A Letter To Trump: The Hate ‘On Many Sides’

Dear Donald Trump,

You’ve really dropped the ball on this one, man. I mean, you drop the ball on most things, but you’ve really missed an opportunity here. For someone who claims to be “tough,” your inability to condemn White Supremacists is cowardly at best. Nazi/Ku Klux Klan enthusiasts took over Charlottesville, Virginia and you couldn’t even mention them by name. Instead, you spoke of imaginary hate “on many sides.” All I want to know is, when will you stop cozing up to the bigots who put you in office?

Now, to be clear, racists helped put you in office. Don’t believe me? Just ask David Duke. The former Imperial Wizard of the KKK said as much when he attacked you on Twitter. He was upset that you spoke against the Unite the Right rally, claiming that they’re just fulfilling your vision. Wait, let me say that again, son. The former leader of the KKK believes that the alt-right is fulfilling YOUR vision. At this point, I don’t give a fuck if you believe that you’re racist or not. All you need to know is, racists believe in YOUR message. Frankly, it empowers them to take their bigotry to the streets.

With all of that being said, let’s examine how you’ve handled this situation. After counter-protesters took to the streets to confront your swastika-wearing/Confederate flag-waving supporters, James Alex Fields decided to spring into action. To further the White Nationalist agenda, Fields took his car and plowed into a group of counter-protesters. In the process, he injured 19 people and killed Heather Heyer. Now, after ALL of that, you STILL couldn’t bring yourself to condemn White Supremacists. My God, you’re a fucking disgusting human being, man!

On the real, I’m glad that even Republicans are calling you out on your bullshit. Look, this isn’t the time to pussyfoot on this issue, man. Bruh, it’s so easy for you to call EVERYTHING Radical Islamic Terrorism, but you can’t say a word about domestic terrorism. The fact of the matter is, homegrown terrorists are WAY more dangerous to American citizens than ISIS and al-Qaeda combined! But, here you are, still pandering to your racist ass base instead of comforting the country. All in all, it seems as if bipartisanship knows no bounds, son.

In the end, fuck you, bruh! You’re one of the worst things that’s ever happened to this country, and that’s saying a lot. Keeping it a buck, the current climate of the United States rests squarely on your shoulders. Shit, your rhetoric gave them the platform to rise up. By and by, there aren’t “many sides” here. A White Supremacist murdered a woman and you’re too much of a bitch to admit it. Ultimately, this is exactly what you’re not my President.

Sincerely,

A man who legitimately hates everything about you

Who’s Ready For Armageddon?

Look, let me get straight to the point, son. Something needs to be done about North Korea, man. All I know is, Kim Jong-un is out here wilin’, fam! On the real, this man seems hell bent on challenging America‘s nuclear capabilities. At this point, I don’t know what to make of this situation, bruh. I don’t know what Jong-un is going to try and I DAMN SURE don’t trust Donald Trump to make the right decision. All in all, if cooler heads don’t prevail, we may legitimately have a war on our hands, people.

Now, where should I start, son? Ok, so, North Korea is upping the ante with their missile tests, man. Apparently, they now have missiles powerful enough to reach American soil. From what I’ve read, there are only two factors preventing Jong-un from having a functioning nuclear weapon: a warhead strong enough to survive the heat of orbit and a reliable guidance system. Originally, American scientists thought North Korea could have a nuke by 2020. Now, they believe that they can achieve this feat by 2018. By and by, shit just got real, fam!

With all of that being said, what does Trump do? Threaten North Korea with “fire and fury.” According to President Orange, his plan is to hit Jong-un with power the likes of which “the world has never seen.” Keep in mind, the United States is the only nation to ever actually use a nuke. So, is Trump openly threatening another country with nuclear war? Bruh, someone come get this man! That can’t possibly be the first option, son. Listen, I’m all about a preemptive strike, but we can’t be out here just trading nukes with muhfuckas, man! Also, based on Jong-un’s “turn the US mainland into the theater of a nuclear war” response, this is exactly what he wants, fam!

In the end, all I want to know is, are there any bunkers in New York? I mean, at the rate this shit is headed, I need to find some shelter for my family, son. In addition, I should probably start stocking up on canned goods, man. Real talk, all of my Hispanic bredren better have that Goya on deck, bruh! Ultimately, it’s going to be a long armageddon, folks. LC out.

The Roast Of Anthony Scaramucci

10 days. 240 hours. 14,400 minutes. 864,000 seconds. That’s how long Anthony Scaramucci lasted as Donald Trump‘s communications director, son. After threatening to fire everyone in Trump’s administration, Scaramucci couldn’t even save his own job, man. Side note, I want the media to stop trying to call him “The Mooch.” Look, assholes like this guy don’t deserve a nickname, fam. In any case, I’d like to take this time to give Scaramucci a proper send-off. I mean, don’t all clowns love a good show?

