Alabama Made The Right Decision

So, let me keep it a buck here, son. The Senate election in Alabama wasn’t about the Left versus the Right, man. This election wasn’t about the Democrats versus the Republicans. Frankly, this election was about right versus clear-cut wrong, fam. Look, if Alabama actually put Roy Moore in Congress, then they would’ve put a racist pedophile in an elected office. With that being said, Doug Jones was DEFINITELY the better choice, bruh. All in all, I’m just glad that Alabama didn’t do what I thought they were gonna do.

Ok, at this point, I shouldn’t have to explain how horrible of a person Moore is, son. I mean, I’ve already detailed his history of pedophilia and sexual abuse. In any case, he also has a strong, STRONG background of racism, man. Shit, just the other day, he got outed for saying that America was better when we had slavery. Somehow, Moore asserted that the family unit was stronger during a time when slaves didn’t have the right to have families. I… I didn’t even know how to respond to that when I heard it, fam.

Listen, the fact that Moore was even in this race says EVERYTHING about our country, bruh. Hell, I was watching MSNBC last night and there was a poll that said that 55% of Alabama voters didn’t care about the allegations against Moore. Good Lord, that’s fucking insane, son! On the real, these folks are so dedicated to the GOP that they were WILLFULLY looking the other way to Moore’s pedophilia. Real talk, that’s fucking FRIGHTENING, man! All I can say is, political allegiance is damn near as dangerous as religious zealotry, fam.

Now, with all of that being said, America needs to thank Black people… again. Taking it a step further, the country needs to thank Black women specifically, bruh. Based on the final voting numbers, Black women represented 18% of the total vote and 97% of them voted for Jones. In addition, Black men represented 12% of the total vote and 92% of them also voted for Jones. Basically, Black people saved everyone’s ass, son. All I know is, the Senate dynamic just got A LOT more interesting, man. Keeping it a buck, Congress desperately needs this balancing act, fam.

In the end, fuck Roy Moore, fuck Steve Bannon and fuck Donald Trump (word to YG). Ultimately, this nation has a TON of problems, but electing a racist pedophile shouldn’t be one of them, bruh. By and by, I’m just relieved that this race didn’t go a different way, son. Look, I know this country jumped the shark a long time ago. However; a Moore candidacy was nothing short of preposterous, man. That is all. LC out.

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Donald Trump Chose Sexual Assault Over Liberalism

Now, before I begin, let me make one thing clear: this post isn’t about political allegiance, son. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck if someone is liberal or conservative, man. On the real, everyone has the right to believe whatever they believe, fam. However; political idealism should NEVER spit in the face of basic human decency, bruh. With that being said, what Donald Trump is doing right now is disgusting, folks. All in all, I don’t give a shit what political party he belongs to. Backing Roy Moore in any capacity is just wrong, people!

So, how did we get here? Let’s recap, son. Basically, the Alabama-based Roy Moore is running for a Senate seat. In actuality, he’s running for the seat that was vacated by Jeff Sessions when he became the Attorney General. Along the way, nine women have come out and alleged that Moore made numerous unwanted sexual advances. Even worse, damn near all of these women alleged that the situations occurred when they were teenagers. By and by, when the alleged assaults took place, the women were between 14 and 22 years old. Now, this essentially means that Roy Moore is a pedophile, man!

As expected, most of the GOP has distanced itself from Moore. Prominent Republicans like Mitch McConnell, John McCain and Mitt Romney have called for Moore to drop out of the Senate race. Side note, I truly believe that a lot of these Republicans are only taking this step because they want Luther Strange instead. Real talk, that was their preferred pick in the first place, fam. All I know is, if that’s their only motivation for doing the right thing, then I’m thoroughly repulsed, bruh. In any case, no one is on Moore’s side, folks. Well, except Trump and Steve Bannon.

