Let’s Talk About Mental Health

So, I won’t lie, son. The suicides of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain threw me for a loop, man. Now, my wife is way more familiar with Spade than me, but I was always a big fan of Bourdain, fam. In any case, their respective deaths hit close to home for me, bruh. Look, I’m no stranger to talking about mental health on this blog, folks. On the real, I’ve written multiple articles about my own struggles with depression. All I know is, we need to talk WAY more openly about mental illness. Frankly, it could save our life or the life of a loved one.

Ok, real talk, I’m not going to go into much depth about the particulars of Spade’s and Bourdain’s deaths. Shit, that’s what Google is for, son. However, I want to talk about depression and the damage it can do to our psyches, man. Now, for me, I can’t say that I’ve ever contemplated suicide. But, there were definitely times in my life where I didn’t care if I lived or died. Like, I never cut my wrists or tried to hang myself, but I would FREQUENTLY drive highly intoxicated. In my mind, if I happened to just run off of the road, I wouldn’t really give a shit, fam.

Now, as ashamed as I am to say this, being a father didn’t immediately change my destructive behavior. Keeping it a buck, my first son was barely a year old when I was in danger of losing my family. My then-girlfriend (now-wife) broke up with me because of my emotional distance, excessive drinking, partying and infidelity. Real talk, I knew I needed to make a change and FAST. Since college, my homie Mitch suggested therapy, but I always resisted. All I can say is, at that time, I knew it was now or never, bruh.

Anyway, I told that entire story because I want to stress the importance of getting help, son. Honestly, I didn’t even know I had mental issues until I saw someone. From there, so much of my previous behavior started to make sense, man. Listen, I was using all of my vices as coping mechanisms as opposed to getting to the root of the problem. Sadly, I don’t know what was eating at both Spade and Bourdain. All I can say is, it’s truly heartbreaking that they weren’t able to find the relief they desperately needed, fam.

In the end, I don’t want anyone to feel alone, son. If anybody is having mental issues or thoughts of suicide, there’s an outlet, man. Ultimately, there’s therapy and/or medication to help with those cognitive struggles. There are prevention hotlines to help curve those suicidal thoughts. Furthermore, even if we’re not the ones having the problems, I want all of us to be a helping hand and/or ear to anyone who is struggling. At the end of the day, I wish individuals like Spade and Bourdain saw the beauty in their respective lives. But, it’s not to late for those who are still here. That is all. LC out.

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Depression Is A B*tch

So, I won’t lie, son. This post is a little hard for me to write, man. I mean, as much as I engage with the outside world, I’m still a pretty private person. In any case, at this particular moment, I feel like being transparent with everyone. Not only for my own well-being, but for anyone else who may be in my shoes. All in all, depression is a bitch and I know it affects a large number of folks out there.

Ok, anyone who follows this blog knows that I took a week off from writing recently. Now, as a disclaimer, I told people that I was taking a break because I was “burned out.” The truth is, my longtime depression has been kicking me in the ass for some weeks now. Frankly, I didn’t want to write about anything, fam. In addition, I haven’t wanted to go to work and I’ve had no interest in answering phone calls. *Sigh* I guess those are the breaks when depression rears its ugly ass head, bruh.

Now, if I’m being real, I believe a lot of my current state is due to anxiety. Namely, anxiety about the future. Look, anyone who knows me knows that I live in my head. I’m constantly planning and constantly trying to figure out my next move. Anyway, despite the fact that life is going really well right now, I’m still trying to map out the road ahead of me. For example, I’m trying to figure out where my career is going. Also, I’m trying to figure out where this blog is going. Hell, I’m even trying to figure out where my music is going. All of this while trying to be the best husband and father I can be. By and by, I’m trying my hardest to ignore that annoying ass self-deprecating voice in my head.

With all of that being said, I am super thankful for the people who check in on me. In all honesty, this post isn’t really about LC at all. On the real, I want to talk to anybody out there who may be going through their own issues at the moment. Listen, don’t be afraid to reach out to family and friends. Don’t be afraid to speak up about any trials or tribulations. Real talk, there’s no need to feel ashamed about it. A lot of times, people don’t get help because of their own personal hang-ups. All I can say is, none of us should let our idiosyncrasies hold us back from getting better. In the end, like I said in a previous post, it’s okay to not be okay. Ultimately, acknowledging it is the only way to move forward. That is all. LC out.