Kawhi Leonard OD’d!

So, before I begin, I’d like to apologize to Kawhi Leonard. I mean, I was hard on him for the way he left the San Antonio Spurs, son. Frankly, I thought he ditched the team in a very unprofessional way. On top of that, I undervalued him as a player. Now, while I still think he ganked the Spurs for their time, I was dead wrong about him as a player, man. All in all, he’s been killing it this season, especially in the playoffs. With all of that being said, the shot he hit last night was one for the fucking ages, fam.

Ok, for those who missed it, Leonard hit one of the craziest shots I’ve ever seen. Now, with the score tied in a Game 7 between the Toronto Raptors and Philadelphia 76ers, Leonard hit a buzzer-beating corner jumper to send the Sixers home. On the real, the shot alone was bad enough, bruh. But, the ball took like four bounces on the rim before going in. I mean, the Sixers have to be siiiiiick, son. Like, the tears in Joel Embiid‘s eyes said it all, man.

Look, I don’t know what to say about that shot, fam. Frankly, I don’t have the vocabulary to express how incredible that shit was, bruh. Real talk, I’d need George R. R. Martin to write some eloquent shit, son. In any case, everyone can just watch the basket here. All I know is, Leonard napalmed the Sixers hopes and dreams, man. On top of that, Leonard didn’t even have his greatest game. Yeah, he had 41 points, but he wasn’t as efficient as he’s been all playoffs. In any case, when the Raptors needed him, he got that shit done, brethren.

In the end, I fucking love basketball, son. Hell, my wife got pissed at me because I woke her up by yelling when that shot went in. Anyway, the next round matchup between the Raptors and the Milwaukee Bucks is going to be wild, man. All I can say is, I can’t fucking wait, fam! Viva la NBA! LC out.

P.S. Ben Simmons is trash and no one can convince me otherwise. That is all.

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Will Smith Needs To Put Hands On August Alsina

So, I have an idea for Will Smith. Now, I know he’s in the middle of his Will Smith’s Bucket List show. Anyway, I truly believe he should add “beat a dude’s ass on camera” to the docket, son. I mean, he might really need to give August Alsina that work, man. Listen, as a husband myself, I wouldn’t even care about the truth, fam. The way I see it, insinuations of infidelity are enough for someone to catch these hands, elbows, knees and feet, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Alsina may be out here wilin’, son. Now, the singer just dropped a new song/video called “Nunya.” On the track, he’s waxing poetic about a woman who isn’t giving him any action, but still asking about his sex life. Moving on, in the visuals, a text message is shown with him and a woman named Koren. Side note, this is notable because social media is alleging that Jada Pinkett Smith’s middle name is “Koren.” In any case, a GIF of Jada appears in the text thread and Alsina also sings “you’re just an actress putting on a show.”

Now, let me explain why Will needs to beat the brakes off of this dude. Look, if a guy I know smashed my wife, he needs to catch these hands. If a guy I know even makes it seem like he’s smashing my wife, he needs to catch these hands. Shit, I know that Alsina has always maintained that he’s super close to the Smith family. But, if I were Will, I’d like to know why homie feels comfortable enough to be this damn ambiguous. Nah, fam, someone needs to get put in a leg lock, man. Frankly, Alsina is way outta pocket with this track, bruh.

In the end, Will Smith knows what he needs to do, son. Ultimately, he’s the king of viral moments right now. So, why not unleash the Philly hands on Instagram, man? By and by, it’ll be the most cherished video in the history of social media, fam. At the end of the day, I’d pay any amount of money to watch Will Smith sleep August Alsina on film, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Umm, I Love Jill Scott

Disclaimer: My wife knows I love Jill Scott. Like, I looooove Jill Scott. So, don’t judge me, son. I’m going to be out here wilin’ today.

Ok, let’s just skip the formalities, man. Real talk, if anyone has ever listened to Jill Scott’s music, they’d already know she’s a freak freak, fam. With that being said, the video circulating around social media shouldn’t be a surprise, bruh. Regardless, the creep in me gives her two thumbs up, folks. I mean, come on, people! This is Grade A entertainment, brethren! All jokes aside, I didn’t need another reason to crush on Jill Scott. However, she definitely gave me one.

