Enough Of The Birkin Bag Talk

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, Black people really annoy me sometimes on social media. Like, I swear, we pick the STUPIDEST fucking topics to argue over, man. Shit, with all of the REAL shenanigans going on in the world, Birkin bags are the reason for a civil war? All I know is, this bag debate has showcased a number of problematic ideals, fam. The way I see it, our priorities are ALL fucked up, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, a faction of minorities are arguing about Birkin bags on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Now, thanks to celebrities like Cardi B, Offset, Saweetie, Quavo, Yaya Mayweather and Queen Naija, there’s a sentiment going around that if men aren’t paying their women’s bills and buying them gifts like Birkin bags, then those dudes aren’t worth their salt. Furthermore, any statements to the contrary is a sign that these aforementioned men are “broke.”

Now, before I continue, let me preface this conversation. Listen, I’m a married man who’s been with the same woman for 12 years. With that being said, I have no idea how much money I’ve spent on her. Hell, I have no idea how much money she’s spent on me. Anyway, I pay bills, buy gifts and do plenty of things that men are “supposed” to do. But, in reality, my wife is my equal and we just do what works best for us. In my eyes, too many people online are adhering to gender “rules” and don’t actually understand what it takes to be in a relationship. Instead, their just playing a role to appear a certain way to other people on the internet.

Look, if a man can afford to buy his woman an expensive gift, then do it. No harm, no foul, brethren. However, it’s this “expectation” that throws me off, son. Like, my lady was with me when I was down and she’s with me when I’m up. I was with her when she was down and I’m with her when she’s up. Real talk, we mutually benefit from each other’s success. Frankly, she adds value to my life that can’t be monetarily measured. So, I have no issue buying her whatever she wants. But, I simply don’t believe in anyone dropping money JUST to secure someone else’s presence. Man or woman, everyone should have to prove their worth, man. And by worth, I don’t mean “net worth,” fam. All I can say is, money can’t buy a strong foundation. Plain and simple. Funds absolutely help, but there’s A LOT more to making a union work than that. Then again, I guess some people would rather “cry in a Phantom.”

Also, I want to talk specifically about those Birkin bags. Now, do Black people realize that Hermès makes these bags? The same Hermès that wouldn’t even allow Oprah Winfrey in their store back in 2005? For God‘s sake, we minorities LOVE cozying up to predominantly White companies that don’t give two shits about us. The truth is, this company does not deserve the publicity and THIS much of our attention. The sad part is, we never get this passionate about Black and Brown-owned brands. All in all, this conversation is a disserve to us in more ways than one.

In the end, there’s nothing else that needs to be said, man. Ultimately, the Birkin hoopla needs to die, fam. By and by, most of the people who are arguing can’t even afford the damn bag, bruh. At the end of the day, there are WAY more important topics to consider, son. With that being said, go vote, brethren. That is all. LC out.

Whitney Houston Never Lived Her Truth

So, here we are, son. It’s 2019 and Robyn Crawford just confirmed something that we all innately knew: she had a romantic relationship with Whitney Houston. Now, if I’m being frank, Crawford’s connection with Houston is not the illuminating part of this story, man. Instead, I’m a lot more interested in the fallout from their union, fam. The way I see it, Houston never lived her truth, bruh. Because of this, she always had to hide a portion of her real self.

Ok, for those who missed it, Crawford, Houston’s lifelong friend, just released a new memoir. Now, as the title suggests, A Song for You: My Life with Whitney Houston details Crawford’s experience with the legendary singer. In totality, the book outlines the near three decades that the two women spent together. Along the way, Crawford speaks about Houston’s career, her marriage to Bobby Brown and the highs/lows of Houston’s life. But, of course, people naturally gravitated to the tales of romance between the two.

Now, according to Crawford, both women were physical with each other for about two years in the early 1980s. However, as soon as Houston’s career started to take off, the romance aspect died. Moving on, there were a few reasons why Houston felt compelled to end that part of their relationship. First, there was Cissy Houston and religion. The truth is, Whitney was worried about how she would be viewed by her mother and the church for having same-sex relations. Shit, Cissy even admitted to Oprah Winfrey that she wouldn’t have approved of Whitney being a lesbian. Furthermore, it was a well-established fact that Cissy hated Crawford for this very reason.

Second, there was Clive Davis and the music business. The fact is, all parties involved were worried about Houston’s “image.” Real talk, they didn’t believe that the general public was ready for a non-heterosexual Pop star. Sadly, they were absolutely right, son. Keeping it a buck, that era wasn’t very tolerant, man. In my eyes, Houston would’ve been shunned if she came out as lesbian or bisexual.

