Get Sean Spicer The F*ck Outta Here!

On the real, how many “Get (Blank) The F*ck Outta Here! posts have I written, son? I swear, I find new targets everyday, man. In fact, Donald Trump‘s administration is the gift that keeps on giving. Mainly because someone is CONSTANTLY doing something stupid. With that being said, Sean Spicer is the next sucker to get this work, bruh. All jokes aside, after comparing Bashar al-Assad to Adolf Hitler, Spicer would be lucky if I didn’t roast him for the next week.

Now, before I continue, let’s briefly talk about chemical weapons. So, by definition, chemical weapons fall under the following categories: blister agents, nerve agents, blood agents and choking agents. Sarin, for example, is considered a nerve agent. In addition, hydrogen cyanide is considered a blood agent. This is notable because that particular compound was used to make Zyklon B, the deadly gas used in the Nazi extermination camps. Ok, with all of that being said, let’s get back to Spicer.

So, during a briefing on Tuesday, this fucktard Spicer stated that not even Hitler used chemical weapons against his own people. He made this remark as a way to demonize Assad’s recent sarin attack in Syria. Now, the fact that Spicer was fundamentally wrong about Nazi weaponry wasn’t even the most egregious part here. This dude actually tried to downplay the pain and suffering of the MILLIONS who died under the Hitler regime. Yo! Who’s fucking man is this, son?! Good fucking Lord, how is Trump cool with this asshat publicly representing him? Oh, I forgot, Trump doesn’t know shit either!

Look, roughly 11 million people died in the Holocaust, with about 3 million victims reaching their fate in the extermination camps. It’s absolutely unconscionable that a man like Spicer can occupy his position without having an understanding of basic fucking history. Bruh, not only did Hitler use chemical weapons, but millions of innocent people died as a result. Keeping it a buck, Assad isn’t any more of a villain because he used sarin instead of hydrogen cyanide.

Listen, no hyperbole is needed to describe the atrocities that the Syrian people are currently facing. Ultimately, Spicer diminished the entire plight of the Jewish community just to further a political agenda. All in all, I truly can’t find the words to properly display how disgusted I am, man.

In the end, I will be blown away if Spicer gets to keep his job after this. This clown has consistently shown that he’s woefully unprepared for this position. Trump needs to fire his ass and then give him a bunch of history textbooks. Clearly, this idiot doesn’t know shit about shit. Then again, those same textbooks need to be read to Trump too. *Sigh* LC out.

P.S. I would like everyone to note that I wrote “extermination camps” instead of “Holocaust centers.” Spicer really referred to these death facilities as “Holocaust centers,” man. I… I can’t. That is all.

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What Are Everyone’s World War III Plans?

So, am I the only one who’s scared out here, son? Look, even though I’ve been talking about the possibility of World War III since last year, I’m still taken aback by recent events. At this point, I’ve been discussing the shenanigans in Syria for a few days now. With that being said, I’m not going to rehash all of my talking points. Shit, I have two different posts that cover that. However; based on recent statements from Russia and Iran, WWIII might truly be on the horizon, man. *Sigh* I just hope everyone has their canned goods on deck.

Now, keeping it a buck, today’s post will probably be short. I mean, I don’t know how much I can really say about this fuckery, man. Ultimately, thanks to the United States‘ recent attack on Syria, Russia and Iran have issued a warning. Apparently, both countries believe that the U.S. overstepped its boundaries. Moving on, this coalition of deplorables just asserted that they will “respond with force” if it happens again. Basically, these muhfuckas just threatened us for bombing on Bashar al-Assad and company.

All in all, people like Rex Tillerson thought the attack would cause Vladimir Putin to drop Assad as an ally. However; it only strengthened his resolve, man. Shit, this whole situation is about to go to Hell, son. Listen, these warmongers fail to realize that a conflict with Syria will never really just be a conflict with Syria. That country has support from other enemies of ours and that could cause this entire scenario to spiral out of control. Now, if anyone is keeping score, we could end up in battle with three different countries at once. Bruh, is any of this shit worth it?

In the end, I need to find a quality storm shed or something. This apartment building life ain’t gonna be cool when the nukes start flying, man. Stay tuned for the most fire basement recordings when armageddon pops off. I’ll be sure to keep my microphone and piano hooked up, son. LC out.

Sh*t Just Got Real In Syria!

So, I won’t lie, son. I have very conflicted emotions about last night’s Tomahawk missile attack on Syria. Now, on one hand, Bashar al-Assad needs to get the fuck outta Dodge. He’s been terrorizing his own people for far too long and it’s created a refugee crisis in both Europe and America. In addition, this same refugee crisis has had a profound impact on both our presidential election and Brexit. On the other hand, Donald Trump and his administration have been completely hypocritical in how they’ve handled this situation. With that being said, by attacking Syria, Trump has shown that he cares more about the gesture than the actual people.

Now, to be clear, I’m probably going to be reiterating a lot of shit I said in yesterday’s post. Look, I find it preposterous that Trump can block Syrian refugees in two different travel bans, warn Barack Obama against attacking Syria and then turn around and call for action. All I want to know is, where was all of this vitriol when Assad was killing his people before?

