A Letter To Trump: The Hate ‘On Many Sides’

Dear Donald Trump,

You’ve really dropped the ball on this one, man. I mean, you drop the ball on most things, but you’ve really missed an opportunity here. For someone who claims to be “tough,” your inability to condemn White Supremacists is cowardly at best. Nazi/Ku Klux Klan enthusiasts took over Charlottesville, Virginia and you couldn’t even mention them by name. Instead, you spoke of imaginary hate “on many sides.” All I want to know is, when will you stop cozing up to the bigots who put you in office?

Now, to be clear, racists helped put you in office. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Duke. The former Imperial Wizard of the KKK said as much when he attacked you on Twitter. He was upset that you spoke against the Unite the Right rally, claiming that they’re just fulfilling your vision. Wait, let me say that again, son. The former leader of the KKK believes that the alt-right is fulfilling YOUR vision. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if you believe that you’re racist or not. All you need to know is, racists believe in YOUR message. Frankly, it empowers them to take their bigotry to the streets.

With all of that being said, let’s examine how you’ve handled this situation. After counter-protesters took to the streets to confront your swastika-wearing/Confederate flag-waving supporters, James Alex Fields decided to spring into action. To further the White Nationalist agenda, Fields took his car and plowed into a group of counter-protesters. In the process, he injured 19 people and killed Heather Heyer. Now, after ALL of that, you STILL couldn’t bring yourself to condemn White Supremacists. My God, you’re a fucking disgusting human being, man!

On the real, I’m glad that even Republicans are calling you out on your bullshit. Look, this isn’t the time to pussyfoot on this issue, man. Bruh, it’s so easy for you to call EVERYTHING Radical Islamic Terrorism, but you can’t say a word about domestic terrorism. The fact of the matter is, homegrown terrorists are WAY more dangerous to American citizens than ISIS and al-Qaeda combined! But, here you are, still pandering to your racist ass base instead of comforting the country. All in all, it seems as if bipartisanship knows no bounds, son.

In the end, fuck you, bruh! You’re one of the worst things that’s ever happened to this country, and that’s saying a lot. Keeping it a buck, the current climate of the United States rests squarely on your shoulders. Shit, your rhetoric gave them the platform to rise up. By and by, there aren’t “many sides” here. A White Supremacist murdered a woman and you’re too much of a bitch to admit it. Ultimately, this is exactly what you’re not my President.

Sincerely,

A man who legitimately hates everything about you

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Let’s Talk About Quantasia Sharpton

So, let me get straight to the point, son. On the real, I don’t give a fuck if Quantasia Sharpton is big, man. Look, I’d bet money that a lot of dudes with the worst jokes have the most questionable history with sexual partners. With that being said, who cares if Usher Raymond has an affinity for big girls. In any case, instead of judging Sharpton for her weight, we should be talking about the idea that she may be a liar, fam. All in all, parts of her story ain’t adding up, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, Sharpton is the first person to publicly sue Usher. She alleges that she met him at one of his concerts and had sex with him after the show. Anyway, despite the fact that she admits she doesn’t have herpes, she’s suing Usher for not disclosing his status. Shit, she even hired notable lawyer Lisa Bloom to make it real, son. Apparently, the shitshow has officially begun, man.

Moving on, this is where shit gets silly, fam. Outside of the fact that she doesn’t have herpes, her old Facebook and Twitter messages are starting to make noise. On Facebook, she recently claimed that she needed some money and then wrote “enjoying my last couple of hours as a regular girl.” Next thing we know, she’s holding a fucking press conference, bruh. To make matters worse, she’s previously accused August Alsina of fathering her child and even bragged about sleeping with Kirko Bangz. Man, this girl sounds like she’s just out here trying to finesse people, son.

Fam, what’s the real story here? Is this woman just looking for attention? I mean, if she’s lying, why would she even want this kind of energy around her? Frankly, she ain’t gonna get no money from fairy tales and all of her business is going to get exposed. From my vantage point, this looks like a stupid ass move, son. By and by, these five minutes of fame aren’t worth it, Quantasia.

In the end, Sharpton’s dress size is irrelevant, man. If a big girl isn’t a virgin, then that means someone is hitting it, son. Shit, let’s all grow up here, fam. The real story here is the potential lying that Sharpton may be doing. Ultimately, if she’s just trying to capitalize off of a bad situation, then she deserves to be dragged to the depths of social media hell, bruh. All I know is, this Usher shit just keeps on getting worse, folks. LC out.

