Thick Rihanna Is The GOAT!

Disclaimer: This post is an unabashed Rihanna love fest. Haters will be handled with swift and vengeful justice.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. I was in love with the Rihanna in the first picture. I was in love with the Rihanna in the second picture. I was also in love with the Rihanna in the third picture. However; the Rihanna in that fourth picture can’t be measured by Earthly science or mathematics, man. I mean, Thick Rihanna is the greatest all of time, fam. Hands down. Frankly, I don’t want to hear any debates, people. Let’s just all praise whatever food Ms. Fenty has been eating, bruh.

Now, for those who missed it, BarbadosCrop Over festival just went down. As a man who’s half Bajan and half Vincentian, this festival means a lot to my culture. With that being said, Rihanna, a born and bred Bajan, has always frequented the celebration. Meaning, she’s always been decked out in the finest of costumes. However; the way she looked this year made me make the Carmelo Anthony risk it all” face, son. Like, her newfound thickness is a sight for sore eyes, man. Shit, she almost made me forget that the American government is in shambles, fam.

To be fair, the internet has been talking about Rih Rih’s weight gain for a little while now. On the real, social media has debated whether she’s fine, fat or something in between. All I know is, fuck anybody who doesn’t appreciate what Robyn is blessing us with, son! Look, even Chris Brown rose up from the abyss to start liking pictures, man. Listen, the curves are just undeniable, folks. All in all, I can’t critique anything she’s doing, bruh.

In the end, there’s nothing else to be said, son. Let’s just all do a praise dance in honor of Thick Rihanna. Lastly, to the rest of my congregation, feel free to enjoy the pictures below. Thanks a lot, Baby JesusLC out.


Handclaps For Kendrick Lamar!

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, man. Ultimately, I’m just here to congratulate Kendrick Lamar on the success of DAMN. I mean, let’s just keep it a buck for a second, son. This man hasn’t missed yet, fam. On the real, he’s never dropped a wack project and that’s including the mixtapes. Now, I’m not going to join the Peter Rosenberg bandwagon and proclaim that Kendrick is the best rapper ever. However; I can say that he’s successfully put himself on the level of the greatest emcees of all time. With that being said, let’s give that man his flowers while he can smell them.

Now, day after day, I see people complain about the state of music. At this point, there have been countless dissertations about why subgenres like “mumble rap” are trash. For me, instead of railing against shit I don’t like, I’d much rather champion the music I actually dig. So, I take pride in seeing songs like “HUMBLE.go number-one on the Billboard Hot 100. I take pride in seeing all of the songs on DAMN. set streaming records. Listen, there’s so much good music out here, so why waste time talking about the shit we don’t like? All in all, we should just jam out to whatever makes us move and call it a damn day, son.

In the end, there really isn’t much more to say here, fam. Shit, Kendrick did it again, man. Anyway, before I go, let’s just run through my favorite songs from the project. As of right now, I’m jamming out to “DNA.“, “ELEMENT.”, “LOYALTY.”, “HUMBLE.”, “FEAR.” and “DUCKWORTH.” Let’s keep the good music rolling, son. LC out.

A Letter To Chris Brown

Dear Chris Brown,

What the fuck is wrong with you, son? You mean to tell me, after all of this time, you haven’t learned anything? After Rihanna, prison and God knows how many public incidents, you really haven’t learned a fucking thing? Bruh, what is your issue with women, man? Why do you always have such high-levels of aggression toward the opposite sex? *Sigh* Ultimately, despite all of the chances you’ve been given, this latest situation with Karrueche Tran shows that you’re nothing but a lost cause.

Now, I don’t need to tell you what’s going on. I’m positive you’re already aware of the restraining order Karrueche filed against you. I’m just baffled by the fact that ANOTHER woman is accusing you of abuse after your VERY public history. I mean, we ALL know what you did to Rihanna. There’s no need to go over that again. However; how are you so dense that a different woman can accuse you of punching her and pushing her down the stairs? Karrueche even excused you of recently threatening to kill her. Apparently, you told these plans to a number of people. So, rehab, prison and a career hit wasn’t enough for you to get your shit together? Good fucking Lord, man, you are hopeless!

At this point, I don’t know how anyone can defend you anymore. Now, I’m sure your loyal fans will try to cape for you, but delusional people also cape for Donald Trump. Meaning, stupid is as stupid does, in the immortal words of Forrest Gump. In any case, when singers like Kay Cola claim that she’s personally heard your abuse before, it’s difficult to pass this story off as conjecture. In addition, since you’re the same man who proudly admits to stalking ex-girlfriends, I don’t understand why anyone is surprised by these allegations.

All in all, it’s time for you to vanish now. You don’t deserve sympathy, you don’t deserve fans and you don’t deserve a career. I’ll never be the one to deny your talent, but you’re a worthless human being, son. Any man who continuously inflicts violence on women doesn’t deserve any positivity in his life. Frankly, you’re a piece of shit, Chris Brown. Plain and simple. Please disappear. Now!

Sincerely,

A real man who doesn’t condone domestic violence