Go Home, Congress, You’re Drunk

Did anyone know President Obama was responsible for the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster? Did anyone know he was responsible for the Watergate scandal? Wait, did anyone know Obama was chiefly responsible for the Great Depression in the 1930s? Well, if we all listened to the idiots in Congress, they’d probably try to convince us of all of those things. Look, just ONE day after overriding Obama’s veto of the controversial 9/11 law, Congress has suddenly had a change of heart. Now, instead of just admitting to their foolish errors, they still found a way to blame Obama for their own ineptitude. It’s so baffling to watch, son.

To start off, the 9/11 bill is a law that allows families to sue Saudi Arabia for their involvement in the World Trade Center attacks. Now, in theory, this sounds fantastic. However; there are certain complications that could potentially arise from a move like this. Namely, this could put the United States and our soldiers at risk for the same type of lawsuits. In case anyone forgot, America has a LONG history of fucking shit up in other people’s countries. So, if we start suing other nations for attacks, we could potentially be on the hook for the same tactic. Both Obama AND CIA Director John Brennan expressed these concerns.

With all of that being said, Congress heard these objections, said “fuck that” and hit Obama’s veto with the override. The Senate, for example, was so sure of itself, the vote was 97 to 1. 97 to fucking 1, man. That’s like the worst college football score ever, son. No type of “mercy rule,” bro. From there, the House followed in the tomfoolery and also passed the bill. Now, all of a sudden, Congress wants to change parts of the bill to protect our troops and blames Obama for not explaining the possible consequences. Are these people fucking kidding me, man? I swear, Republicans have made it their life’s mission to just disregard anything Obama says or does. Now, they got caught with their asses in the air and they still tried to pin it on him.

Regardless of what anyone else tries to say, it’s not his fault the Republican-led Congress didn’t think this one through. Shit, Mitch McConnell literally said “nobody focused on the potential downside in terms of our international relationships.” How on Earth is that an Obama issue? Look, if my mother told me not to touch the stove, I can’t then blame her for a burnt hand if I did it anyway. Honestly, if I tried that, I’d probably get backhanded in the mouth, man. Get these clowns the fuck out of here, son.

In the end, Congress must’ve really taken a lot of cues from Brexit. Apparently, it’s good form to overwhelmingly vote on something without doing proper research. Look, I’m no Obama apologist, but Congress blaming him for failing to do their job is ridiculous. Maybe, if they didn’t have such a hard-on for fighting him at every turn, then they would’ve made the right decision. Then again, maybe not, son. We have an ABUNDANT amount of idiots in our government. Good day.

The Revisionist History Of Barack Obama

Ok, look, I’m well aware of the fact everyone doesn’t agree with each other when it comes to ideology. However; there’s a HUGE difference between disagreeing with someone and flat out lying about them. Now, regardless of how anyone feels about President Barack Obama, it’s clear as day that individuals like Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani and Katrina Pierson are essentially spreading falsehoods about the president and his record. With that being said, let’s take this time to relentlessly roast these clowns.

First, let’s talk about Donald Trump, the man we all know and love. Even though he’s already tried to backtrack from his comments, this past Friday, Trump entered yet another absurd statement into the zeitgeist. During one of his campaign speeches, Trump came right out and claimed Obama was the founder of ISIS. While he tried to chalk his foolishness up to “sarcasm,” other GOP pundits attempted to lay the blame on a supposed “power vacuum” created due to Obama removing the troops from Iraq. Either way, both factions are ridiculously wrong. On one hand, I’m about tired of a presidential nominee consistently making “sarcastic” remarks. This dude is running to be the leader of the free world and all he wants to do is make fucking jokes. At this point, I can name more lame wisecracks he’s made than actual policies he suggested. Now, for the individuals who think Obama created a power vacuum in Iraq, I’d like those dummies to look up the U.S.-Iraq Status of Forces Agreement. This agreement was signed by George W. Bush in 2008 and stated that America would remove combat forces from Iraqi cities by June 30, 2009 and be completely out of Iraq by December 31, 2011. So, if Republicans want to blame anybody for the fuckery happening in the Middle East, blame GW. He’s the one who actually created the aforementioned power vacuum.

Next, let’s address my former mayor, Rudy Giuliani. During a speech on Monday, Giuliani claimed there weren’t “any successful radical Islamic terrorist [attacks] in the United States” during the eight years preceding Obama’s tenure. Son, that is literally the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Honestly, how can this clown forget that 9/11 happened while Bush was in office? Giuliani has built his entire mythology around the false idea he was some sort of hero after the attack on the World Trade Center. However; he conveniently forgot this fact while berating Obama. This man is such a clown, son. People like him want to believe their narrative so much, they will completely ignore basic facts in order to make a point. Look, will the media stop giving this fool a microphone? Please?

Finally, I need to acknowledge the consistent tomfoolery that comes out of Katrina Pierson‘s mouth. To be honest, I have no idea what her purpose in life is, but she’s always on someone’s news network, defying common logic with her stupidity. While I don’t have time to comment on EVERY ridiculous statement she’s made, I would like to talk about her memory of the war in Afghanistan. During an appearance on CNN, she insisted President Obama was responsible for invading the country. She even went so far as to call the conflict “Obama’s war.” Here’s the thing: the war in Afghanistan began in 2001, a good eight years before Obama even made it to the Oval Office. Once again, this was yet another incident that occurred under GW’s watch. Seriously, do Republicans forget Bush was in office for eight years too? Do they not remember any of the actions he took? Look, I just want to remind everyone out there, people like her are the ones supporting Trump. In my eyes, that should tell folks everything they need to know about his candidacy.

