Get Ray Lewis The F*ck Outta Here!

Man, I have so many simultaneous thoughts in my head, I don’t even know where to start, son. Look, Ray Lewis needs to shut the fuckity-fuck up, fam! Listen, I’m pretty sure that Colin Kaepernick isn’t looking to him for advice, bruh. In addition, I TRULY don’t like the idea of a Black man telling another Black man to be low key about activism. On the real, that’s just another way of saying “play nice and don’t publicly piss off White people.” All in all, fuck all of that, man!

Now, for anyone who missed it, Lewis took it upon himself to show Kaepernick “the way.” According to Lewis, if Kaepernick wants to find another job in the NFL, he needs to be quieter about social injustice. Apparently, standing up for what’s right pales in comparison to not upsetting the owners. By and by, Kaepernick needs to be a “good boy” if he wants to secure a spot on another team.

Real talk, that seems to be a common theme amongst Kaepernick’s Black detractors. Basically, if he stopped making White people uncomfortable, then they’d let him throw the football around again. I mean, this is the same shit I roasted Michael Vick for. We’re so programmed as a community, that instead of championing Kaepernick for standing up for US, we’d rather tell him to be more presentable to the White majority. *Sigh* As Malcolm X once said, “who taught you to hate yourself?” Clearly, we already know the answer to that, son.

Moving on, outside of the ridiculous message, I also have a problem with the source, son. Keeping it a buck, Lewis is the LAST human being who should be giving ANYONE pointers, man! Lest we forget, his white suit was never found after Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar were stabbed to death. Lest we forget, he snitched on Reginald Oakley and Joseph Sweeting to get his murder charges dismissed. Shit, Kaepernick is being judged for taking a knee during the fucking National Anthem, fam. All I know is, Lewis isn’t some beacon of purity, bruh.

In the end, I’m tired of Black people worrying more about our image than our rights. Instead of addressing the issues that Kaepernick is highlighting, folks would rather tell him to pipe down and just play football. Ultimately, the joke is on us as we continue to be mistreated and killed by systemic violence. Then again, maybe Lewis empathizes because he’s also gotten away with murder. Shit, just some food for thought, people. LC out.

P.S. The entire “shut the fuck up” mantra of this post also applies to Kordell Stewart. Seriously, no one wants this dude’s opinion, fam. On the real, all I want from “Slash” is Porsha Williams‘ phone number. Hook that up, bruh. That is all.

Get Michael Vick The F*ck Outta Here!

Man, let’s just get straight to the point here. Michael Vick is the LAST human being who should be advising Colin Kaepernick on ANYTHING, son. Like, this dude can’t be fucking serious, man! Now, maybe Vick is trying to play nice since a dark cloud has followed his entire NFL career. However; the mere suggestion that a haircut would improve Kaepernick’s standing shows that he’s an unadulterated clown. Fam, someone please get Michael Vick the fuck outta here!

So, the tomfoolery began when Vick appeared on Fox Sports 1‘s Speak for Yourself show. When the discussion turned to how Kaepernick could get another job in the league, Vick said the following:

The first thing we got to get Colin to do is cut his hair. I don’t think he should represent himself in that way in terms of the hairstyle. Just go clean cut. Why not? Perception and image is everything. I love the guy to death, but I want him to succeed in and off the field, and this has to be a start for him.”

Wait, what? Huh? How exactly is he representing himself, Vick? Last time I checked, that’s how hair grows out of a Black person’s scalp. So, is he insinuating that there’s something wrong with the natural state of his hair? Ohhhh, I get it! “Clean cut” is just another way of saying “acceptable for White people.” Yeah, I see what Vick is doing here. Basically, if Kaepernick wants another shot at football, he needs to appease the owners and the coaches. The same individuals who don’t understand his cause in the first place. Shit, fantastic advice, Vick!

To be clear, Kaepernick’s current status isn’t about his ability. Now, is he an elite quarterback? No. But, can someone honestly say that out of the 100+ total QB roles in the league, he can’t lock down ONE roster spot? Man, give me a fucking break, son! This man has played in a Super Bowl, fam! I don’t buy that line of reasoning at all, man.

