Janelle Monáe’s Got Bars!

Yeeeeeeah, buddy! Janelle Monáe is back, son! She took time out from filming dope ass movies like Moonlight and Hidden Figures to bless us with that fuego, man. With that being said, I want to take this time to briefly talk about the two new joints she put out, fam. All in all, “Django Jane” and “Make Me Feel” showcase different aspects of Monáe’s artistry. Either way, LC has been JAMMIN’, bruh!

Ok, before I get to the Prince influences and Tessa Thompson goodness of the “Make Me Feel” video, let me talk about “Django Jane.” Now, all I know is, Monáe got bars, son! I mean, I knew she could rap from her “Tightrope (Wondamix)” track with Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B. However; she legit has punchlines on this new track, man! Look, as a rapper myself, I always appreciate good wordplay, fam. So, when I hear lines like “I cut ’em off like Van Gogh, now, pan right for the angle,” I get hyped, bruh! In addition, when I hear bars like “I got away with murder, no Scandal, cue the violins and the Viola‘s,” I can’t help but tip my cap, folks. At the end of the day, Monáe can rhyme for real, people!

Moving on, let’s speak about this “Make Me Feel” video. Now, I must say, I have a MASSIVE crush on Janelle Monáe. So, the rumors of her dating Tessa Thompson only suck because that eliminates my chances, son. Listen, I’m pretty sure my wife would say our marriage eliminates my chances, but she understands how hot Monáe is, man. Anyway, Thompson is prominently featured in the video and their chemistry has everybody talking. On top of that, the music is phenomenal, fam! Listen, when most artists attempt a Prince sound, they fuck it up. But, Monáe is able to take the Purple One’s template and make it her own. On the real, I’d bet money that he’s grooving to those guitar licks in Heaven, bruh.

In the end, what else can I say, son? Ultimately, Monáe is two-for-two with these new releases, man. By and by, I can’t wait for her Dirty Computer album, fam. Keeping it a buck, she’s one of the few artists that I truly believe is incapable of making wack shit. So, on that note, let’s jam to that new Dylan hot fire, bruh. That is all. LC out.


Quincy Jones Doesn’t Give A F*ck

Listen, old people don’t give a flying fuckity-fuck, son. I swear, once people make it past “retirement age,” they do and say whatever the hell they want, man. All I know is, Quincy Jones DEFINITELY fits into that category, fam. Real talk, the legendary producer recently did interviews with GQ AND with Vulture. Needless to say, he let ALL of the hot takes go, bruh! All in all, I can see people having issues with some of his statements. However; his sit-downs with these well-known publications were HIGHLY entertaining, folks!

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, son. On the real, I simply want to get straight to the fuckery, man. Now, in regards to the tomfoolery, I want to do something a little different, fam. Keeping it a buck, I want to go through some of Jones’s most ear-catching stories in bullet format. With that being said, here’s some of the shit that made me go “oh shit”:

1. Jones claims to have 22 girlfriends all around the world. In addition, despite being 84 years old, his women apparently range between 28 and 42. Now, even funnier, those ages are part of an agreement between him and his daughters. Look, this is a wild motherfucker, son!

2. When he was down with Lionel Hampton‘s band, they allegedly used to buy dope from Detroit Red. Now, this is notable because the man formerly known as Detroit Red eventually became Malcolm X. Sheesh, that’s some wild shit, man!

3. Jones claims that Ray Charles convinced him to try heroin for a few months. In addition, Charles’s addiction was apparently so bad, he used to have a guy shoot dope directly into his nuts. Look, if that story ain’t true, then Jones has the CRAZIEST imagination, fam!

4. Apparently, after the infamous James Brown concert where Prince embarrassed himself in front of Michael Jackson, Prince tried to run over MJ with his limousine. Bruh, that’s fucking HILARIOUS! I swear, Prince was always the king of petty. This is part of the reason why I’m still a huge fan of his.

5. Jones asserts that MJ’s monkey, Bubbles, hit his daughter Rashida. Now, hurting a child is never funny, but come on, son! Only MJ would get into some shit where his pet monkey hit a kid. Good Lord, Mike was a cotdamn legend but a weird ass dude, man!