Look, this clown Trump really came to Moore’s defense, son. In his mind, since Moore said the allegations are false, then they must be false, man. In addition, Trump stated that the Senate doesn’t need a liberal in there. That was literally his only critique of Doug Jones, the Democratic candidate. So, let me get this straight, fam. A pedophile is better than a liberal? Has bipartisanship really gotten this skewed, bruh?! Good fucking Lord, folks! Our entire political system has jumped the shark! We’ve actually reached a point where political allegiance is stronger than our need to stop sexual predators! I… I have no words!

In the end, Trump reminds me daily that we’re fucked as a nation. Like, we absolutely fucked, son! Keeping it a buck, if Moore actually secures that Senate seat, then we might have to burn down the country and start over. Seriously, our politicians can’t be this far gone, man! Listen, my brain truly can’t handle the fuckery, fam! I… *Sigh* I’ve got nothing else, bruh. LC out.

Eminem Ethered Donald Trump

So, to be clear, I’m not going to spend any time talking about how legendary Eminem is, son. At this point, if someone out there doesn’t know that Em is a Top 3 rapper of all time, then I can’t help that person, man. With that being said, I’m always hyped when he wakes up from hibernation, fam. These days, if he’s dropping any bars, then he usually has something to say. All in all, that’s exactly what happened during last night’s BET Hip Hop Awards. The Detroit luminary decided to hit the cyphers and completely obliterated Donald Trump.

Now, I won’t lie, bruh. I’m not going to sit here and dissect everything Em said. Frankly, it would be easier for everyone to just listen to the verse for themselves. In any case, the freestyle is called “The Storm” and Em went hamburger batshit crazy on y’alls president. Essentially, he touched on damn near every bit of fuckery of Trump’s campaign and presidency. Ultimately, I’ll just let Em speak for himself, son. By and by, folks can watch the video ether below. Viva la Eminem! LC out.

The Roast Of Anthony Scaramucci

10 days. 240 hours. 14,400 minutes. 864,000 seconds. That’s how long Anthony Scaramucci lasted as Donald Trump‘s communications director, son. After threatening to fire everyone in Trump’s administration, Scaramucci couldn’t even save his own job, man. Side note, I want the media to stop trying to call him “The Mooch.” Look, assholes like this guy don’t deserve a nickname, fam. In any case, I’d like to take this time to give Scaramucci a proper send-off. I mean, don’t all clowns love a good show?

So, where should I begin, bruh? Ok, let’s talk about the fact that as soon as he entered the White House, Scaramucci immediately sealed his own fate. Whether it was Sean Spicer‘s resignation or Scaramucci’s tirade against Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon, the now-jobless communications director made enemies with everyone. Fam, what part of the game is publicly cursing out co-workers? I swear, this dude didn’t understand the basic fundamentals of working with a team. Real talk, didn’t we start to learn those principles in kindergarten? Clearly, Scaramucci missed these lessons, son.

Moving on, who knows how John Kelly will fare as Trump’s Chief of Staff. All I know is, firing Scaramucci was a good first move. Even though I can’t stand Trump, the shitshow that is his administration needs to chill, man. Like, can he even surround himself with people who can pretend like they know what they’re doing? Shit, Scaramucci was clearly a basket case and had no business in the West Wing. On the real, Kelly should take this stance with everyone on Trump’s squad. So far, all of these jesters have proven themselves to be incompetent, man.

In the end, Anthony Scaramucci, we hardly knew ye. However; good riddance, fool. Maybe now he’ll stop missing the birth of his children. Maybe now he’ll figure out why a nine month pregnant woman would file for divorce. Man, with his personal life in such shambles, where did he find the time to ruin Trump’s inner circle? Well, I guess Scaramucci was good at one thing: destruction. Anyway, no one will miss him, bruh. LC out.