I Don’t Care About ‘Covfefe’

So, to be real, I wasn’t even going to write about this story, son. I mean, keeping it a buck, Donald Trump‘s inability to spell is not news. Look, his grammatical error game is strong on Twitter, man. Frankly, I’m surprised when he’s actually able to tweet a coherent thought, fam. That’s how rarely that event occurs, bruh. In any case, I don’t like how this nonsense is distracting us from the Trump administration’s usual fuckery. In any case, LC is here to remind everyone of just that, son.

Now, before I continue, let me get one thing out of the way. Man, someone needs to put Sean Spicer out of his misery, bruh. Listen, defending Trump MUST be killing him inside. Fam, this dude really stood behind a podium and said “the President and a small group of people know exactly what he meant.” Good fucking Lord, man! This administration can’t even admit to a fucking typo, son! That statement is one of the most preposterous collections of words I’ve ever heard in my life. Look, Spicer, NO ONE believes that bullshit, man! Absolutely no one.

Moving on, let me be perfectly clear about this entire brouhaha. I don’t care about “covfefe” because the House Intelligence Committee just subpoenaed Michael Flynn and Michael Cohen, Trump’s personal lawyer. I don’t care about “covfefe” because James Comey has agreed to testify before the Senate. I don’t care about “covfefe” because Trump is having a war of words with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. As a reminder, Germany is an ally of ours. Needless to say, so much real shit is happening out here, we shouldn’t have time to worry about the fact that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. We all need to be paying attention to the real issues, fam. It’s getting ugly out here, son. Really ugly.

In the end, we all know Trump is an idiot, man. That tidbit is not news. At this point, we all need to be worrying about the inner workings of this administration. Ultimately, the FBI and the intelligence committees need to get to the bottom of the real tomfoolery, son. Until then, please keep the stupidity out of the media, fam. Thanks. LC out.

Loose Lips Sink Countries

Man, at what point will Republicans say “enough is enough?” At what point will the GOP abandon their wayward leader? As of now, Donald Trump must be purposely trying to destroy democracy, son. I mean, why else would he continuously do such outrageously stupid shit? Look, all I know is, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and the Oval Office is dealing with a five-alarm blaze right now.

Now, for anyone who missed it, there’s so much fuckery going on, bruh. It all began when Trump decided to invite Sergei Lavrov and Sergey Kislyak into the White House. To be clear, these men are Russia‘s Foreign Minister and Ambassador, respectively. Now, for the people keeping score, the American press wasn’t allowed in this meeting. However; pictures of this shindig surfaced on the Twitter account for Tass, a Russian state-run news agency. So, essentially, Russia had more insight into this gathering than our own people. Cool.

Moving on, this isn’t even the worst part of the story, man. Apparently, during this meeting with Vladimir Putin‘s cronies, Trump revealed classified information that could jeopardize an initiative against ISIS. Now, while the President has the authority to discuss anything he wants, the intelligence community is still scrambling to salvage whatever leverage they have against ISIS. All in all, Trump’s loose lips endangered vital intel and people. Side note, didn’t he run his entire campaign on the idea that Hillary Clinton couldn’t be trusted with classified information? Oh, ok, just checking.

So, with all of that being said, that’s not even the coup de grâce, son. Now, if anyone paid attention to the second paragraph, they’d notice that I mentioned the name “Sergey Kislyak.” This name is important because this is the same man who Michael Flynn got fired for speaking to! This is the same man who Jeff Sessions had to recuse himself over! Are you fucking kidding me, man?! Trump is really holding meetings with the dude at the CENTER of the collusion allegations against his administration?! Good fucking Lord, fam! How treacherous can one human being be?! It’s so fucking outlandish, son!

Ultimately, where are all of the Republicans with some cotdamn sense? All I know is, they need to distance themselves from this man NOW! Trump is taking this country straight to Hell and NO ONE is doing anything about it! Listen, at the moment, the GOP runs every branch of government. They have the power to put an end to this man’s madness. Please, for once, do the right fucking thing, folks! *Sigh* LC out.

Can Donald Trump Stop Politicizing Syria?

To begin, I just have one question. Is there literally NO issue that won’t be politicized? I mean, why must every situation and circumstance become some ideological debate? Look, some things just aren’t politics, son. Why can’t our government understand that? All I know is, a chemical attack in Syria is not the time to bash a previous administration. With that being said, can Donald Trump stop politicizing the deaths of Syrian people?