In the end, if someone out there wants to criticize another person, at least have the decency to be factual in the attacks being made. At the bare minimum, let the hate be grounded in something that can survive being fact-checked. Otherwise, shut the fuckidy-fuck up and get off of our television screens. Good day.

Let’s Talk About Black-On-Black Crime


Now, I’m fully aware I dropped the ball on a post for Thursday. Hey, cut me some slack, son. Life happens to everyone sometimes. In any case, I’m back to round out my week of Blackity-Black, super Black topics. To put a cap on my latest series of ramblings, let’s talk about a lot of people’s favorite topic: Black-on-Black crime. With all of the events currently going on in the country, a select few have tried to distract the masses by bringing this concept up. It’s time for me to jump into the bullshit.

Let us begin by bringing up everyone’s favorite, as in least favorite, mayor: Rudolph William Louis Giuliani. Now, as I’ve previously stated on this blog, I’m a New York City native, born and raised. Meaning, I was here before Rudy’s tenure as mayor, and I’m still here long after his shift was completed. For those who aren’t familiar with this man, to him, his greatest claim to fame has been “uniting the city” after the September 11th terrorist attacks. Side bar, I put that last phrase in quotations because I know there are a multitude of firefighters who would disagree with that sentiment. In any case, I’m here to call attention to an interview this dude gave recently where, in response to the Dallas police shootings, he alleged there’s a “99 percent chance” a Black person would be killed by another Black person, and not by the police.

For me, that statement is the pinnacle example of a narrative that is consistently brought up by people who refuse to acknowledge police misconduct. The most infuriating part of this ploy is the fact it only tells one side of the story. Now, yes, if you looked into the FBI‘s statistics for homicides in this country, you will see that roughly 90% of Black homicide victims were killed by Black people. What naysayers neglect to tell you is the fact 83% of White homicide victims were murdered by White people. With that being said, I want everyone who’s reading this to go back and take a look at the embedded picture in this post. Those fraudulent statistics were posted by Donald J. Trump, the Republican nominee for president, on his Twitter timeline. These methods are used to distract people from the reality of the situation and shift the blame to another entity. Since the percentages for both races are so high, why do detractors conveniently leave out the part about their White counterparts killing their own people too?

Look, coming from an inner city neighborhood, I’m well aware of the fact there are potential dangers and pitfalls. In any community, there will always be individuals who are damaging to the fabric of a group of people. I will also tell you this: if I decided to shoot and kill someone tonight, I guarantee I’m going to prison for my offense. THAT is what Black people are trying to highlight when talking about police injustice. When a member of our community is unjustly killed by anyone, INCLUDING someone with a badge, we simply want that person to be held accountable. Too many times we’ve seen officers not even receive as much as a slap on the wrist for ending a Black person’s life. Just recently, here in New York, officer Peter Liang only got five years of probation and community service for murdering Akai Gurley. You mean to tell me, I can get locked up for driving with a suspended license, but this officer can go home after taking someone’s life? It’s complete bullshit, man. For a man like Guiliani to ignore police misconduct, when two of the most egregious examples of crooked policing happened under his watch, is an absolute joke. Don’t believe me? Go ask the families of Abner Louima and Amadou Diallo. I’m pretty sure neither faction was/is particularly fond of his brand of “justice.”

In the end, the point here is, don’t use an underdeveloped argument to excuse the misdeeds of some officers out there. For the life of me, I still can’t understand why police apologists can’t just admit there are officers who step outside of their boundaries and simply work to rid the system of these individuals. Don’t tell me to “respect myself” in order for an officer to respect me. When it comes to folks like me, we already respect ourselves. Most of us are law abiding citizens who simply want to freely live our lives. How about the officers our tax dollars support abide by the same laws they’ve sworn to protect? That seems like the more reasonable option. Good day.

P.S. I’m completely done with Charles Barkley playing the Uncle Ruckus role. In response to the unnecessary shootings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling, Chuck thought it was a good idea to say that some Black people are “crooks,” which is why the dead victims were profiled in this manner. This no-ring-having ass fool! Go look at Castile’s record, dick! Oh, wait, there isn’t one! How dare he justify the shootings of people who look like HIM by spewing rhetoric that doesn’t even describe all of the dead people he’s disgracing. What were Diallo’s crimes? What were Sean Bell‘s crimes? What were Tamir Rice‘s crimes? In addition, why are we bringing up anyone’s record if it’s unrelated to the situation that led to the person’s death? It’s needless character assassination and a tactic used to devalue the lives of people who can’t defend themselves. Honestly, I hate people like Chuck more than anyone else. Traitors have no business even associating with us. He just needs to keep his dumb ass opinions for Inside The NBA, so Shaquille O’Neal and Kenny Smith can continue to let him know how useless his point of view is. Ok, now I’m really done. Adios, kind people.