The fact of the matter is, the powers that be hate what he stands for and don’t want to deal with him. Plain and simple, bruh. Hell, one NFL executive compared Kaepernick to Rae Carruth, a former player who MURDERED A WOMAN! Somehow, kneeling for the National Anthem is equivalent to homicide, man. With that being said, Vick’s comments are completely rooted in racial conditioning. He’s conditioned to think that Black people need to behave in a certain way to be welcomed by White people. By and by, fuck ALL of that, son!

In the end, Michael Vick has some nerve, fam. Frankly, ever since his dog fighting scandal, White people have hated him everywhere he went. Ultimately, the Black community has been the entity who has continued to champion him. In my eyes, he’s spitting in our faces by taking this stance. All in all, I hope he eventually learns the gravity of his fuckery. LC out.

P.S. Kaepernick is righteously petty for tweeting the definition of Stockholm syndrome. In the spirit of Bruce Lee, that’s the art of fighting without fighting. That is all.

I Don’t Feel Sorry For Aaron Hernandez

Ok, based on the title alone, it may seem like I’m being a bit callous about Aaron Hernandez‘s suicide. Listen, that’s not my intention at all. With that being said, it’s hard for me to have empathy for a man like Hernandez. I mean, are we forgetting that he killed someone? Now, while his family may be hurting, I’m sure the family of Odin Lloyd is still hurting too. Ultimately, Hernandez couldn’t face the consequences of his own actions.

So, for those who missed it, Aaron Hernandez, former New England Patriots tight end, hung himself in his prison cell yesterday. This comes only days after he was acquitted for the murders of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado. Now, while he may have dodged a bullet in that particular case, he was still serving life without parole for Lloyd’s murder. I mean, I guess one body is better than three, or something like that.

Look, I need everyone to put this story into perspective. Hernandez didn’t just happen to kill Lloyd by accident. He specifically ran up on Lloyd in an industrial park and shot him to death. I mean, just take one look at the picture above, son. That’s what Hernandez did to that man, fam. To make matters worse, Hernandez brought two guys along with him: Carlos Ortiz and Ernest Wallace. Both of these men ended up being guilty of accessory after the fact. All in all, Hernandez was never the victim here. On the real, this is the bed he made, son.

In the end, let’s stop the sensationalism, man. This dude wasn’t a martyr, son. He was a former NFL star who decided to throw his life away over some bullshit. No one put him in that position but him. For that reason, I don’t feel sorry for Aaron Hernandez. It just is what it is, bruh. LC out.

How The F*ck Did The New England Patriots Win?!?

Man, what the hell did I watch last night? Seriously, how the FUCK did the New England Patriots pull this shit off, son? More importantly, how the FUCK did the Atlanta Falcons lose this Super Bowl?! In my 30-plus years on this planet, I’ve NEVER seen a crazier comeback. All in all, as much as it pains me to say this, Tom Brady is without question the greatest quarterback of all time. In addition, Bill Belichick is absolutely the greatest coach of all time. Now, before I continue vomiting, allow me to try and reconcile what I just witnessed yesterday.

First, let me start with the Falcons. As far as I’m concerned, this team is no longer allowed to have fans. Not even my greatest enemy deserves to be a fan of a team that can blow a 28-3 lead. 28-3? 28 TO FUCKING 3?!? How on God‘s green Earth could this squad fuck up a 98.9% chance of winning?! Before this game, the largest deficit a team ever overcame was 10 points. THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE UP BY 25 POINTS, MAN!! After taking that 28-3 lead, these clowncakes never scored again and lost 34-28. I mean, these losers couldn’t even get a field goal? A fucking safety? Anything?! Man, that’s literally the most insane comeback I’ve ever watched, son. Real talk, to all of my friends and family in Atlanta, the Falcons don’t deserve any fandom from this point forward. They just disrespected the city in the WORST way.

Now, let’s talk about the Patriots. I mean, what can I say here, son? Despite being a diehard New York Giants fan, I have to call a spade a spade, man. Brady and Belichick are the greatest duo in NFL history. Brady now have five rings and Belichick has seven, when including the two rings he won as the Giants’ defensive coordinator. At this point, they have damn near every record imaginable. There’s literally no disputing their greatness, son. Look, I don’t use the term “hater” lightly, but if anyone still has negative things to say about the Patriots, they’re just haters. These dudes have done it all, man. There’s no one else in their league or even close to it.