6. Jones maintains that Taylor Swift is a bad songwriter, that Elvis Presley couldn’t sing and that The Beatles were terrible musicians. Listen, I can see A LOT of people being upset by these claims, but what the fuck can they say to Quincy Jones, fam? I mean, he’s a legend among legends, bruh. Just deal with it.

7. Jones said that Marilyn Monroe‘s breasts looked like pears. On the real, I don’t know why that’s so funny, but I laughed REALLY hard when I read that, son.

8. About twelve years ago, Jones allegedly dated Ivanka Trump. Now, in his own words, she had great legs, so OF COURSE he had to do it, man! Real talk, this man has been a dog, by his own admission, for DECADES!

9. Last but not least, Jones claims that Marlon Brando smashed James Baldwin, Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye. Now, I’m not surprised by Baldwin. Hell, I’m not even surprised by Pryor. Look, Pryor has made jokes about his sexuality and his widow even confirmed the story. However; Gaye through me for a loop, fam. All in all, this tale doesn’t make one bit of difference to me. But, it’s bugged out how casually Jones said it, bruh. Shit, it’s almost as if he looked at the interviewer crazy for not knowing this information. At the end of the day, Jones has seen EVERYTHING, people!

In the end, long live Quincy Jones, son! Ultimately, that’s a wild ass dude, man! All I can say is, I can read/listen/watch his interviews all day, fam. By and by, shout-out to GQ and Vulture for getting him to let off these shots. That is all. LC out.

Shut Up, Faizon Love

So, let’s play a quick game, son. It’s called Irrelevant People Do Weird Shit For 5 Seconds Of Attention. All I know is, Faizon Love currently has the high score in this game, man. Look, his unfounded criticism of Dave Chappelle just REEKS of desperation, fam. Hell, maybe I’d be bitter too if everything I did was inconsequential, bruh. All in all, Love needs to go somewhere with his pathetic hate, folks. At the end of the day, his opinion, like his career, doesn’t really matter.

Ok, for those who missed it, Love decided to jump out of the window over Dave Chappelle. Now, it seems as if Love has been on a crusade to prove that Chappelle doesn’t deserve his accolades. Why? Who the fuck knows, son. All I can say is, he’s stating his opinions as fact, man. However; he can’t back up any of the horse shit coming out of his mouth. Listen, when it comes to arts like comedy, fandom is subjective. But, discrediting another person’s rise to the top is some whole other shit, fam. With that being said, this is where Love needs to sit the fuck down, bruh.

Now, the fuckery began when Love insinuated that Chappelle was a Hollywood creation. Off top, that’s a bunch of nonsense, son. Look, when Chappelle’s Show began on Comedy Central, he barely had a budget, man. Fam, there were numerous interviews where Chappelle talked about the show’s humble beginnings and how the network didn’t necessarily believe in it at first. Real talk, it wasn’t until the success of that first season that Comedy Central put more muscle behind the program. Anyway, that brings me to my next point, bruh.

Listen, no one can deny the influence of Charlie Murphy on Chappelle’s Show. However; the idea that he alone made the show funny is pure nonsense, son. Like I previously said, there was an ENTIRE first season of the show before Murphy’s “True Hollywood Stories” segments about Rick James and Prince. On the real, Murphy brought a lot of classic material to the program, but Chappelle was killing the game beforehand, man.

Next, let’s talk about Love’s comparison of Chappelle and Kevin Hart. Now, like I said before, comedy is subjective, fam. However; the idea that Chappelle is a Hollywood invention and Hart is not is fucking LUDICROUS, bruh! Look, I’m a big fan of Hart’s stand-up specials. But, is Love trying to tell me that the guy who’s in Jumanji with The Rock isn’t being backed by Hollywood? Man, get the FUCK outta here, son! Keeping it a buck, NONE of Love’s hot takes make any sense, folks.