Now, before I continue, let’s just get one fallacy out of the way. Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about the citizens of Syria. First, he tried to block Syrian refugees from entering our country in not one but TWO travel bans! Innocent men, women and children have been trying to flee from Bashar al-Assad’s wrath for years now. Trump has been the main proponent of denying them help. So, am I now supposed to believe he gives two shits about their well-being? Man, get the fuck out of here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, during Barack Obama’s presidency, Trump constantly used Twitter to try and deter Obama from acting on Syria. Shit, as recently as 2013, Trump asserted that Syria was “not our problem.” Hell, just last week, Rex Tillerson, our current Secretary of State, stated that Assad’s tenure should be “decided by the Syrian people.” Now, the entire administration wants to change course and berate Obama for not doing something about Syria sooner. Man, these clowns have GOT to be fucking kidding me, man! The hypocrisy is so blatant that it literally hurts my head, son.

Look, at some point, Trump has to realize that he’s the President now. He can’t keep blaming the previous administration for issues that are happening under his watch. If Trump really gave a shit about Syria, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep their refugees out of our country. In addition, if he were really serious, he would grow some balls and call Vladimir Putin out. Lest we forget, Russia is one of Assad’s biggest allies. Despite this fact, nobody in Trump’s administration has even uttered a word about Putin. Hmmmmmm, I wonder why, son. Could it have anything to do with a congressional investigation? Listen, I’m just saying, bruh.

Ultimately, Trump wanted to ban Syrians from our country, he accused their refugees of being ISIS and now I’m supposed to believe he cares? *Sigh* I truly, truly hate our political system, man. All in all, it’s despicable to politicize death. That’s exactly what Trump and company are doing. Let’s just call a spade a spade, son. LC out.

Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.

Get Milo Yiannopoulos The F*ck Outta Here!

So, on the latest episode of Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here, I bring to you Milo Yiannopoulos. This douchebag is the now-former editor of Breitbart News. Yes, the Satan-spawn of Steve Bannon has come back to plague us again. In any case, since the weekend, Milo has had a glorious downfall. On the real, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for him. Milo is a shit-stain of a person and he’s getting EVERYTHING he deserves.

Now, before I continue, let me explain to everyone who this turd is. I’ve covered the Breitbart part, but that’s just the beginning of his fuckery. If anyone actually read the filth he spewed on that website, they’d see that he has no regard for civility or humanity. This is a man who disrespects women and the LGBTQ community with regularity. Side bar, that last tidbit is EXTREMELY odd given the fact that he’s gay. Anyway, this is also the same man who made it his life’s mission to bully Leslie Jones on Twitter. Needless to say, for his constant hate, he was banned from the social media platform.

In any case, Milo’s real downfall began after some outrageous comments surfaced on a livestream. For all intents and purposes, Milo defended pedophilia. This fucking clown had the audacity to say that when older men have relationships with younger boys, they give the kids “love” and a “reliable sort of a rock.” Taking it a step further, he mentions his own childhood sexual abuse and says that he’s “grateful for Father Michael.” In Milo’s own words, he wouldn’t be as good at giving head without the priest. Finally, Milo believes that 13 year old boys are “sexually mature.”

Look, it’s very rare that I’m speechless, son. However; I’M FUCKING SPEECHLESS! I’m confused on so many levels, man! How can any functional human being speak so casually about the abuse of children? In addition, how can anyone who’s actually been abused be so nonchalant about taking a child’s innocence? I’m fucking baffled, bruh! Without question, Milo is one of the most hateful people walking this Earth. He gives no respect to women, children or anybody else, for that matter. It’s fucking disgusting, son! Shit, “disgusting” is not even a strong enough word, man. Real talk, I don’t even know how to accurately describe my disdain for this dude.

Ultimately, I’m ecstatic that Milo is losing all of achievements. So far, he’s lost his Conservative Political Action Conference invitation, his book deal and his job at Breitbart. It’s ridiculous that it took this long to get rid of him, but I’ll take it, man. All in all, Breitbart has produced nothing but hate, son. That site needs to be eradicated, along with everyone that contributes to it. LC out.

P.S. Bill Maher can get the fuck outta here too. No one’s giving this dude credit for getting Milo fired, son. Maher’s a clown for even having him on his show in the first place, man. That is all.