We Never Knew Kanye West

Look, let me keep it a buck, son. Everything we ever thought we knew about Kanye West was a lie, man. The image he portrayed on all of his early albums was a lie, fam. On the real, I honestly believe we’re seeing the real him right now. For me, it’s no coincidence that when he became wealthy he began rejecting everything he previously stood for. Shit, he might be the biggest example of who I was talking about in my “Money Can’t Buy ‘Woke’” post, bruh. All in all, his White House meeting with Donald Trump was one of the most damaging things I’ve ever seen, folks.

Now, like I’ve said before, my real beef with Kanye is his gross lack of knowledge. Like, he picks the most public places and displays an INCREDIBLE misunderstanding of the issues. Real talk, when it comes to all of the fuckery he said yesterday, I don’t even know where to begin, son. I mean, we could talk about his thoughts on North Korea. He gave Trump credit for “solving” Barack Obama‘s biggest problem, despite the fact that North Korea hasn’t actually given up ANY of their nukes yet. Hell, they don’t even have a timeline for shutting down their damn nuclear program yet, man!

Moving on, we could talk about Kanye’s misguided views of Black people on welfare. Shit, can someone please tell him that White women represent the largest number of welfare recipients? Like, these are facts, brethren. Next, we could talk about the fact that he likened his MAGA hat to a Superman cape. Even worse, he said he couldn’t get behind Hillary Clinton‘s “I’m With Her” slogan because he was a dude. So, his “manhood” wouldn’t allow him to support a woman? He needed “male energy” in order to feel good about himself? My God, his biological father has fucking failed him, bruh. That’s sexism on a baffling level, people.

From there, we could talk about how he brought superstition into his analysis of the 13th Amendment. Son, what the fuck does a building not having a 13th floor have to do with the government’s “right” to treat prisoners like slaves? Sheesh, did I really hear him say that, man? What the fuck is actually going on here?! Lastly, we could talk about his “victim mentality” idea. Essentially, he used this idiotic phrase to recant everything he’s ever said about race relations in this country. Honestly, I think this was the worst part of the entire meeting, fam.

*Sigh* Kanye essentially blamed a “victim mentality” for why he previously criticized George W. Bush. He blamed a “victim mentality” for why Black people are upset about police brutality. Look, I guess getting murdered by the state with no reprisal has nothing to do with why we’re mad, bruh. Listen, this fool really brought up Black-on-Black crime for why we shouldn’t be upset with police. Newsflash, Kanye: ALL races are predominantly killed by members of the same fucking race! He would know that if he EVER read anything! Fuck, man! I didn’t think this dude could still make me angry, but I’m fucking livid! Like, he went to the cotdamn White House and said all that bullshit, son!

In my eyes, one of the main issues here is Kanye’s wealth. Only a wealthy person can afford the luxury of no longer identifying. Now, let me be clear, man: I’m not saying that money is a bad thing. Hell, I want a lot of it too, fam. However, Kanye wasn’t talking this shit when he was just a dude from Chicago. Frankly, he got rich and COMPLETELY forgot about the trial and tribulations of everyday people. He no longer has to be affected by the stop-and-frisk tactics that Trump wants to enact. He no longer has to worry about possibly dying at a traffic stop. He no longer has to worry about being mistreated by the justice system. So, he no longer gives a flying fuck about our pain, bruh.

In the end, the line in the sand has been drawn, son. Before, I was on some “I can’t fuck with Kanye” shit. Now, I’m on some “I can’t even fuck with you if you fuck with Kanye” shit. Ultimately, the music doesn’t matter, man. By and by, I don’t give a fuck if he drops another classic tomorrow. At the end of the day, I CANNOT and WILL NOT support a man who tries so hard to disparage the people who gave him a career and a platform. So, once and for all, fuck Kanye West, fam! That is all. LC out.

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A Letter To ‘Black Panther’ Haters

Dear Black Panther haters,

Eat a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiick, son! On the real, y’all are nothing but a bunch of miserable carpetbaggers who want to fuck up a good thing. All I know is, is takes a special level of loser to launch a campaign designed to ruin a movie’s approval rating. With that being said, I’m glad that Rotten Tomatoes caught on to the bullshit, man. All in all, there ain’t no way to stop this Wakanda parade, fam. It’s T’Challa over everything, bruh!

Ok, before I continue, let me get this straight, son. So, y’all really formed a Facebook group with the intention of giving Black Panther a bad score on Rotten Tomatoes? Wait, y’all tried to do this nonsense before with Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Why? Because y’all are angry about the critical response to those trash ass DC Comics movies? Man, if y’all don’t get the FUCK outta here! Look, there wasn’t a conspiracy to flame those terrible Warner Bros.-produced movies. They were just awful, fam. Man of Steel sucked. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sucked. Justice League sucked. Now, NONE of this is anyone’s fault but Warner Bros., bruh. Real talk, if they made better movies, no one would be trashing them, folks.

