‘Fled Cruz’ Is Hilarious

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, the internet never ceases to be funny, man. I mean, no matter the situation, the online community will find a way to make shit hilarious. With that being said, the name “Fled Cruz” is a special brand of comical. Like, on what planet did Ted Cruz think it was cool to ditch Texas during the middle of a crisis? Shit, after his role in fanning the flames of the U.S. Capitol riot, one would think that Cruz would try to be as helpful as possible. But, nope, brethren. Instead, Cruz tried to bounce with his family and really thought that people wouldn’t notice. All in all, he’s a certified clown, fam.

Ok, for those who are unaware, Texas is a shit-show right now. Thanks to climate change, the state has been battered with unprecedented amounts of snow and ice. Because of this, millions of people are residing in frozen houses that are without power. To clarify, the motherfucking Texas power grid just gave up, bruh. Furthermore, because of these extraordinary times, resources such as food and water are becoming an issue for residents. So, during a moment like this, what should the community expect from its elected officials? They should be finding ways to rectify the power issues and get supplies to the people, right? Well, that’s not what Ted Cruz did. In fact, to get away from the problems of his fellow Texans, Cruz hopped on a plane with his family to Cancún, Mexico. *Sigh* He’s such a great Senator, son.

Now, here’s the thing. The fact is, Cruz can’t pretend like this was some planned trip. Based on leaked text messages, his wife, Heidi Cruz, put this vacation in motion because their “house is FREEZING.” Well, welcome to the club, Heidi. Frankly, all of her father’s constituents are in the same boat and a lot of them don’t have the ability to flee the scene. Keeping it a buck, how dense can one man be, fam? Like, did he really think this was a good idea? To abandon the people who voted for him? For God‘s sake, Ted Cruz continually shows us that he’s of low character. Hell, I guess promoting a riot wasn’t bad enough. Now he wants to take the easy way out while his people suffer. Bravo, fool.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, son. Ultimately, I’m not surprised by Cruz’ ain’t-shit-ness. By and by, these politicians just continue to show us that they don’t give a fuck about the people. At the end of the day, we get what we vote for. That is all. LC out.

Who Are These Weirdos Who Like Snow?

Listen, I hate snow, son. Like, I REALLY hate snow, man. I mean, around the age of 10, I realized that snow was nothing more than some powdery shit that gets in the cotdamn way. Needless to say, I don’t understand adults who actually like snow. Real talk, I question if those people have substantial things to do. If so, then I guarantee all of this gratuitous snow is slowing them down, fam. In any case, I really want to know, who are these weird ass people who enjoy this type of weather, bruh?

Ok, I won’t lie, son. I was inspired to write this post after digging my car out of the snow this morning. Now, therein lies my point, man. Look, before taking my youngest son to school and before going to work, I had to spend time shoveling my car out of the abyss. Essentially, snow ain’t nothing more than a nuisance, fam. Shit, even when it comes to the kids, after the snow turns dirty, they can’t play in the shit anymore. So, why would anyone enjoy this tomfoolery, bruh?

In the end, I’m just bitter, son. On the real, I was born and raised in New York City and STILL can’t jive with this snow shit, man. Keeping it a buck, every winter, I wonder why the fuck I’m still here, fam. Hell, growing up, I was used to blizzards and shit, bruh. Now, we’ve got to deal with “bomb cyclones” and “polar vortices.” Ultimately, I don’t know what any of those phrases mean, folks. However; I do know that it means that parking is going to be a damn safari for the next month or two. By and by, I’m over all of it, folks. That is all. LC out.