What The F*ck, Jussie?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m mad at myself, man. I’m mad that I fell for the gaffle, fam. I’m mad that it didn’t even cross my mind that an idiot could fabricate a story like this. All in all, fuck Jussie Smollett, bruh. Keeping it a buck, if he really did stage a hate crime, which it seems like he did, we need to throw his ass into the fucking abyss, people. The way I see it, an action like this is unforgivable, folks. Real talk, this type of tomfoolery could have lasting and damaging implications.

Ok, for those who haven’t been paying attention, Chicago police have poked a ton of holes in Smollett’s story, son. Now, I started to believe something was up when homie was onstage saying he was the “gay Tupac.” Fam, what part of the game is that? I mean, is this how far someone would go for “clout,” man? For God’s sake, the two alleged attackers ended up being Nigerian brothers who knew Smollett. Shit, one of them appeared as an extra on Empire and another one is apparently Smollett’s trainer. Frankly, I don’t know who is who, bruh.

To make matters worse, the brothers have seemingly admitted that Smollett paid them to “attack” him. According to new reports, when the cops raided the brothers’ crib, they found ropes, masks and bleach. Like, I don’t even know what to say here, son. In all honesty, Smollett’s alleged actions are EXTREMELY dangerous, man. Hell, we legitimately live in a country where Black and gay people are harmed for being Black, gay or both. So, why the FUCK would Smollett play games with a narrative like this? All I know is, he’s made it INCREDIBLY difficult for real victims to get justice, fam. Listen, because of his seemingly false “this is MAGA country” claims, Fox News and the right-wing are already running with this, bruh. Smollett has given them all the ammo they need to dismiss REAL hatred and bigotry.

In the end, I’ll say it again, son. Fuck Jussie Smollett, man! Ultimately, I have to use the word “allegedly” for this entire post. However, shit ain’t looking good for him, fam. By and by, if it’s truly confirmed that he staged this whole incident, I hope he never works again, bruh. At the end of the day, fuck his music, fuck his acting and fuck any other endeavor of his, brethren. As a matter of fact, he needs to go to jail for some nonsense like this, folks. All I can say is, it takes a foul individual to be this disgusting, people. *Sigh* LC out.

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Let’s All Laugh At Tomi Lahren

Well, well, well, what do we have here, son? Tomi Lahren actually got herself suspended by Glenn Beck and TheBlaze. The crazy thing is, she got put on ice for the least likely comment. So, out of all of the stooooooooopid things this woman has said, her show got temporarily pulled for being pro-choice on abortion rights? Ain’t that about a bitch, bruh? Now, maybe I’m petty, but I got a good chuckle out of this story, son. After eons of regurgitating stale conservative ideals, Lahren got suspended for actually having a thought of her own. Welp, with all of that being said, I think today is a good day to make fun of Tomi Lahren.

So, Lahren went on The View this past Friday and shared some of her useless worldly analysis. Now, while speaking about women’s rights, she stated that she is pro-choice because of her desire for “limited government.” Meaning, she believes the government shouldn’t be allowed to tell women what to do with their bodies. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well with her conservative base, son. I mean, pro-life is one of the tenants of right-wing ideology, man.

For example, when Rick Santorum ran for president, he flatly said that rape victims shouldn’t be allowed to have abortions. In his words, the baby would be a “gift from God.” Shit, if that ain’t an extreme belief, then I don’t know what is, bruh. On the real, too many grown ass men are fiercely invested in what women do with their own bodies. All in all, Lahren picked the wrong fight with the wrong group of irrational people.

Now, before I continue, I’d like everyone to keep one thing in mind. This woman isn’t pro-choice because she cares about her fellow women. In fact, she used the Republican template of “limited government” to support her beliefs. So, in actuality, she thought she was riding with her home team and it backfired. That’s hilarious because it’s so idiotic, son. She thought she had allies and her constituents were like “NOPE!” At this point, maybe if she had more real thoughts of her own, then she wouldn’t have to rely on half-cooked doctrines to survive. All I know is, she continuously showcases the fact that she has no idea what the fuck she’s talking about, man. *Sigh* Go home, Tomi, you’re drunk.

In the end, no one feels sorry for Lahren, man. People with common sense already couldn’t stand her and now she’s at odds with her own peers. Way to go, champ! Good luck trying to get back in the right-wing’s good graces. She’s going to have to go extra hard with the racism, sexism and xenophobia, son. All I can say is, I’m not looking forward to the nonsense, bruh. LC out.

P.S. I find it amazing that Lahren can compare Black Lives Matter to the Ku Klux Klan, but gets suspended for this. America is a wonderful place, isn’t it? Siiiiiiiiiiiike!

Is Shepard Smith The Real MVP?

So, there are a few things I don’t believe I’ll ever see in life: a human being hit “The Note” from Sister Act 2, an actual album from Jay Electronica and someone from Fox News call Donald Trump out on his constant bullshit. Well, I guess I can cross one of those things off of the list, son. I mean, Shepard Smith just shocked the shit out of me yesterday. Watching him eviscerate Trump over his habitual fabrications was must-see-television, man! As expected, the Trump brigade is calling for his head as I write this. However; I’m ecstatic to finally see some GOP members grow a pair. Frankly, their party created Trump and it’s up to them to stop him.

