The REAL Faces Of Terror

Disclaimer: This post is probably going to piss some people off, son. Tough shit, man.

Look, I’m going to just get straight to the point, fam. When it comes to terrorism in America, radical Muslims aren’t our biggest threat. Now, if we’re keeping it a buck here, there’s one group who’s a larger problem than anyone else: White men. Listen, I know a lot of people are going to take this post the wrong way, but the numbers don’t lie, bruh. Since 9/11, WAY more Americans have been killed by White men than Islamic extremists. All in all, THIS is the REAL face of terror, folks!

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: radical Islamic terrorists are a real problem. Now, I don’t want to make it sound like I don’t believe that groups like ISIS and al-Qaeda are a problem. With that being said, they don’t cause NEARLY as many issues in the United States as politicians would have us believe. Shit, even when it comes to extremist-related attacks, a good number of the perpetrators are U.S. citizens. In addition, even when they’re not citizens, none of them come from the countries on Donald Trump’s Muslim Ban. So, what terror is he preventing exactly?

So, I was compelled to write this post after the tragedy in Sutherland Springs, Texas. Just yesterday, 26-year-old Devin Patrick Kelley opened fire at First Baptist Church. In the wake of the carnage, 26 people were killed, including the pastor’s daughter. Now, once his mayhem had subsided, he was found dead in his vehicle, seemingly from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. As of now, we have no idea what his motive was. However; history tells us that he was a piece of shit.

Now, based on recently-released information, Kelley was a bad seed through and through. During his time in the Air Force, he was court-martialed for beating up his wife and his child. He ended up serving a year in a military prison and was subsequently dishonorably discharged. Furthermore, he wasn’t allowed to own any weapons but still descended upon the people in that church with an assault rifle. *Sigh* Man, half of the parishioners are dead and we have NO clue why, son.

Moving on, I don’t want to turn this into a political debate, but Trump truly makes my blood boil, man. He couldn’t WAIT to call Sayfullo Saipov an “animal,” but had no such words for Kelley. Instead, he chalked it all up to a “mental health” issue and refused to comment on gun control. Well, if it’s “too early” to talk about gun reform, then why isn’t it too early to talk about mental health? Let’s be real, Trump doesn’t know anything about this man, fam. So, how does he know whether or not he’s crazy? Bruh, get the flying fuck outta here!

In the end, I just want this country to be honest with itself, son. Devin Patrick Kelley is a terrorist, man. Stephen Paddock is a terrorist, fam. Ultimately, Americans have a higher probability of running into them than an Islamic extremist. By and by, until we come to grips with these facts, people are going to keep on dying, bruh. All I can say, Rest In Peace to all of the innocent people who lost their lives. LC out.

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Where Was Barack Obama During Hurricane Katrina?

Listen, people are stupid, son. Like, if we’re keeping it all of the way real, there are TONS of idiotic folks in our world. With that being said, it takes a special brand of moron to turn Hurricane Harvey into a bipartisan issue. However; some Donald Trump supporters have found a way to do it, man. Now, in an attempt to praise Trump’s response to Harvey, a few fools took aim at Barack Obama‘s response to Hurricane Katrina. There’s only one problem, fam: OBAMA WASN’T PRESIDENT DURING HURRICANE KATRINA!

Man, the dumb-dumb levels of some individuals are just mind-boggling. Look, not only did people claim that Obama botched the Katrina relief effort, but they even insinuated that he was golfing instead of doing his job. Keep in mind, Katrina occurred in 2005. Obama didn’t get elected until 2008 and didn’t take office until 2009. Back in ’05, he was only a Senator in Illinois and George W. Bush was the President. Now, despite that fact, Obama STILL made his way down to New Orleans to provide aid to the people. THAT’s what he was doing during Hurricane Katrina, son!

Listen, I’m no Obama apologist, but clowns go out of their way to try and make that man look bad. Shit, what’s next? Was he responsible for 9/11? Did he cause the Challenger to explode? Oh, wait, Vietnam was all his fault, bruh! Along with Pearl Harbor, the Great Depression AND the Civil War, fam! All in all, just blame the Black man! I mean, EVERYTHING is on him, man!

In the end, my head hurts, son. Like, people suck, bruh. On the real, dummies who think like this are allowed to vote in this country, people. These asshats have a hand and a voice in our political system. All I can say is, this is exactly why we’re doomed as a nation. By and by, thanks for giving me a daily reminder of the inevitable, Trump supporters. LC out.

