‘Fled Cruz’ Is Hilarious

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, the internet never ceases to be funny, man. I mean, no matter the situation, the online community will find a way to make shit hilarious. With that being said, the name “Fled Cruz” is a special brand of comical. Like, on what planet did Ted Cruz think it was cool to ditch Texas during the middle of a crisis? Shit, after his role in fanning the flames of the U.S. Capitol riot, one would think that Cruz would try to be as helpful as possible. But, nope, brethren. Instead, Cruz tried to bounce with his family and really thought that people wouldn’t notice. All in all, he’s a certified clown, fam.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Texas is a shit-show right now. Thanks to climate change, the state has been battered with unprecedented amounts of snow and ice. Because of this, millions of people are residing in frozen houses that are without power. To clarify, the motherfucking Texas power grid just gave up, bruh. Furthermore, because of these extraordinary times, resources such as food and water are becoming an issue for residents. So, during a moment like this, what should the community expect from its elected officials? They should be finding ways to rectify the power issues and get supplies to the people, right? Well, that’s not what Ted Cruz did. In fact, to get away from the problems of his fellow Texans, Cruz hopped on a plane with his family to Cancún, Mexico. *Sigh* He’s such a great Senator, son.

Now, here’s the thing. The fact is, Cruz can’t pretend like this was some planned trip. Based on leaked text messages, his wife, Heidi Cruz, put this vacation in motion because their “house is FREEZING.” Well, welcome to the club, Heidi. Frankly, all of her father’s constituents are in the same boat and a lot of them don’t have the ability to flee the scene. Keeping it a buck, how dense can one man be, fam? Like, did he really think this was a good idea? To abandon the people who voted for him? For God‘s sake, Ted Cruz continually shows us that he’s of low character. Hell, I guess promoting a riot wasn’t bad enough. Now he wants to take the easy way out while his people suffer. Bravo, fool.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, son. Ultimately, I’m not surprised by Cruz’ ain’t-shit-ness. By and by, these politicians just continue to show us that they don’t give a fuck about the people. At the end of the day, we get what we vote for. That is all. LC out.

Ted Cruz Really Is Lyin’ Ted After All

Seriously, where’s the line when it comes to blind political allegiance? When does partisanship actually end, man? At some point, principle and moral compass should outweigh being part of a team. Especially if that team is headed in an insanely wrong direction. With that being said, Ted Cruz must not believe in anything I just wrote. After all of the personal disrespect he suffered at the hands of Donald Trump, Cruz is now backing Trump’s presidential campaign. All I know is, if Cruz doesn’t have any respect for himself, he can’t expect the public to have any respect for him either.

Now, where do I start, son? Oh, how about the time Trump compared Cruz’ wife to his own in an effort to insult her looks? Or how about the time he tweeted he was going to “spill the beans” on Cruz’ wife, whatever that means? Or how about the time Trump insinuated Cruz’ father was involved with the assassination of John F. Kennedy? Or how about the Lyin’ Ted moniker I’m using in the title of this post? Yup, that nickname was “birthed” by Trump too. Do I even need to continue here? Trump made it a mission to personally attack Cruz AND his family and Cruz is STILL endorsing him for president. I’m literally baffled by the lack of backbone here.

Look, Cruz is the same man who called Trump a “pathological liar.” He’s the same man who called Trump a “sniveling coward.” He’s the same man who said he’s “not in the habit of supporting people who attack [his] wife and attack [his] father.” Even at this year’s Republican National Convention, he told the audience to “vote [their] conscience” instead of flat out coming to Trump’s aid. After all of that, he’s STILL backing him, son. Now, if politics is a dirty game, then this must be the grimiest part of it. Apparently, a man can disgrace his opponent’s family and still have his support, son. In my eyes, Cruz is an absolutely pathetic human being.

In the end, I can’t respect any person who puts their political party above their own decency. Anybody with values wouldn’t accept the type of treatment Cruz is now choosing to ignore. Where I come from, if someone said half of the shit Trump consistently hurled at Cruz, there would be a fistfight on sight. Not only that, there would probably be a fistfight during every subsequent encounter. Ultimately, Cruz might’ve just buried his political career and that’s exactly what the coward deserves. Good day.