Now, in case anyone missed it, Smith had one simple question for Trump: why does he tell SO MANY LIES? Smith brought up the fact that Trump can’t tweet or publicly speak without saying something wildly inaccurate. As an example, he referenced several statements that Trump made during his awkward ass press conference. He talked about the fact that Trump hasn’t given a good answer about what’s happening with Russia. Trump insists that his administration isn’t in cahoots with Vladimir Putin‘s, but if that was the case, then why was Michael Flynn fired?

Moving on, Smith also slammed Trump’s notion that he had the highest Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan. Fuck semantics, that simply isn’t true, man. It shouldn’t matter whether or not someone is a Trump supporter, son. Facts are facts, regardless of how anyone feels about them. There is verifiable evidence to disprove A LOT of the information Trump spews into the mainstream. Smith is doing the right thing by taking Trump to task for his nonsensical ramblings.

Keeping it a buck, I was genuinely happy to see this, man. Like, at some point, even right-wing enthusiasts have to see the writing on the wall. Asking someone to be honest is not political, son. Trump is the fucking President, for God‘s sake! We don’t give a fuck about ratings, we don’t give a fuck about baseless claims of “fake news” and we don’t give a fuck about his fragile ego. We just want that man to do his fucking job. As it stands, he’s completely incapable of behaving as an elected official should, man. It’s actually frightening to watch, bruh.

Ultimately, we need more people like Smith. The more Republicans who hold Trump accountable, the better. Since they control Congress and will eventually control the Supreme Court, they’re our biggest line of defense. Keep in mind, I just threw up a little when I wrote that. However; it just is what it is, son. In any case, for today, and today only, Shepard Smith is the real MVP. LC out.

The Most Slanderous Moments Of Barack Obama’s Presidency

So, I guess it really is over, huh? Barack Obama’s presidency is really coming to an end, huh? Donald Trump is really about to be unleashed on us, huh? Well, since I’m an expert in laughing to keep from crying, I’ve decided to talk about some of the most slanderous moments of Obama’s presidency. Over the past eight years, he’s experienced all types of shade and downright disrespect. As a matter of fact, one of the most egregious examples came from our own President-elect. With that being said, let’s go through some of the most ridiculous things that have happened to our soon-to-be former President.

First, let’s talk about the time Barack and Michelle Obama gave each other dap and the right-wing called it a “terrorist fist jab.” Like, that actually happened, son. Back in June of 2008, while the then-Senator was running his presidential campaign, there was a Fox News panel discussion about his exchange with Michelle. Like, pundits legit sat around a table and tried to decipher giving dap, man. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up, son. Now, I’ve seen and heard plenty of stupid things in my lifetime, but this might be on the Mount Rushmore, bro. Obama’s detractors really tried ANYTHING to discredit this dude, no matter how ridiculous the tactic was. Such is life, I guess.

Next, there was Donald Trump’s eight-year crusade to prove Obama wasn’t born in America. To this day, I have no idea how the “birther movement” grew legs, man. Apparently, official documentation of his birth isn’t enough for idiots to concede the fact that he was born on U.S. soil. To be honest, I’m upset with Obama for even entertaining this foolishness. When he released his birth certificate, I personally felt like he was giving into the bullshit. Bruh, who cares what an orange-faced, fake-haired internet troll has to say? Just handle presidential business and let Trump continue to swim in his sea of nonsense. Then again, let me not say that, because Trump’s nonsense might get us all killed, son. Let us pray.

Finally, how about the persistent rumor that Obama is Muslim? Now, there’s multiple ways to look at this, son. At this point, I think it’s understood that these rumors were circulated to damage his reputation. As we all know, America has made Islam synonymous with terrorism. So, maybe, if Obama is presented as a Muslim, his haters could get him out of office, right?

Well, there’s a couple of ways to look at this. First off, Islam and Islamic radicalism are two different things. I really don’t understand why people don’t understand that. If we’re keeping it real here, in the Middle East, other Muslims are the biggest victims of Islamic radicalism. The right-wing doesn’t talk about that because it doesn’t fit their narrative. Since 9/11, there have been more terrorist attacks in America by White men than Al Qaeda and ISIS combined. However; naysayers remain mum on that issue. Second, our own First Amendment endorses freedom of religion. This constant disrespect to Islam is an affront to the First Amendment, man. In case people forgot, the American forefathers escaped religious persecution in Europe. It’s funny how that’s all folks want to do here now. It makes absolutely no sense, son. No sense at all.

Ultimately, I could’ve talked about a MOUNTAIN of tomfoolery that occurred during Obama’s presidency. Those three examples were just the first three that popped into my head, man. It goes without saying, Obama had to deal with a ton of fuckery during his eight years in the Oval Office. Wait, now that I think about it, I might super glue him to his White House desk so Trump has nowhere to set up shop. I refuse to except a Twitter fiend as my President, son. That’s all I have to say about that. LC out.