This Post Malone Album Is Crazy!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I have an odd viewpoint on Post Malone, man. On one hand, I judged him when he said that fuckity-fuck shit about not listening to Rap music for “deep” lyrics. In addition, I’ve already expressed my confusion about him being labeled a Hip Hop artist. On the other hand, I fucking love his music, fam. With all of that being said, his new album, Hollywood’s Bleeding, is fucking great, bruh. All in all, I guess my odd viewpoint will have to remain, folks.

Ok, for those who live under a rock, Post Malone just dropped his third album. Now, if anyone is unfamiliar with a Post Malone record, let me give a quick breakdown. Basically, it’s a bunch of really good Pop songs, son. I mean, with the ever-present help of songwriters Louis Bell and Billy Walsh, Malone just keeps making catchy shit, man. Like, there’s nothing deeper than that, fam. Post Malone just makes catchy music. The beats are great, the melodies are great, the songs are well-structured and the lyrics are serviceable. Frankly, it’s what I want from my Pop music, bruh. Just good ol’ catchy ass tunes, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say here, son. Ultimately, there’s no greater message in this post, man. By and by, it makes perfect sense that Malone always seems to hover near the top of the Billboard charts. At the end of the day, he makes songs that stick in people’s heads, fam. In any case, below are some of my favorite tracks from the album. Enjoy, muhfuckas! That is all. LC out.

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Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

What’s Wrong With Nicki Minaj?

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Originally, I had no interest in speaking about any of Nicki Minaj‘s shenanigans. Frankly, I don’t care about her issues with DJ Self, Dream Doll, Mariah Lynn or Jessica Dime. I don’t care about her petty feud with Cardi B or her longstanding beef with Safaree. On the real, I’ve always believed that Minaj is way too successful to do half of the petty shit she does. However, her rant about “beating” Travis Scott in album sales is purely nonsensical, man. All in all, what type of shit is she on, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Minaj went deep into her “Twitter fingers” bag (word to Meek Mill). Now, her latest round of tomfoolery came as a result of her recent album sales. So, as some of us may know, Minaj dropped her Queen album last week. Anyway, the Billboard 200 numbers just came out and, needless to say, Ms. Minaj is not thrilled, bruh. Based on the calculations, her new album debuted at number-two, behind Scott’s ASTROWORLD.

Now, for most logical people, that would be the end of the story. But, nah, not for Minaj, son. Shit, instead of just celebrating a successful album, she took to Twitter to air her “grievances.” First, she criticized Scott for using tour bundles to boost his sales. Apparently, he’s including his album in the merchandise he’s selling. Side note, this ain’t even new, man. I mean, Prince, the Gawd himself, did the same thing with his Musicology album. Anyway, Minaj also poked at Scott for using Kylie Jenner and Stormi Webster to increase his hype. Hell, I guess it’s Scott’s fault that he procreated with a Jenner.

Look, this has to be a first, fam. Listen, I’ve never seen an artist explain why they have a number-two album. For God‘s sake, who the fuck cares, bruh? Like, why can’t Minaj just be happy? The last time I checked, Scott was minding his merry business, son. Real talk, I don’t see why Minaj felt it was necessary to diminish his accomplishments in order to lift herself up. Honestly, that’s counter to the “empowerment” she’s always preaching about. True empowerment isn’t built on the back of anyone else. Period.

In the end, Nicki Minaj’s constant need for validation is wack, man. Ultimately, someone at her level shouldn’t always have to prove themselves. By and by, her success should be enough for her. However, she always ends up trying to tell us that she’s great. All I can say is, it’s fucking unnecessary, fam. At the end of the day, Minaj needs to just take her numbers and go, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Is Post Malone Hip-Hop?

Look, off rip, let me be clear, son. This post has nothing to do with those “Real Hip-Hop” debates, man. I mean, I don’t think any person has the authority to define what “real” Rap is, fam. The way I see it, if the music is real to the rapper, then it’s real, bruh. But, that doesn’t mean I have to like the shit, folks. All in all, that’s why music is considered to be subjective. With all of that being said, I’m only questioning the Rap credentials of Post Malone for one reason: he doesn’t actually rap, people. So, why is his music categorized as Rap music?

Ok, let me be honest, son. Listen, I actually like Post Malone, man. Now, I’m well aware of the fact that he’s made problematic statements in the past. I’m aware of the fact that he stated there’s no substance in Rap lyrics. Real talk, I don’t even need to explain why those were some idiotic fucking words, fam. On the real, any man who made the song “Rockstar” can’t talk about substance, bruh. For God‘s sake, he’s talking about doing cocaine and smashing groupies in the fucking chorus! Frankly, he doesn’t have the clout to make those kind of assertions, people.

In any case, despite his occasional fuckery, I actually jam out to his tunes, son. Keeping it a buck, although “White Iverson” is meh, “Deja Vu” is dope and “Congratulations” is dope, along with “Psycho,” “Ball for Me” and “Sugar Wraith.” Moving on, regardless of my affinity for those tracks, they all have one thing in common: he doesn’t rap at all. Hell, he sings on EVERY song he makes. So, why do media outlets and streaming services label him as a rapper? Shit, I guess the bigger question is, in 2018, what the hell is Rap music? I ask because these newer artists are making it harder to define, man.

