Trump Is As Much Of An Immigrant As The Freshman Congresswomen

So, here we are again, son. Another day, another preposterous Twitter rant from Donald Trump. Anyway, in a random stream of consciousness, Trump tweeted that progressive Democratic congresswomen should “fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came” before telling the United States how to govern. All I know is, I don’t even know where to begin with the fuckery, man.

Ok, before I continue, I’d like to go through Trump’s family tree. On the real, I feel like this is necessary in order to showcase how ridiculous his comments were. Now, for those who are unaware, Trump’s mother, Mary Anne Trump, was an immigrant. In fact, she was born in Scotland in 1912. In addition, his father, Fred Trump, was a first generation American who was born to German parents. Furthermore, Trump’s first AND third wives were both born outside of this country. With all of that being said, his views on immigrants are fucking perplexing, fam. I mean, his entire lineage is full of “aliens,” bruh.

Moving on, let’s talk about the congresswomen who Trump essentially targeted. First, there’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She was born in The Bronx, New York to Puerto Rican parents. This makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Rashida Tlaib. She was born in Detroit, Michigan to Palestinian parents. This also makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Ayanna Pressley. She was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, unless I’m wrong, her folks weren’t even immigrants at all, son (well, they were, but you know what I mean). Finally, there’s Ilhan Omar. Real talk, she’s the only one who was born out of the country, hailing from Somalia. The point is, the ancestry of most of these women has as many foreigners as Trump, man. So, what is the hate really about, fam?

Look, let’s just call a spade a spade, bruh. The truth is, immigrants are only vilified when they’re Black or Brown, son. Keeping it a buck, the motivation that caused Trump to question Barack Obama‘s birthplace is the same motivation that caused him to attack these congresswomen. The fact is, these ladies are just as American as Trump and anybody else who decides to question them. Listen, political disagreements are one thing. However, belittling someone’s patriotism and devaluing their place in this country is completely different, man. The way I see, people of color are always viewed as “invaders,” regardless of our strong ties to this nation.

In the end, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m surprised, fam. Like, I almost skipped this subject entirely, bruh. Hell, water is wet and Donald Trump says racist shit. What’s new, son? Ultimately, 45 showed us who he was a loooooooong time ago, man. At the end of the day, we just need to keep pushing back until we finally push him out, fam. That is all. LC out.

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A Post Of Jokes For Folks Mad About A Black Mermaid

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I can’t even pretend like I’m surprised, man. I mean, anytime there’s an opportunity, bigots are going to dig into their bigotry bag, fam. In any case, this The Little Mermaid shit is especially preposterous. Like, really? Really, folks? We’re seriously out here debating the race of a fictional character? *Sigh* I guess it’s time to get these jokes off, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Disney just brought out the prejudice in a number of people. Now, Halle Bailey, one half of the Beyoncé-signed sister duo Chloe x Halle, was cast as Ariel in the upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid. Anyway, on paper, Bailey definitely has the chops to kill this role. I mean, she’s a credible actress, as seen on Grown-ish, and she’s an incredible singer. So, this should be a layup, right? Well, not according to a bunch of racists on social media, son.

Now, from the minute news went out, the hate train started rolling, man. Shit, whether we’re talking about the #NotMyAriel hashtag or the “Make Ariel White Again” group on Facebook, an unfortunate faction of people started to attack Bailey’s race. Apparently, a fictional character, who is also an imaginary entity, cannot be Black. All I can say is, are folks fucking serious, fam?!

Listen, to begin, Ariel is a fucking mermaid, bruh. Last time I checked, MERMAIDS AREN’T REAL, SON! Hell, this is like when Megyn Kelly and company legitimately tried to argue the race of Santa Claus on Fox News. Seriously, are certain White people so insecure, they need fake characters to validate themselves? Fam, we’re talking about a cotdamn mermaid who’s friends with a Jamaican crab and gets her voice box taken by an octopus in a dress. That’s the fight these folks are trying to fight, man? For God‘s sake, don’t these people have more important shit to worry about? Are they paying their mortgages on time? Did their children eat for dinner? Like, the ethnicity of Ariel is not the hill to die on, brethren.

