Two… TWO Mass Shootings In 24 Hours

So, here we are, son. Another day, another mass shooting. Wait, no, excuse me, man. I mean, another day and TWO MORE mass shootings, fam. Like, I’m at a legitimate loss for words, bruh. Seriously, I just wrote about the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting last Monday, people. How the fuck am I writing about a second AND third shooting in a week’s time? For God‘s sake, something needs to be done NOW!

Ok, let’s start with El Paso, Texas, son. So, Patrick Crusius, a 21-year-old from Allen, Texas, drove over 600 miles to El Paso. Now, as seen in his “manifesto,” he went there for the sole purpose of shooting Hispanic people. This fruit loop believes the country is being overrun by immigrants and his solution was to shoot as many Latino people as he could find. All in all, Crusius killed 20 people and injured another 26.

Now, here’s the part of the article that’s going to make Donald Trump supporters mad. Yes, y’alls President has culpability in this situation. Shit, for the last four years, he’s made it his life’s mission to vilify the Hispanic community. Hell, building the Border Wall was THE major policy point of his campaign, man. Fam, as of right now, there are still countless Hispanic families being held in glorified internment camps, bruh. So, he can’t stoke the flames for all of these years and then back the fuck out when a loser takes his words to heart. On the real, Crusius thought he was helping the fucking cause, folks.

Moving on, let’s talk about Dayton, Ohio. Now, 24-year-old Connor Betts rolled up to the Ned Peppers bar and fired at everyone outside. In under a minute, he murdered 9 people and hurt 27 more. Sadly, his sister, Megan Betts, was one of the innocent folks killed outside of the bar. All I know is, it’s absolutely baffling that he was able to cause so much damage in such a short period of time.

Anyway, when it comes to Betts, he identified as a Democrat. Furthermore, based on his social media presence, he supported Elizabeth Warren and socialism. In addition, he had numerous tweets displaying his disdain for the Trump administration. In any case, I’m still not sure what this fucktard’s motive was. All I can say is, it better not have been related to any bipartisan shit. Bruh, what kind of idiot thinks mass murder is an effective political tool? Like I said, I don’t know if that was his motivation, but at this point, I’d believe it, son. The fact is, people don’t need to die to prove a stupid ass point, man. No one deserves to be killed for the Democrats or the Republicans.

With all of that being said, let’s talk about the two main issues at hand: guns and White male terrorists. Listen, anytime some shit doesn’t go some White dude’s way, his solution is to kill a bunch of innocent people. Look, Timothy McVeigh was mad at the government, so he bombed an entire Federal building. Dylann Roof hated Black people, so he shot up a church. Now, Crusius despised Hispanics, so he drove over 9 hours to murder them. The fact is, domestic (White) terrorists are WAY more dangerous than another other group. That’s right, more deadly than the Muslims they always try to pit us against.

On top of that, the weaponry these terrorists have access to changes the entire game, fam. Bruh, Betts was able to shoot 35+ people in under a minute, son. Real talk, I don’t want to hear a debate, man. Keeping it a buck, if all he had was a knife, there is NO way he’d be able to do that much damage, folks. So yes, the guns are also a fucking problem, brethren. At this point, I really don’t understand how dummies can even argue either of these facts.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, we have a gun control problem that no one wants to talk about. We have a White terrorism problem that no one wants to talk about. Shit, Dave Gomez, a former FBI counter-terrorism agent, admitted as much to the Senate, man. By and by, since nobody in power wants to touch these subjects, people will keep on dying, fam. At the end of the day, they can take their “thoughts and prayers” and shove it up their partisan asses, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Advertisements

Trump Is As Much Of An Immigrant As The Freshman Congresswomen

So, here we are again, son. Another day, another preposterous Twitter rant from Donald Trump. Anyway, in a random stream of consciousness, Trump tweeted that progressive Democratic congresswomen should “fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came” before telling the United States how to govern. All I know is, I don’t even know where to begin with the fuckery, man.

Ok, before I continue, I’d like to go through Trump’s family tree. On the real, I feel like this is necessary in order to showcase how ridiculous his comments were. Now, for those who are unaware, Trump’s mother, Mary Anne Trump, was an immigrant. In fact, she was born in Scotland in 1912. In addition, his father, Fred Trump, was a first generation American who was born to German parents. Furthermore, Trump’s first AND third wives were both born outside of this country. With all of that being said, his views on immigrants are fucking perplexing, fam. I mean, his entire lineage is full of “aliens,” bruh.