So, where should I begin, bruh? Ok, let’s talk about the fact that as soon as he entered the White House, Scaramucci immediately sealed his own fate. Whether it was Sean Spicer‘s resignation or Scaramucci’s tirade against Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon, the now-jobless communications director made enemies with everyone. Fam, what part of the game is publicly cursing out co-workers? I swear, this dude didn’t understand the basic fundamentals of working with a team. Real talk, didn’t we start to learn those principles in kindergarten? Clearly, Scaramucci missed these lessons, son.

Moving on, who knows how John Kelly will fare as Trump’s Chief of Staff. All I know is, firing Scaramucci was a good first move. Even though I can’t stand Trump, the shitshow that is his administration needs to chill, man. Like, can he even surround himself with people who can pretend like they know what they’re doing? Shit, Scaramucci was clearly a basket case and had no business in the West Wing. On the real, Kelly should take this stance with everyone on Trump’s squad. So far, all of these jesters have proven themselves to be incompetent, man.

In the end, Anthony Scaramucci, we hardly knew ye. However; good riddance, fool. Maybe now he’ll stop missing the birth of his children. Maybe now he’ll figure out why a nine month pregnant woman would file for divorce. Man, with his personal life in such shambles, where did he find the time to ruin Trump’s inner circle? Well, I guess Scaramucci was good at one thing: destruction. Anyway, no one will miss him, bruh. LC out.

Transgender People Can’t Serve America

Man, can someone tell me what world I’m living in? Like, I’ve always believed that I live on Earth, but this has to be the Twilight Zone, son. Fam, what the FUCK is happening to this country?! Is Donald Trump serious, people? Is the GOP serious, bruh? What part of the game is telling transgender people that they can’t fight for the nation? On the real, the levels of hate in this administration make my skin crawl, man.

Now, for those who missed it, Trump just tweeted some WILD shit yesterday. Apparently, after speaking with his “generals,” Trump declared that transgender people will no longer be accepted or allowed to serve in the military. According to his logic, our armed services need to focus on “overwhelming victory” and not accommodating their needs. All jokes aside, that’s got to be some of the most hateful rhetoric to ever come from a sitting United States President, fam. This dude just blindly disrespected an ENTIRE group of Americans, son!

All in all, I have a BUNCH of questions, man. First, does he not think that there aren’t already transgender people in our military? Shit, according to statistics, there are roughly 10,000 individuals who identify as transgender on either active or reserve duty. So, did their “medical costs” overwhelm the government before? Did they act as a distraction before? Fuck no, son! This move is nothing more than a pure demonstration of hate. Why is this type of bullshit continually coming from our highest office, fam?

Ok, before I move on, can I backtrack for a second? Now, my memory may be trash, but I’m pretty sure that Newt Gingrich said something similar about women twenty-some-odd years ago. Back then, he claimed that women couldn’t serve because they lack “upper body strength” and would “get infections.” So, basically, the GOP has a looooooong history of hating on anyone who isn’t a straight White man. Keeping it a buck, it just seems to be in their nature, son.

In the end, anytime I think the bar can’t get lower, it does, fam. Real talk, I was blown away by this turn of events, bruh. We’re literally watching an administration that’s built on the oppression of damn near EVERY disenfranchised group. At this point, there’s no justification for being a Trump supporter. I don’t give a fuck how someone tries to spin this, son. If anyone supports Trump, then they support hate. Plain and simple. With that being said, fuck ALL of his proponents, man! Every. Last. One. Of. Them! LC out.

Thanks A Lot, John McCain

Man, the GOP never ceases to amaze me, son. I mean, they are just hell bent on getting rid of a healthcare system that’s actually helping people. On the real, who needs a replacement plan, right? Let’s just repeal the current law with NO hope of finding a substitute. Listen, that’s basically what the Republicans are doing right now, fam. Like, they can’t get a bill of their own passed, but still “need” to destroy the Affordable Care Act. All I know is, John McCain is no better than the rest of his constituents. All in all, thanks for nothing, McCain.

So, before I continue, let me be clear about something. I have nothing but respect for McCain’s service to this country. Nothing can take away from the fact that he’s a war hero. In addition, before he made the MONUMENTAL ERROR of choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, I wasn’t entirely mad at his previous presidential bid. With that being said, I can’t condone his fuck shit in regards to healthcare. For a man who’s supposed to be a “maverick,” he’s essentially choosing his party over the American people.

Now, for those who are unaware, the Senate had an emergency healthcare vote yesterday. The wild thing is, they weren’t voting on a replacement plan. Why? Because they don’t fucking have one, man! Instead, they just voted to begin debate on repealing ACA. Meaning, these clowns are determined to get rid of Barack Obama‘s plan, despite the fact that they have nothing to offer. Ultimately, the vote passed 51-50, with Mike Pence serving as the tiebreaker.

