Whose Mans Is Chet Hanks?

So, before I even begin this post, I’d like to give everyone some background on my upbringing. Now, I’m a first-generation American whose mother was born in Barbados and whose father was born in St. Vincent. Furthermore, I have extended family members from Jamaica, Trinidad, Grenada, Antigua, you name it. In addition, I’m married to a woman whose entire family is from Nevis. Meaning, I’m as Caribbean as they come, son. With all of that being said, what in the entire fuck was Chet Hanks doing at the Golden Globes, fam?

Ok, for those who missed it, Chet’s father, the incomparable Tom Hanks, was being presented a lifetime achievement award at this year’s Golden Globes. Needless to say, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Chet was there. However, his appearance on the red carpet was thoroughly baffling, man. I mean, out of fucking nowhere, dude decided to talk to the press in a patois accent straight out of the 99 Cent Store. Bruh, what “island massive” was Chet referring to? The fucking bar staff at a Sandals resort? For the love of God, why is Chet always doing some fuckity-fuck shit, son?

To be clear, this is not the first time that Chet has engaged in nonsensical shenanigans. Shit, just a few years ago, he was a rapper who looooved saying the word “nigga.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s the new fucking Collie Buddz? Side note, that ain’t a knock against Collie Buddz, man. On the real, I’m a big fan of that dude, folks. In any case, this culture vulture shit needs to stop, fam. Hell, he’s the son of a cotdamn legend, people. Real talk, he doesn’t have to always partake in the fuckery, brethren.

In the end, I have nothing else to say, bruh. Ultimately, I want everyone to watch the video for themselves. By and by, after getting past the fact that the video is hilarious, we need to pack Chet Hanks in a box somewhere. At the end of the day, he’s a habitual line-stepper who has to be defeated, son. At this point, I’m pretty sure that Tom would rather rock out with Wilson than Chet, man. That is all. LC out.

My Long Overdue Wedding

So, my voyage to marriage has been a random one, son. I mean, technically, I’ve been married for over a year, man. However; my wife and I just had our official wedding less than a week ago. All I know is, as unpredictable as my love life has been, everything has ultimately worked out for the best.

Ok, before I talk about the actual wedding, allow me to tell a quick story. Essentially, I’ve done this entire adult thing backwards, fam. Now, let’s see if folks can follow my fuzzy math, bruh. So, I have a 7-year-old son, a 4-year-old son, I’ve been married for over a year and I just had a wedding over the weekend. Confused yet? Ok, good. Anyway, I swear my entire journey to marriage has been some “Opposite Day” shit, son. Listen, I started with the kids and ended with the vows. But, regardless of how long it took, I’m just happy that my wife finally got the wedding that she deserved, man.

Now, when it comes to the ceremony itself, let’s just say it took A LOT of hard work, and money, fam. With that being said, I’d like to give our wedding planner, Fallon Carter, a HUGE shout-out, bruh! Hell, putting together a destination wedding is some wild shit, son. In addition, making sure all of our guests actually made it to Saint Kitts and Nevis is even wilder, man. All I know is, folks haven’t lived until they need to take a high-speed boat across the ocean in the dead of night (word to Tony). All in all, I can’t thank our friends and family enough for making this trip, people.

Anyway, when it came to the big day, I must say that everything went according to plan. Now, outside of the fact that I almost put our dance floor builder on the torture rack, the day was perfect, fam. First, my wife and I said our vows in between an assortment of palm trees. Next, we had our reception on the beach with tables, chairs, a dance floor and a tiki bar set up on the sand. Listen, the whole shit was swag personified, bruh. On top of that, we had 45 of our closest family members and friends help us celebrate. Look, I put up a good front, but the whole shit was emotional for me, son. Shit, I really couldn’t have asked for more, man.

In the end, I’m pissed as hell that I’m back in New York right now, fam. Ultimately, peacoats aren’t the wave when I was just sitting by the ocean drinking rum punch, bruh. Side note, my boy BK is banned from drinking anymore Killer Bee‘s, folks. Yeah, he knows why. In any case, although it took forever, my wife and I finally commemorated our union in the correct way. At the end of the day, everything happens in the right time, son. By and by, I love you, Triciah Charles. That is all. LC out.