In the end, there really isn’t much else to say here. The only downside to this victory is the fact that deplorables like Donald Trump and Richard Spencer support the Patriots. It’s literally never cool when White supremacists are onboard the train. In any case, as I’ve previously stated, Tom Brady is indeed the greatest quarterback of all time. However; keep one thing in mind, son. The Patriots’ historic greatness makes Eli Manning and my Giants even more mythical, son. We’re the only team to ever beat him and Belichick. And we did it twice, bitch! I’m perfectly content with my team being the two glorious stains on their record, man. Good day.

P.S. How sick was Roger Goodell yesterday? After the whole Deflategate fiasco, he still had to hand the Vince Lombardi Trophy over to Robert Kraft and company. On the real, I’m no fan of the Patriots, but I’m even less of a fan of Goodell. With that being said, it was great watching him being forced to swallow his shallow pride. LC out.

Go Away, Lena Dunham

So, I plan on keeping this post short today, but I just need to make one thing clear: Lena Dunham needs to go away. Far, far, faaaaaar away. At this point, what is her point? What is her purpose? What is she aiming to accomplish with all of the idiotic things she says? For someone who claims to be a champion of women’s rights, Dunham spends a large part of her life spewing unwarranted nonsense. Now, I could take some time and go through her laundry list of tomfoolery, but I’d rather speak about two of her most recent incidents. After this, maybe she can finally disappear into an abyss and never be heard from again.

Now, let’s start with her debacle with Odell Beckham, Jr. As of now, I’m sure a lot of people have heard about her make-believe encounter with the New York Giants star. During the Met Gala earlier this year, Dunham happened to be sitting next to Beckham. While recounting her “experience” during a conversation with Amy Schumer, Dunham went on some ridiculous tirade about how Beckham didn’t speak to her because she wasn’t shaped like the women he normally deals with. She essentially body-shamed herself and made it seem as if Beckham was the one being sexist. She called herself a “marshmallow,” a “child” and a “dog” in an effort to present Beckham as some heartless misogynist who only values a woman’s body. Somehow, Dunham turned a non-situation into an ordeal which erroneously painted her as a victim. For me, I could care less about the fact she apologized. This story should’ve never been told in the first place. It didn’t add ANY value to the REAL movement feminists are fighting for.

Moving on, just the other day, Dunham did the damn most YET AGAIN! This time, her foolishness awakened while reminiscing about a conversation she had with a young girl outside of a Planned Parenthood in Texas. The girl was asking different women to share their stories of abortion. Now, despite the fact Dunham never had an abortion, she apparently didn’t want to be left out of the struggle. Instead of just leaving well enough alone, Dunham stated on a podcast that even though she’s never had an abortion, she wished she had. What? Wait, what?! Did she just speak about abortion like it’s the latest dance craze? Is this woman fucking serious? There is absolutely NOTHING lighthearted about abortion! While I’m a firm believer in a woman’s right to choose, that doesn’t make the decision any less difficult for them. It’s never an easy choice to forgo a pregnancy and her ability to speak about this topic so nonchalantly shows how dense she really is. How can a woman “fight” for women’s rights but be so insensitive to an action that can be profoundly impactful? Man, get this clown the fuck outta here, son!

In the end, I’m mad at myself for even writing this post, man. I really don’t believe this woman is worth any of our time. Hopefully, when Girls is finished on HBO, the ground will open up and swallow her whole. She doesn’t deserve to walk among us. Good day.

Get Jim Brown The F*ck Outta Here!

Nah, man. No way, son. Absolutely not, kid. Please tell me there’s no way Jim Brown turned on us in this manner! Is this man, a former civil rights activist, really out here caping for Donald Trump right now? I swear, the last two years have exposed two types of people to me: racists and sellouts. I never thought I’d see the day where I could add Brown to the list of sellouts. Now, I was originally going to roast Kanye West AGAIN for the fuckity-fuck shit he pulled at Trump Tower yesterday. However; after seeing a legend like Brown completely play himself, I’ve decided to point my cannons in his direction.

