Donald Trump Just Fired The Dude Investigating Him

Son, what the fuck is going on right now? Like, Donald Trump and company must really think we’re stupid, man. Then again, he was actually voted into office, so the American people are clearly stupid. In any case, there is no way, NO WAY that someone can convince me that James Comey’s firing was justified! I mean, this entire situation reeks of insidiousness and underhanded behavior, fam. Look, no Earthly creature can tell me that this decision wasn’t related to Comey’s investigation of the Trump administration. With that being said, we need to figure out this Russia connection before it’s too late.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one particular point: I don’t like James Comey. Listen, even though Hillary Clinton’s campaign made NUMEROUS errors, the fruitless FBI investigation into her emails ended up hurting her electability. Bruh, Comey reopened the investigation TWO WEEKS before people went to the polls! To make matters worse, the Feds weren’t even looking at her emails directly. They were probing through the emails of Huma Abedin, Clinton’s right-hand woman. In the end, what results did this investigation yield? NOT A FUCKING THING, MAN! So, ultimately, Comey royally screwed Clinton.

Moving on, this is exactly why the White House’s explanation for firing Comey doesn’t make sense. All in all, everything I just wrote in the last paragraph happened in the summer and fall of 2016. If Comey was such a liability, why didn’t they fire him as soon as Trump took office? As a matter of fact, as recently as January, Trump said that Comey would keep his job. There were literally no new developments in the Clinton saga, so how could that be the reason for relieving him of duty? Nah, son, they decided to fire Comey when he announced an inquiry into the links between Trump’s administration and Russia. The timeline is clear as day, son. So, miss me with the bullshit misdirection, man.

By and by, we’re witnessing something EXTREMELY dangerous right now. Look, it’s only been a couple of months and Trump has already set the precedent of firing people who question him. He fired Sally Yates for refusing to enforce the Muslim Ban. He fired Preet Bharara for investigating questionable decisions by members of Trump’s team. Now, he fired Comey. Fam, this isn’t a fucking television show! This man can’t just fire people for ratings. Ultimately, all of these actions could have scary consequences for our democracy. All I know is, a reality star has turned our country into a terrible reality show. LC out.

P.S. For anyone who doubts my logic here, just think about the fact that Jeff Sessions was the man who suggested removing Comey. Lest we forget, Sessions had to recuse himself from the Russia investigation because he was balls deep in the fuckery. So, tell me again how all of this isn’t related? Yeah, I thought so. That is all.

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Sh*t Just Got Real In Syria!

So, I won’t lie, son. I have very conflicted emotions about last night’s Tomahawk missile attack on Syria. Now, on one hand, Bashar al-Assad needs to get the fuck outta Dodge. He’s been terrorizing his own people for far too long and it’s created a refugee crisis in both Europe and America. In addition, this same refugee crisis has had a profound impact on both our presidential election and Brexit. On the other hand, Donald Trump and his administration have been completely hypocritical in how they’ve handled this situation. With that being said, by attacking Syria, Trump has shown that he cares more about the gesture than the actual people.

Now, to be clear, I’m probably going to be reiterating a lot of shit I said in yesterday’s post. Look, I find it preposterous that Trump can block Syrian refugees in two different travel bans, warn Barack Obama against attacking Syria and then turn around and call for action. All I want to know is, where was all of this vitriol when Assad was killing his people before?

On the real, where was all of this fire when a little boy lost his entire family in Aleppo? Why did it take a chemical attack for our government to take these people’s pain seriously? Look, I’m sorry, man, but I’m not rolling with the idea that this administration suddenly gives a fuck. In the span of one week, Rex Tillerson went from saying that Assad would most likely stay in power to claiming that a coalition is now in place to remove him. Wow, the flip flop is fucking crazy, son.

Moving on, now that we’ve taken this action, how will Russia proceed? Listen, I haven’t forgotten about the congressional investigation, but this type of military strike could garner a response. Hell, Vladimir Putin has already condemned the move and the Kremlin proclaimed that the risk of collision between the two nations has “significantly increased.” Man, what the fuck does that mean? Are we really about to get into some shit with Russia too? Bruh, this could be the making of some real World War III shit. Are we really ready to go down this path? Shit, everybody seems to have nukes now, man. Ultimately, this entire situation could be catastrophic, son.

In the end, I don’t know what to make of all of this, fam. Assad needs to be removed, but the next step is so unknown. All in all, everyone needs to brace themselves. Some wild shit may be on the horizon, son. LC out.

