out.

Ok, before I continue, let me talk about the matter at hand, man. Now, for those who missed it, just yesterday, Kevin Neal opened fire on a myriad of people. Apparently, he was at odds with his neighbors and decided to kill them. From there, he drove around town, in stolen cars, and fired on unsuspecting folks. Ultimately, he ended up at an elementary school and tried to wreak havoc, fam. All in all, in the aftermath of his attack, four people were dead and another ten were injured. Frankly, if the school faculty didn’t react quicker, there could’ve been more bloodshed, fam.

Now, it goes without saying that this situation is terrible, bruh. Luckily, none of the children were killed, but one was hurt during the chaos. With that being said, my condolences to everyone who was affected by this horror. On the real, it’s insane that this was the third mass shooting in under two months, son. First, it was Las Vegas and then it was Texas. At this point, I’m not even sure of what needs to be done here, man. Like, none of the community’s suggestions are even entertained by our elected officials, fam. Honestly, people just keep on dying, folks.

Moving on, on its own, the shooting would’ve been bad enough, son. However; Trump found a way to make it worse by hitting his Twitter account. So, in the wake of the incident, Trump tweeted out “May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.” Now, if anyone is paying attention, they’d know that he just referenced the wrong shooting. Even worse, he copied and pasted a nearly identical message that he sent when the real Texas shooting happened. Look, this man didn’t even have the wherewithal or the respect to get the place right, man! Like, I’m at a fucking loss for words, fam!

Look, his reaction is fucked up on multiple levels, bruh. First, we’ve gotten to a point where mass shootings are the norm now. As a nation, we’ve become so desensitized to this kind of violence that all we offer victims are “thoughts and prayers.” Because of this, the fucking President thought it was okay to have a mass shooting tweet template. Next, it takes a special kind of asshole to not even bother getting the location right. Real talk, no Trump apologist can make this faux pas okay, son. This man clearly doesn’t give a flying fuck about the American people!

In the end, I have nothing else to say here, man. Ultimately, I don’t hate many people, but Donald Trump is ABSOLUTELY on that list, fam! He is, without question, one of the worst things to ever happen to this nation, bruh. By and by, as long as he’s in control, we’re doomed, folks. There’s no other way to cut it or slice it, people. That is all. LC out.

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Get ESPN The F*ck Outta Here!

So, let me get straight to it, son. ESPN can eat a massive dick, son. I mean, they’re definitely showing the world their true colors, man. I guess, in their eyes, the First Amendment means nothing, fam. Like, free speech must be some imaginary concept, bruh. Shit, from the way things have played out, SportsCenter co-host Jemele Hill clearly isn’t entitled to voicing her opinion. All I know is, Hill needs to take her talents to somewhere she’ll be properly appreciated. All in all, ESPN is NOT the place, folks.

Now, for those who missed all of the fuckery, let me give a brief rundown. The nonsense started when Hill spoke out against Donald Trump on Twitter. She correctly called Trump a White Supremacist and blamed him for the rise of bigotry in this country. Listen, if anyone thinks she was off base, just remember Trump’s response to Charlottesville. Despite the fact that supremacists killed Heather Heyer, he still said that there were “fine people” on all sides. Look, if that ain’t sucking up to racists than I don’t know what is, son.

In any case, because of her statements, Hill became a political target. Trump’s entire administration tried to make her a punching bag in an effort to get her fired. Now, since ESPN is a bunch of bitches, they released a statement condemning Hill’s tweets. With that being said, she was effectively put on warning. However; since Hill is a real one, she refused to be silenced by the powers that be.

Moving on, here’s where the tomfoolery came to a head, man. So, Jerry Jones decided to be a typical White dude in power and threaten his Dallas Cowboys players. According to him, if any man kneels for the National Anthem, then they won’t play. Keep in mind, just the other week, this clowncake kneeled with the players before a game. Now, he’s trying to pull rank by putting pressure on his employees. Look, all I want to know is, when did Jerry Jones become a beacon of moral authority? Fam, ain’t that the same man that took these pictures? Ok, yeah, I thought so, bruh.

Anyway, in the wake of Jones’ hypocrisy, Hill suggested that people should boycott Cowboys advertisers. Frankly, that move would be a real way to affect the status quo. By and by, for her troubles, ESPN suspended Hill for two weeks for violating their social media policy. Basically, this was their way of shutting her up for speaking against their corporate interests. Listen, we all know how the game goes, son. Anytime a Black person speaks up, the people in control need to assert their dominance. Keeping it a buck, Hill became another victim of the need to maintain “order.”