On the real, where was all of this fire when a little boy lost his entire family in Aleppo? Why did it take a chemical attack for our government to take these people’s pain seriously? Look, I’m sorry, man, but I’m not rolling with the idea that this administration suddenly gives a fuck. In the span of one week, Rex Tillerson went from saying that Assad would most likely stay in power to claiming that a coalition is now in place to remove him. Wow, the flip flop is fucking crazy, son.

Moving on, now that we’ve taken this action, how will Russia proceed? Listen, I haven’t forgotten about the congressional investigation, but this type of military strike could garner a response. Hell, Vladimir Putin has already condemned the move and the Kremlin proclaimed that the risk of collision between the two nations has “significantly increased.” Man, what the fuck does that mean? Are we really about to get into some shit with Russia too? Bruh, this could be the making of some real World War III shit. Are we really ready to go down this path? Shit, everybody seems to have nukes now, man. Ultimately, this entire situation could be catastrophic, son.

In the end, I don’t know what to make of all of this, fam. Assad needs to be removed, but the next step is so unknown. All in all, everyone needs to brace themselves. Some wild shit may be on the horizon, son. LC out.

Can Donald Trump Stop Politicizing Syria?

To begin, I just have one question. Is there literally NO issue that won’t be politicized? I mean, why must every situation and circumstance become some ideological debate? Look, some things just aren’t politics, son. Why can’t our government understand that? All I know is, a chemical attack in Syria is not the time to bash a previous administration. With that being said, can Donald Trump stop politicizing the deaths of Syrian people?

Now, before I continue, let’s just get one fallacy out of the way. Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about the citizens of Syria. First, he tried to block Syrian refugees from entering our country in not one but TWO travel bans! Innocent men, women and children have been trying to flee from Bashar al-Assad’s wrath for years now. Trump has been the main proponent of denying them help. So, am I now supposed to believe he gives two shits about their well-being? Man, get the fuck out of here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, during Barack Obama’s presidency, Trump constantly used Twitter to try and deter Obama from acting on Syria. Shit, as recently as 2013, Trump asserted that Syria was “not our problem.” Hell, just last week, Rex Tillerson, our current Secretary of State, stated that Assad’s tenure should be “decided by the Syrian people.” Now, the entire administration wants to change course and berate Obama for not doing something about Syria sooner. Man, these clowns have GOT to be fucking kidding me, man! The hypocrisy is so blatant that it literally hurts my head, son.

Look, at some point, Trump has to realize that he’s the President now. He can’t keep blaming the previous administration for issues that are happening under his watch. If Trump really gave a shit about Syria, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep their refugees out of our country. In addition, if he were really serious, he would grow some balls and call Vladimir Putin out. Lest we forget, Russia is one of Assad’s biggest allies. Despite this fact, nobody in Trump’s administration has even uttered a word about Putin. Hmmmmmm, I wonder why, son. Could it have anything to do with a congressional investigation? Listen, I’m just saying, bruh.

Ultimately, Trump wanted to ban Syrians from our country, he accused their refugees of being ISIS and now I’m supposed to believe he cares? *Sigh* I truly, truly hate our political system, man. All in all, it’s despicable to politicize death. That’s exactly what Trump and company are doing. Let’s just call a spade a spade, son. LC out.

Let’s Talk About The ‘Bowling Green Massacre’

*Sigh* Another day, another opportunity to hear some “alternative facts.” Look, I didn’t even think I had anything to write today, but here comes Kellyanne Conway to save the day. I mean, I can always count on her for some Grade A fuckery, right? In any case, all I could do was shake my head in disbelief when I heard her mention the “Bowling Green Massacre” on MSNBC. Namely because such an event doesn’t exist! Once again, Donald Trump‘s administration has made it their mission to ignore logic, facts and evidence in order to make their points.

So, Conway was on MSNBC defending Trump’s Muslim Ban. She claimed that what Trump is doing isn’t unprecedented because Barack Obama banned refugees from Iraq for six months back in 2011. Apparently, this action was taken after the arrest of “the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre.” Now, there are two things drastically wrong with this argument: first, Obama never instituted a six-month ban on Iraqis. In actuality, after it was discovered that two Iraqi immigrants were trying to send weapons and money back to Iraq, Obama’s administration re-vetted all incoming Iraqis. During this period, refugees were still being let into the country. There was NEVER a ban.

Second, A MASSACRE IN BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED! Good fucking Lord, man! Bending the truth is one thing. However; this woman legitimately made up a terrorist attack that never occurred. This can’t be fucking life, man! Kellyanne Conway is in a legit position of power and she’s BLATANTLY making up information, son. These are the people who are leading our country, bruh. This type of shit should scare everyone. All it takes is one grandiose and misplaced lie to start a war with another nation. Shit, ain’t that how the Iraq War started in the first place? Whatever happened to those “weapons of mass destruction,” George W. Bush?

Ultimately, I’m losing more and more of my hair everyday, son. Well, that’s a lie since I’m already bald, but we all know what I mean, man. This administration is driving my stress level to ungodly heights. The amount of incompetence is fucking frightening, son. *Sigh* I don’t know what else to say here. LC out.