In the end, I need everyone to understand something: if the race of Ariel causes a person to say bad shit about Black people, then they’re racist. Ultimately, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it, son. By and by, if White people weren’t pissed about the casting of Gods of Egypt, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Fisher Stevens playing Ben Jabituya in Short Circuit, then shut the fuck up. If they weren’t pissed about Scarlett Johansson playing a fucking Japanese cyborg in Ghost in the Shell, then PLEASE shut the fuck up. Side bar, I love Scarlett Johansson, but that’s neither here nor there. At the end of the day, race only becomes an issue in casting when White people don’t get the role. So, these folks can kiss the crack of every minority ass, man. That is all. LC out.

Ay, Joe Budden, Cyn Santana Bounced, Bruh

So, let me be real, son. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I know what’s going on with Joe Budden and Cyn Santana. All I can say is, Budden seems to be a little confused about his relationship status. Well, I’d like to clear it up for him. *Ahem* She bounced, bruh. Look, anytime a woman moves all of her shit out of the crib, she’s probably serious, man.

Ok, for those who missed it, the engagement between Budden and Santana is seemingly off. Now, there were rumors circulating around that the two were having pre-marital issues. But, I generally don’t pay attention to what gossip blogs have to say. Furthermore, I don’t pay attention to a woman’s shady comments on social media. Shit, I’ve been in a situation where a chick was throwing darts at me online and we were still very much together. In any case, my ears didn’t perk up until Budden responded to the rumors at a live episode of The Joe Budden Podcast.

Now, while speaking to his audience, Budden asked if a relationship can be over if neither person verbally said it was over. In addition, he stated that he hasn’t talked to Santana in weeks and that she moved her shit out. Side note, uh, don’t they have a kid together? So, wouldn’t her moving out also include their son? Yeah, I’m going to need Budden to move with a greater sense of urgency, fam. In any case, while Budden was pontificating about a wordless breakup, Santana was telling people on Twitter than actions speak louder than words.

Look, let me be perfectly clear here, bruh. If Santana left the crib, took their son AND stopped speaking to him, then yeah, that’s a breakup, son. Now, does that mean they can’t work it out? Of course not. However, if Budden is missing all of these telltale signs, then he might have no hope of getting his woman back, man. Keeping it a buck, I have no idea what they’re beefing about. But, he can’t be walking around this clueless, fam. Ay, Joey, go call her, brethren.

In the end, relationships can be a motherfucker, son. Hell, I’ve been in a relationship with the same woman for eleven years now, man. With that being said, I’m an expert in the vernacular of “when a woman’s fed up.” Ultimately, Budden needs to wake the fuck up if he wants to save his union. That is all. LC out.

Don’t Ruin ‘Avengers: Endgame’ For Me!

So, I played myself, son. Like, I waited too long to get Avengers: Endgame tickets, man. In any case, I have to wait until next week to get my IMAX 3D experience, fam. With that being said, I’d like to address all of my compatriots who are blessed to see the movie this weekend. From the bottom of my heart, DON’T RUIN THE FUCKING MOVIE FOR ME, BRUH!

On the real, I don’t have much to say, son. Frankly, I just know how social media works, man. Hell, most of the time, folks can’t WAIT to jump on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to spoil shit. Keeping it a buck, just by writing this post, I bet a couple of dummies are going to try and fuck shit up for me. However, I’m imploring everyone to not be a dick, fam. Please allow me to cry from joy in my own time, bruh.

In the end, that’s all I’ve got, son. Ultimately, waiting a week to see this movie is making me siiiiiiick, man. By and by, I need Thanos in my life, fam. At the end of the day, I’m probably going to have to quit social media until next week, bruh. That’s probably the only way for me to be safe. Well, besides my friends who have my number. But, in that case, I can just assault them. Yeah, that sounds about right. That is all. LC out.