In the end, ESPN is proving that they only want a certain type of Blackness. They want to exploit our swag but don’t give a fuck about our pain. Now, I know Hill worked tirelessly to succeed, but I hope she learned a valuable lesson here: these corporations want us to be caricatures. They want us to be docile servants who should be thankful for our positions. Ultimately, fuck ESPN and all other organizations who profit from our talents but remain silent about our anguish. LC out.

P.S. Michael Smith is a G for the way he’s standing up for his co-host. Salute, brother. That is all.

Stop Tweeting, Kevin Durant

Ok, all jokes aside, where are Kevin Durant‘s friends, son? I mean, no one told him that his social media behavior has been corny as shit, man? Look, I know I’ve given him a hard time for his Golden State Warriors move, but I never thought he’d do something so lame, fam. All in all, KD just needs to accept the fact that most people don’t accept his decision. At this point, he’s an NBA champion now. Why does he still care what people think?

Now, for those who missed it, KD got caught doing some hoe shit last week. So, apparently, this dude has been using secret Twitter and Instagram accounts to argue with people hating on him. He got caught after accidentally posting a response from his REAL Twitter account. Look, in the aforementioned message, he spoke about himself in the third person, shitted on his former coach Billy Donovan AND threw shots at the entire Oklahoma City Thunder organization. In his eyes, it was just him and Russell Westbrook. To be fair, he wasn’t wrong about that part.

In any case, when he was confronted about his actions during a fireside chat at TechCrunch Disrupt, he owned up to his corniness. Now, before I continue, let me be clear about something. KD is EASILY one of the top 3 players in the game. In addition, I never faulted him for leaving OKC. Frankly, he’s only getting hate for going to a team that beat him. To make matters worse, he’s handled the situation TERRIBLY since switching teams. Look, this dude is a champion and a Finals MVP now. By and by, our opinions shouldn’t even matter to him. Keeping it a buck, people will never like his decision, fam. He just needs to focus on winning and move the fuck on, bruh.

In the end, @quiresultan on IG is not going to make us like Kevin Durant. So, he just needs to leave the secret accounts alone and go ball out. Ultimately, his third person defense ranks high on the all-time loser list, son. Shit, he’s winning now, which is what he says he’s always wanted. Nothing else should even matter, man. Just let it go, KD. LC out.

A Letter To Trump: The Hate ‘On Many Sides’

Dear Donald Trump,

You’ve really dropped the ball on this one, man. I mean, you drop the ball on most things, but you’ve really missed an opportunity here. For someone who claims to be “tough,” your inability to condemn White Supremacists is cowardly at best. Nazi/Ku Klux Klan enthusiasts took over Charlottesville, Virginia and you couldn’t even mention them by name. Instead, you spoke of imaginary hate “on many sides.” All I want to know is, when will you stop cozing up to the bigots who put you in office?

Now, to be clear, racists helped put you in office. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Duke. The former Imperial Wizard of the KKK said as much when he attacked you on Twitter. He was upset that you spoke against the Unite the Right rally, claiming that they’re just fulfilling your vision. Wait, let me say that again, son. The former leader of the KKK believes that the alt-right is fulfilling YOUR vision. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if you believe that you’re racist or not. All you need to know is, racists believe in YOUR message. Frankly, it empowers them to take their bigotry to the streets.

With all of that being said, let’s examine how you’ve handled this situation. After counter-protesters took to the streets to confront your swastika-wearing/Confederate flag-waving supporters, James Alex Fields decided to spring into action. To further the White Nationalist agenda, Fields took his car and plowed into a group of counter-protesters. In the process, he injured 19 people and killed Heather Heyer. Now, after ALL of that, you STILL couldn’t bring yourself to condemn White Supremacists. My God, you’re a fucking disgusting human being, man!

On the real, I’m glad that even Republicans are calling you out on your bullshit. Look, this isn’t the time to pussyfoot on this issue, man. Bruh, it’s so easy for you to call EVERYTHING Radical Islamic Terrorism, but you can’t say a word about domestic terrorism. The fact of the matter is, homegrown terrorists are WAY more dangerous to American citizens than ISIS and al-Qaeda combined! But, here you are, still pandering to your racist ass base instead of comforting the country. All in all, it seems as if bipartisanship knows no bounds, son.