Don’t Fall For Donald Trump’s Ruse

Nah, son. No way. Go home. Get the fuck outta here. I’m not falling for the okie doke, bruh. I’m not going for the misdirection, man. On the real, I truly hope no one believes the gaffle here. Over the weekend, Donald Trump made insanely baseless accusations against Barack Obama. To be clear, this action was taken for one reason and one reason only: to distract from finding a link between Trump’s administration and Russia. It’s no coincidence that right as the Russia talk heats up, a new story is thrown against the wall. All I know is, it’ll take more than Twitter to fool me, son.

Now, before I continue, let me outline some FACTS. First, Michael Flynn, Trump’s former National Security Advisor, lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. For that move, he lost his job. Second, Jeff Sessions, Trump’s current Attorney General, ALSO lied about being in contact with the Russian ambassador. To make matters worse, Sessions told these fairy tales during his confirmation hearing. Meaning, he perjured himself. For that action, he has to recuse himself from any potential investigation between Trump and Russia. In addition, if any further dirt is discovered, then Sessions could also lose his job.

Moving on, let me outline some unfounded opinions. As it stands, Mark Levin is the man who started the rumor about Obama wiretapping Trump’s phones during the election. Now, for anyone who is unfamiliar with Levin, he’s a conservative radio host who has a documented history of saying wild shit about Obama. He’s long argued that Obama has initiated a “silent coup” within our government, enacting “martial law” through immigration, health care and law enforcement policies. In any case, Levin is the first person to claim that Obama was secretly monitoring Trump.

So, after Levin made his outrageous claims, the story ended up on Breitbart News. Side note, c’mon son, is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Once again, Steve Bannon’s repugnant ass website has dug its claws into the bullshit. Anyway, after seeing the tomfoolery on Breitbart, Trump fired off a series of tweets alleging that Obama tapped his phones during the campaign trail. Now, Trump wants an investigation into Obama’s mythical and fictitious deeds.

Ok, I have questions, son. First, if Trump has proof, then why does he need an investigation? Why doesn’t he just reveal the evidence he already has? Ohhhh, that’s because THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, MAN! This tactic is nothing more than a ruse to get people talking about this instead of Russia. The fucked up thing is, it’s working, son. Ever since Trump’s tweets, this story has been the topic of conversation on the news. Trump has successfully shifted the focus of both the public and the media. If I wasn’t so infuriated by the obvious ploy, I’d be impressed, man.

In the end, let’s cut the malarkey, son. I don’t want to hear about wiretaps and I don’t want to hear about leaks. Until the story is resolved, let’s find out what’s really good between Trump’s administration and Russia. If everything is aboveboard, then why is Trump’s staff constantly lying about speaking with Russian dignitaries? I mean, fuck conjecture, man. We know for a fact that people in this current regime have been less than truthful to the American public. At this point, I’m tired of the back and forth, man. I just want to know the truth… about everything. LC out.

P.S. FBI Director James Comey has already asked the Department of Justice to refute Trump’s claims. I find it very odd that they haven’t done so yet. The idiocy in our government is simply staggering, man. That is all.

Get Van Jones The F*ck Outta Here!

On the real, this Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here series is becoming way too common, man. I feel like I’m doing at least one new edition every week, son. In any case, I never thought I’d see the day when I would have to turn my crosshairs on Van Jones. The CNN-contributor has long been a vocal opponent of Donald Trump. However; after Trump’s speech on Tuesday, Jones decided to tuck his tail in between his legs. In one instant, Jones invalidated every stance he previously took. How? By insinuating that one speech could possibly change the course of Trump’s administration.

Now, Van Jones’ foolishness is baffling for a few reasons. He’s the same man who coined the phrase “Whitelash” while trying to explain why White voters backed Trump. Previously, he’s been very critical of Trump’s rhetoric and decision-making. Fast forward to Tuesday, Trump finally gave a speech in which he didn’t behave like an absolute child. All of a sudden, Jones changed his tune and said Trump “became President of the United States” after his performance. Taking it a step further, Jones praised Trump’s tribute to fallen Navy SEAL Ryan Owens. He called it “one of the most extraordinary moments you have ever seen in American politics, period.” This statement is mind-boggling because it completely negates the fact that Trump got that man killed in the first place.

