Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.