Look, let me explain what’s going on here, people. Now, when I think about Love’s career, the first thing that pops up is Friday. After that, I briefly remember him on The Parent ‘Hood. After that, I can’t think of anything else until the recently-released The New Edition Story. Basically, he’s been in the game for decades and has barely made a wave, son. So, it makes sense that he’s hating on all of Chappelle’s accomplishments. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle got $60 million from Netflix. It makes sense that he’s bitter that Chappelle just won a Grammy. Real talk, those who can’t do go on The Breakfast Club and hate. By and by, it’s a full-blown sucker move, man.

In the end, I hope Love does something with his momentary spotlight. Ultimately, that man doesn’t speak for me, son. He really had the nerve to claim that Chappelle never made Black people laugh. However; as a Black dude who hangs out with mostly Black people, that’s a bunch of bullshit, man. *Sigh* Maybe if Love had more shit going for him, then he wouldn’t be worrying about another man’s success. Well, let me go back to my regular life, fam. Which doesn’t include even remotely thinking about Faizon Love. That is all. LC out.

Nah, This Album Ain’t It, Justin Timberlake

So, let me begin this post by saying that I’m a Justin Timberlake fan. Now, I’m a fan despite the fact that he dissed Prince (my hero) on Timbaland‘s “Give It To Me.” In addition, I’m a fan despite the fact that he left Janet Jackson out to dry after Super Bowl XXXVIII. In any case, regardless of his occasionally egregious behavior, I’ve always jammed out to his music. With that being said, I’m disappointed with this Man of the Woods album, son. All in all, I know he wanted to go for a specific sound on this new record. All I can say is, it ain’t really work out too well, man.

Ok, look, let me explain my beef with this album, fam. Now, based on the record’s production, it’s clear that JT tried to mix genres. On a lot of the songs, he mixed Country and Blues-inspired guitar riffs with 808‘s. Anyway, in theory, this may sound like a cool experiment. In actuality, I don’t really think the textures go together, bruh. Look, in my opinion, a bunch of these songs would’ve benefited more from real bass lines. However; producers like The Neptunes and Timbaland tried to substitute those bass licks with 808’s. For me, a lot of it didn’t work, folks.

Now, with all of that being said, I’m not insinuating that this album doesn’t have bangers, son. Keeping it a buck, my assessment of this record is only based on JT’s past music. Sonically, this joint is better than a lot of the shit out there in the zeitgeist. However; based on his own discography, this album is kinda lacking, man. In any case, I do have a few favorites on here, fam. In my eyes, “Filthy,” “Higher, Higher,” “Wave,” “Montana,” “Breeze Off the Pond” and the bridge on “Supplies” are all gold, bruh. Side note, I’m only taking the bridge on “Supplies” because the lyrics to the rest of the song are silly, people. “The world could end now, baby, we’ll be living in The Walking Dead“? Cut it out, JT!

In the end, it doesn’t really matter if people agree with me or not, son. Ultimately, I expect the best from Timberlake and he didn’t quite pull it off this time. By and by, this doesn’t really diminish him as an artist, man. I mean, he does deserve some credit for trying to cultivate a new sound, fam. Now, while I don’t think it necessarily worked, it did generate a few jams. At the end of the day, I’ll take it, bruh. Besides, I’m just happy that him, Pharrell and Chad Hugo are working together again. That is all. LC out.

RIP Prince

So, let me begin this post by proclaiming that Prince is the greatest artist of all time. Yes, I am fully aware of the magnitude of that statement, son. No, this isn’t up for debate, man. In any case, I was truly devastated when he died last year. Like, devastated to the point that my wife and friends actually called to check up on me. They all knew how HUGE of a Prince fan I was and still am. With that being said, on the one year anniversary of his passing, I just want to pay homage to the G.O.A.T.

Ok, instead of rambling about how much I want to be Prince, I’ll just let his music do the talking, man. Now, anyone who was familiar with the dude knew he was notorious for taking his art off of the internet. So, it was always hard to find songs to send to people. In any case, there’s a full concert of his that’s been circulating on YouTube for the last two years. The footage is from January of 1982, meaning it’s pre-Revolution and pre-1999. Ultimately, this is young Prince in his rawest form, decimating the audience in front of him. All in all, this is the way I want to remember the man. Anyway, everyone can watch the concert below.