In the end, fuck you, bruh! You’re one of the worst things that’s ever happened to this country, and that’s saying a lot. Keeping it a buck, the current climate of the United States rests squarely on your shoulders. Shit, your rhetoric gave them the platform to rise up. By and by, there aren’t “many sides” here. A White Supremacist murdered a woman and you’re too much of a bitch to admit it. Ultimately, this is exactly what you’re not my President.

Sincerely,

A man who legitimately hates everything about you

Let’s Talk About Quantasia Sharpton

So, let me get straight to the point, son. On the real, I don’t give a fuck if Quantasia Sharpton is big, man. Look, I’d bet money that a lot of dudes with the worst jokes have the most questionable history with sexual partners. With that being said, who cares if Usher Raymond has an affinity for big girls. In any case, instead of judging Sharpton for her weight, we should be talking about the idea that she may be a liar, fam. All in all, parts of her story ain’t adding up, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, Sharpton is the first person to publicly sue Usher. She alleges that she met him at one of his concerts and had sex with him after the show. Anyway, despite the fact that she admits she doesn’t have herpes, she’s suing Usher for not disclosing his status. Shit, she even hired notable lawyer Lisa Bloom to make it real, son. Apparently, the shitshow has officially begun, man.

Moving on, this is where shit gets silly, fam. Outside of the fact that she doesn’t have herpes, her old Facebook and Twitter messages are starting to make noise. On Facebook, she recently claimed that she needed some money and then wrote “enjoying my last couple of hours as a regular girl.” Next thing we know, she’s holding a fucking press conference, bruh. To make matters worse, she’s previously accused August Alsina of fathering her child and even bragged about sleeping with Kirko Bangz. Man, this girl sounds like she’s just out here trying to finesse people, son.

Fam, what’s the real story here? Is this woman just looking for attention? I mean, if she’s lying, why would she even want this kind of energy around her? Frankly, she ain’t gonna get no money from fairy tales and all of her business is going to get exposed. From my vantage point, this looks like a stupid ass move, son. By and by, these five minutes of fame aren’t worth it, Quantasia.

In the end, Sharpton’s dress size is irrelevant, man. If a big girl isn’t a virgin, then that means someone is hitting it, son. Shit, let’s all grow up here, fam. The real story here is the potential lying that Sharpton may be doing. Ultimately, if she’s just trying to capitalize off of a bad situation, then she deserves to be dragged to the depths of social media hell, bruh. All I know is, this Usher shit just keeps on getting worse, folks. LC out.

I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

Loose Lips Sink Countries

Man, at what point will Republicans say “enough is enough?” At what point will the GOP abandon their wayward leader? As of now, Donald Trump must be purposely trying to destroy democracy, son. I mean, why else would he continuously do such outrageously stupid shit? Look, all I know is, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and the Oval Office is dealing with a five-alarm blaze right now.

Now, for anyone who missed it, there’s so much fuckery going on, bruh. It all began when Trump decided to invite Sergei Lavrov and Sergey Kislyak into the White House. To be clear, these men are Russia‘s Foreign Minister and Ambassador, respectively. Now, for the people keeping score, the American press wasn’t allowed in this meeting. However; pictures of this shindig surfaced on the Twitter account for Tass, a Russian state-run news agency. So, essentially, Russia had more insight into this gathering than our own people. Cool.

Moving on, this isn’t even the worst part of the story, man. Apparently, during this meeting with Vladimir Putin‘s cronies, Trump revealed classified information that could jeopardize an initiative against ISIS. Now, while the President has the authority to discuss anything he wants, the intelligence community is still scrambling to salvage whatever leverage they have against ISIS. All in all, Trump’s loose lips endangered vital intel and people. Side note, didn’t he run his entire campaign on the idea that Hillary Clinton couldn’t be trusted with classified information? Oh, ok, just checking.

So, with all of that being said, that’s not even the coup de grâce, son. Now, if anyone paid attention to the second paragraph, they’d notice that I mentioned the name “Sergey Kislyak.” This name is important because this is the same man who Michael Flynn got fired for speaking to! This is the same man who Jeff Sessions had to recuse himself over! Are you fucking kidding me, man?! Trump is really holding meetings with the dude at the CENTER of the collusion allegations against his administration?! Good fucking Lord, fam! How treacherous can one human being be?! It’s so fucking outlandish, son!

Ultimately, where are all of the Republicans with some cotdamn sense? All I know is, they need to distance themselves from this man NOW! Trump is taking this country straight to Hell and NO ONE is doing anything about it! Listen, at the moment, the GOP runs every branch of government. They have the power to put an end to this man’s madness. Please, for once, do the right fucking thing, folks! *Sigh* LC out.