Omarion Is The Lord & Savior Of Petty

Man… Just when Lil’ Fizz thought it was safe to come outside, Omarion hit him with the chopper, son. Now, as we all know, I’ve already called Omarion the new Phil Jackson in a previous post. All I can say is, I’m doubling down on those sentiments, fam. Shit, not only is Omarion a Zen Master, but he also utilized another facet of Jackson’s game: strategy.

So, for those who are unaware, The Millennium Tour is coming back to a city near you in 2020. Now, people may associate B2K, Omarion’s former group, with the tour. Hell, the group actually reunited after a long hiatus because of that concert series. However, folks better not expect to see none of them other dudes on this one, man. Real talk, Omarion said “who” and then proceeded to book his own lineup for the 2020 run.

Now, according to the press release, Omarion is co-headlining the upcoming tour with Bow Wow and bringing the Ying Yang Twins, Pretty Ricky, Soulja Boy, Lloyd and Sammie along for the ride. To make matters even funnier, Omarion released this news on Fizz’ birthday. Needless to say, that looks like a fucking checkmate to me, bruh.

Listen, at this point, I’m sure everyone is in agreement that high-levels of pettiness is going on here. I mean, even J-Boog believes that the relationship between Fizz and Apryl Jones is the catalyst for this shit, son. All in all, I don’t blame Omarion one bit, man. On the real, why should he help a guy get money if that guy is going to smash his ex AND publicly talk shit about him? Look, good luck booking another venue, Fizz.

In the end, I don’t care if Omarion appears “bothered” or not. Ultimately, he ain’t got to break bread with folks who keep his name in their mouths. Besides, B2K needs Omarion, not the other way around. So, maybe Fizz should’ve behaved with a little more couth and decorum, fam. At the end of the day, he shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds him AND the woman he insisted on dating. This is chess, not checkers, bruh. Good day. LC out.

Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

A Letter To Soulja Boy

Dear Soulja Boy,

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you, bro? Even though you’ve always been a clown, over the past year, you’ve ascended to Jedi-levels of Ronald McDonald. At this point, you’ve probably beefed with every artist who’s more relevant than you. From Lil Yachty to Migos to Chris Brown, you’ve taken it upon yourself to let your Fuckboy Flag fly. Ultimately, all I know is, it’s time for you to disappear forever. Forever-ever.

First, you decided to beef with Lil Yachty over an Instagram chick. The funny thing is, I’m not even sure which of you is more of a loser in this situation. India Love doesn’t claim either one of you fools and y’all are out here tweaking on social media. I’m sorry, but real men don’t post screenshots of private conversations they had with other people. If you’re talking to India and Yachty behind the scenes, then keep that shit behind the scenes, man. The general public doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of this, son. Keep the fuckery under wraps, bro.

Next, you randomly decided to drag Quavo and the rest of Migos into your world of nonsense. Honestly, I’m not even sure what this conflict was about, man. All I know is, you got on IG, again, and flashed a potentially fake AK-47 for all to see. So, are you trying to convince us that you’re a goon now? Are we, the people, supposed to be scared of the dude who made “Yahhh!“? Bruh, if you don’t sit your short bus ass down. Look, I don’t even think you can spell the word “gun,” let alone actually shoot someone with one. Get the fuck outta here, man!

Finally, you decided to enter into a new conflict with Chris Brown over Karrueche, of all people. You alleged that Chris called you over liking one of Karrueche’s pictures and then proceeded to offer Chris all types of fade. Now, while Chris is no stranger to fuck shit, I have a hard time believing this tall tale. Keeping it a buck, I think you have a vivid imagination and be dreaming all of your gripes. With that being said, let me make one thing clear: no one, and I mean NO ONE, is threatened by you, son. We all saw your recent jailhouse picture, bro. When shit got real, you tensed up reeeeeeal quick. Don’t pretend to be about that life if you’re gonna piss on yourself when shit goes down. That’s not keeping it G, my dude. Not in the least.

In the end, I need you to disappear, son. Your career has run its course, man. As it stands now, you’re nothing more than a character to make fun of. I mean, I’ve been laughing at Joe Budden‘s impersonation of you for the last few days now. This is how we all view you, man. On the real, just take whatever money you have left and banish yourself to the mountains. That’s truly what the people want, bro. And that’s truly what the people deserve.


A dude who actually used to jam out to “Pretty Boy Swag