In the end, Rest In Peace to my favorite musician. Shit, my guitar playing is a bit suspect these days, but I’ll be sure to bust out a “chicken grease” chord in Prince’s honor. LC out.

Damn, Darkness: RIP Charlie Murphy

Damn, son. *Sigh* All I can do is shake my head, man. On the real, Rest In Peace to Charlie Murphy. Cancer has taken yet another victim, bruh. Now, contrary to what some news outlets might say, Charlie was way more than Eddie Murphy‘s older brother. In fact, he was a master storyteller, a quick-witted verbal flame thrower and a dude who was hilariously menacing. All in all, we lost a great talent and his legacy should be celebrated.

Now, maybe I’m dating myself, but my first real memory of Murphy was in the movie CB4. Yeah, I know he was in a few films before that, including a couple of Spike Lee joints, but I vividly remember him as Gusto. Look, I got endless joy out of watching him terrorize Albert (Chris Rock). His aggression was always funny and it made every scene entertaining to watch.

Moving on, as time progressed, he found himself on every visual medium imaginable. However; no one will ever forget his role on Chappelle’s Show. Listen, everything he did with Dave Chappelle on that show was gold, son. EVERYTHING, man! Whether we’re talking about “Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories” or “The Mad Real World” or the “Player Hater’s Ball,” Murphy created nothing but classic material, fam.

Ok, keeping it a buck, Chappelle may be the greatest comedian of all time. With that being said, the most memorable material from his show might actually be Murphy’s stories about Rick James and Prince. Think about that for a second, man. That’s how great Murphy was. Even legends like Chappelle and his brother Eddie knew how phenomenal Charlie was. As Eddie always said, Charlie was “his best impression.”

In the end, Murphy deserves his respect. He put in the time and the effort to be considered an icon. Now, let’s celebrate his memory by slapping a “habitual line-stepper” and then eating a plate of pancakes. RIP Charlie Murphy!

P.S. Prayers up to Murphy’s children. Due to his untimely demise from leukemia, his kids are now technically orphans. Unfortunately, Murphy’s wife, Tisha Taylor, died from cervical cancer in 2009. I swear, cancer might be the worst thing to ever plague humanity, man. That is all.

2016 Killed EVERYONE!

Man, I had no plans to write anything this week. Since I’m on vacation until the New Year, I thought I could sit back and chill. But yo! What the fuck is wrong with 2016, son?! This year has killed damn near every celebrity I grew up with, man. Seriously, the last 365 days have been completely out of control. At this point, after hearing about the recent deaths of George Michael and Carrie Fisher, I’m more than ready for the year itself to be buried. With that being said, get the fuck outta here, 2016!

On the real, I’m not even sure what to write here. The year started off poorly when David Bowie passed. That caught me completely off guard. However; Prince‘s death took the wind out of my sails. Anyone who knows me knows he’s my favorite musician of all-time and the MAIN reason why I learned to play instruments. In all honesty, I’m still not over his death, man. I still have so many questions and comments about the circumstances that led to his untimely demise. But, we don’t have enough time for all of my conspiracy theories, son.

Now, whether we’re talking about Muhammad Ali, Phife Dawg, John Saunders, Craig Sager, Sharon Jones, Maurice White, Gene Wilder or Alan Thicke, we’ve lost countless celebrities who’ve impacted us on various levels. The wildest part of all of this is the fact that I haven’t even named everyone, son. Frankly, I don’t have enough time, patience or mental capacity to list everyone who fell this year. With that being said, I’ll let the New York Daily News do their job and give the proper shine to all of our fallen comrades.

Ultimately, this may be the last post I write for the year, man. 2016 has been a fucking beast! I didn’t even mention the fact that democracy also died this year with Donald Trump‘s election. For anyone who thinks I’m being over dramatic, just look at the voting numbers. Hillary Clinton got 2.9 million more votes than Trump and still lost, son. *Sigh* I’m going back to sleep, man. Good day.