The Muslim Ban: An Official Rebuke Of The First Amendment

*Sigh* No lie, I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate myself all weekend. We’re literally watching the destruction of America right before our very eyes. Now, if anyone wants to read our country’s First Amendment, they’ll notice that the first thing the bill guarantees is freedom of religion. With one stroke of his pen, Donald Trump has egregiously violated our Constitution. On the real, based on Trump’s first ten days in office, I’m thoroughly convinced we’re on the verge of both World War III and Civil War II.

At this point, if anyone reading this is unaware of Trump’s Muslim Ban executive order, then… Google, son. Like, being in the dark on this issue is unacceptable. Trump essentially banned the entry of citizens from Syria, Iran, Sudan, Libya, Somalia, Yemen and Iraq. This is part of the “extreme vetting” that Trump constantly spoke about during his campaign run. According to his logic, this is to protect us from potential terrorist attacks. However; if that’s really the case, why aren’t Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Egypt on this list? Last time I checked, terrorists from these countries have actually attacked us. Has anyone heard of a little event called 9/11?

Look, I’m not naive and I’m fully away of the fact that ISIS has footing in some of the countries listed in the ban. However; here’s something to consider: Islamic radicals are killing mass amounts of their own people in these countries! That’s why countless innocent families are trying to flee and seek solace. Even outside of these refugees, green card holders and valid visa carriers were also being detained at airports. That’s right, son. People who had the LEGAL RIGHT to enter our country were being held up at numerous airports across the nation. Needless to say, the American public has had enough of the fuck shit and have taken to the streets to protest.

Now, here’s where Trump’s hypocrisy takes center stage. He claims that the ban isn’t based on religion, but his executive order gives preference to Christian refugees. Good fucking Lord, man! We’re watching an administration vehemently lie to our faces and then pretend like we don’t see the bullshit. This entire episode is one of the most deplorable violations of democracy I’ve ever seen. Like, I’m having a very hard time putting all of this into words, man. Our rights are being trampled on for the entire world to see, son.

As a response, Iran has already made strides to block U.S. visitors. Does everyone see what’s happening here? We’re very rapidly entering into a zone that can have very dangerous ramifications. Thanks to Trump, we’re already on bad terms with NATO and the United Nations. If we stay on this trajectory, we could end up in a military conflict with no allies to back us. So far, we’ve pissed off Europe, our Hispanic neighbors to the South and our Canadian neighbors to the North. If we add public unrest to that equation, we truly have the ingredients for another World War AND another Civil War.

All in all, to all of my Muslim brothers and sisters out there: your religion is not a crime. Donald Trump does NOT speak for the people and we categorically condemn everything he stands for. All jokes aside, the revolution is now and everyone needs to decide what side they’re on. All I know is, these despicable acts of injustice CANNOT continue. LC out.

Joseph Fiennes Killed Michael Jackson Again

So, I want everyone reading this to take a hard look at the picture above. LOOK AT THAT SHIT, MAN! Who approved this fuckery, son?! Why would Hollywood allow this bullshit to happen? I know the film industry has a long, looooooong history of Whitewashing historically Black characters, but this is out of control, man. All I know is, Joseph Fiennes and the entire staff of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon need to be beaten with rubber hoses for what they did to Michael Jackson.

Now, before I continue eviscerating Fiennes for the bullshit makeup on his face, I want to talk about the plot of this movie. So, apparently, right after the 9/11 attacks, Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando hopped in a car and road tripped with each other from New York to California. Needless to say, shenanigans ensued along the way. *Sigh* Like, that’s a real plot, son. I mean, let’s put all of this into perspective. First, a screenplay was written about this. Next, a director signed on to make this. Finally, a cast and crew was put together to complete this. Along the way, ANYONE could’ve been like “ay, yo, this is a stupid ass idea.” However; NO ONE said that, son. I’m fucking baffled, man. Absolutely baffled.

Ok, getting back to Fiennes, I have so many fucking questions, son. First, why was this White dude allowed to play one of our greatest Black icons in the first place? Look, this isn’t a fictional character where it’s up to interpretation. Michael Joseph Jackson was a living, breathing human being and he was BLACK! All the vitiligo and plastic surgery in the world couldn’t change the fact that he was a Negro from Gary, Indiana, bro. Now, if anyone questions that, just go look at the rest of his family, man. Shit, Jermaine Jackson‘s face is probably super greasy as we speak, son.

