Donald Cerrone Can’t Win The Big Fight

So, before I even begin, let me say that I’m a big Donald Cerrone fan. Now, I feel compelled to say that because the rest of this post is going to be rough on him, son. In any case, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t objective, man. With that being said, it’s time to call a spade a spade, fam. The fact of the matter is, Cerrone just can’t seem to win the big fight, bruh.

Ok, for those who are living under a rock, Cerrone just fought Conor McGregor at UFC 246. Now, as I stated in a previous post, this was a huge fight, son. I mean, we have the return of McGregor and a big payday for Cerrone, the guy who holds most of the UFC‘s records. Anyway, I expected McGregor to win, but not like this, man. Like, Cerrone got absolutely ANNIHILATED, fam. For God‘s sake, the fight was over before it even started, bruh.

Look, we’re talking about 40 seconds, son. Real talk, 40 seconds is all it took for McGregor to beat the brakes off of Cerrone, man. Shit, after missing his opening haymaker, McGregor hit Cerrone with four-straight shoulder strikes to the face, then a head-kick and ended with punches on the ground. Listen, losing always sucks, but it’s gotta be especially trash to lose like this, fam. Hell, Cerrone went through an entire training camp, just to get finished before the one-minute mark. All I know is, that’s fucking tough, bruh.

But, as much as this hurts to say, I wasn’t really surprised, son. The fact is, Cerrone has never performed well in these big moments. Listen, during his career, Cerrone has gotten four chances at a world title (one with the UFC and three with the WEC). Frankly, he’s come up short every time, man. On the real, there are some fights were Cerrone looked fucking invincible. However, when the stakes reach their highest point, he doesn’t seem to perform the way I believe he’s able to. Fast forward to now and the same shit happened with McGregor. Yes, this wasn’t a title fight, but it was without question the biggest match of his career. Sadly, he couldn’t get it done, fam.

In the end, I don’t want this to seem like I’m just shitting on Cerrone, bruh. Ultimately, I really am a fan of his, son. By and by, I just wish his skills translated when the lights are the brightest, man. Then again, I’ll be right back when he fights again, fam. At the end of the day, I just hoped this would’ve been a better bout, bruh. That is all. LC out.

The Government Is Gonna Bust A Cap In Everyone At Area 51

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, a part of me wants to be down with the Area 51 shenanigans. But, there’s nooooo way the government is going to allow a bunch of random hooligans on that land, man. I mean, I know we’re all joking here, but I’m sure there are folks who are really willing to test fate, fam. All I know is, the authorities would not hesitate to bust a cap in anyone who tries to infiltrate Area 51.

Ok, for those who missed it, there’s a Facebook event that’s got everyone’s attention. Now, as of today, 1.2 million people have joined the “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” group. Moving on, as I’m sure folks can deduce, the goal of this group is to run up in Lincoln County, Nevada and “see them aliens.” Anyway, all of the tomfoolery is supposed to take place on September 20th from 3 AM to 6 AM.

Now, this shit is hilarious for a few reasons, bruh. First, it addresses a topic that a lot of people, myself included, are interested in. Real talk, I want to know what’s going on in that place, son. Shit, I’m a conspiracy theorist at heart and I would LOVE to get a glimpse of all of the top secret shit happening behind those walls. However, I’m also aware of the lengths that the United States government would go to prevent any such chaos, man. Hell, just take a look at the Air Force‘s rebuttal to this situation, fam.

Listen, in response to the proposed raid, Laura McAndrews, a spokeswoman for the Air Force, released the following statement: “Area 51 is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces. The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.” Bruh, that literally has to be the most eloquent way of saying “if you come near this bitch, we’re putting holes in all of you motherfuckers.” Look, I can read between the lines, son.

In the end, I have some advice for the folks out there: keep y’all asses away from Area 51. Ultimately, I want to know what’s popping off in there too. However, I’m not trying to test the machinery of the U.S. military, man. By and by, shit sounds good on paper until we’re all looking down the barrel of a gun made with alien technology. At the end of the day, I’m just gonna keep my Black ass in the crib, fam. That is all. LC out.

Eminem Ethered Donald Trump

So, to be clear, I’m not going to spend any time talking about how legendary Eminem is, son. At this point, if someone out there doesn’t know that Em is a Top 3 rapper of all time, then I can’t help that person, man. With that being said, I’m always hyped when he wakes up from hibernation, fam. These days, if he’s dropping any bars, then he usually has something to say. All in all, that’s exactly what happened during last night’s BET Hip Hop Awards. The Detroit luminary decided to hit the cyphers and completely obliterated Donald Trump.

Now, I won’t lie, bruh. I’m not going to sit here and dissect everything Em said. Frankly, it would be easier for everyone to just listen to the verse for themselves. In any case, the freestyle is called “The Storm” and Em went hamburger batshit crazy on y’alls president. Essentially, he touched on damn near every bit of fuckery of Trump’s campaign and presidency. Ultimately, I’ll just let Em speak for himself, son. By and by, folks can watch the video ether below. Viva la Eminem! LC out.

A Letter To Stephen Paddock

Dear Stephen Paddock,

Fuck you from the deepest depths of my soul and spirit. Frankly, it takes a real piece of shit to callously strip so many people of their tomorrow. I mean, the numbers are unbelievable, you fucking coward! How on EARTH could you kill 59 people and leave another 500+ injured?! Why would you ever think it was ok to slay so many individuals?! By and by, no matter what picture anyone tries to paint, you are nothing more than a grotesque terrorist.

To be real, I don’t know much about you, man. In any case, I don’t really care to know anything about you. Keeping it a buck, I don’t give a fuck about your history, temperament or motive. All I know is, there is NOTHING that could ever justify the carnage you inflicted on so many innocent people! Now, ISIS may be trying to lay claim to your rampage, but I’m going to take that with a HUGE grain of salt, son. All in all, I just think you’re a deviant who murdered helpless folks with no rhyme or reason.

The sad part is, despite the fact that you’re responsible for the worst mass shooting in modern American history, gun control will never be achieved. Despite the fact that authorities found 18 rifles in your hotel room, gun reform will never come down the pike. Real talk, if the Sandy Hook massacre couldn’t get our elected officials to act right, then this won’t even get them to blink. So, situations like this will just keep on happening. In addition, people like you will keep on being a danger to our society.

In the end, only a bitch like you would take their own life after creating such havoc. You knew you couldn’t face the consequences of your actions and took the cheap way out. *Sigh* Being real, I’m WAY more afraid of terrorists like you than any of the make-believe boogeymen our politicians try to convince of. Ultimately, even as the country grieves, nothing is being done to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. So, there’s always potential for more sickos like you. Shit, all I can do is shake my head, man. That is all.

Sincerely,

A man who truly hopes there’s an afterlife so you can suffer for eternity