It Be Ya Own People: Kevin Hart Edition

So, this Kevin Hart infidelity shit just took a weird turn, huh? I mean, when I read that someone was trying to extort him with a sex tape, I just assumed it was one of the women in the video, son. On the real, I would’ve never imagined that the culprit might be someone from his inner circle, man. In any case, if the rumors are true, then Jonathan Todd Jackson is a fucking clown, fam. All in all, what part of the game is trying to extort a friend, bruh?

Ok, before I continue, allow me to be petty for a second, son. Now, while researching this story, I’ve seen several media outlets refer to Jackson as either JT or Action Jackson. First off, we already have a JT and his name is Justin Timberlake, man. Furthermore, that JT is already on thin ice after his Man of the Woods album, fam. Needless to say, we don’t need anymore fuckery from someone who goes by JT. Second, there’s only one Action Jackson and his name is Carl Weathers, bruh. Look, I ain’t never see Jonathan Todd square up with Rocky Balboa or Predator, folks. So, he doesn’t have the right to use the “Action” moniker.

Anyway, let’s get back to Jackson’s tomfoolery, son. Now, according to reports, Jackson has been charged with attempted extortion and extortion by threatening letter. Apparently, he somehow got a copy of Hart’s sex tape and tried to swindle some money out of the comedian. This is notable because these dudes used to be boys. Real talk, I only recognize Jackson’s face because of his proximity to Hart, man. Shit, I can specifically remember seeing him in Think Like a Man Too, a film that starred Hart. So, I think it’s safe to say that Hart got homie a roll in that film.

My thing is, what would lead that dude to attempt this fuck shit, fam? Keeping it a buck, if my boy tried to shake me for some cash, I might as well just confess, bruh. I’d much rather take the risk with my wife than give a carpetbagger any of my bread, son. On top of that, this friend, now former friend, would have to catch these hands, man. Lastly, I’d make him film his own beatdown, since he likes tapes so damn much. Good Lord, Jackson is a straight dumbass for this shit, people.

In the end, I hope those felony charges were worth it, son. Ultimately, if Jackson gets convicted, those consequences ain’t gonna be sweet, man. At the end of the day, stupid is as stupid does, shout-out to Forrest Gump. By and by, Jackson is the definition of stupid, fam. That is all. LC out.

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Nooo, Ronda Rousey Wasn’t Ready!

So, at this point, Kevin Hart‘s “She Wasn’t Ready” bit is so ingrained in my head, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Ronda Rousey get the tomorrow knocked outta her by Amanda Nunes. Shiiiit, that’s gotta be it, right? I mean, Rousey’s career has gotta be over, right? This is now the second straight time her face got the piñata treatment, son. First, she got the business from Holly Holm, and now Nunes got her hits in. With that being said, I think it’s safe to say, happy trails, Ronda!

Now, keeping it a buck, there really isn’t much to write about this, man. I can’t turn a 48 second fight into a dissertation. Shit, as soon as the rumble started, it ended, son. Nunes came out of gate looking for blood and Rousey had absolutely no answers. I do, however, have a question for Rousey’s coach. Rousey built her career on grappling moves and submissions. Why the fuck is she being advised to box her opponents? I would’ve assumed that the ass whooping she took from Holm would’ve been enough for her team to realize boxing is a bad fucking idea. Instead, Rousey tried to put her dukes up against Nunes and got beaten like a rented mule, man. All I can say is, her team set her up for failure. Pure failure.

Ok, so, the last point I want to make is in regards to some fuck shit Rousey’s mother said. After her daughter got her ass kicked, again, AnnMaria De Mars expressed her desire to see Rousey retire. Now, that’s not the bad part. In all honesty, that would probably be the best move for Rousey. Things got weird when De Mars said “I told her that at the beginning of this thing that [she’s] smart and beautiful, let the stupid people get punched in the face.”

Wait, huh? Naaaah, son. De Mars hasn’t earned the right to have that attitude, man. As far as we’re all concerned, her daughter is the only stupid person getting punched in the face. As we’ve seen in her last two fights, her opponents actually punch her in the face quite often, son. Maybe her daughter is the dumbest of them all because she keeps getting in the Octagon to have her shit pushed in. Someone tell De Mars to go sit her ass down somewhere. Oh, and maybe she should take her daughter with her. She clearly isn’t making it in this MMA world, man. The only fighter who can take repeated head shots and still come out on top is Rocky Balboa. And did I mention, he isn’t real!

In the end, I won’t front like that Rousey-Nunes fight wasn’t entertaining, son. Shit is bad when the entire fight can fit in an Instagram video. All I know is, the only MMA fighter who’s really worth the hype is Jon Jones. I just wish that fool would stop doing dumb shit outside of the ring. Good day.