The Muslim Ban: An Official Rebuke Of The First Amendment

*Sigh* No lie, I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate myself all weekend. We’re literally watching the destruction of America right before our very eyes. Now, if anyone wants to read our country’s First Amendment, they’ll notice that the first thing the bill guarantees is freedom of religion. With one stroke of his pen, Donald Trump has egregiously violated our Constitution. On the real, based on Trump’s first ten days in office, I’m thoroughly convinced we’re on the verge of both World War III and Civil War II.

At this point, if anyone reading this is unaware of Trump’s Muslim Ban executive order, then… Google, son. Like, being in the dark on this issue is unacceptable. Trump essentially banned the entry of citizens from Syria, Iran, Sudan, Libya, Somalia, Yemen and Iraq. This is part of the “extreme vetting” that Trump constantly spoke about during his campaign run. According to his logic, this is to protect us from potential terrorist attacks. However; if that’s really the case, why aren’t Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Egypt on this list? Last time I checked, terrorists from these countries have actually attacked us. Has anyone heard of a little event called 9/11?

Look, I’m not naive and I’m fully away of the fact that ISIS has footing in some of the countries listed in the ban. However; here’s something to consider: Islamic radicals are killing mass amounts of their own people in these countries! That’s why countless innocent families are trying to flee and seek solace. Even outside of these refugees, green card holders and valid visa carriers were also being detained at airports. That’s right, son. People who had the LEGAL RIGHT to enter our country were being held up at numerous airports across the nation. Needless to say, the American public has had enough of the fuck shit and have taken to the streets to protest.

Now, here’s where Trump’s hypocrisy takes center stage. He claims that the ban isn’t based on religion, but his executive order gives preference to Christian refugees. Good fucking Lord, man! We’re watching an administration vehemently lie to our faces and then pretend like we don’t see the bullshit. This entire episode is one of the most deplorable violations of democracy I’ve ever seen. Like, I’m having a very hard time putting all of this into words, man. Our rights are being trampled on for the entire world to see, son.

As a response, Iran has already made strides to block U.S. visitors. Does everyone see what’s happening here? We’re very rapidly entering into a zone that can have very dangerous ramifications. Thanks to Trump, we’re already on bad terms with NATO and the United Nations. If we stay on this trajectory, we could end up in a military conflict with no allies to back us. So far, we’ve pissed off Europe, our Hispanic neighbors to the South and our Canadian neighbors to the North. If we add public unrest to that equation, we truly have the ingredients for another World War AND another Civil War.

All in all, to all of my Muslim brothers and sisters out there: your religion is not a crime. Donald Trump does NOT speak for the people and we categorically condemn everything he stands for. All jokes aside, the revolution is now and everyone needs to decide what side they’re on. All I know is, these despicable acts of injustice CANNOT continue. LC out.

Gary Johnson Is A Joke… Not The Funny Kind

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit, I haven’t given much thought to any of the presidential candidates not named Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. This is mainly because I don’t see how an outside force can overcome the current Democrat/Republican two-party system. Granted, I do understand the rationale that if enough people voted for an outsider, they could shake up the program. However; I’ve yet to see a candidate that could galvanize me enough to go against the grain. With that being said, Gary Johnson is doing a TERRIBLE job of convincing me otherwise. Within one month, he’s said two of the stupidest things I’ve heard on the campaign trail. So, it’s my job to make fun of him. Let’s do this!

Now, for those who are unaware, Johnson is the presidential candidate for the Libertarian Party. In addition, he’s the former Governor of New Mexico. Despite being a third wheel to the two-party system, Johnson has actually been doing well in the polls. However; I’m positive that’s about to change once people get a wind of the fuckity-fuck shit he’s been saying.

First, there’s Aleppo. During the second week of September, during an interview with MSNBC, Johnson was asked about the civil war in Syria. More specifically, he was asked about what he would do regarding the conflict that’s currently tearing apart the city of Aleppo. Now, instead of providing a solution, Johnson actually mouthed the words “what is Aleppo?” Bruh, seriously? Seriously?! This man is running to be president of the United States and he’s unaware of a war that’s been waging in the Middle East for at least the last five years? Man, shit like that should automatically disqualify any candidate. Then again, Donald Trump is in this race, so what the hell do I know?

Next, just yesterday, Johnson made another baffling faux pas. Back on MSNBC, host Chris Matthews asked Johnson to name his favorite foreign leader. After stalling for a period of time, Matthews asked him to just mention anyone. Once again, instead of at least acting like he knew what he was talking about, Johnson said “I guess I’m having an Aleppo moment.” Is this dude fucking serious? Not only did he whiff on a question he should’ve been able to answer, he went and referenced ANOTHER whiff that made him look stupid before. Honestly, is anyone out there actually voting for this guy? If so, can I buy some weed from whoever is supplying y’all? It must be some good ass weed, son.

In the end, I don’t think there’s anything else to say. Gary Johnson is an idiot. Plain and simple, son. Once again, this is just further proof that this election is the worst in American history. I swear, we’re fucked as a people, man. Fucking fucked! Good day.