How The F*ck Did The New England Patriots Win?!?

Man, what the hell did I watch last night? Seriously, how the FUCK did the New England Patriots pull this shit off, son? More importantly, how the FUCK did the Atlanta Falcons lose this Super Bowl?! In my 30-plus years on this planet, I’ve NEVER seen a crazier comeback. All in all, as much as it pains me to say this, Tom Brady is without question the greatest quarterback of all time. In addition, Bill Belichick is absolutely the greatest coach of all time. Now, before I continue vomiting, allow me to try and reconcile what I just witnessed yesterday.

First, let me start with the Falcons. As far as I’m concerned, this team is no longer allowed to have fans. Not even my greatest enemy deserves to be a fan of a team that can blow a 28-3 lead. 28-3? 28 TO FUCKING 3?!? How on God‘s green Earth could this squad fuck up a 98.9% chance of winning?! Before this game, the largest deficit a team ever overcame was 10 points. THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE UP BY 25 POINTS, MAN!! After taking that 28-3 lead, these clowncakes never scored again and lost 34-28. I mean, these losers couldn’t even get a field goal? A fucking safety? Anything?! Man, that’s literally the most insane comeback I’ve ever watched, son. Real talk, to all of my friends and family in Atlanta, the Falcons don’t deserve any fandom from this point forward. They just disrespected the city in the WORST way.

Now, let’s talk about the Patriots. I mean, what can I say here, son? Despite being a diehard New York Giants fan, I have to call a spade a spade, man. Brady and Belichick are the greatest duo in NFL history. Brady now have five rings and Belichick has seven, when including the two rings he won as the Giants’ defensive coordinator. At this point, they have damn near every record imaginable. There’s literally no disputing their greatness, son. Look, I don’t use the term “hater” lightly, but if anyone still has negative things to say about the Patriots, they’re just haters. These dudes have done it all, man. There’s no one else in their league or even close to it.

In the end, there really isn’t much else to say here. The only downside to this victory is the fact that deplorables like Donald Trump and Richard Spencer support the Patriots. It’s literally never cool when White supremacists are onboard the train. In any case, as I’ve previously stated, Tom Brady is indeed the greatest quarterback of all time. However; keep one thing in mind, son. The Patriots’ historic greatness makes Eli Manning and my Giants even more mythical, son. We’re the only team to ever beat him and Belichick. And we did it twice, bitch! I’m perfectly content with my team being the two glorious stains on their record, man. Good day.

P.S. How sick was Roger Goodell yesterday? After the whole Deflategate fiasco, he still had to hand the Vince Lombardi Trophy over to Robert Kraft and company. On the real, I’m no fan of the Patriots, but I’m even less of a fan of Goodell. With that being said, it was great watching him being forced to swallow his shallow pride. LC out.

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Nazis Love Donald Trump

Ok, let’s cut through the bullshit and get straight to the point, son. There is no such thing as an alt-right movement, man. The bigots who embrace that term, and openly support Donald Trump, are nothing more than White Nationalists. Taking it a step further, these bigots are nothing more than Nazis. Now, for anyone who thinks I’m being facetious, let’s review the fuckery that recently occurred in Washington, D.C. when Richard Spencer hosted his alt-right conference.

Now, this past Saturday, Spencer decided to host a play date with him and all of his racists friends. So, how do I know they’re racist? Well, Spencer stated that his dream is “a new society, an ethno-state that would be a gathering point for all Europeans.” In addition, he actively wants what he calls “peaceful ethnic cleansing.” Ethnic cleansing, bro? He really said that shit out loud, man? These statements were made along with a variety of anti-Semitic remarks, and at one point, Spencer called the media “Lügenpresse,” which comes directly from the Adolf Hitler playbook.

Stepping back for a second, even if there are Americans who are massive bigots, what part of the game is being a Nazi-sympathizer? Our country literally went to war to ensure that Hitler and his agenda were defeated. Why the fuck are reporters and pundits getting cute about what’s happening here? Individuals who are vocally in Trump’s corner are embracing Aryan fundamentals and no one’s calling them out on their bullshit. Hell, David Duke even felt compelled to run for office because he was so inspired by Trump’s platform.

Getting back to Spencer’s conference, the attendees thought it was a good idea to greet each other with the Hitler salute. They even thought it was a good idea to shout “hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory” while doing it. Bruh, I couldn’t even make this shit up if I wanted to. This fuckery is happening in real life, man! This is the America that Donald Trump has empowered. Like it or not, when Trump supporters put that orange-faced bastard into office, they opened the door for this type of hatred. No, one doesn’t come without the other and THIS is the country we really live in. Miss me with all of the excuses, son. A vote for Trump was a vote for White Nationalism. Point, blank, period!

In the end, what the hell do I know, son? I can write until my fingers fall off, but clearly the Trump administration doesn’t follow logic. The Donald would much rather take shots at the Hamilton cast than call out his Nazi supporters. Shit, he had to be directly asked about the situation by Julie Davis to even get a fucking response, man! Once again, I don’t give a fuck if Trump supporters don’t think they’re all racist. Ultimately, their leader is. Steve Bannon is. Jeff Sessions is. As far as I’m concerned, these clowns can all hail these nuts, bitch! Come and get me! Good day.

Donald Trump’s Administration Is Already Scaring The F*ck Outta Me!

Ever since Donald Trump‘s ascent to the presidency, thanks to the stupid ass Electoral College, I’ve been hearing newly unearthed supporters complain about being labeled racists. In their eyes, they’re being unfairly portrayed as bigots and simply see Trump as a necessary “change” to the political landscape. In addition, I keep reading these dissertations about the disaffected White working-class and how he’s giving them hope. However; when I start to look at the individuals Trump is grooming for his cabinet, fuck ALL of that “woe is me” bullshit, son! Trump is everything people with morals thought he was: a racist, sexist and xenophobic piece of shit! If anyone still doesn’t understand that based on his appointment of Steve Bannon as Chief Strategist, then they’re part of the fucking problem, son!

Now, where do I even start with this Bannon clown, man? So, for the last five years, Bannon has presided over Breitbart News. This particular website has been the Holy Grail for the alt-right political movement. If anyone hates themselves, just take a quick gander at that shit-hole of a site. The deplorable turds who assist Bannon in spreading his hate speech have written such dubious articles as “Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive and Crazy” and “Gabby Giffords: The Gun Control Movement’s Human Shield.” In addition, they have an entire section dedicated to perpetuating the myth of Black-on-Black crime and proclaimed the “glorious heritage” of the Confederate Flag two weeks after Dylann Roof killed nine churchgoers in South Carolina.

In regards to Bannon himself, he’s infamous for such dastardly acts as keeping his kids out of a particular school to avoid having them around Jews and choking his ex-wife back in 1996. To make matters worse, since his appointment, White supremacists like David Duke and Richard Spencer have expressed joy at Bannon’s newfound position. To them, this solidifies Trump’s dedication to the cause. So, to cover it all, Bannon hates minorities, women, gays, Jews and anyone else who doesn’t look like him. That man is now Trump’s Chief Strategist. I want everyone to let that sink in, for a moment.

In the end, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the fuck, man? What the entire fuck, man?! Miss me with all of the explanations for why Trump’s campaign wasn’t built on bigotry. From now on, if anybody tries to make that argument to me, I’ll just mention Steve Bannon’s name. He completely shuts down all of those half-ass theories, man. Good day. Wait, no, it’s not a fucking good day, son! I’m out!