Shut Up, Faizon Love

So, let’s play a quick game, son. It’s called Irrelevant People Do Weird Shit For 5 Seconds Of Attention. All I know is, Faizon Love currently has the high score in this game, man. Look, his unfounded criticism of Dave Chappelle just REEKS of desperation, fam. Hell, maybe I’d be bitter too if everything I did was inconsequential, bruh. All in all, Love needs to go somewhere with his pathetic hate, folks. At the end of the day, his opinion, like his career, doesn’t really matter.

Ok, for those who missed it, Love decided to jump out of the window over Dave Chappelle. Now, it seems as if Love has been on a crusade to prove that Chappelle doesn’t deserve his accolades. Why? Who the fuck knows, son. All I can say is, he’s stating his opinions as fact, man. However; he can’t back up any of the horse shit coming out of his mouth. Listen, when it comes to arts like comedy, fandom is subjective. But, discrediting another person’s rise to the top is some whole other shit, fam. With that being said, this is where Love needs to sit the fuck down, bruh.

Now, the fuckery began when Love insinuated that Chappelle was a Hollywood creation. Off top, that’s a bunch of nonsense, son. Look, when Chappelle’s Show began on Comedy Central, he barely had a budget, man. Fam, there were numerous interviews where Chappelle talked about the show’s humble beginnings and how the network didn’t necessarily believe in it at first. Real talk, it wasn’t until the success of that first season that Comedy Central put more muscle behind the program. Anyway, that brings me to my next point, bruh.

Listen, no one can deny the influence of Charlie Murphy on Chappelle’s Show. However; the idea that he alone made the show funny is pure nonsense, son. Like I previously said, there was an ENTIRE first season of the show before Murphy’s “True Hollywood Stories” segments about Rick James and Prince. On the real, Murphy brought a lot of classic material to the program, but Chappelle was killing the game beforehand, man.

Next, let’s talk about Love’s comparison of Chappelle and Kevin Hart. Now, like I said before, comedy is subjective, fam. However; the idea that Chappelle is a Hollywood invention and Hart is not is fucking LUDICROUS, bruh! Look, I’m a big fan of Hart’s stand-up specials. But, is Love trying to tell me that the guy who’s in Jumanji with The Rock isn’t being backed by Hollywood? Man, get the FUCK outta here, son! Keeping it a buck, NONE of Love’s hot takes make any sense, folks.

Look, let me explain what’s going on here, people. Now, when I think about Love’s career, the first thing that pops up is Friday. After that, I briefly remember him on The Parent ‘Hood. After that, I can’t think of anything else until the recently-released The New Edition Story. Basically, he’s been in the game for decades and has barely made a wave, son. So, it makes sense that he’s hating on all of Chappelle’s accomplishments. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle got $60 million from Netflix. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle just won a Grammy. Real talk, those who can’t do go on The Breakfast Club and hate. By and by, it’s a full-blown sucker move, man.

In the end, I hope Love does something with his momentary spotlight. Ultimately, that man doesn’t speak for me, son. He really had the nerve to claim that Chappelle never made Black people laugh. However; as a Black dude who hangs out with mostly Black people, that’s a bunch of bullshit, man. *Sigh* Maybe if Love had more shit going for him, then he wouldn’t be worrying about another man’s success. Well, let me go back to my regular life, fam. Which doesn’t include even remotely thinking about Faizon Love. That is all. LC out.

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I Don’t Want Celebrities Running For President

So, I won’t lie, son. I can already see some of the angry responses I might get for this post, man. However; I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. Look, Oprah Winfrey don’t need to be the damn President, bruh! In fact, NO celebrity needs to be the President, people! Listen, even though I believe Donald Trump is insane, I also believe he’s shown us that we need experience in the Oval Office. Shit, I can’t even be a computer repairman without some experience. With that being said, why should we shirk credibility for the highest job in the land?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear, son. On the real, I have nothing against Oprah, man. I mean, her influence in media goes without saying. So, there’s no way I can hate on anyone who’s accomplished as much as she has. However; what the fuckity-fuck does Oprah know about government, fam? Look, we’re not talking about the community board, fam. We’re talking about President of the United States! Real talk, when did it become cool for a novice to be the most powerful person in the world? I swear, Trump has truly, TRULY ruined politics, bruh.

Look, let’s be honest for a second, folks. Celebrities are only talking about running because the bar has been lowered. Hell, I’m sure the average celeb believes they’re more sane than Trump, so that means they could hold office. However; President Orange was never qualified in the first place, son. So, he should NEVER be a comparison point for any of these other famous people. With that being said, Oprah isn’t qualified to be President, The Rock isn’t qualified to be President and neither is Kanye West. For the love of God, please leave our elected offices to people who have at least ran a district before! All in all, the madness needs to stop, man!

In the end, can we chill with the shenanigans, fam? Ultimately, car salesmen don’t need to build cars and television personalities don’t need to be President. By and by, Oprah has all of the power in the world and can pull the strings behind the scene. That doesn’t mean she has the first clue about how to run the country. All I know is, she helped Barack Obama and she can help another qualified candidate. Now, if she wants to join local politics and then move up, I can jive with that. However; the White House off the rip? No thanks. LC out.

Wait… People Really Want The Rock To Run For President?!

