A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

Travis Scott Needs To Give Christian Adam These Hands

So, let me just skip the formalities, son. I mean, if anyone is even remotely familiar with Travis Scott or Kylie Jenner, they’d be aware of the “cheating scandal,” man. Now, I put “cheating scandal” in quotations because the infidelity never occurred, fam. As a matter of fact, the picture floating around that allegedly showed Scott with another woman was all a ruse, bruh. In actuality, a dude named Christian Adam, also known as ChristianAdamG, pretended to be Scott as part of a “social experiment.” All I know is, if I were Scott, I’d have to lay holy hands on Adam, folks.

Ok, before I continue, let me try to explain what Adam’s intentions were. Now, according to him, he wanted to show everyone how gullible the internet is. Anyway, to prove his point, he colored his braids to match Scott’s, got up on a balcony with some thick chick and let social media do the rest. Next, TMZ took the picture and ran with it. From there, I started seeing everybody repost the pic and comment about how Scott was wilin’ in these streets. Hell, even I saw the photo and was like “welp, they caught my guy slipping, son.” So, all in all, Adam’s experiment worked, man. Frankly, he successfully proved that the internet will run with anything without fact-checking, fam.

Moving on, as a dude with a wife and kids, I would be LIVID if I were Scott, bruh. Look, I know he and Jenner are showing a united front, but I guarantee he had to answer some questions at home, son. The way I see it, if another person fraudulently causes turmoil in my household, that person needs to be put in a rear-naked choke. Like, don’t conduct no experiments at my expense, man. Real talk, women almost NEVER believe the “it wasn’t me” excuse, fam. Listen, it ain’t work for Shaggy and it damn sure wouldn’t work for Scott. Keeping it a buck, this situation is one of the rare times when “this isn’t what it looks like” is actually applicable, brethren.

In the end, bravo, Adam. Ultimately, he got his point across, son. By and by, the internet is definitely as stupid as he thought it was. At the end of the day, he better be careful, man. On the real, he shouldn’t be surprised if he starts to see random fists thrown in his direction, fam. All I can say is, that’s the risk he took by messing with another man’s family. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Know If I Believe This Dwight Howard Story

Now, let me begin this post by saying that I don’t care if Dwight Howard is gay or not. I don’t care if he’s bisexual or if he gets down with transgender women. All I know is, I don’t want that dude on my basketball team. In any case, Howard’s name is being dragged through the mud because of a story by Masin Elijè. Apparently, according to Elijè, Howard is his ex-boyfriend. Furthermore, Elijè took it upon himself to “out” Howard due to alleged threats of violence. With all of that being said, I have some real doubts about Elijè’s story, son.

Ok, for those who missed it, Elijè is claiming that he had a relationship with Howard. Now, based on his story, their situation ended because of Howard’s infidelity and possible attraction to transgender women. From there, I’ve read some other shit about sex parties and allegations that Howard’s pastor threatened Elijè’s life. The word is, all of this has transpired because he wouldn’t sign an NDA about his time with Howard. Look, all of this could very well be true, man. But, based on the person telling the story, I might have to call shenanigans, fam.

Listen, Elijè is no stranger to the bullshit, bruh. Just last year, both Elijè and Rubi Rose tried to run the same scam on Playboi Carti. After Rose and Carti broke up, she alleged that Carti was messing around with Elijè. Anyway, Elijè tried to put out some DM’s to corroborate the story and most people believe they were fabricated. Fast forward to now and her DM’s with Howard also look shaky. For one, Elijè’s responses are missing the normal text bubbles that appear in Instagram conversations. So, they appear to be doctored as hell, son. All I can say is, we don’t believe Elijè, he needs more people.

In the end, who cares if Howard is gay, man. Ultimately, that ain’t any of our business, fam. Frankly, all we need to know is that he’s a trash NBA player. Ok, yeah, he was dominant at one point in time, but that time is long gone, bruh. By and by, some of the “hurt butt” jokes are funny, but falsely outing someone is bullshit, son. Hell, even legitimately outing someone is bullshit, folks. At the end of the day, that’s not another person’s call to make. The way I see it, Elijè better be telling the truth, people. If not, I hope Howard sues him for erythang. Not “everything,” but erythang. That is all. LC out.

Umm, I Love Jill Scott

Disclaimer: My wife knows I love Jill Scott. Like, I looooove Jill Scott. So, don’t judge me, son. I’m going to be out here wilin’ today.

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, man. Real talk, if anyone has ever listened to Jill Scott’s music, they’d already know she’s a freak freak, fam. With that being said, the video circulating around social media shouldn’t be a surprise, bruh. Regardless, the creep in me gives her two thumbs up, folks. I mean, come on, people! This is Grade A entertainment, brethren! All jokes aside, I didn’t need another reason to crush on Jill Scott. However, she definitely gave me one.