Moving on, let’s talk about the congresswomen who Trump essentially targeted. First, there’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She was born in The Bronx, New York to Puerto Rican parents. This makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Rashida Tlaib. She was born in Detroit, Michigan to Palestinian parents. This also makes her a first generation American. Next, there’s Ayanna Pressley. She was born in Cincinnati, Ohio. Now, unless I’m wrong, her folks weren’t even immigrants at all, son (well, they were, but you know what I mean). Finally, there’s Ilhan Omar. Real talk, she’s the only one who was born out of the country, hailing from Somalia. The point is, the ancestry of most of these women has as many foreigners as Trump, man. So, what is the hate really about, fam?

Look, let’s just call a spade a spade, bruh. The truth is, immigrants are only vilified when they’re Black or Brown, son. Keeping it a buck, the motivation that caused Trump to question Barack Obama‘s birthplace is the same motivation that caused him to attack these congresswomen. The fact is, these ladies are just as American as Trump and anybody else who decides to question them. Listen, political disagreements are one thing. However, belittling someone’s patriotism and devaluing their place in this country is completely different, man. The way I see, people of color are always viewed as “invaders,” regardless of our strong ties to this nation.

In the end, I’m not even going to pretend like I’m surprised, fam. Like, I almost skipped this subject entirely, bruh. Hell, water is wet and Donald Trump says racist shit. What’s new, son? Ultimately, 45 showed us who he was a loooooooong time ago, man. At the end of the day, we just need to keep pushing back until we finally push him out, fam. That is all. LC out.

I Promise That LeBron James Is The G.O.A.T.

So, I’m going to keep this post short today, son. Listen, the debate is over, man. LeBron James is the greatest of all time, fam. Like, I don’t give a fuck about how people feel about him as a basketball player. All I know is, this dude used his money, power and influence to build a damn school, bruh! Frankly, that’s greater than ANYTHING he could ever achieve on the court, brethren. With that being said, James deserves ALL of our respect.

Ok, for those who have been living under a rock, James just made a MAJOR move in Akron, Ohio. Now, through his foundation, he opened up an elementary school called the I Promise School. The building was designed to hold 240 third- and fourth-grade students. Furthermore, these particular kids were “identified by Akron Public Schools as behind in critical academic areas and other factors.” Essentially, James opened a school to help the at-risk youth in his hometown. All I can say is, he’s a SUPER standup dude for making this kind of investment, son.

Now, in terms of features, the I Promise School will have A LOT to offer its students. To begin, there will be free tuition, free uniforms, free transportation within two miles, free breakfast, lunch and snacks, food pantry for families, GEDs and job placement services for parents AND guaranteed tuition to the University of Akron for every student who graduates. I mean, what the fuck, man?! This is fucking phenomenal, fam! Keeping it a buck, I REALLY want this school to work, bruh. Not because of James, but because of the children who deserve a chance to be great.

In the end, I guess not shutting up and dribbling was for the greater good. Right, Laura Ingraham? Ultimately, I don’t know how people can hate on this dude, son. By and by, basketball is just a game, man. The fact of the matter is, he’s using his position to be greater than the game, fam. At the end of the day, this move should be respected on all fronts, bruh. On the real, if anyone has anything negative to say about this, then they need to analyze why they’re so hateful. Listen to the kids, bro! That is all. LC out.

A Letter To Steve Stephens

Dear Steve Stephens,

Look, I’ve never been one to mince words, so I’m going to just get straight to the point. You’re a fucking coward, man. You’re nothing more than a peon who deserves the absolute worst. How DARE you take the life of Robert Godwin in such a callous manner?! That man did NOTHING to deserve your pathetic misguided wrath! All I know is, your day is coming and it will be completely justified.

Now, let’s be clear here, son. People get dumped everyday, B. On the real, unless a relationship ends in marriage or some type of domestic situation, then someone is getting the axe. It’s just the nature of the game, man. With that being said, why the fuck would you use getting dumped to justify why you killed that man? Ok, so, your ex-girlfriend doesn’t want you anymore. What the fuck does that have to do with Robert Godwin? Shit, not only did you take that man’s life over some bullshit, but you had the audacity to commit this travesty on Facebook Live. Good fucking Lord, man! You’ve literally taken being a piece of shit to the next level, bruh.

