The Rashida Jones Hate Is Stooopid

So, before I begin, let me say that this post isn’t a review of Kenya BarrisBlackAF. I mean, even though the show gave me some chuckles, I can see how some people may be resistant to it. In any case, I’m actually here to flambé the folks on social media who are too “woke” for their own good. Listen, before the dumb get dumber, please understand that Rashida Jones is a mixed race woman playing a mixed race woman.

Ok, for those who missed it, there’s a fake “issue” permeating its way through the social media accounts of a few individuals. Now, for some reason, there is a minority faction upset about the fact that Jones is one of the faces for Barris’ show. Apparently, her role on BlackAF is somehow holding Black people back in Hollywood. Never mind the fact that her dad is Quincy Jones and she’s actually HALF BLACK!

*Sigh* I swear, dummies just always want to be outraged by something. Look, there is absolutely nothing nefarious about a mixed race woman playing a mixed race woman. Like, who the fuck else was supposed to play that type of role? A White woman wearing blackface? A Black woman pretending to be mixed? The hilarious thing is, I’d bet money that a lot of the people who are trying to protect the “culture” also jam out to her father’s music. Shit, he’s provided the soundtrack to our lives for over 60 years.

In the end, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: shutting the fuck up is free. Ultimately, Black people have real issues to deal with in this world. Frankly, Rashida Jones playing a mixed race woman is not one of them, son. By and by, Black folks are not a monolith. At the end of the day, being Black can mean an infinite amount of things. The way I see it, Jones is actually being her authentic self by acknowledging that she’s biracial. So, if anyone is going to critique the show, do so based on the content. Not on some archaic idea of what’s Black. That is all. LC out.

What Are Dre & Bow Fighting About On ‘Black-ish’?

So, as the title infers, I watch Black-ish, son. Now, I may not be as caught up as my wife, but I get my chuckles here and there, man. Anyway, over the past few episodes, shit has gotten real, fam. Basically, Dre and Bow are on the verge of a divorce, bruh. All I know is, as I’ve watched the last few episodes, I keep asking myself the same question: what the fuck are they fighting about? In my eyes, their relationship is failing for the same reason a lot of relationships fail: who the fuck knows?

Ok, allow me to keep it a buck for a second, son. Now, I’ve been in a relationship for almost ten years. In addition, I’ve been married for over a year. In any case, at times, my wife does shit that annoys me. For example, she’s always mooching off of my food without permission. Needless to say, I’m SERIOUS about my grub, folks. Side note, hey, babe, don’t hit me. This is all entertainment. Ok, love you, bye. Moving on, she hates it when I walk through the house with shoes on. Essentially, there will always be little things that annoy us about our significant others. By and by, the goal is to never let those small disagreements get in the way of love.

Now, Dre and Bow seem to have passed that point, man. Look, after twenty years of marriage, every problem is exacerbated. Real talk, it appears that every slight issue they have with each other has avalanched into something that’s bigger than it needs to be. All I can say is, it’s amazing how many real-life unions falter for the same reasons, fam. Ok, yes, a number of people break up over money issues and infidelity. However, a lot of people also break up over bullshit, bruh. I mean, that’s why “irreconcilable differences” are grounds for a divorce. Shit, folks reach a point where they don’t even know what they’re beefing about and just call it quits.

In the end, I think this fictional story is a perfect example of how NOT to conduct a relationship. Ultimately, before blowing up a life together, at least figure out what the real fucking problem is, son. By and by, I’m no relationship expert, but I’ll be damned if I don’t have an answer for the “how did we get here” question. At the end of the day, I have NO intention of getting a divorce, man. Hell, my life is great. But, God forbid if it ever happened, at least I’d like to have a clear picture of why, fam. That is all. LC out.

Quincy Jones Doesn’t Give A F*ck

Listen, old people don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, son. I swear, once people make it past “retirement age,” they do and say whatever the hell they want, man. All I know is, Quincy Jones DEFINITELY fits into that category, fam. Real talk, the legendary producer recently did interviews with GQ AND with Vulture. Needless to say, he let ALL of the hot takes go, bruh! All in all, I can see people having issues with some of his statements. However; his sit-downs with these well-known publications were HIGHLY entertaining, folks!

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, son. On the real, I simply want to get straight to the fuckery, man. Now, in regards to the tomfoolery, I want to do something a little different, fam. Keeping it a buck, I want to go through some of Jones’s most ear-catching stories in bullet format. With that being said, here’s some of the shit that made me go “oh shit”:

1. Jones claims to have 22 girlfriends all around the world. In addition, despite being 84 years old, his women apparently range between 28 and 42. Now, even funnier, those ages are part of an agreement between him and his daughters. Look, this is a wild motherfucker, son!

2. When he was down with Lionel Hampton‘s band, they allegedly used to buy dope from Detroit Red. Now, this is notable because the man formerly known as Detroit Red eventually became Malcolm X. Sheesh, that’s some wild shit, man!

3. Jones claims that Ray Charles convinced him to try heroin for a few months. In addition, Charles’s addiction was apparently so bad, he used to have a guy shoot dope directly into his nuts. Look, if that story ain’t true, then Jones has the CRAZIEST imagination, fam!

4. Apparently, after the infamous James Brown concert where Prince embarrassed himself in front of Michael Jackson, Prince tried to run over MJ with his limousine. Bruh, that’s fucking HILARIOUS! I swear, Prince was always the king of petty. This is part of the reason why I’m still a huge fan of his.

5. Jones asserts that MJ’s monkey, Bubbles, hit his daughter Rashida. Now, hurting a child is never funny, but come on, son! Only MJ would get into some shit where his pet monkey hit a kid. Good Lord, Mike was a cotdamn legend but a weird ass dude, man!

6. Jones maintains that Taylor Swift is a bad songwriter, that Elvis Presley couldn’t sing and that The Beatles were terrible musicians. Listen, I can see A LOT of people being upset by these claims, but what the fuck can they say to Quincy Jones, fam? I mean, he’s a legend among legends, bruh. Just deal with it.

7. Jones said that Marilyn Monroe‘s breasts looked like pears. On the real, I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I laughed REALLY hard when I read that, son.

8. About twelve years ago, Jones allegedly dated Ivanka Trump. Now, in his own words, she had great legs, so OF COURSE he had to do it, man! Real talk, this man has been a dog, by his own admission, for DECADES!

9. Last but not least, Jones claims that Marlon Brando smashed James Baldwin, Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. Now, I’m not surprised by Baldwin. Hell, I’m not even surprised by Pryor. Look, Pryor has made jokes about his sexuality and his widow even confirmed the story. However; Gaye through me for a loop, fam. All in all, this tale doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. But, it’s bugged out how casually Jones said it, bruh. Shit, it’s almost as if he looked at the interviewer crazy for not knowing this information. At the end of the day, Jones has seen EVERYTHING, people!

In the end, long live Quincy Jones, son! Ultimately, that’s a wild ass dude, man! All I can say is, I can read/listen/watch his interviews all day, fam. By and by, shout-out to GQ and Vulture for getting him to let off these shots. That is all. LC out.