In the end, you paint-sniffers can go back to whatever hole y’all climbed out of. Your hate won’t stop this train from rolling, son. Right now, we’re about two weeks away from the Black Panther premier, and we can’t wait, man! Ultimately, the revolution will be televised in IMAX, fam. By and by, y’all should either get down or lay down. There’s no other choice, bruh. That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who’s about to show up to AMC Theatres with kente cloth on when Black Panther drops

I Believe In Michael Moore

Ok, ok, ok, I know what people are thinking. In yesterday’s post, I definitely said I wasn’t writing anything for the rest of the week. I lied, son. I know that’s something Donald Trump is extremely used to. If anyone feels a way about my fib, sue me. I also know that’s something Trump is intimately used to. In any case, I’d like to officially thank Michael Moore for rejuvenating me, man. After reading his “Morning After To-Do List,” I’m definitely ready to tackle the impending shenanigans and do my part to make this country what it truly needs to be.

Now, before I continue, I want everyone to actually read what Moore said. It might be a little lengthy, but it’s well worth it, son. So, here we go:

Morning After To-Do List:

1. Take over the Democratic Party and return it to the people. They have failed us miserably.

2. Fire all pundits, predictors, pollsters and anyone else in the media who had a narrative they wouldn’t let go of and refused to listen to or acknowledge what was really going on. Those same bloviators will now tell us we must “heal the divide” and “come together.” They will pull more hooey like that out of their ass in the days to come. Turn them off.

3. Any Democratic member of Congress who didn’t wake up this morning ready to fight, resist and obstruct in the way Republicans did against President Obama every day for eight full years must step out of the way and let those of us who know the score lead the way in stopping the meanness and the madness that’s about to begin.

4. Everyone must stop saying they are “stunned” and “shocked.” What you mean to say is that you were in a bubble and weren’t paying attention to your fellow Americans and their despair. YEARS of being neglected by both parties, the anger and the need for revenge against the system only grew. Along came a TV star they liked whose plan was to destroy both parties and tell them all “You’re fired!” Trump’s victory is no surprise. He was never a joke. Treating him as one only strengthened him. He is both a creature and a creation of the media and the media will never own that.

5. You must say this sentence to everyone you meet today: “HILLARY CLINTON WON THE POPULAR VOTE!” The MAJORITY of our fellow Americans preferred Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Period. Fact. If you woke up this morning thinking you live in an effed-up country, you don’t. The majority of your fellow Americans wanted Hillary, not Trump. The only reason he’s president is because of an arcane, insane 18th-century idea called the Electoral College. Until we change that, we’ll continue to have presidents we didn’t elect and didn’t want. You live in a country where a majority of its citizens have said they believe there’s climate change, they believe women should be paid the same as men, they want a debt-free college education, they don’t want us invading countries, they want a raise in the minimum wage and they want a single-payer true universal health care system. None of that has changed. We live in a country where the majority agree with the “liberal” position. We just lack the liberal leadership to make that happen (see: #1 above). Let’s try to get this all done by noon today. — Michael Moore

Moving on, I won’t lie as if I wasn’t fired up after reading that. The time is NOW to make major changes in the political landscape. No more can candidates from any of our parties just make empty promises with no returns. In addition, the elected officials who are already on the inside need to be held accountable for EVERYTHING they do. Voting is not where our participation ends, it’s only the beginning, man. If these politicians don’t want to put the will of the people first, then they need to get the fuck out of the way! Finally, the Electoral College needs to go, son. Once again, this old fashioned establishment royally screwed the people. Despite receiving the most overall votes, Clinton got trounced in the Electoral College, and now our president is basically the living embodiment of Lex Luthor. With that being said, we all need to be Superman, son.

In the end, I’m charged up, man! Going forward, everyone who reads this blog needs to know my writing won’t be dumbed down. I’m going for the jugular on every issue that matters, son. For those who are with it, let’s get the proceedings proceeding. For those who aren’t, sign off now! The movement doesn’t need those type of people. Good day!

P.S. I definitely see all of the protests happening around the country, man. I just have one question: did all of those protestors vote? If they didn’t, I need them to take their dumbasses back in the house. We had a chance to keep this lunatic out of the Oval Office and we failed to do our job. I’m happy to see the spirit of the people, but more of us should’ve exercised our right to vote. Six million LESS people voted for Clinton than voted for Obama four years ago. That shit made a HUGE difference, son! As of right now, we need to hold Trump’s feet to the fire and ensure he doesn’t send this country off the rails. Let’s go!

P.P.S. I’m starting to see White people get aggy in my various comments sections on social media. Look, folks better keep it cute and not try any shit in person. All I know is, Trump can’t save them from catching these hands, son. That is all.