Now, for those who missed it, Scott is out here letting her freak flag fly. Apparently, at a (recent?) show, Scott gave the crowd a preview of her fellatio game. Like, she went through ALL of the steps on her microphone, son. She started with no hands, THEN she hit the two-hand pepper mill, THEN she gave some love to the balls and THEN she let the mic finish on her face. Side note, if anyone thinks I’m being crude, just watch the video, man. I didn’t make up any of this, fam. In any case, her simulation has opposing opinions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Look, let’s be honest here, bruh. On the real, if anybody is taken aback by Scott’s actions, then they must’ve never heard a word she’s sang, son. Hell, before I continue, I want everyone to read some of her lyrics below:

Love slipped from my lips, dripped down my chin and landed in his lap…

Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck, blended with my all day Chanel scent…

Flip side, stomach meets sheets, he plows inside as if he’s making beats…

Listen, the moral of the story is, Scott’s BEEN with the shits, man. Frankly, that’s one of the main reasons why I’ve had a crush on her for so long, fam. Shit, her musical talents are a given, bruh. Plainly put, she has one of the best singing voices ever. However, she’s also freaky as a muhfucka, dawg. For God‘s sake, who doesn’t love that, man?!

In the end, long live Jill Scott! Ultimately, this video proves that she wasn’t bullshitting in them lyrics, son. By and by, Scott is exactly who she said she was, fam. At the end of the day, I’m here for all of it, bruh. Now, let me go holla at my wife and apologize for my public thirst. Good day. LC out.

Donald Trump Can’t Cancel A Nonexistent Visit

Look, the idea of “fake news” bothers the fuck out of me, son. On the real, it bothers me so much because the person who created the term, Donald Trump, is the BIGGEST proponent of fake news, man. Shit, that’s exactly why this entire Philadelphia Eagles saga is ridiculous, fam. I mean, Trump publicly cancelled a nonexistent White House visit just to perpetuate his false narrative about NFL players hating the troops. All in all, I just want to know if facts will ever start mattering again.

Ok, for those who missed it, Trump “uninvited” the Super Bowl champions to the White House because of the National Anthem protests. Now, here’s the thing: not ONE Eagles player kneeled during the Anthem last season. To make matters worse, Fox News found a picture of three Eagles players praying BEFORE the game and used it to try and prove Trump’s fraudulent point. So, not only did Trump lie on the Eagles, his minions at Fox News DELIBERATELY used propaganda to further his cause. Frankly, ALL of this shit is fucking disgusting, bruh!

At this point, I don’t care that Fox News apologized, son. Real talk, both Trump and the network have fully immersed themselves in smoke and mirrors, man. Like, they don’t even pretend to tell the truth anymore, fam. And for what? To energize a voting base that’s rooted in hatred? Keeping it a buck, it’s tiring trying to keep up with all of the lies, bruh. First, they lie about NFL players disrespecting the troops. Next, they lie about the actions of the Eagles, specifically. Then, they lie about the context of the photo they used to discredit the team. *Sigh* All of the deception is fucking mind-boggling, people!

In the end, I’m just sick of all of the fuckery, son. Ultimately, politics has become the most dangerous game in the world, man. By and by, everyone cares more about sticking to a side than being right, fam. At the end of the day, I wish I could divorce myself from this entire process, bruh. But, if I do that, then I’d REALLY have no say about who’s running this shit-show. *Sigh* I need a drink, folks. That is all. LC out.

Stay Free, Meek Mill

So, Meek Mill is actually free, son. After five months in prison, his bail request was actually granted, man. Now, as a fan of his music, I must say that it’s good to see him out. However, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. All in all, at this point in time, Meek only has one obligation: stay the fuck outta prison, bruh!

Ok, look, I’m not going to go in depth about how I view his situation. On the real, I already did that in an entire post, son. In actuality, I just want to give the dude some advice, man. Now, before I continue, let me get some things out of the way. First, I wholeheartedly believe that the Justice System victimizes Black people. Second, I also believe that Meek’s two-to-four year prison sentence was outlandish. Third, I’m well aware of the credibility issues of his original arresting officer. With all of that being said, Meek needs to lay fucking loooooow, fam!

