Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

My First Gray Hairs

So, yesterday was a humbling experience, son. Look, I always joke about being washed, but I actually felt it yesterday. I mean, I already have the joints of a 60-year-old dude. But, that’s because of my years of basketball, man. On the real, this gray hair shit is for the birds, fam. Frankly, I thought I had more time before my follicles threw in the towel, bruh. All in all, Father Time is trying to run up on the kid, brethren.

Ok, before I continue, let me tell everyone a quick story. So, I first shaved my head bald back in February of 2009. After getting into an argument with my Jamaican barber about where my hairline should be, I said “fuck it,” son. Shit, instead of pretending like my shapeup wasn’t starting to make the McDonald’s arch, I just took it all off, man. Side note, hearing a barber yell “no mon, it don’t grow dere” in patois is a trash ass feeling, folks. Anyway, because of this, I haven’t paid much attention to what my hair does when it starts to grown back in.

In any case, as of late, I’ve been lazy with shaving my head. So, when I hopped out the shower yesterday, I was in for a rude awakening, fam. Now, at first, when I saw the gray, I thought it was dead skin, bruh. Real talk, I tried to scratch the shit off, but it wouldn’t budge. From there, I asked my wife if she could try scratching it off. She looked at my head and was like “babe, that ain’t dead skin, that’s a gray hair. Oh, and you have another one over here.” Wait, what? Word? Listen, it would be one thing if I was “premature gray” or some shit. But, that ain’t it, folks. The boy LC is just getting old, people.

In the end, this post might not matter to anyone else, but it matters to me. Not because I think there’s something wrong, but because it’s a reminder that I need to take better care of myself. Ultimately, I’m not trying to be the bedridden old head or the geriatric senior citizen. Hell, good thing I just bought a bunch of dumbbells for the crib, son. At the end of the day, I’m trying to feel like a fucking superhero when I’m 50, man. With that being said, let me get outta here and lift some weights, fam. Good day. LC out.

P.S. I’d rock the fuck out of a gray beard, though. Let’s make that happen, Father Time! That is all.