Get DJ Envy The F*ck Outta Here!

Son, somebody tell DJ Envy to relax! I mean, I’m married with kids and even I thought he GROSSLY overreacted to Desus Nice and The Kid Mero. Look, for a dude who works on a show that CONSISTENTLY cracks on other people, it’s absolutely ridiculous that he can’t take a joke, man. All in all, I think there are two ways to look at this situation. In either case, Envy looks like a fucking clown, fam.

Ok, before I get to my analysis, let’s talk about how all of this fuckery began, bruh. Now, recently, Envy and his wife, Gia Casey, sat down with the hosts of The Real. During their segment, they talked about Envy’s infidelity and other issues that put a strain on their marriage. In any case, Envy admitted that his DJ persona was causing serious problems in his family life. By and by, that’s how he got embroiled in such tomfoolery as smashing Erica Mena.

Moving on, enter Desus and Mero. Now, during a segment on their Viceland show, Desus and Mero were cracking jokes, as they ALWAYS do. Anyway, Desus let a comment fly that it was probably easier for Gia to put up with Envy’s nonsense because of the money. Apparently, that was a step too far for Envy. With that being said, shit hit the proverbial fan when Desus and Mero went up to The Breakfast Club. So, off the rip, Envy introduced them as “Dickhead and Pussy.” Next, he demanded that they apologize to both him and his wife. In his eyes, they crossed the line by insinuating that Gia was only with him for the cash. Hell, he even went on an entire spiel about how they’ve been together since they were 15 and blah, blah, blah.

Now, after all of that, Desus and Mero actually apologized. However; that wasn’t enough for Envy. From there, he legit got up and walked out of the interview. All I know is, that was some super unprofessional shit, son. Listen, I truly believe Envy went above and beyond here. Good fucking Lord, it was a joke, man! Lighten the fuck up! This dude does a show with Charlamagne Tha God everyday and he has thin skin? Shit, it makes absolutely no sense, fam! Desus and Mero make fun of EVERYONE! That’s their job, bruh! If it was really a problem, they travel in the same circles. Envy could’ve handled this shit off-air, folks.

Look, even if people thought Envy was in the right for checking them, here’s another way to look at this: they apologized! Listen, Envy asked for an apology and he got it! So, what’s the fucking problem now? It’s fucking childish to demand an apology and then refuse to accept it. So, he overreacted to a minor joke AND refused to acknowledge that they were sorry. Nah, son, no one can explain that type of behavior to me. On the real, I personally can’t judge a man for cheating. But, let me say, that act is waaaaaay worse than anything Desus and Mero said, man.

In the end, someone tell DJ Envy to man the fuck up, fam. Ultimately, he needs to either grow tougher skin or act like an adult. By and by, he could’ve either let the joke roll or come to a sensible resolution. At the end of the day, he did neither of those things, bruh. So, I don’t feel sorry for the way the internet is killing him, people. When it’s all said and done, that’s what happens when bitchassness goes viral. LC out.


Ted Koppel Is A G… Ask Sean Hannity

Man, I rock with Ted Koppel. Nah, for real, for real, I rock with Ted Koppel, son. After watching his interview with Sean Hannity on CBS Sunday Morning, I was excited to see an actual journalist deconstruct today’s media. As it currently stands, opinions have replaced facts in our news and it’s exceedingly dangerous, man. With that being said, I applaud Koppel for calling out Hannity to his face. However; Hannity and Fox News aren’t the only ones to criticize. In my eyes, MSNBCCNN and countless other “news” networks all share some of the blame. Ultimately, all opinion shows disguised as news are bad for America.

Now, I won’t lie, son, when it comes to this subject, I argue a lot with my wife and my mother. To me, I see no difference between Fox News and MSNBC. Yes, the ideology is drastically different between the two channels, but they both engage in the same brand of propaganda. All jokes aside, Bill O’Reilly and Chris Matthews are the same person, man. They both have definitive beliefs and they both refuse to listen to any guest with a conflicting point of view. Instead of acknowledging someone else’s sentiment, they’d rather just cut them off or speak over them. On the real, I challenge anyone to watch both of their shows back-to-back. Once their respective dogma is removed, it becomes apparent that their approach to “news” is strikingly similar.

Look, didn’t I just scold Rachel Maddow on this very site for engaging in the tomfoolery? I mean, she took two pages of Donald Trump‘s 2005 tax return and spun an entire story out of nothing. Outside of quoting how much money he made and how much he paid in taxes, Maddow had no other spec of news to report. She just launched a series of hypotheticals that were designed to create an unproven narrative in the audience’s mind. *Sigh* I just want the damn news, son! Can I get that without someone trying to shape how I’m supposed to interpret it?

