My First (Real) Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Class

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I love fighting, man. Now, I haven’t been in a real fight in years, but I still need that type of aggression, fam. Shit, I grew up doing Taekwondo, I’ve boxed, I’ve done Muay ThaiJeet Kune Do and general MMA. Needless to say, I’m semi-addicted to pain, bruh. In any case, last night was a first for me. Last night was the first time I took a real Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. All in all, I’m still processing my experience, brethren.

Ok, to be clear, last night was not the first time I’ve rolled. Shit, thanks to previous MMA classes, I’ve had the pleasure of putting someone in and being put into a rear-naked choke and an armbar. However, those experiences didn’t necessarily prepare me for a full hour and a half of BJJ, son. Frankly, despite my years of martial arts training, I’ve learned that I don’t know shit upon shit about fighting on the ground, man.

Now, before I continue, I have to give a major shout-out to Babs Olusanmokun. The actor/BJJ black belt runs Babs BJJ out of Phil Nurse‘s The Wat school in lower Manhattan. Side bar, I have to give another shout-out to my wife for finding this school, fam. Keeping it a buck, she’s the real MVP, bruh. Anyway, since the spot is only a few blocks away from my job, I figured I’d give a class a test spin, son. All I know is, I wasn’t exactly prepared for this shit, man.

In any case, the class went as follows: I first learned to shrimp, followed by front rolls and back rolls. From there, I learned how to do the technical stand-up. Next, I learned the basics of the triangle choke. After that, I spent the majority of the class drilling kimuras with other white belts. Side bar, one of the white belts had one stripe and the other had three stripes. Meaning, we were not the same, fam. Frankly, both of those dudes could fuck me up, bruh. It just is what it is.

Moving on, I was involved in all of the activities until it came time to roll. Babs knew that I would get mangled if I got my ass down there, son. Instead, I just watched and came to the realization that a 5’5″ woman with a blue belt could choke the fuckity-fuck out of me, man. All I can say is, it was a very humbling experience, fam.

In the end, I’m still trying to process it all, bruh. Hell, look at my face in that above picture, son. Ultimately, that’s the face of a dude who got his innocence took, man. By and by, I’m pretty sure I’ll go back, fam. At the end of the day, I just need my knees to cooperate with me, brethren. The truth is, it’ll be easy as fuck for someone to double leg me if I don’t get lower to the ground. But, I only have one life and I need to try everything, people. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Someone tell my boy Fabo that I’m renigging on my word to roll with him. Son, I ain’t ready for that type of smoke. Talk to me in a year, man. Good day.

Floyd Mayweather Better Stay Far Away From MMA

So, let’s be real, son. I mean, Floyd Mayweather is probably trolling us, man. Shit, if nothing else, he’s a master at keeping his name in the spotlight. In any case, I highly, HIGHLY doubt that Mayweather is entertaining an MMA fight. Why? Because he’d get fucking murdered, fam! Listen, as much as I box, I’m also aware of the skill set needed for a mixed martial arts match. With that being said, someone stop Floyd before he gets choked to death.

Ok, for those who missed it, Mayweather seems to be up to something. Just yesterday, he posted a cryptic video on Twitter and Instagram. In it, we can see him walking into an MMA cage, moving around like he’s getting acclimated to the scenery. Now, this is notable for a couple of reasons. First, if he were really entertaining an MMA match, he could make a MASSIVE amount of money. This is especially true if it were against Conor McGregor. Second, him and Dana White previously squashed the idea of him fighting in the UFC. So, this would be a complete about-face. All in all, I’m not exactly sure what Mayweather is trying to say here, if anything, bruh.

Look, it’s no secret that I’m an avid MMA fan, son. Anyway, while I spend a lot of time boxing now, I spent years doing Taekwondo as a kid. Meaning, I know what it’s like to get kicked in the face. Does Floyd? Because that’s EXACTLY the type of shit that will happen in an MMA fight, man. Listen, Mayweather’s boxing pedigree can’t be questioned, but is he ready for all of the other disciplines? Has he grappled before? Does he know what it’s like to get kicked repeatedly on the legs? Shit, if Floyd walks into an octagon, he’s going to get fucking mangled, fam! All I know is, he better get A LOT of practice in before he gets assassinated for money, bruh.

In the end, I don’t even know why I fell for Mayweather’s trap, son. Ultimately, this video probably means nothing and he’s just fucking with us. By and by, I hope that’s the case, man. At the end of the day, if he steps onto the mat against McGregor, then Conor is probably going to head kick the fuck out of Mayweather. Then again, maybe that’s EXACTLY what I want to see, fam. Hey, Dana, make this shit happen, bruh! That is all. LC out.