Can Donald Trump Stop Politicizing Syria?

To begin, I just have one question. Is there literally NO issue that won’t be politicized? I mean, why must every situation and circumstance become some ideological debate? Look, some things just aren’t politics, son. Why can’t our government understand that? All I know is, a chemical attack in Syria is not the time to bash a previous administration. With that being said, can Donald Trump stop politicizing the deaths of Syrian people?

Now, before I continue, let’s just get one fallacy out of the way. Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about the citizens of Syria. First, he tried to block Syrian refugees from entering our country in not one but TWO travel bans! Innocent men, women and children have been trying to flee from Bashar al-Assad’s wrath for years now. Trump has been the main proponent of denying them help. So, am I now supposed to believe he gives two shits about their well-being? Man, get the fuck out of here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, during Barack Obama’s presidency, Trump constantly used Twitter to try and deter Obama from acting on Syria. Shit, as recently as 2013, Trump asserted that Syria was “not our problem.” Hell, just last week, Rex Tillerson, our current Secretary of State, stated that Assad’s tenure should be “decided by the Syrian people.” Now, the entire administration wants to change course and berate Obama for not doing something about Syria sooner. Man, these clowns have GOT to be fucking kidding me, man! The hypocrisy is so blatant that it literally hurts my head, son.

Look, at some point, Trump has to realize that he’s the President now. He can’t keep blaming the previous administration for issues that are happening under his watch. If Trump really gave a shit about Syria, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep their refugees out of our country. In addition, if he were really serious, he would grow some balls and call Vladimir Putin out. Lest we forget, Russia is one of Assad’s biggest allies. Despite this fact, nobody in Trump’s administration has even uttered a word about Putin. Hmmmmmm, I wonder why, son. Could it have anything to do with a congressional investigation? Listen, I’m just saying, bruh.

Ultimately, Trump wanted to ban Syrians from our country, he accused their refugees of being ISIS and now I’m supposed to believe he cares? *Sigh* I truly, truly hate our political system, man. All in all, it’s despicable to politicize death. That’s exactly what Trump and company are doing. Let’s just call a spade a spade, son. LC out.

Can We Finally Talk About Homegrown Terrorists?

Now, before I say anything else, I’d like to give my regards to the families who were affected by the recent terror attack in London, England. No matter how many times these travesties happen, it’s always incredibly sad to watch. With that being said, there’s a conversation that needs to be had, man. Can we finally talk about homegrown terrorists? I mean, if we really looked at the most egregious attacks in recent years, they’ve all been perpetrated by citizens. At some point, we need to stop politicizing everything and speak on the real issues. Our own people are being radicalized and it’s destroying our respective nations.

So, when it comes to Wednesday’s incident, the horrific deed was carried out by Khalid Masood. As a recap, Masood got in his car, drove on the pavement and started running down pedestrians. Ultimately, he killed four people and injured fifty more. Now, it’s notable that Masood was born as Adrian Russell Elms in Dartford, Kent. Meaning, he was a product of the same land he just terrorized. Somewhere along the line, he got radicalized by ISIS and carried out a heinous act of violence. Apparently, even though he had a criminal record, he wasn’t under any investigation for this type of behavior.

Moving on, Masood’s act continues a dangerous trend that seems to be flying under the radar. A large number of the most despicable acts against people are being committed by natives. I mean, let’s go down the line, man. Dylann Roof, the Charleston church shooter, was born in South Carolina. Rizwan Farook, the San Bernardino shooter, was born in Illinois. Omar Mateen, the Orlando nightclub shooter, was born in New York. Alexandre Bissonnette, the Quebec mosque shooter, was French Canadian. Does anyone else see the pattern here? In all seriousness, the most vicious attacks in recent years were all committed by citizens. So, if that’s the case, why the fuck are we always talking about travel bans and border walls?!

Look, if people like Donald Trump really want to keep America safe, then we need to address our homegrown killers. On the real, a wall along the Mexican border and a Muslim Ban wouldn’t have prevented ANY of these incidents, man. So, how will they make any of us safer? I mean, it’s common fucking sense, son. We need to figure out why so many citizens are turning their backs on their countries and becoming radicals. If not, none of these ridiculous preventative measures will have any type of effect. Shit, more people will die and all we’ll do is argue about the root cause in the media. Ultimately, nothing will get accomplished, man.

