Chill Out With The F*cking Fireworks!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I’m pretty fucking heated right now. Ok, yes, as a native New Yorker, I understand how folks get down with the fireworks in the summer. However, shit is beyond egregious this year. Like, motherfuckers have completely lost their minds with these fireworks, man. I mean, every night, fam? Every fucking night?! All I know is, everybody needs to chill the fuck out with these cotdamn explosions, bruh.

Ok, for those who are deaf, in a city near you, folks are absolutely bugging with the fireworks. Now, at first, I thought it was just an NYC thing. Shit, I’m from the Bronx, son. Frankly, the minute that June hits, I’m used to cats letting off the illegal Rockets and Roman Candles. But, this year has been different, man. Look, maybe it’s because of the quarantine and the fact that people are beyond restless. However, every single night, for hours on end, fools are outside blasting every firework in existence, fam.

Hell, just look at the numbers, bruh. In major cities all across America, fireworks complaints are up as much as 4000% compared to last year. Son, shit has gotten so bad that I seriously considered going outside and beating people with my belt buckle. All I can say is, I have no idea why people chose this particular summer to go totally haywire. Now, like I’ve said before, maybe this is the fallout from the coronavirus and all of the social distancing, man. But, why the fuck do these idiots think this is the solution? Fam, newfound freedom shouldn’t be infringing on anyone’s peace of mind. Yeah, I’m the old, washed and ornery guy now. Fuck it.

In the end, I need everyone to just shut the fuck up. Ultimately, NO ONE wants to hear fireworks all night long. By and by, a few of us are one step away from shoving a Roman Candle up someone’s ass and seeing if they take off like a jetpack. At the end of the day, all of this feels like a conspiracy. However, I have no clue what the endgame is. That is all. LC out.

Damn, Nas Too?

Look, let me get straight to the point, son. I’m a rapper, I’m from New York and I was born in the 1980‘s. So, it should come as no surprise that Nas was a HUGE part of my upbringing, man. I mean, he’s hands down one of my favorite rappers of all time, people. With that being said, I’m disappointed as fuck today, fam. All I know is, if Kelis‘s claims against him are true, then I can’t help but look at Nas in an ENTIRELY different light, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Kelis just dropped a bunch of bombshells in a recent interview, son. Now, for reference, Kelis and Nas have been divorced since 2010. They also have an 8-year-old son, Knight, who’s currently at the center of a bitter custody battle. In any case, while speaking with Jason Lee from Hollywood Unlocked, Kelis gave some details about her relationship with Nas. So, during the course of the talk, she spoke about Nas’s alleged penchant for getting drunk and beating her up. She even relayed a story about how the Rihanna and Chris Brown case inspired her to leave Nas while pregnant.

Apparently, at the same time that Rihanna was being victimized by Brown, Kelis had bruises all over her body. In addition, she talked about how Nas is an on-and-off father who only “shows up when there’s a photo op.” Now, all I can say is, if these stories are true, the revelations are disheartening, man. Listen, Nas has built an entire career around being Hip Hop‘s conscience. Ok, yes, I know that artists portray fictitious characters in their music all of the time. But, for someone who’s made NUMEROUS songs about uplifting women, it’s insane to think that he’s hitting them at the same time, fam. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to take “Black Girl Lost” seriously now?

In the end, I don’t even know what else to say, bruh. Honestly, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that every public figure I’ve ever looked up to is garbage, son. Ultimately, I’m well aware of the fact that people shouldn’t look to celebrities for guidance. However, it’s understandable that certain individuals may give us something to strive towards. By and by, we have to cut all of that hero worship shit out, man. At the end of the day, everybody seems to fucking suck, fam. *Sigh* That is all. LC out.

Remy Ma BODIED Nicki Minaj!

All jokes aside, I’m not even sure what to write here, son. Remy Ma just put her entire foot, ankle, shin and thigh in Nicki Minaj‘s ass, bro. While I believe these women have been throwing jabs at each other for a minute, Remy said “fuck the subliminals” and launched a nuke at Nicki. With that being said, Remy’s “ShEther” is fucking brutal, man. Nothing and no one was spared, son. So, me being me, of COURSE I have to dissect every nook and cranny of this conflict! Let’s do it!

Now, before I continue, I’d like to make a public service announcement. To all of the Nicki Minaj fans out there: money and success don’t mean shit right now. This is Rap music and it’s about lyrics. It’s about bars, son. Tour revenue and record sales don’t have shit to do with being a great rapper. If it did, MC Hammer would be the G.O.A.T. Hammer’s first three albums alone sold 15 million copies. Shit, Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em sold 10 million of those copies by itself. I mean, who wasn’t singing “U Can’t Touch This,” man? In any case, a rapper’s lyrical supremacy can’t be judged by how many records they sell. It’s wholly irrelevant. Therefore, if that’s the argument for Nicki, then she already lost this battle.

Moving on, the timeline of the conflict between Remy and Nicki is interesting. Since Remy got out of prison, everyone assumed her post-incarceration bars were going at Nicki. Side note, did y’all peep the “post-incarceration bars” pun? Man, I crack myself the fuck up, son. Anyway, whether it was a random freestyle or her verse on the remix to PHresher‘s “Wait A Minute,” everyone believed she was coming at Nicki’s neck. Well, I guess we can add Nicki to that faction. Despite Remy’s claims that she never uttered a word about her, Nicki still clapped back in her verse on Gucci Mane‘s “Make Love.”

While flowing on Gucci’s song, Nicki essentially reiterated all of the shit I said didn’t matter in the second paragraph. In her eyes, in order to be the “queen of Rap,” an artist needs to sell records and have plaques. Now, listen, I’m actually a longtime Nicki fan, but I thought this verse was trash even before Remy responded. I swear, record sales always end up being an artist’s downfall. They’re always their best when they’re hungry. Then, they get some success and forget what made them great in the first place. Shit, we’re seeing this right now with Drake, but I’ll save that for another post.

So, Remy clearly heard the shots Nicki threw her way and decided to UNLEASH! Listen, “ShEther” encompasses about every brand of disrespect imaginable. She accused Nicki of fucking Drake, Gucci, Lil Wayne, Trey Songz and Ebro Darden from Hot 97. She claimed that Nicki couldn’t fuck Meek Mill for three months because her ass implants popped. She ridiculed Nicki for supporting her brother, a 37-year-old grown ass man who’s accused of raping a 12-year-old girl. I mean, it goes on and on, son. Napalm blast after napalm blast, bro. Seven minutes of pure, unadulterated pain.

At this point, Nicki HAS to respond, man! There’s no way she can take the Jay Z approach and just let that shit slide. I mean, social media has been ON FIRE all weekend, son! Platinum plaques can’t save her when her name is being dragged for filth. This is Rap music, bro. The gloves are off and it’s time to roll around in the mud. All I can say is, as harsh as “ShEther” was, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nicki threw a miscarriage punchline at Remy. Yeah, the battle has already gotten that ugly, son. Ultimately, as long as it stays on wax, I just want these two women to rap.

In the end, battling is alive and well, man! Let’s get these bars off, son! Rap is a contact sport, bro. As Nas said, the best are supposed to clash at the top. Let’s get it! LC out.

P.S. While this post was written from a completely objective perspective, I’d be remiss if I didn’t put one in the air for the Bronx. Stand the fuck up, son! That is all.

P.P.S. I’ve heard a few people say that a diss track can’t be effective if everything isn’t 100% fact. If that were truly the case, no one would ever say “Ether” was better than “Takeover.” Jay accurately broke down Nas’ entire life, son. In the end, just enjoy the show, son. Ok, bye.