Fam, what in tarnation is going on around here? Like, is this the world that Donald Trump has created? Do people really think that absolutely ANYONE can be President now? Bruh, this shit needs to stop ASAP! No, The Rock does not need to run for government, son. Listen, the man is an actor and a wrestler. He has NO qualifications for the highest office in the world, man. All in all, politics needs to be left to the politicians. The clown shows need to cease, fam.

So, how did we get here? Well, we can thank Kenton Tilford from West Virginia. Now, this dude actually started a campaign committee and filed to draft Dwayne Johnson for President. Like, I can’t make this shit up, son. Listen, the committee, named “Run the Rock 2020,” is actually a real thing, man. Apparently, Tilford believes that Johnson can provide “real leadership” and even created the hashtag #MakeAmericaRockAgain.

Look, I won’t lie, son. This bullshit has made me despise Trump even more, man. Shit, this is the climate he’s created. He’s founded a world where political experience doesn’t matter anymore. Hell, every time he makes some ridiculous move, his defenders just chalk it up to him being a “political novice.” Well, that means he doesn’t deserve the fucking job, man! Bruh, I can’t just roll up into Toyota and say “I’m going to make the next car.” Nah, I don’t know shit about building vehicles, fam! Listen, I’d probably get physically thrown out of the building, people.

To be fair, I’m a huge fan of The Rock. While his movies can be hit or miss, he’s a muhfucking legend in the squared circle, son. On the real, I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve called someone a “jabroni,” man. Keeping it a buck, no one has lived a full life until they ask someone a  question, wait for them to answer and then yell “it doesn’t matter!” With that being said, Johnson doesn’t need to be our damn President, fam. At this point, our country is already in shambles because we gave a television star the nuclear codes. Let’s not continue our buffoonery, bruh.

In the end, the novelty has worn off, fam. On the real, I just want politicians to hold political offices. Now, while I may hate a lot of them, at least I can say that they know how government works. By and by, I’m just tired of seeing our elected officials look like sideshow attractions. That is all. LC out.

Can I Live In Cam Newton’s America?


Let me start this post by saying, I’m not sure what America our good friend Cam Newton resides in, but shiiiiiiit, I’d love to live there. A country that’s beyond racism? That sounds phenomenal, son. Where can I sign up for a trip to this magical place? Oh, wait, he’s talking about this actual land we’re currently living in? Well, in that case, I’m thoroughly confused as all hell, man.

Now, recently, Cam did an interview with GQ Magazine. While speaking about a variety of different topics, the subject of race came up and that’s what caused my Rock eyebrow to raise. It’s no secret Cam has received his fair share of bad press, especially after the way his season ended post-Super Bowl. Even during the lead-up to the big game, Cam had to consistently field questions about being a Black quarterback in the NFL. With all of the varying attacks on his ability, temperament or whatever else critics tried to single out, for some reason, Cam doesn’t believe these shots were racially motivated at all. In fact, he stated that we’re “beyond that” as a nation. Wow, that’s news to me, son. Well, since his memory seems to be a little fuzzy, allow me to point out a few past situations and see whether his logic holds up.

Let’s start with the letter written to him by Rosemary Plorin. After a game where Newton’s Carolina Panthers trounced the Tennessee Titans, Plorin expressed her disappointment in Cam’s behavior during the game. In her eyes, he’s a role model who should never engage in any type of “showboating” behavior. In fact, she was so bothered by his actions, she expressed the idea she didn’t even know what to tell her 9-year-old daughter. Man, get the fuck out of here. This woman took her daughter to a game where grown men violently crash themselves into each other and she’s worried about the fact Cam likes to dab? Are you fucking kidding me, son? Last time I checked, Aaron Rodgers does that damn “Discount Double Check” every time he completes a first down and I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve seen footage of Rob Gronkowski acting a fool somewhere. Are these players also getting open letters written to them? If not, tell that woman to get off of her high horse and enjoy the game.

Now, let’s talk about Bill Romanowski. After the Panthers’ Super Bowl loss, detractors called out Cam for not being very forthcoming in his post-game interview. It was obvious from his attitude he didn’t want to answer any questions and his demeanor was the complete opposite of the celebratory character we saw all season. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, even I thought he was acting like a sore loser, but Romanowski took it a step further. In a tweet against Cam, he stated “you will never last in the NFL with that attitude. The world doesn’t revolve around you, boy!” Boy? Boy?! Maybe it’s just me, but I was pretty sure Cam was a 27-year-old grown ass man. No one can tell me there wasn’t even a tinge of racial prejudice behind that statement. Do I have to remind people about the history of White people calling Black people “boy” in this country? Honestly, I’d rather not, son. And besides, Google is everyone’s friend. Just go look it up.

At this point, I’m sure there are readers out there who aren’t sipping the Kool-Aid I’m serving right now. Honestly, that’s fine with me. We’ll just agree to disagree. With that being said, a Black public figure of his magnitude insisting we’re beyond race as a nation is still incredibly damaging. Were we beyond race when the Justice Department released a report stating the Baltimore police department regularly violated the rights of minorities? Were we beyond race when Dylann Roof shot night Black churchgoers in an attempt to start a race war? Were we beyond race when officers pulled Philando Castile over because he had a “wide set nose?” I didn’t think so, son. At this point, if Cam has nothing constructive to say on the subject, he needs to just shut the fuck up.

Ultimately, I guess Cam is doing his best O.J. Simpson impression. However; I’d warn him to be careful with that approach to life. We already saw how the O.J. story drastically veered off course. Good day.