Protect Soulja Boy At All Costs

So, I’m going to keep this post short, son. The fact of the matter is, Soulja Boy is a national treasure and should be treated as such. I mean, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” hit me on a philosophical level, man. All jokes aside, if anyone’s in a bad mood, just yell “watch me yuuuuu” and witness the world brighten up. With all of that being said, I’m thoroughly enjoying all of Soulja’s recent shenanigans, fam. All in all, the man just wants his respect, bruh.

Ok, for those who missed it, Soulja Boy has been on a tear, son. First, he took to Instagram to proclaim that he had the biggest comeback in 2018. Frankly, he wasn’t trying to hear shit about Tyga or Meek Mill, man. Next, he went to The Breakfast Club to further dig into his bag, fam. Shit, who cares about Tyga’s collabo with Offset? Big Draco has MAD records with Migos. Who cares about Meek’s former beef with Drake? Soulja went to war with Chris Brown, bruh. Like, what else do folks need to know, brethren? All I can say is, Famous Dex better lay low. He doesn’t want that Stacks On Deck smoke, people.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, son. Ultimately, this post pales in comparison to Soulja’s actual rants, son. By and by, everyone can check out ALL of the footage below. Real talk, I made my wife watch his IG rant last night, man. At the end of the day, that’s how hilarious it was, fam. Anyway, here’s some tomfoolery to lighten up everyone’s Friday. That is all. LC out.

P.S. I know I’m being an ass, but Soulja Boy really did give a lot of new artists the internet blueprint, son. Hell, he’s legitimately the first rapper that I remember blowing up online, man. So, all hail Big Draco! Good day.

God Bless Yung Miami & Cardi B

Disclaimer: Don’t watch City Girls’ “Twerk” video anywhere near a place of employment. You’re welcome.

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Generally, I try to be a responsible and respectable dude. I try to be a guy who’s knowledgeable about relevant and pertinent issues, man. However, for today, I’m just talking about ass, fam. I mean, it was EVERYWHERE in City Girls’ “Twerk” video, bruh! Like, all jokes aside, this might be the greatest music video ever made, people. With that being said, why is anyone still reading this?

Ok, for those who missed it, City Girls, well, Yung Miami, released the “Twerk” video with Cardi B. Now, I don’t exactly know what to say about this visual, son. Shit, there are copious amounts of women shaking all manners of culo, man. In addition, there’s a ton of body paint, stripper poles and entertaining displays of athleticism. On the real, what else could we possibly want from a video called “Twerk,” fam?

In the end, there’s nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, everyone needs to go watch the video, son. Also, I hope everybody paid close attention to my disclaimer. Seriously, don’t watch this shit anywhere near a place that supplies paychecks. Furthermore, don’t watch this around children or close to any clergy, man. At the end of the day, they’ll probably just start praying for wayward souls, fam. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Based on this video, Offset lost, bruh. Like, he really lost, son. *Sigh* Good day.

A Formerly ‘Ain’t Shit’ Dude’s Advice To Offset

So, let me keep it a buck, son. In order to make a point about this Cardi B and Offset situation, I’m going to throw myself under the bus. In any case, I just hope that anybody in Offset’s position can learn from my past mistakes. All I can say is, I’d bet money that his public campaign to get Cardi back is actually hurting him, man. The way I see it, Offset needs to take a much different approach, fam.

Ok, before I continue, let me outline my qualifications on this topic. Now, back in 2011, I was wilin’ in these streets, bruh. Anyway, despite the fact that I was a new dad and in a committed relationship, I was frequently involved in shenanigans that I had no business being a part of, son. Moving on, I ended up doing some shit with a woman who wasn’t my lady. Needless to say, I ended up in all of the doghouses, man. However, instead of immediately pushing her to take me back, I went a slightly different route, fam.

Now, as difficult as it was for me to do, I gave her space, bruh. I gave her room to make a decision for herself. No public showboating and no persistent pressure. Shit, instead of pining for her on social media, I legit disappeared from Facebook and Twitter for like 3 months. I made it a point to be present without being overbearing. So, that meant getting cursed out regularly. That meant getting ignored for days on end. That meant facing the possibility that she might not come back. All in all, the choice was in her hands and I wasn’t going to force her to make it.