Listen, I had a similar question after listening to Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight by Travi$ Scott. Now, I know that he’s dropped bars in the past. But, on that particular album, it was damn near all harmonizing. So, what makes it Hip-Hop? Is it the 808‘s? Is it the fashion? Is it the jewelry? All I know is, I can’t put my finger on any of this shit anymore, fam. Look, I’m not complaining, especially since I’m a fan of some of these newer artists. However, I’m just pointing out something that’s a little weird, bruh.

In the end, I’m just thinking out loud, son. Ultimately, I’m not trying to tell anyone what to listen to, man. By and by, I just let people do whatever it is they do, fam. At the end of the day, it’s not my call, bruh. Anyway, let me get back to this Gospel, folks. Fred Hammond keeps me from assaulting people at work. Good day. LC out.

More Dumb Sh*t From Lil Wayne

So, Lil Wayne said some more fuck shit, huh? I mean, at this point, none of us should be surprised, but it’s still stunning nonetheless. It’s amazing how one man can display such arrogance while in the depths of idiocy. Then again, we’ve all been watching Donald Trump run for president over the last year, so what do I know? In any case, let’s review the latest brand of nonsense uttered by Dwayne Carter.

Now, I could paraphrase what Wayne said, but I’d rather let everyone read what he said for themselves. During an interview with ABC‘s Nightline, the interviewer asked him about his thoughts regarding Black Lives Matter. This was his response:

“That just sounds weird. I don’t know, that you put a name on it. It’s not a name, it’s not ‘whatever, whatever’. It’s somebody got shot by a policeman for a fucked up reason. I am a young, Black, rich motherfucker. If that don’t let you know that America understand Black motherfuckers matter these days, I don’t know what it is. That man White, he filming me. I’m a nigga. I don’t know what you mean, man. Don’t come at me with that dumb ass shit, ma’am. My life matter. Especially to my bitches. I don’t feel connected to a damn thing that ain’t got nothing to do with me.”

*Sigh* I… Wait, no. No! I’m not going to do this again, man. I’ve commented on these sellout ass Black celebrities too many times now. I’ve already written about A$AP Rocky, Young Thug, Travi$ Scott and Cam Newton. Hell, I’ve even written about some other Uncle Tom shit Lil Wayne said in the past. As a matter of fact, that’s how we’re going to proceed, son. I want everyone to just go and read my “Racism, As Told By Lil Wayne” post. Seriously, either click the hyperlink or click the link at the bottom of this post. I’m completely over these clown ass Black celebrities, son. Thanks to all of them for being disgraces to the community. Good day.

https://icantbefamous.com/2016/09/14/racism-as-told-by-lil-wayne/

Who Pissed In Kid Cudi’s Cereal?

Man, what would Twitter be if it wasn’t a venue for celebrities to lose their shit in a barrage of 140 characters? Honestly, ain’t that the best part of following public figures on social media, son? With that being said, I’d like to thank Kid Cudi for throwing all types of shots at Kanye West and Drake yesterday. While I’m not sure who rubbed their nuts on Cudi’s Corn Flakes, I’m absolutely here for the show, bro. Now, let’s get to it.

Now, I have to be honest, son, I don’t know where to start with this story. This is mainly because it has so many layers and they’re all hilarious. So, apparently, Cudi stubbed his toe on a staircase bannister and then decided to fire off some tweets. At first, Cudi spoke in generalizations about artists who consider themselves Top 5 despite having “30 people” write for them. He continued to wax poetically about how the “fake ones” won’t last and he even used my favorite word in the universe: fuckery. Now, even though he shouted out artists like A$AP Rocky and Travis Scott, he made it perfectly clear his derision was aimed at Kanye and Drake.

While I have no idea what these two dudes did to Cudi, he firmly declared the notion that neither one of them care about him. In his mind, they only needed him when he had something to offer them. Furthermore, he believes they only kept him close because of how “powerful” he is. Look, it sounds like a bunch of BFF beef to me, but I can’t fault a man for feeling the way he feels. However; that doesn’t mean I can’t laugh at how emotional these tweets are, bro. I mean, let’s be real, Cudi did the same thing on Twitter that Kanye does on a regular basis. At this point, Kanye is Regal Ruler of Random Ranting and Rambling. No wonder him and Cudi were friends for so long, son.

With all of that being said, there was NO way word was going to get back to Kanye without a response. During his Saint Pablo tour stop in Tampa, Yeezy decided to respond to his former protégé. After a flurry of comments like “I birthed you” and “don’t never mention Ye name,” Kanye expressed being hurt because he was the first one to be called names for wearing skinny jeans. Ok, he didn’t necessarily say that was the only reason he was upset, but c’mon son, he literally brought up wearing skinny jeans first. So, a former mentee airs him out and that’s one of the first things that comes to his mind? I swear, Kanye is one of the funniest human beings on the planet, son. Any man that can mention skinny jeans and Malcolm X is adjoining sentences is a genius, bro.

In the end, can’t we all just get along, man? Look, I’ll give Cudi his credit, son. While I’m not his biggest fan, I’m well aware of the wave he started. He was a driving force behind Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak, which essentially created Drake’s whole aesthetic. So, yeah, his influence can’t be denied. However; I don’t see how this ends well for him. I mean, regardless of what Cudi puts out musically, I doubt it can harm the reign of Drake and Kanye. In case he forgot, they’re the two biggest rappers on the planet. And no, this isn’t up for debate, son. They just are. It is what it is, bro. Good day.

P.S. I know Drake responded to Cudi too, but I can’t help but shoulder shrug, son. Once again, he takes shots onstage, but he probably ain’t got no bars for Cudi. Until then, miss me with the jokes. I’m out.