To make matters worse, you dragged your mother, Maggie Green, into the nonsense. I mean, you really had the nerve to tell her that you’re shooting people because you’re mad at your woman? Man, what kind of hoe ass behavior is this, son? Out of the countless ways people find to get over heartbreak, this is your solution?! Look, your ex-lady really dodged a fucking bullet, no pun intended. Clearly, she’s better off not dealing with your unstable ass. No real man would act in such a manner, bruh. She absolutely made the right decision.

In the end, this manhunt can only last for so long, man. Eventually, the authorities are going to catch up to you and you deserve whatever brand of justice they plan on dishing out. Ultimately, no one is going to feel sorry for you, son. All in all, fuck you very much, bitch!

Sincerely,

A man who’s disgusted by your very existence

What Is The Point Of The Electoral College?

To begin, I know exactly what the point of the Electoral College is. However; as this recent election, along with the 2000 George W. BushAl Gore race, has shown us, this system is fucking bullshit, man! As it currently stands, Hillary Clinton has amassed 62.8 million votes across the country. In comparison, Donald Trump has pulled in 61.5 million total votes. Now, despite securing well over a million more votes than Trump, Clinton somehow lost the election by 74 projected electoral votes (306 to 232). Based on this result, on December 19th, the actual Electoral College is supposed to vote and confirm Trump’s presidency. So, let me get this straight, son. This woman could literally have a million MORE people on her side and still get trounced in the race? If that ain’t a sign that the Electoral College needs to go, we all must be wrong about simple mathematics, man.

Now, for those who don’t understand the Electoral College, I’ll try to give a little bit of background. I’m not going to go balls deep into the issue, but I’d like to give some insight on its purpose. So, the idea is, the Senate, the House of Representatives and three additional electors from Washington, D.C. vote for who will ultimately become the President and the Vice President. The way this vote works, all states, except for Maine and Nebraska, vote in a “winner-take-all” manner. Meaning, if a candidate has the most general election votes in a particular state, the electors from that state give all of their votes to that candidate. In addition, the number of electors per state depends on the population of that state. This is why states like New York, California, Florida and Texas have a shit-ton of electors.

With all of that being said, this system is fucking broken, son! First, the founding fathers put this system in place because they did NOT want the popular vote to choose the president. That’s a major red flag, man. Way to circumvent the will of the people, douchebags! Second, this system gives way too much power to “swing states.” Every four years, we can basically guess how most of the country will behave. California will most likely be a blue state, while Texas will most likely be a red state. Meaning, places like fucking Ohio and Iowa ultimately have the upper hand on who will win the election. Look, son, maybe it’s just me, but a couple of random states shouldn’t have that much fucking influence. If the overall country is leaning towards a particular candidate, why should we all have to suffer because a few states in the Midwest decided to do some fuck shit? It doesn’t make any sense, man! More Americans wanted Clinton as our president, bro. I don’t give a flying fuck about what people in Michigan are thinking. These swing states ruined it for all of us, son!

Ultimately, I could keep going with my Electoral College hate fest. However; I should probably get back to work. I need to make sure I acquire as much funds as possible, son. I damn sure ain’t gonna be broke during the revolution, bro. All I know is, Donald Trump ain’t my president, man. Tell his supporters to come and get me. Good day.

P.S. It’s funny, as in not funny, how Trump now praises the Electoral College after calling it a disaster back in 2012. I guess it’s only “genius” when it benefits him instead of a Black man. That is all.

Et Tu, Dave Chappelle?

Look, I’m a Dave Chappelle fanatic, son. Like, an absolute Stan, man. In my opinion, he’s the greatest comedian of all time and created the greatest sketch show ever. Now, with all of that being said, all of my hero worship doesn’t mean he can’t get this work too, son. After hearing his thoughts on Hillary ClintonDonald Trump, women’s rights and the LGBTQ community, I’m forced to take the Gawd to task for the fuckity-fuck shit he said. *Sigh* With great pain in my heart, let’s do this, man.

So, over the weekend, Chappelle did a number of surprise shows at The Cutting Room here in New York. Now, while he’s been known to incorporate social and political musings in his material, I don’t think his Friday audience was prepared for his latest batch of hot takes.