In the end, these are scary times, son. The problem is, if we don’t come up with real solutions now, the times will only get scarier. Now, instead of focusing so much on what other countries are doing, can we pay attention to our own people? Ok, thanks. LC out.

Get Van Jones The F*ck Outta Here!

On the real, this Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here series is becoming way too common, man. I feel like I’m doing at least one new edition every week, son. In any case, I never thought I’d see the day when I would have to turn my crosshairs on Van Jones. The CNN-contributor has long been a vocal opponent of Donald Trump. However; after Trump’s speech on Tuesday, Jones decided to tuck his tail in between his legs. In one instant, Jones invalidated every stance he previously took. How? By insinuating that one speech could possibly change the course of Trump’s administration.

Now, Van Jones’ foolishness is baffling for a few reasons. He’s the same man who coined the phrase “Whitelash” while trying to explain why White voters backed Trump. Previously, he’s been very critical of Trump’s rhetoric and decision-making. Fast forward to Tuesday, Trump finally gave a speech in which he didn’t behave like an absolute child. All of a sudden, Jones changed his tune and said Trump “became President of the United States” after his performance. Taking it a step further, Jones praised Trump’s tribute to fallen Navy SEAL Ryan Owens. He called it “one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics, period.” This statement is mind-boggling because it completely negates the fact that Trump got that man killed in the first place.

Look, are we really supposed to be moved by the standing ovation for Owen’s widow, Carryn Owens? Her husband would still be alive if Trump’s administration wasn’t so poorly prepared for that raid in Yemen. Owens and an assortment of children, who no one talks about, ended up dying for outdated al-Qaeda intelligence. For example, one of the bomb-making videos recovered in that raid has been online since 2007. Was that a good enough reason for a soldier to die? I didn’t think so. Shut the fuck up, Van Jones!

Listen, Van, if you ever happen to read this, let me speak to you directly. Did Trump’s speech make you forget about Michael Flynn? Did Trump’s speech make you forget about the fact that Jeff Sessions perjured himself in regards to his contact with Russia? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that he’s trying to rewrite the Muslim Ban with newer parameters? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that Steve Bannon literally said he’s trying to “deconstruct” the administration? Man, AIN’T SHIT CHANGED! I refuse to believe that you’re THAT dumb to fall for a dude who was simply reading off of a teleprompter.

In the end, Van Jones played himself. Anytime someone loses their credibility, it’s almost impossible to get it back, son. All in all, I hope Jones has fun being a clown. Ultimately, that’s exactly what he is now. LC out.

Get The Muslim Ban The F*ck Outta Here!

Shiiiiiit, how does Donald Trump like those judges and courts now, son? After violating the rights of numerous refugees, green card holders and visa carriers, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals told Trump to take his Muslim Ban and shove it. Ok, no, they didn’t say it in those words, but the court voted to uphold the block on the travel ban. With that being said, maybe Trump and his administration will now put a REAL plan in place to monitor potential terrorism. However; based on Trump’s response on Twitter, we shouldn’t hold our breath, man.

So, this entire saga started when James Robart, a district judge in Seattle, put a temporary ban on Trump’s travel order. This was done after both Washington and Minnesota sued. Due to the unconstitutional travel ban, many innocent people, including students, were being detained at various airports. The legality of Trump’s executive order was always in question, and when the case went before the appeals court, the three-person staff upheld Robart’s decision. Judges Michelle Friedland, William Canby Jr. and Richard Clifton unanimously determined that the government had no evidence to support the theory that anyone from the seven countries listed perpetrated any attacks in America. So, it was very reasonable for them to shoot this stupid ass executive order down.

Of course, Trump took to Twitter to berate the judges. I mean, that’s his MO, right? He vows to take this matter all the way to the Supreme Court, but that could take months to be resolved. If Trump is really serious about protecting the country, maybe he should have Steve Bannon draft an order that doesn’t violate people’s basic rights. If time is really of the essence, as he claims, he shouldn’t be wasting time trying to take this to the highest court. In my eyes, Trump only cares about winning and not about doing what’s right for the people. As of right now, he needs to hold this L and regroup. How about going after actual terrorists and not aunts and uncles who are just trying to see their families? I mean, that’s just a suggestion, son.

In the end, fuck Trump, Bannon and their First Amendment-ignoring Muslim Ban. Our country already has a strenuous vetting program that doesn’t break the law. I can say that because I’m a first-generation American who has plenty of family members who’ve had to deal with this country’s immigration policy. *Sigh* Once again, get Donald Trump the fuck outta here, son! LC out.