Look, the point of that story is to tell Offset to back off a little. Ok, yes, it definitely seems like he wants his wife back. But, all of this attention may backfire, bruh. Hell, she basically said as much when she said “I told you I don’t like surprises” on Instagram. On the real, if she feels like she’s being bombarded on all angles, she might end up pulling away even more. The truth is, Offset needs to let her make a decision for herself. Real talk, that’s the only real chance he has, son.

In the end, don’t show up to any more concerts, Offset. Ultimately, he doesn’t want his woman to feel smothered. By and by, it’s insanely hard to loosen the grip while also trying to regain a connection. However, that may be his only real move, man. At the end of the day, the ball is in Cardi’s court, fam. Allow her to call the play. It might just work, bruh. That is all. LC out.

What The F*ck, Cardi B & Nicki Minaj?!

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, both Cardi B AND Nicki Minaj need to be called out for unnecessary fuckery. At this point, what are they even beefing about, man? I mean, is it about who’s more successful? Is it about who raps better? Is it about who looks better? Well, let me tell them both something: NOBODY FUCKING CARES, FAM! Damn, both of these women are living their best lives but can’t seem to leave the dumb shit alone. All in all, New York Fashion Week is not the fucking time to throw hands, bruh!

Ok, to be clear, there are 80 million stories about why Cardi confronted Nicki at a Harper’s Bazaar party. According to Cardi, Nicki said something negative about Kulture, her daughter with Offset, and she wanted to lay hands on Nicki. Now, Nicki denies this but it seems as if she did like a tweet that said something disparaging about Kulture. In addition, Nicki previously dragged Stormi, daughter of Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, into an argument about album sales. So, Nicki isn’t the most reliable source here, son.

In any case, Cardi thought it was a brilliant idea to confront Nicki at this NYFW party. Look, I have kids, so I understand wanting to molly-whop someone who slighted them. However, not at a fucking formal event, man! For God‘s sake, Cardi was wearing a damn Dolce & Gabbana dress! Let’s just say that ain’t the most functional outfit to scrap in, fam. On the real, both of these women are fucking wrong, bruh. Nicki is wrong for liking some bullshit on Twitter and Cardi is wrong for pressing the issue at this public event. Listen, these are grown fucking women, folks. They need to start acting like it.

In the end, I’m sick of hearing about this beef, son. Real talk, nothing positive has come out of this, man. Ultimately, Nicki looks like a bitter chick who’s mad that she finally has some commercial competition and Cardi looks like an uncontrollable wildcard who may block her blessings. At the end of the day, both women are too successful for this stupid shit, fam. By and by, they need to knock it the fuck off, bruh. Everybody loses here. That is all. LC out.

Why Do People Support 6ix9ine?

So, before I begin, let me make one thing clear: this post has nothing to do with music, son. To be honest, I haven’t listened to enough of 6ix9ine‘s songs to give an honest opinion. In any case, I’m still deeply troubled by the fact that he gets as much support as he does. In my eyes, any person who pled guilty to sexual assault should be ostracized, man. I mean, is there no fucking limit? All in all, how can anybody even remotely justify being a 6ix9ine fan?

Ok, let me explain what my beef is, fam. Now, like I said previously, I’m not really familiar with 6ix9ine’s music. So, I have no judgment, positive or negative, about his songs. In addition, I don’t care about his alleged affiliation with the Bloods gang. Shit, countless rappers have boasted about gang ties, whether they were real or not. Anyway, my issues arose when I heard about what he pled guilty to in 2015. Apparently, early that year, 6ix9ine was caught on video smacking a naked 13-year-old girl’s ass while she gave head to his friend. Keep in mind, 6ix9ine was 18 at the time. Bruh, how is anyone okay with this?! Real talk, this isn’t just some allegation, son! He pled guilty to that shit, man!

Look, based on that information, I can’t help but call out other rappers. I’m wholeheartedly judging Tory Lanez, Young Thug, Fetty Wap, A Boogie and Offset. Listen, ALL of those rappers, who I actually like, worked with 6ix9ine on his Day69 mixtape. On the real, I hope they didn’t know about his past when they worked with him. Keeping it a buck, if they did, then that means they’re condoning and co-signing the career of a sexual abuser. In my eyes, there’s no way to explain that, fam. *Sigh* I guess Trippie Redd is the only one with some sense. As of right now, he’s the only one to distance himself from 6ix9ine.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say here, bruh. Ultimately, I think all of this shit is cut and dry, son. The way I see it, 6ix9ine shouldn’t be championed. By and by, we have to have some semblance of standards, man. At the end of the day, people need to be held accountable for their actions. All I know is, sexual abusers shouldn’t be allowed to flourish, fam. That is all. LC out.

