50 Cent Needs To Let His Ja Rule Beef Go

Look, let me cut straight to the chase, son. Real talk, it’s 2018 and 50 Cent needs to let his beef with Ja Rule go. I mean, at this point, 50 looks like an obsessed ex-girlfriend, man. For God‘s sake, he won this feud over a decade ago, fam! So, why can’t he just go on with his life, bruh? All I know is, there comes a time when we’re all too old to be this petty, brethren. The way I see it, 50 is already waaaay late to that party.

Ok, for those who missed it, Ja is supposed to do a show somewhere on November 9th. Apparently, there are tickets for sale on Groupon. Anyway, when 50 got word of the concert, instead of just going on with his day, he decided to fuck with Ja for the millionth time. So, he bought 200 front row tickets just so they could be empty for the show. Now, listen, if this were 15 years ago, I probably would’ve thought this was hilarious, son. But, since they’ve been beefing since the early 2000s, it’s kind of ridiculous now, man. Shit, aren’t these dudes in their fucking 40s now?

To be fair, I was a HUGE 50 Cent fan, fam. On the real, I legitimately learned how to write hooks from listening to G-Unit songs, bruh. On the other hand, despite their longstanding feud, I remained a Ja Rule fan too. Side note, cats need to stop fronting like Ja ain’t have the jams, folks. Real talk, outside of that The Last Temptation bullshit, all of Ja’s albums were tough, people. In any case, I say all that to say that I have no bias when it comes to these artists. In fact, the only point I’m making is that 50 is too damn grown to still be acting like he’s late for home room in high school.

In the end, 50 needs to be more constructive with his time, son. Hell, shouldn’t he be working on Power right now? Keeping it a buck, the writing on that show has been a little suspect over the last two seasons. Ultimately, if he focused more on that and less on Ja, the show might be as good as it was during the first two seasons. Then again, what the hell do I know, man? Frankly, 50’s going to keep doing what he’s doing, fam. At the end of the day, trolling seems to be a large part of his job description, bruh. That is all. LC out.

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A Letter To Tariq St. Patrick

Dear Tariq St. Patrick,

Fuuuuuuuuuuck yooooooou! My Lord, you are EASILY one of the worst characters to ever disrespect my television screen. Real talk, if either of my sons did HALF of the fuckity-fuck shit you’ve done, I’d banish them to the abyss and start from scratch. In any case, the wrong St. Patrick died last episode. All I can say is, Rest In PeaceReina.

Now, before I talk about your sister, let’s go through your dizzying display of assholery. The shitshow started when you found out that Ghost was cheating on Tasha. To be fair, I could understand being upset that your father wanted to break up the family. However; your disrespect levels went off the fucking charts, man! I swear, if my boys EVER talked to me the way that you talked to your parents, they wouldn’t have tongues, bruh. Some shit will NEVER be tolerated, fam!

So, now that your “perfect life” has been tarnished, what do you do? Get yourself involved with a psycho like Kanan. You’re literally the heir to an empire, but you’re out here doing petty ass home invasions. What kind of simpleton behavior is this, son? Oh, you think you’re hard now because you drink lean and rip off rich White people? See, that’s exactly why Jukebox had your dumb ass helmed up in that house. Man, you’re softer than baby shit in warm water, bruh.

With all of that being said, your clowncake actions are now the reason why your twin sister is dead. Despite the fact that you treated her poorly, she STILL tried to come to your aid. She confronted the dirty cop who was trying to murk you and ended up with a bullet meant for you. Are you happy now, you piece of post-tequila vomit? Are you satisfied with yourself?! Your sister took her last breath while you hid behind a wall. Like, it isn’t possible to be a bigger bitch than you, man. You’re truly the worst of the fucking worst, son!

Ultimately, do us all a favor and disappear. As a matter of fact, I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and only you. Word to Silky Johnson, bruh. In the end, you have NO redeeming qualities, fam. Way to be a disgrace to everyone and everything, man.

Sincerely,

A dude who wanted you to get knocked off last season