To begin, let’s talk about Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” scandal. Apparently, to Chappelle, while Trump’s words were “gross,” he thought the idea of Clinton’s camp possibly leaking the Access Hollywood tape was more egregious. In addition, he didn’t agree that Trump promoted sexual assault in his rhetoric. According to Chappelle’s logic, the phrase “they let you do it” implies consent. I guess we’re just ignoring the fact that Trump literally said he’ll flat out kiss AND grab women if he finds them attractive. Nowhere in his comments did he EVER state his advances were warranted. Shit, Chappelle must have been famous for too long because even he can’t seem to wrap his mind around the fact that physical actions can’t just be taken. If the woman didn’t co-sign beforehand, it’s a no-go, son. Plain and fucking simple, man. Also, even if Clinton did release the tape, who gives a fuck, man? Out of every group Trump has offended this election cycle, it would be poetic justice if he fell on the sword of his own words.

Now, while Chappelle’s political philosophies may have been bad enough, he decided to turn his attention to women and the LGTBQ community. It appears Dave has a problem with activists discussing the issues of these particular groups in front of Black people. In terms of disenfranchisement, racism is apparently top tier and everyone else’s struggle is secondary. Good fucking Lord, Dave! Look, man, I’m one of the main people speaking about racial injustice around here, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of someone else’s fight, son. What the fuck, Dave?! Black people have a raw fucking deal in this country, but so do American Indians, women, gay people, transgender people, etc. Shit, if we’re really being real here, this country favors straight White men. Everyone else is working to gain some type of equal footing. It’s a fucking shame that Chappelle is acting like he isn’t aware of this.

In the end, maybe Chappelle has been in Yellow Springs, Ohio for too long now. He’s becoming a cantankerous older gentleman and it’s a damn shame to watch, man. Now, maybe, hopefully, I’m blowing this entire thing out of proportion. All I know is, we can’t be out here losing more of our heroes, son. Get your shit together, Dave! Good day.

Fun Fact: Barack Obama Invented Racism

Ok, can I ask everyone out there a question? With all of the racial tension currently bubbling in America, is it bad that Kathy Miller‘s ABSURD comments were just the laugh I needed? I mean, I’ve heard some preposterous statements in my lifetime, but Miller has reached a Jedi Grand Master level of stupid. But hey, what can I expect from a staunch supporter of Donald Trump?

Now, we do I begin? Ok, so, Kathy Miller was Trump’s campaign chair for Mahoning County in Ohio. I used the word “was” because after the barrel of fuckery she uttered during an interview with The Guardian, she promptly stepped down. In any case, what made this interview highly entertaining is the fact she believes racism didn’t exist until Barack Obama became president. In addition, she commented that she never experienced segregation and never saw the civil rights movement “as anything.” To top it all off, she claimed that Black people have always had the same opportunities as White people. For example, she referenced our “access” to the same schools as everyone else. Look, I could keep going, but it’s time to start tearing this truffle butter stain to shreds.

First, I find it incredibly odd that she stressed if Black people haven’t risen up in the last 50 years, then it’s our fault. Why 50 years, Kathy? Ohhhh, maybe that’s because we only got the right to vote about 50 years ago! Why didn’t we have the right to vote before that, Kathy? Institutional bigotry, dumbass! Racial discrimination in the voting process only became illegal in 1965. 19-motherfucking-65, man! My mother was a legit fourteen years old when this occurred. That’s how short of a time period we’re talking about, son.

Moving on, how can she claim we always had access to the same schools when SEGREGATION EXISTED?! Oh, wait, I forgot, she never experienced that. So, since some random White woman never came face-to-face with what was happening in damn near every American neighborhood, segregation must not have been real. Look, our inability to get accepted into predominantly White colleges was a fundamental reason for why HBCUwere created in the first place. Funny thing is, these same schools always allowed access to students of all races. Can these historically White institutions make that same claim? Absolutely not, son.

Lastly, I’m not even going to comment on her views about the civil rights movement. I mean, my day off from work on Martin Luther King Jr. Day is all of the proof I need, son. That man literally took a bullet for Black people, yet this woman denies the movement was even real. *Sigh* Idiocy knows no bounds, son. It honestly, truly, knows no bounds.

In the end, all I can say is, these type of people really walk the streets, man. Like, Kathy Miller is an actual human being. She isn’t someone we made up. She really breathes air and drinks water, son. With that being said, it’s mind-boggling that there are people out there who are this stupid. Shit, not only stupid, but actually in charge of organizations. Man, I wouldn’t even let this woman work the deep fryer at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Once again, this is the kind of tomfoolery Trump inspires. Need I say more? Good day.