Now, where do I even start with this bullshit, man? Ok, so, Brown also decided to head to Trump Tower on Tuesday to meet with the President-elect. According to Brown, he was there to discuss issues facing the African-American community. In my eyes, it would be one thing if Brown used that opportunity to hold Trump accountable for the damaging things he’s said about minorities, women and Muslims. Instead, this fallen hero left the meeting speaking about how he “fell in love” with Trump and how Trump has his admiration. Adding insult to injury, Brown spoke about how the “three greatest people” in his life were all White and how his work doesn’t focus on race. On the real, it was hard for me to make it through Brown’s statements because they are in DIRECT conflict with everything he’s previously fought for. I literally don’t know who this man is, son.

*Sigh* I don’t even know what else to say here, man. I’m literally bursting at the seams with anger. How can a man who’s spent a large part of his life fighting for Black people champion a man who’s disrespected so many disenfranchised individuals? Why do all of Trump’s proponents just dismiss all of the hurtful rhetoric he’s spewed over the course of this presidential election? How many times do I have to bring up the mind-bogglingly disrespectful things he’s said about Hispanics, women, Muslims and Black people? Were all of Trump’s fans living under a rock when he waged a verbal war on damn near everyone who wasn’t a White male? How DARE Brown pretend as if Trump’s remarks don’t matter and still front like he’s acting on behalf of Black people! Nah, naaaaah, son! Jim Brown absolutely does NOT speak for me, bro! Get him the flying fuck outta here!

In the end, fuck this, son. That’s it. I’m done. This might be the last thing I write for the year. I can’t take this nonsense anymore. I’m out.

P.S. This clown Brown also had the audacity to talk about what Trump “went through” to become president. What did he go through, Jim? He wrapped himself in the veil of bigotry and all of his fellow bigots came out to support him. In my eyes, he ran the race wearing a security blanket. Once again, thanks a lot, America.

I’m Done With Kanye West

That’s it. I’m done, man. I’m over Kanye West and his constant brand of bullshit. As a DIEHARD fan, I’ve tried and tried and tried to look past his frequent barrage of nonsense. However; enough is enough, son! During his ten millionth rant last night in San Jose, Kanye told concertgoers that not only did he forgo voting, but if he did, he would’ve voted for Donald Trump. All I know is, for me, the artist I’ve supported all of these years is officially gone. Get this man the fuck outta here, son!

*Sigh* Where do I even start, man? So, during his recent concert, Kanye went on one of his customary rants and spoke about the recent presidential election. First, he emphasized the fact he didn’t vote. This is problem number one. For a man who once rhymed that his mother was arrested for a sit-in “at the tender age of six,” his decision to eschew voting is an absolute slap in her face. Side note, Rest In Peace to Donda West.

Now, the same man who spent countless songs on The College Dropout and Late Registration addressing systemic issues decided to avoid using his voice for something other than promoting clothes with holes in them. Honestly, it’s fucking disgusting, man. In my eyes, I don’t want to hear anyone talk about solving societal ills if they don’t engage with the individuals who govern our cities and states. That same message applies to Colin Kaepernick and his non-voting ass too!

Moving on, just when we thought that hot take was the extent of his fuckery, he then chose to offer up praise to our orange-faced President-elect. According to Kanye, he admires Trump’s “non-political” way of speaking and considers it a “futuristic” form of communication. In addition, he talked about how people just assumed he was a Democrat and how his friends advised him not to mention the fact he loved Trump’s “approach” to the debates.

Gosh, Kanye, what’s wrong with us, huh? Of COURSE a man who once proclaimed that George W. Bush didn’t care about Black people would embrace a man who’s shitted on us, Hispanics, Muslims, women and disabled people. Of COURSE a man who wrote songs like “All Falls Down” and “Crack Music” would openly support a divisive human being who used his hometown of Chicago as an example of why we need more “law and order.” We must be the crazy ones, right?

I mean, is this clown fucking serious, man?! Has he been a Kardashian for that long now? Has he forgotten that even if he’s in a Benz, he’s still a “nigga in a coupe”? Who the fuck is this man now?! I no longer see ANY shades of the dude who was once a champion of the people. I guess he’s too rich now to remember where he came from. That’s fine, because White America can have him now. I completely wash my hands of his persistent coonery.

In the end, I’m over all of the fuck shit, man. All of it! I have nothing else to say today. Fuck Kanye West, son! Fuck ’em! Good day.