No More Chances For Jon Jones

So, let me keep it a buck, son. Honestly, I don’t know enough about this situation to make a judgement, man. I mean, Jon Jones could be up to his usual shenanigans or he might be innocent. Frankly, I don’t know, fam. All I can say is, if Jones is guilty of the latest charge against him, then that better be it, bruh. Like, how many chances can one man get, folks? Seriously, if he committed this offense, Jones needs to finally be shunned, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Jones might be in trouble again, son. Now, apparently, Jones was in some New Mexico strip club back in April. Anyway, a waitress alleged that he pulled her down to his lap, kissed her neck, put her in a chokehold and lifted her off of the ground. From there, she stated that he continued to inappropriately touch her until he decided to leave the club. Moving on, I have no insight into whether this incident actually happened. All I know is, this dude just can’t seem to stay out of shit, man.

Now, let’s be real, fam. Shit, Jones has a loooooong history of doing the wrong thing, bruh. Outside of the numerous failed PED tests and hitting a pregnant woman with his car, Jones also has a documented past with illegal narcotics, son. The point is, a story like this isn’t that far-fetched, man. The truth is, that’s the fucking problem, folks. Frankly, Jones has done so much fuckity-fuck shit, that a situation like this is believable, people. The way I see it, if this woman’s story has merit, then the UFC and the MMA community needs to finally wash their hands of this dude.

In the end, there are certain facts in life, son: water is wet, the sky is blue, Jon Jones is the G.O.A.T. and he stays in some bullshit. Ultimately, I hope this story isn’t true, man, and not because of the fact that I was a fan of this guy. By and by, women don’t deserve to be violated, fam. At the end of the day, Jones needs to stay clear of any place or situation that could get him in trouble, bruh. Hell, hasn’t he done enough tomfoolery already, brethren? That is all. LC out.

Gary Johnson Is A Joke… Not The Funny Kind

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit, I haven’t given much thought to any of the presidential candidates not named Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. This is mainly because I don’t see how an outside force can overcome the current Democrat/Republican two-party system. Granted, I do understand the rationale that if enough people voted for an outsider, they could shake up the program. However; I’ve yet to see a candidate that could galvanize me enough to go against the grain. With that being said, Gary Johnson is doing a TERRIBLE job of convincing me otherwise. Within one month, he’s said two of the stupidest things I’ve heard on the campaign trail. So, it’s my job to make fun of him. Let’s do this!

Now, for those who are unaware, Johnson is the presidential candidate for the Libertarian Party. In addition, he’s the former Governor of New Mexico. Despite being a third wheel to the two-party system, Johnson has actually been doing well in the polls. However; I’m positive that’s about to change once people get a wind of the fuckity-fuck shit he’s been saying.

First, there’s Aleppo. During the second week of September, during an interview with MSNBC, Johnson was asked about the civil war in Syria. More specifically, he was asked about what he would do regarding the conflict that’s currently tearing apart the city of Aleppo. Now, instead of providing a solution, Johnson actually mouthed the words “what is Aleppo?” Bruh, seriously? Seriously?! This man is running to be president of the United States and he’s unaware of a war that’s been waging in the Middle East for at least the last five years? Man, shit like that should automatically disqualify any candidate. Then again, Donald Trump is in this race, so what the hell do I know?

Next, just yesterday, Johnson made another baffling faux pas. Back on MSNBC, host Chris Matthews asked Johnson to name his favorite foreign leader. After stalling for a period of time, Matthews asked him to just mention anyone. Once again, instead of at least acting like he knew what he was talking about, Johnson said “I guess I’m having an Aleppo moment.” Is this dude fucking serious? Not only did he whiff on a question he should’ve been able to answer, he went and referenced ANOTHER whiff that made him look stupid before. Honestly, is anyone out there actually voting for this guy? If so, can I buy some weed from whoever is supplying y’all? It must be some good ass weed, son.

In the end, I don’t think there’s anything else to say. Gary Johnson is an idiot. Plain and simple, son. Once again, this is just further proof that this election is the worst in American history. I swear, we’re fucked as a people, man. Fucking fucked! Good day.