Joe Budden Needs To Chill

Look, I’m actually a Joe Budden fan, man. I mean, I’ve already expressed that sentiment on this very blog. However; at this point, there is something that Joe needs to learn: chill the fuck out, fam! Damn, this dude finds himself in some bullshit every time he steps outside. Listen, whether it’s his feud with Drake or his on-air clash with Lil Yachty, Joe always ends up in some unnecessary tomfoolery. Now, with all of that being said, after his wild interview with Migos, Joe needs to either curb his attitude or pick a different career path.

So, shit went left while Joe, DJ Akademiks and Nadeska Alexis interviewed Migos at the 2017 BET Awards. Joe and company were all representing Everyday Struggle, a show on Complex. During the conversation, Akademiks asked Takeoff, one-third of Migos, how he felt about being left off of “Bad and Boujee,” the group’s biggest hit. For some reason, Takeoff said he wasn’t left off of the track. Umm, maybe he confused himself with Lil Uzi Vert, son.

In any case, Ak asked him to repeat himself a number of times and Joe stated that he wanted to wrap up the interview. From there, Quavo responded to Joe’s comment, then Joe suddenly got up and dropped his mic. Needless to say, Migos and company wanted to slap the beard off of Joe’s face.

Now, here’s my thing: why was any of this necessary, son? Ok, yes, Joe is known as an ornery rapper. Yes, he’s known to snap at Ak on a regular basis. But, he’s supposed to be a damn media personality now, man! If the interview isn’t going well, either switch up the line of questioning or find a smoother way to end the talk. Why the fuck would he just get up and drop his mic? Man, if I was in Migos, I would’ve felt a way too. Like, the entire situation was unprofessional, fam. Anger is not the way to solve every fucking problem, bruh! Joe needs to learn some fucking couth and a little patience.

Frankly, I don’t know who Joe was pissed at. Was it Ak or was it Migos? Now, my money is on Ak, but even still, there’s a better way to handle this situation, son. Shit, look at what almost happened, man! One flippant act almost got Joe stomped out by an entire entourage. On the real, the shit doesn’t make any sense, fam. Joe just needs to relax, bruh.

In the end, Joe needs to make a decision. Does he really want to be a media personality? If not, he can go home and be mad inside his house with Cyn Santana. If he does, then he needs to learn how to handle these incidents better. Ultimately, nobody should get their ass kicked over a “Bad and Boujee” question, son. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Offset is the dopest member of Migos, man. Yes, I know, that has nothing to do with nothing, but I just had to say that, fam. Peace.

Migos Needs To Drop Their Album NOW!

Look, let’s be clear here: Migos‘ “Bad and Boojee” is the best song ever. Donald Glover already told everyone this during the Golden Globes, son. Ok, it may be a stretch to say it’s the best song ever, but dammit, I enjoy EVERYTHING about that joint, man. Shit, I even enjoy Lil Uzi Vert‘s verse and I’m not the biggest fan of his music. With that being said, all I know is, Migos needs to drop their Culture album right this second! Their buzz can’t get any higher, son. It’s go time, bro!

Now, as of yesterday, “Bad and Boujee” is the number-one song on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. That makes it the number-one Pop song in the country. That means a song that references cooking dope in a crockpot is the most played song in America, son. Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but that tidbit makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, man. While Quavo may be the most visible member of Migos, Offset is the star of this song and has all of the memorable catchphrases. Hell, the hook of the song ain’t even really a hook, man. It’s just another Offset verse where he gets to stunt in preposterous ways. Man, what’s not to love about this fucking song, son?

I mean, that’s all, folks. I’m just happy that a song I enjoy so much has topped the charts. While I’m at it, shout-out to Metro Boomin for producing damn near every jam over the last three years and finally getting his first number-one song. For me, his work on 21 Savage‘s Savage Mode makes me want to kick small puppies and throw hamsters like I’m playing shot put. All in all, it’s songs like this that keep me sane in this world, son. Everyone needs to get on the train. Good day.