Listen, from my perspective, someone in Meek’s position needs to be WAY more careful than the average person. Real talk, it’s no secret that our court system is designed to keep individuals, namely minorities, under their boot. Now, if we know all of that, we can’t give them ANY reason to helm us up, bruh! As of right now, Meek needs an entire new team, son. Frankly, he needs to keep his attorney, Joe Tacopina, and get rid of ANYBODY who isn’t helping to maintain his freedom. Look, “keeping it real” is all good until those prison bars show up.

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, man. Ultimately, I just hope Meek learned a valuable lesson, fam. By and by, he needs to stay FAR AWAY from anything that’s going to get him trapped again. Furthermore, he needs to cut off anyone who isn’t steering him in the right direction. At the end of the day, he better not let the law get him again, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Starbucks: Where Sitting Down Is A Crime

So, I won’t lie, son. The list of shit that Black people can’t do without being harassed just keeps growing, man. I mean, there’s literally NOTHING we can do and NOWHERE we can go without being targeted. This time, a Starbucks in Philadelphia decided to get in on the nonsense, fam. All in all, I won’t blame Starbucks as an organization for what happened to the two wrongfully-arrested Black men. However; everybody who works in that particular store needs to be fired and sued, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, here’s how the fuckery went down, son. Now, two Black guys walked into Starbucks and sat down. Apparently, they were there to meet Andrew Yaffe, a real estate developer. The plan was for them to discuss some business opportunities. Anyway, while waiting for Yaffe, one of the men tried to use the bathroom. Since they hadn’t bought anything yet, they were denied entry. From there, a store manager asked both dudes to leave. When they refused, since they were waiting for Yaffe, the manager called the police. Ultimately, when the authorities showed up, both men were arrested for trespassing. Side note, during the arrest, Yaffe actually showed up. In any case, despite explaining to the officers that the men were waiting for him, they were still arrested anyway.

Moving on, a situation like this is yet another example of how Black people are viewed. Basically, regardless of what we’re doing, we’re always treated with hostility. I mean, let’s be real for a second, man. People sit down and chill in Starbucks locations ALL THE TIME! Shit, I’d bet money that right now some dude is on his MacBook, typing up some article that no one is going to read. Why? Because the Starbucks WiFi is always a good look, fam. So, why were these two men treated with such resentment? Hmm, maybe it has something to do with their skin color? Hell, I thought this was a post-racial society, bruh. Side note, I hope everyone can feeeeel the sarcasm in that last sentence.

In the end, it’s admirable that Kevin Johnson, Starbucks CEO, is bothered by this turn of events. It’s also good that the Starbucks patrons were unnerved by this gross injustice. However; none of this solves the real problem, son. Ultimately, the lens through which Black people are viewed is the issue, man. By and by, that is why the store manager’s first inclination was to call the police. At the end of the day, an irrational fear caused an irresponsible reaction. *Sigh* We can’t even enjoy coffee in peace, fam. LC out.

The Giants Fan In Me Can’t Watch The Super Bowl

So, what’s a guy to do, son? Do I choose Satan or do I choose the Antichrist? I mean, that’s EXACTLY how I feel trying to pick between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. I mean, as a New York Giants fan, Super Bowl LII is the worst shit ever, man! Look, regardless of the outcome, a team I can’t stand is going to be the NFL champion. Shit, this is precisely how I felt back in 2005 when Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens faced off against Tom Brady and Deion Branch. Either way, I’m not even sure if I can watch this shit, fam!

Listen, let’s skip the pretense, bruh. On the real, it’s simple mathematics, son. The Eagles are in the Giants’s division and the Patriots have been our Super Bowl nemesis. Look, there’s NO possible way for me to feel good about this championship game, man. As it stands, either the Eagles are going to win their first Super Bowl or Brady is going to get ring number six. Either way, the outcome is going to be the trashiest of the trash, fam. In addition, since Justin Timberlake seems to be embracing his inner MAGA, I can’t even look forward to the halftime show!

In the end, I have nothing else to give, bruh. Ultimately, I don’t give a fuck about what others may say. Yeah, I’m ABSOLUTELY salty, son! By and by, I haven’t supported the NFL all season for what they did to Colin Kaepernick and I will continue to sit on the sidelines. All I know is, I still have a trash ass Knicks team to root for and a ton of UFC fights to watch. That is all. LC out.