Moving on, let’s talk about Fiennes’ makeup. Ok, look, in the latter parts of his life, MJ looked like a damn fool, son. I’ll be the first to admit that. With that being said, how in the fuck does Fiennes look even worse than the real MJ? How, Sway? How?! Bruh, I’m sure there are a billion pictures of Michael circulating around the internet right now. This crew couldn’t do a better job of approximating that man’s face?! I… I’m at a fucking loss for words, son. Mixing gall with an utter lack of execution is dangerous as all hell, man. 

In the end, I’m speechless, son. Joseph Fiennes and the cast of Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon murdered MJ for a second time. Shit, they need to be in prison with Conrad Murray. Look, even though Murray was an incompetent doctor, he wasn’t aiming to kill Mike. On the other hand, the clowns who worked on this movie did this bullshit on purpose. *Sigh* I’m out.

The Most Slanderous Moments Of Barack Obama’s Presidency

So, I guess it really is over, huh? Barack Obama’s presidency is really coming to an end, huh? Donald Trump is really about to be unleashed on us, huh? Well, since I’m an expert in laughing to keep from crying, I’ve decided to talk about some of the most slanderous moments of Obama’s presidency. Over the past eight years, he’s experienced all types of shade and downright disrespect. As a matter of fact, one of the most egregious examples came from our own President-elect. With that being said, let’s go through some of the most ridiculous things that have happened to our soon-to-be former President.

First, let’s talk about the time Barack and Michelle Obama gave each other dap and the right-wing called it a “terrorist fist jab.” Like, that actually happened, son. Back in June of 2008, while the then-Senator was running his presidential campaign, there was a Fox News panel discussion about his exchange with Michelle. Like, pundits legit sat around a table and tried to decipher giving dap, man. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up, son. Now, I’ve seen and heard plenty of stupid things in my lifetime, but this might be on the Mount Rushmore, bro. Obama’s detractors really tried ANYTHING to discredit this dude, no matter how ridiculous the tactic was. Such is life, I guess.

Next, there was Donald Trump’s eight-year crusade to prove Obama wasn’t born in America. To this day, I have no idea how the “birther movement” grew legs, man. Apparently, official documentation of his birth isn’t enough for idiots to concede the fact that he was born on U.S. soil. To be honest, I’m upset with Obama for even entertaining this foolishness. When he released his birth certificate, I personally felt like he was giving into the bullshit. Bruh, who cares what an orange-faced, fake-haired internet troll has to say? Just handle presidential business and let Trump continue to swim in his sea of nonsense. Then again, let me not say that, because Trump’s nonsense might get us all killed, son. Let us pray.

Finally, how about the persistent rumor that Obama is Muslim? Now, there’s multiple ways to look at this, son. At this point, I think it’s understood that these rumors were circulated to damage his reputation. As we all know, America has made Islam synonymous with terrorism. So, maybe, if Obama is presented as a Muslim, his haters could get him out of office, right?

Well, there’s a couple of ways to look at this. First off, Islam and Islamic radicalism are two different things. I really don’t understand why people don’t understand that. If we’re keeping it real here, in the Middle East, other Muslims are the biggest victims of Islamic radicalism. The right-wing doesn’t talk about that because it doesn’t fit their narrative. Since 9/11, there have been more terrorist attacks in America by White men than Al Qaeda and ISIS combined. However; naysayers remain mum on that issue. Second, our own First Amendment endorses freedom of religion. This constant disrespect to Islam is an affront to the First Amendment, man. In case people forgot, the American forefathers escaped religious persecution in Europe. It’s funny how that’s all folks want to do here now. It makes absolutely no sense, son. No sense at all.

Ultimately, I could’ve talked about a MOUNTAIN of tomfoolery that occurred during Obama’s presidency. Those three examples were just the first three that popped into my head, man. It goes without saying, Obama had to deal with a ton of fuckery during his eight years in the Oval Office. Wait, now that I think about it, I might super glue him to his White House desk so Trump has nowhere to set up shop. I refuse to except a Twitter fiend as my President, son. That’s all I have to say about that. LC out.