Black Republicans Aren’t The Issue, Chance The Rapper

So, I’m not going to talk about Kanye West today, son. Frankly, my brain can’t even begin to process the fuckery he’s saying right now. On the real, I don’t know what’s worse, man: the idea that he really believes all of the bullshit he’s tweeting or the idea that he’s trolling us as an album rollout. In any case, I want to address Chance The Rapper and people who think like him. Look, no one said that Black people can’t be Republicans, fam. Real talk, people don’t hate Donald Trump because he’s Republican, bruh. We hate him because of his consistent disrespect and disregard of the disenfranchised.

Now, for those who missed it, Chance just tried to save Kanye. Somehow, he thought that tweeting “Black people don’t have to be Democrats” was some profound shit, son. However, nobody said that, Chance! That ain’t the fucking issue, man! On top of that, CyHi the Prynce took it upon himself to remind us that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican. Ok, so was James Brown and Ray Charles, fam. Once again, that isn’t the fucking problem, fam! Keeping it a buck, Trump’s lunacy should be a bipartisan issue. Listen, people on the Right AND the Left should be bothered by what Trump represents.

Listen, when it comes to Trump, I’ve watched that man commit an unbelievable amount of egregious offenses. This is the same man who called all Hispanic people drug dealers, murderers and rapists on the campaign trail. This is the same man who enacted a travel ban to block Muslims from coming to a “religiously free” country. This is the same man who’s currently trying to block transgender people from serving in our military. This is the same man who’s trying to give guns to our underpaid teaching staff. This is the same man who’s surrounded himself with a MULTITUDE of people who are now under investigation. Need I say more?! Look, this isn’t a Democrat or Republican issue, bruh. This is an issue of a man who’s CLEARLY unfit to lead and we’re just letting him cook, son.

In the end, folks like Chance can miss me with this Black Republican shit, man. In addition, people like Kanye can miss me with the “I don’t agree with everything he says” rhetoric. Ultimately, that doesn’t make up for all of Trump’s heinous policies, fam. By and by, just because people may only agree with SOME of Trump’s ideas doesn’t mean that the rest of them go away. At the end of the day, it’s a package deal, bruh. For example, we can’t pay attention to his platform on jobs and ignore his platform on women’s rights, son. All I know is, folks like Chance need to fully develop their political and social stances before they open their mouths. That is all. LC out.

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Quincy Jones Doesn’t Give A F*ck

Listen, old people don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, son. I swear, once people make it past “retirement age,” they do and say whatever the hell they want, man. All I know is, Quincy Jones DEFINITELY fits into that category, fam. Real talk, the legendary producer recently did interviews with GQ AND with Vulture. Needless to say, he let ALL of the hot takes go, bruh! All in all, I can see people having issues with some of his statements. However; his sit-downs with these well-known publications were HIGHLY entertaining, folks!

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, son. On the real, I simply want to get straight to the fuckery, man. Now, in regards to the tomfoolery, I want to do something a little different, fam. Keeping it a buck, I want to go through some of Jones’s most ear-catching stories in bullet format. With that being said, here’s some of the shit that made me go “oh shit”:

1. Jones claims to have 22 girlfriends all around the world. In addition, despite being 84 years old, his women apparently range between 28 and 42. Now, even funnier, those ages are part of an agreement between him and his daughters. Look, this is a wild motherfucker, son!

2. When he was down with Lionel Hampton‘s band, they allegedly used to buy dope from Detroit Red. Now, this is notable because the man formerly known as Detroit Red eventually became Malcolm X. Sheesh, that’s some wild shit, man!

3. Jones claims that Ray Charles convinced him to try heroin for a few months. In addition, Charles’s addiction was apparently so bad, he used to have a guy shoot dope directly into his nuts. Look, if that story ain’t true, then Jones has the CRAZIEST imagination, fam!

4. Apparently, after the infamous James Brown concert where Prince embarrassed himself in front of Michael Jackson, Prince tried to run over MJ with his limousine. Bruh, that’s fucking HILARIOUS! I swear, Prince was always the king of petty. This is part of the reason why I’m still a huge fan of his.

5. Jones asserts that MJ’s monkey, Bubbles, hit his daughter Rashida. Now, hurting a child is never funny, but come on, son! Only MJ would get into some shit where his pet monkey hit a kid. Good Lord, Mike was a cotdamn legend but a weird ass dude, man!

6. Jones maintains that Taylor Swift is a bad songwriter, that Elvis Presley couldn’t sing and that The Beatles were terrible musicians. Listen, I can see A LOT of people being upset by these claims, but what the fuck can they say to Quincy Jones, fam? I mean, he’s a legend among legends, bruh. Just deal with it.

7. Jones said that Marilyn Monroe‘s breasts looked like pears. On the real, I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I laughed REALLY hard when I read that, son.

8. About twelve years ago, Jones allegedly dated Ivanka Trump. Now, in his own words, she had great legs, so OF COURSE he had to do it, man! Real talk, this man has been a dog, by his own admission, for DECADES!

9. Last but not least, Jones claims that Marlon Brando smashed James Baldwin, Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. Now, I’m not surprised by Baldwin. Hell, I’m not even surprised by Pryor. Look, Pryor has made jokes about his sexuality and his widow even confirmed the story. However; Gaye through me for a loop, fam. All in all, this tale doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. But, it’s bugged out how casually Jones said it, bruh. Shit, it’s almost as if he looked at the interviewer crazy for not knowing this information. At the end of the day, Jones has seen EVERYTHING, people!

In the end, long live Quincy Jones, son! Ultimately, that’s a wild ass dude, man! All I can say is, I can read/listen/watch his interviews all day, fam. By and by, shout-out to GQ and Vulture for getting him to let off these shots. That is all. LC out.