Conor McGregor Isn’t Retiring

So, I won’t lie, son. I haven’t blogged in a little while because I burned myself out, man. I mean, after all of the work that went into putting out an album, I felt drained, fam. Side note, everybody should go listen to my The Charlemagne Renaissance album right now. Like, right now, bruh! It’s on Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal and whatever streaming service the homies created in their basement. In any case, I’m back today to call Conor McGregor’s bluff. All in all, I don’t believe he’s retiring for one second, folks.

Ok, for those who missed it, McGregor hit Twitter to announce his retirement from MMA. Apparently, thanks to all of that Floyd Mayweather and Proper No. 12 whiskey money, he doesn’t feel the need to fight again. Now, in theory, he’s right. Sh*t, during the course of his career, he’s sold countless PPV’s and has had countless highlights. For God’s sake, he’s responsible for 5 of the top 6 UFC PPV buys, son. Frankly, he couldn’t possibly become any bigger of a star, man. So, what’s left for him to do, fam?

With all of that being said, I’m still calling shenanigans, bruh. Listen, McGregor is a competitor, son. Ok, yes, he’s also a businessman, but he made it this far by being a warrior. The way I see it, he won’t call it a career until he fights both Khabib Nurmagomedov and Nate Diaz again. Look, based on pride alone, I don’t see him riding off into the sunset knowing that he couldn’t beat Khabib. I’d bet money that McGregor thinks he can take him in a rematch. I mean, he’s wrong, but I guarantee he’s going to try again, man. On top of that, the series with Diaz is tied 1-1. McGregor knows that this rivalry needs a definitive winner, fam.

In the end, all will be answered, bruh. Ultimately, McGregor may have some people fooled, but I’m not one of them, son. By and by, give him like 6 months, man. He’ll find a reason to get back into that Octagon, fam. At the end of the day, I’ll still be there to watch it. All I know is, he’d have much better luck against Diaz than Khabib. Keeping it a buck, McGregor can’t beat that monster from Dagestan, people. It just is what it is, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Will Anybody Learn From 6ix9ine’s Situation?

So, here we are, son? After all of the trolling and nonstop shenanigans, the shit has finally hit the fan, man. Now, let me be clear, fam. I would never wish this situation on anybody, bruh. Yeah, I’ve been critical of 6ix9ine in the past. All I can say is, I stand by everything I’ve said, brethren. However, there was no reason for his story to go so left, folks. All in all, 6ix9ine’s ordeal needs to be a wake-up call for the young ones out here. Frankly, street shit ain’t nothing to fuck with, people.

Ok, for those living under a rock, Daniel Hernandez, b.k.a. Tekashi 6ix9ine, is in a world of manure. Now, after being picked up by the Feds for all sorts of crimes, 6ix9ine decided to plead guilty. Moving on, in addition to copping to 9 felony charges, he’s also agreed to cooperate with authorities. Meaning, 6ix9ine is about to start telling on all of his Nine Trey brothers. Apparently, he’s already admitted to helping the crew shoot at people, rob people and move drugs.

Listen, I don’t want to seem preachy, but social media championed this nonsense, son. On the real, any time an OG tried to tell 6ix9ine to chill, they were called “haters” or “old” or whatever else, man. Any time someone advised him against his behavior, internet losers said he was “winning” because of his antics. Well, does this look like winning now? I mean, was all of the tomfoolery worth it? Shit, due to his potential cooperation, 6ix9ine might end up in the Witness Protection Program. So, tell me again how he’s “winning,” fam.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I hope all of these young cats learn something from this. By and by, there are certain elements that aren’t for play play, son. The streets are definitely one of those elements, man. At the end of the day, I’m certain that 6ix9ine would do all of this differently, man. Sad part is, he’ll most likely never get the chance, fam. *Sigh* C’est la vie, brethren. C’est la vie. LC out.

A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.