Now, for those who missed it, Scott is out here letting her freak flag fly. Apparently, at a (recent?) show, Scott gave the crowd a preview of her fellatio game. Like, she went through ALL of the steps on her microphone, son. She started with no hands, THEN she hit the two-hand pepper mill, THEN she gave some love to the balls and THEN she let the mic finish on her face. Side note, if anyone thinks I’m being crude, just watch the video, man. I didn’t make up any of this, fam. In any case, her simulation has opposing opinions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Look, let’s be honest here, bruh. On the real, if anybody is taken aback by Scott’s actions, then they must’ve never heard a word she’s sang, son. Hell, before I continue, I want everyone to read some of her lyrics below:

Love slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin and landed in his lap…

Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck, blended with my all day Chanel scent…

Flip side, stomach meets sheets, he plows inside as if he’s making beats…

Listen, the moral of the story is, Scott’s BEEN with the shits, man. Frankly, that’s one of the main reasons why I’ve had a crush on her for so long, fam. Shit, her musical talents are a given, bruh. Plainly put, she has one of the best singing voices ever. However, she’s also freaky as a muhfucka, dawg. For God‘s sake, who doesn’t love that, man?!

In the end, long live Jill Scott! Ultimately, this video proves that she wasn’t bullshitting in them lyrics, son. By and by, Scott is exactly who she said she was, fam. At the end of the day, I’m here for all of it, bruh. Now, let me go holla at my wife and apologize for my public thirst. Good day. LC out.

My 500th Post

So, I won’t lie, son. I don’t really have anything weighing on my mind today, man. Well, that’s not true at all. I mean, I have a million things on my mind, but nothing that I feel the need to write about, fam. Instead, I just want to take this time to thank any and everybody who supports this raggedy ass blog, bruh. Shit, as of today, I’ve reached 500 posts, brethren. Real talk, that’s a lot of fucking writing, folks. All I can say is, I wouldn’t have kept this up if people didn’t hold me down. Hell, every time I’ve wanted to quit, someone would randomly give me a word that I needed to hear. With that being said, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I don’t take any of it for granted. In the end, I’m going to do my best to make sure my shit ain’t trash, people. Love y’all! That is all. LC out.

Uh, Shout-out To Taylor Swift

So, I won’t lie, son. It’s super easy to hate on Taylor Swift, man. I mean, she’s made a career out of dissing ex-boyfriends and being fake humble, fam. All I can say is, that ain’t the type of vibe I regularly endorse, bruh. In any case, I have to give credit where credit is due. Normally, when someone has a platform as huge as hers, they steer clear of ALL political discussions. However, instead of running from her influence, Swift has decided to use her name in a positive way. All in all, salute to Swift, brethren!

Ok, for those who missed it, Swift took to Instagram to talk about the upcoming midterm elections. Now, while her tax bracket might suggest some Republican ties, she actually took the time to endorse some Democratic candidates. Then again, it’s not necessarily about whether she’s a Democrat or a Republican. Frankly, she simply doesn’t bang with Marsha Blackburn, a GOP candidate running for Senate in Tennessee. Anyway, instead of just being a contrarian for the sake of it, Swift actually explained why she doesn’t rock with Blackburn. For one, she pointed to Blackburn’s views on women and gay rights. Furthermore, Swift actually brought up systemic racism in America, something I NEVER thought I’d see from her.

Moving on, Swift gave her support for Phil Bredesen for the Senate and Jim Cooper for the House of Representatives. Needless to say, a lot of people, including myself, were shocked that she made such a public declaration. Shit, in 2018, who would’ve thought that Swift would be out here talking about racism while Kanye West is busy giving Donald Trump a dick-flute solo? *Sigh* These are strange fucking times we live in, son. Strange times indeed.

In the end, shout-out to Taylor Swift, man. Hell, even though I’ve never given her any props before, I guess there’s a first time for everything, fam. Ultimately, I agree most with one point she made: “vote based on who most closely represents your values.” By and by, that doesn’t have shit to do with party lines, bruh. Now, everybody, get out there and vote on November 6! That is all. LC out.

Nas Wrote A Dissertation About Kelis

So, this entire story is a mess, son. I mean, I’ve already talked about Kelis‘ allegations against Nas. I’ve already spoken about how disappointed I was/am at the idea of one of my favorite rappers being an abuser. Now, apparently, Nas has had enough, man. In probably the longest Instagram post I’ve ever seen, Nas addressed every statement that Kelis has made against him. In addition, he made a few explosive accusations of his own, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me make something clear, bruh. Look, I’m not here to take sides in this debate, son. Frankly, none of us were in the Jones family home, so we don’t know what’s real, man. With that being said, Nas alleged that Kelis completely fabricated the rumors against him. Also, he claimed that SHE was the one who was abusive in the relationship. Shit, he told stories about how she attacked him in front of their son and alienated him from some of his family and friends.

From there, Nas claimed that Kelis is only doing this because of their custody fight. Currently, the two stars are in court over their son, and according to Nas, THIS is why Kelis is saying such things about him. Now, to be real, I don’t know what to make of this scenario, fam. Like I said before, none of us were in their home. So, I don’t know who’s telling the truth and who’s lying. All I know is, it’s a damn shame that all of this is playing out in public, bruh. Hell, they have a son to raise, man. On the real, the kid doesn’t need to grow up knowing that his parents hate each other, people.

In the end, people can read Nas’ dissertation here. Real talk, I suggest that everyone reads the entire thing, son. Ok, yes, it’s long as fuck, but Nas said a lot of shit in there, man. Ultimately, custody battles are always trash and tragic, fam. By and by, ALL parents need to figure out how to co-parent harmoniously. At the end of the day, the children need it, bruh. That is all. LC out.