Who In Hawaii Needs To Get Fired?

Look, this is a wild era right now, son. Like, it really feels like a nuclear catastrophe could arise at any minute, man. With that being said, we ain’t got the time to be worried about idiots who are bad at their job. I mean, a high level of incompetence resulted in the nonsense that occurred in Hawaii. All I know is, the good people down there didn’t deserve the fear that was unjustly instilled in them.

Ok, for those who missed it, some bonehead in the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency made a MASSIVE mistake. Now, on Saturday, an unknown individual sent out a message that said “BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” Needless to say, Hawaiians lost their collective minds, fam! Shit, all of us would if we received a similar message, bruh! Listen, whether we’re speaking about North Korea or ISIS, there are real threats out there in the world. In any case, now is not the time to be making these kind of mistakes, folks!

Now, the agency has come out and said that the error occurred because someone pushed the wrong button. Apparently, instead of pressing “test alert,” some dumb-dumb pressed “live alert.” So, what, that’s all it took to send an entire state into panic, son? Like, there aren’t more safeguards to prevent this type of tomfoolery? Fam, what kind of idiocy is this? For fuck’s sake, who designed this backwards ass system, man? All in all, everyone down there should be fired for this brand of fuckery, fam!

In the end, I’m just glad everyone in Hawaii is safe, bruh. Yeah, they had an unnecessary scare, but ultimately, the alternative could’ve been REAL bad, son! By and by, a fake message about a ballistic missile is waaaaaay better than a real ballistic missile, fam. Now, instead of mourning the loss of fallen loved ones, we can make sure that inept assholes are no longer in charge of our safety. That is all. LC out.


Does North Korea REALLY Want Smoke?

Ok, look, I’ve talked about the possibility of World War III a few times, son. Now, even though I was always serious, a part of me didn’t really believe it would go down, man. However; North Korea is out here WILIN’, fam! I mean, it seems like they really want some static, bruh. All I know is, after their latest hydrogen bomb test, the world might really be headed to No Man’s Land, people.

So, for those who missed it, this past Sunday, North Korea detonated its sixth nuclear bomb. This came hours after a picture of Kim Jong-un was released, where he appeared to be inspecting a hydrogen bomb. Now, this is notable because North Korea is claiming to have a functioning warhead that can fit in a missile. Basically, these muhfuckas might have a reliable nuke now, son! All in all, shit is rapidly getting real and the United States has a tough choice on its hands.

Now, I never thought I’d see the day when I would say this, but I agree with Vladimir Putin, man. Sanctions against North Korea are useless, man. Like, Jong-un and company don’t give a fuck about non-military consequences. For whatever reason, North Korea seems to actually want war, fam. So, the question is, do we give in to conflict? At this point, if we do go to war, it will probably end up being nuclear. In addition, based on the fact that Russia and China also have nukes, we all might be SUPER fucked, bruh!

In the end, shit is getting thick out here, son. Keeping it a buck, I don’t even have any answers, man. All I can say is, I’m DEFINITELY following this situation closely, fam. Ultimately, I don’t expect much from Donald Trump, but he CAN’T fuck this up, people! If he does, we might not be around long enough to fix the problem. By and by, can someone tell Jong-un to chill? Listen, he won’t win this conflict, but the collateral damage just isn’t worth it, bruh. That is all. LC out.

Who’s Ready For Armageddon?

Look, let me get straight to the point, son. Something needs to be done about North Korea, man. All I know is, Kim Jong-un is out here wilin’, fam! On the real, this man seems hell bent on challenging America‘s nuclear capabilities. At this point, I don’t know what to make of this situation, bruh. I don’t know what Jong-un is going to try and I DAMN SURE don’t trust Donald Trump to make the right decision. All in all, if cooler heads don’t prevail, we may legitimately have a war on our hands, people.

Now, where should I start, son? Ok, so, North Korea is upping the ante with their missile tests, man. Apparently, they now have missiles powerful enough to reach American soil. From what I’ve read, there are only two factors preventing Jong-un from having a functioning nuclear weapon: a warhead strong enough to survive the heat of orbit and a reliable guidance system. Originally, American scientists thought North Korea could have a nuke by 2020. Now, they believe that they can achieve this feat by 2018. By and by, shit just got real, fam!

With all of that being said, what does Trump do? Threaten North Korea with “fire and fury.” According to President Orange, his plan is to hit Jong-un with power the likes of which “the world has never seen.” Keep in mind, the United States is the only nation to ever actually use a nuke. So, is Trump openly threatening another country with nuclear war? Bruh, someone come get this man! That can’t possibly be the first option, son. Listen, I’m all about a preemptive strike, but we can’t be out here just trading nukes with muhfuckas, man! Also, based on Jong-un’s “turn the US mainland into the theater of a nuclear war” response, this is exactly what he wants, fam!

In the end, all I want to know is, are there any bunkers in New York? I mean, at the rate this shit is headed, I need to find some shelter for my family, son. In addition, I should probably start stocking up on canned goods, man. Real talk, all of my Hispanic bredren better have that Goya on deck, bruh! Ultimately, it’s going to be a long armageddon, folks. LC out.