To make matters worse, after his ridiculous vote, McCain still stated he wouldn’t vote for the proposed GOP bill. So, why the FUCK did he make this vote, bruh?! That doesn’t make any sense, fam! He admitted that they have no plan and he admitted that ACA’s popularity is rising while Republicans fumble the ball. By and by, this administration would rather burn down the establishment than admit that no one wants what they’re selling. Fam, I truly don’t understand how ANY of these politicians sleep at night.

In the end, a cancer diagnosis won’t stop me from calling McCain out on his shit, man. I wish him the best in regards to his health, but it’s ironic that he clearly doesn’t wish the same for us. All in all, I wonder if McCain even knows who he’s fighting for anymore. Real talk, it ain’t the American people, son. Not in any shape, form or fashion. LC out.

Wait… People Really Want The Rock To Run For President?!

Fam, what in tarnation is going on around here? Like, is this the world that Donald Trump has created? Do people really think that absolutely ANYONE can be President now? Bruh, this shit needs to stop ASAP! No, The Rock does not need to run for government, son. Listen, the man is an actor and a wrestler. He has NO qualifications for the highest office in the world, man. All in all, politics needs to be left to the politicians. The clown shows need to cease, fam.

So, how did we get here? Well, we can thank Kenton Tilford from West Virginia. Now, this dude actually started a campaign committee and filed to draft Dwayne Johnson for President. Like, I can’t make this shit up, son. Listen, the committee, named “Run the Rock 2020,” is actually a real thing, man. Apparently, Tilford believes that Johnson can provide “real leadership” and even created the hashtag #MakeAmericaRockAgain.

Look, I won’t lie, son. This bullshit has made me despise Trump even more, man. Shit, this is the climate he’s created. He’s founded a world where political experience doesn’t matter anymore. Hell, every time he makes some ridiculous move, his defenders just chalk it up to him being a “political novice.” Well, that means he doesn’t deserve the fucking job, man! Bruh, I can’t just roll up into Toyota and say “I’m going to make the next car.” Nah, I don’t know shit about building vehicles, fam! Listen, I’d probably get physically thrown out of the building, people.

To be fair, I’m a huge fan of The Rock. While his movies can be hit or miss, he’s a muhfucking legend in the squared circle, son. On the real, I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve called someone a “jabroni,” man. Keeping it a buck, no one has lived a full life until they ask someone a  question, wait for them to answer and then yell “it doesn’t matter!” With that being said, Johnson doesn’t need to be our damn President, fam. At this point, our country is already in shambles because we gave a television star the nuclear codes. Let’s not continue our buffoonery, bruh.

In the end, the novelty has worn off, fam. On the real, I just want politicians to hold political offices. Now, while I may hate a lot of them, at least I can say that they know how government works. By and by, I’m just tired of seeing our elected officials look like sideshow attractions. That is all. LC out.

Get Donald Trump Jr. The F*ck Outta Here!

Bruh, what the fuck is going on around here, man? Now, if anyone has been paying attention, I’ve stayed away from politics for the last few weeks. I mean, so much tomfoolery has transpired, frankly, I can’t keep up, son. With that being said, Donald Trump Jr. is out here wilin’, fam. Like, this dude actually admitted to trying to conspire with Russia. All I want to know is, why hasn’t this entire ship sunk yet?

So, the fuckery began in June of 2016. While Donald Trump was still battling Hillary Clinton for the presidency, Trump Jr. received a random email. In it, Rob Goldstone, a Russian business associate of Trump, claimed to be in touch with a senior Russian government official. Apparently, this official claimed to have damaging information about Clinton. From there, Goldstone arranged a meeting with Trump Jr., Paul ManafortJared Kushner and a Russian lawyer.

Now, keep in mind, at this time, Paul Manafort was Trump’s campaign manager. In addition, Kushner is Ivanka Trump‘s husband and currently serves as a senior advisor to Trump. Meaning, three people in Trump’s inner circle scheduled a meeting with a foreign entity in an effort to discredit Clinton. Good fucking Lord, man! How is ANYONE cool with this?! After allllllllll of their collusion denials, we now have definitive proof that all of their claims are pure bullshit, man. Trump’s administration LITERALLY talked to Russian dignitaries to try and alter the course of an American presidential election.

All in all, it doesn’t matter that Natalia Veselnitskaya didn’t provide any useful information. All that matters is the fact that these clowns were willing to go to these lengths to help Trump’s campaign. On the real, it makes all of their denials even more infuriating, son. Fam, they didn’t even do a good job of covering their tracks. Son, all of their shit is starting to hit the fan, man. Ultimately, enough is fucking enough, bruh.

In the end, I can’t take any more of this shit, people. Keeping it a buck, it bothers me to no end that more Republicans won’t stand up against this shit. I mean, what would Trump and company have to do for them to finally wake up? Would the administration have to drop a nuke before the GOP realizes the gravity of the situation? The sad part is, even if that occurred, they’d probably still find a way to justify it, man. *Sigh* I’m done. LC out.