Moving on, I just want to make one thing clear. Is my blog based on my own personal point of view? Absolutely. With that being said, I’m not a journalist, man. I’m just a dude with an opinion and immaculate WiFi, son. I’m simply out here reacting to the world as it happens. We, the people, need the media to tell us the unbiased truth. That’s the only way we can truly make sense of everything. All I know is, I’m a firm believer that opinion-based media is largely responsible for the division in our country. The public can’t come together when information is always being spun and misrepresented.

In the end, Ted Koppel is a G, man. He’s one of the few who’s able to call a spade a spade. Now, if more journalists took this stance on the news, then maybe we’d actually have a shot of figuring out what’s really going on out here. But, then again, in the words of Desus Nice, by Bronx bredren, facts don’t matter. LC out.

P.S. This is very random, but shout-out to Ghostface Killah, son. Look, the entire time I was writing this post, I kept hearing the line “hit mics like Ted Koppel” in my head. With that being said, everyone should go listen to “Mighty Healthy” after reading this. That is all.

A Dissertation About Hillary Clinton, Emails & D*ck Pics

I know, I know, I know, son. I know I said I wasn’t going to write about this election anymore. But dammit, ridiculous things just keep on happening, man. All jokes aside, I’ve never seen an election of any kind with this much fuckery embedded in it. Real talk, I wholeheartedly believe a high school senate race has more ethics than this bullshit. I mean, look at all of the nonsense this myriad of adults has engaged in, son. With that being said, here we go again with Hillary Clinton’s emails, man. Eight days before a dire presidential election and the FBI is looking into her situation again, thanks to none other than Anthony Weiner.

Now, hasn’t this dude caused enough trouble in his lifetime? Hasn’t Carlos Danger ruined enough people already, man? It’s bad enough he can’t stop sending pictures of his dick to women, but now his ridiculous habit could have an effect on the election. Apparently, during an FBI probe into his underage sexting scandal, the bureau found some emails that could pertain to their previous investigation of Clinton’s private email server. The problem is, there are more than 1,000 emails for the bureau to sift through, which cannot possibly be done before we all vote next week. So, this situation could potentially alter the outcome and we’re not even sure if they’re going to find anything. As it stands, it seems as if they didn’t find any emails from Clinton directly, but her name appears to be swirling all throughout the muck and the mire.

At this point, facts really don’t matter here (shout-out to Desus Nice and The Kid Mero). It doesn’t matter if FBI Director James Comey broke protocol by announcing these findings publicly. The content of these emails don’t matter either, man. The reality is, perception is everything, son. It’s no secret that Hillary Clinton has a high disapproval rating and there are numerous people who don’t think she’s trustworthy. This situation is yet ANOTHER incident which lends credence to people’s fears that she’s just some corrupt politician with no regard for rules. In the end, that’s all her detractors need to plead their case against her. Regardless of what Democratic pundits try to say, these things matter in the eyes of the people. Soooooo, next Tuesday’s election should be very interesting and not in a good way, son. Not in a good way at all.

All in all, I have nothing else to say, man. I just want this election to be over. I simply want to know whether or not I need to buy a plane ticket out of this country. With that being said, next Tuesday can’t come soon enough. Good day.

The Bronx Is Burning: Desus & Mero Edition

To be clear, I support damn near everyone who represents the Bronx. No one is even allowed to say slanderous things about Big Pun, Wesley Snipes or Aaron Hall in my presence. Going further, I’m still convinced Kerry Washington and I have a future together. Hell, even Benny Blanco from Carlito’s Way gets love from me, son. I mean, let’s be real, he got Al Pacino’s character ALL THE WAY out of the paint, man. In any case, I consider myself the mascot for my borough. With that being said, I feel a personal investment in the success of Desus Nice and The Kid Mero. So, everyone out there needs to do the right thing and support their new show on Viceland.

Now, for those who are unaware, Desus and Mero rose to prominence by telling jokes on Twitter. After roasting almost every living human being on their respective timelines, they started to get shine on such platforms as Complex and MTV2. In addition, they also host a hilarious weekly podcast, The Bodega Boys, in conjunction with Red Bull. I mean, c’mon son, on what other podcast are the hosts going to say things like “fanut the choach” with legit sincerity? Where else in the world are we going to get frequent updates on the price of a kilo of cocaine? We all need to celebrate “the art” while it’s in front of us, son. We are all not worthy.

Ultimately, like I said before, I’m just happy to see folks from the Bronx winning. So, the only point that needs to be made is the fact their show on Viceland, Desus & Mero, airs every night at 11PM EST. Be good people and help minorities prosper, man. Shit, at the rate this country is deteriorating, Black and Brown people might only have a few more months left before we have to vacate America. Good day.