Look, are we really supposed to be moved by the standing ovation for Owen’s widow, Carryn Owens? Her husband would still be alive if Trump’s administration wasn’t so poorly prepared for that raid in Yemen. Owens and an assortment of children, who no one talks about, ended up dying for outdated al-Qaeda intelligence. For example, one of the bomb-making videos recovered in that raid has been online since 2007. Was that a good enough reason for a soldier to die? I didn’t think so. Shut the fuck up, Van Jones!

Listen, Van, if you ever happen to read this, let me speak to you directly. Did Trump’s speech make you forget about Michael Flynn? Did Trump’s speech make you forget about the fact that Jeff Sessions perjured himself in regards to his contact with Russia? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that he’s trying to rewrite the Muslim Ban with newer parameters? Did Trump’s speech make you forget that Steve Bannon literally said he’s trying to “deconstruct” the administration? Man, AIN’T SHIT CHANGED! I refuse to believe that you’re THAT dumb to fall for a dude who was simply reading off of a teleprompter.

In the end, Van Jones played himself. Anytime someone loses their credibility, it’s almost impossible to get it back, son. All in all, I hope Jones has fun being a clown. Ultimately, that’s exactly what he is now. LC out.

Get Milo Yiannopoulos The F*ck Outta Here!

So, on the latest episode of Get (Blank) The Fuck Outta Here, I bring to you Milo Yiannopoulos. This douchebag is the now-former editor of Breitbart News. Yes, the Satan-spawn of Steve Bannon has come back to plague us again. In any case, since the weekend, Milo has had a glorious downfall. On the real, I can honestly say that I don’t feel a shred of sympathy for him. Milo is a shit-stain of a person and he’s getting EVERYTHING he deserves.

Now, before I continue, let me explain to everyone who this turd is. I’ve covered the Breitbart part, but that’s just the beginning of his fuckery. If anyone actually read the filth he spewed on that website, they’d see that he has no regard for civility or humanity. This is a man who disrespects women and the LGBTQ community with regularity. Side bar, that last tidbit is EXTREMELY odd given the fact that he’s gay. Anyway, this is also the same man who made it his life’s mission to bully Leslie Jones on Twitter. Needless to say, for his constant hate, he was banned from the social media platform.

In any case, Milo’s real downfall began after some outrageous comments surfaced on a livestream. For all intents and purposes, Milo defended pedophilia. This fucking clown had the audacity to say that when older men have relationships with younger boys, they give the kids “love” and a “reliable sort of a rock.” Taking it a step further, he mentions his own childhood sexual abuse and says that he’s “grateful for Father Michael.” In Milo’s own words, he wouldn’t be as good at giving head without the priest. Finally, Milo believes that 13 year old boys are “sexually mature.”

Look, it’s very rare that I’m speechless, son. However; I’M FUCKING SPEECHLESS! I’m confused on so many levels, man! How can any functional human being speak so casually about the abuse of children? In addition, how can anyone who’s actually been abused be so nonchalant about taking a child’s innocence? I’m fucking baffled, bruh! Without question, Milo is one of the most hateful people walking this Earth. He gives no respect to women, children or anybody else, for that matter. It’s fucking disgusting, son! Shit, “disgusting” is not even a strong enough word, man. Real talk, I don’t even know how to accurately describe my disdain for this dude.

Ultimately, I’m ecstatic that Milo is losing all of achievements. So far, he’s lost his Conservative Political Action Conference invitation, his book deal and his job at Breitbart. It’s ridiculous that it took this long to get rid of him, but I’ll take it, man. All in all, Breitbart has produced nothing but hate, son. That site needs to be eradicated, along with everyone that contributes to it. LC out.

P.S. Bill Maher can get the fuck outta here too. No one’s giving this dude credit for getting Milo fired, son. Maher’s a clown for even having him on his show in the first place, man. That is all.