The thing is, I truly believe this ideology is the most backwards shit in the world, fam. So, people preferred Bobby Brown and cocaine over a same-sex relationship with Crawford? Like, that was the better choice, bruh? Side bar, I’m not blaming Brown for all of Houston’s troubles, folks. All I can say is, the two of them were fucking bad for each other. Love or not, they made piss-poor decisions together. With that being said, it would’ve been better for them to stay apart.

In the end, I honestly believe this “conformity” altered the course of Whitney Houston’s life. Ultimately, I think she would’ve been a more adjusted person if she didn’t have to hide aspects of herself. By and by, just to keep Crawford around, Houston had to make her an employee. All I know is, it didn’t have to be that way, son. At the end of the day, a person’s sexuality shouldn’t dictate how the world reacts to them. The wild part is, Houston would’ve been a lot freer if she came up in this era, man. But, that’s not the way the world works, fam. All in all, shout-out to Crawford for finally speaking her truth and RIP to the incomparable Whitney Houston. That is all. LC out.

Tyler Perry Runs Hollywood

So, I won’t lie, son. Real talk, I have conflicting feelings about Tyler Perry, man. On one hand, I can’t say that I’m the biggest fan of his movies and TV shows. But, I must admit, I respect the fuckity-fuck out of him, fam. I mean, what he’s accomplishing in Hollywood needs to be applauded, bruh. All in all, instead of waiting for the powers that be to empower him, Perry took ownership of his legacy. The point is, the grand opening of Tyler Perry Studios is a big fucking deal, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Perry officially opened the 330-acre studio he built in Atlanta, Georgia. Now, at first, I was confused, son. Shit, based on the fact that Black Panther and The Walking Dead have filmed there, I thought the studio was already up-and-running. However, those projects only operated on a small part of the studio. The fact is, the overall site is a much bigger and doper endeavor, man.

Now, in celebration of the grand opening, Perry had a party that included damn near every important Black person in the industry. Like, whether we’re talking about Oprah WinfreySamuel L. JacksonAva DuVernayBeyoncé or Jay-Z, the stars showed up and showed out at Perry’s event. With all of that being said, I hope people don’t miss the point about why this is a huge moment, fam. For some background, Tyler Perry Studios is the first production studio that’s fully-owned by a Black person. On top of that, it’s larger than Walt Disney StudiosWarner Bros. Studios and Paramount Pictures combined. Yeah, that’s big shit right there, bruh.

In the end, I wholly respect Perry for not waiting for a handout. Ultimately, as people of color, we’re always talking about wanting “a seat at the table.” The way I see it, fuck all of that, son. Frankly, we should be more worried about building our own tables. By and by, when we maintain our independence, we no longer put ourselves at the mercy of those who don’t want us to win. At the end of the day, ownership is real freedom, man. So, salute to Tyler Perry, fam. Salute. That is all. LC out.

I Don’t Want Celebrities Running For President

So, I won’t lie, son. I can already see some of the angry responses I might get for this post, man. However; I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t keep it a buck, fam. Look, Oprah Winfrey don’t need to be the damn President, bruh! In fact, NO celebrity needs to be the President, people! Listen, even though I believe Donald Trump is insane, I also believe he’s shown us that we need experience in the Oval Office. Shit, I can’t even be a computer repairman without some experience. With that being said, why should we shirk credibility for the highest job in the land?

Ok, before I continue, let me make one thing clear, son. On the real, I have nothing against Oprah, man. I mean, her influence in media goes without saying. So, there’s no way I can hate on anyone who’s accomplished as much as she has. However; what the fuckity-fuck does Oprah know about government, fam? Look, we’re not talking about the community board, fam. We’re talking about President of the United States! Real talk, when did it become cool for a novice to be the most powerful person in the world? I swear, Trump has truly, TRULY ruined politics, bruh.

Look, let’s be honest for a second, folks. Celebrities are only talking about running because the bar has been lowered. Hell, I’m sure the average celeb believes they’re more sane than Trump, so that means they could hold office. However; President Orange was never qualified in the first place, son. So, he should NEVER be a comparison point for any of these other famous people. With that being said, Oprah isn’t qualified to be President, The Rock isn’t qualified to be President and neither is Kanye West. For the love of God, please leave our elected offices to people who have at least ran a district before! All in all, the madness needs to stop, man!

In the end, can we chill with the shenanigans, fam? Ultimately, car salesmen don’t need to build cars and television personalities don’t need to be President. By and by, Oprah has all of the power in the world and can pull the strings behind the scene. That doesn’t mean she has the first clue about how to run the country. All I know is, she helped Barack Obama and she can help another qualified candidate. Now, if she wants to join local politics and then move up, I can jive with that. However; the White House off the rip? No thanks. LC out.