Go Listen To ‘The Receding Hairlines Podcast’

So, I’m going to keep this super short today, son. All folks need to know is, my dude Fabo has a podcast, man. That’s right, fam, alongside Sarge and Hutch, they collectively host The Receding Hairlines Podcast. Side note, I’ve been making fun of Fabo’s hairline for damn near 20 years. With that being said, I get a MAJOR kick out of the name of this podcast, bruh. Another side note, as a bald dude, I’m a huge hypocrite for making fun of anyone’s hairline. In any case, the podcast has a lot of sports debate, with a variety of real-life shenanigans thrown in for good measure. All in all, everybody needs to do the right thing and ride the wave. Anyway, the podcast can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher or anywhere else people listen to podcasts. Now, what else is there to say, brethren? Go listen to the cotdamn podcast! That is all. LC out.

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Why I Don’t Do NCAA Brackets

So, it finally happened, huh? A 16-seed finally beat a 1-seed, huh? I mean, based on probability, it was bound to happen eventually, son. However; I never expected a 1-seed to get blown out, man. To make matters worse, the Virginia Cavaliers weren’t just a 1-seed in the NCAA Tournament, fam. They were the number-one overall team in the country, bruh. All in all, that makes their lose to the University of Maryland, Baltimore County that much worse, folks. Keeping it a buck, this is EXACTLY why I don’t do brackets, people.

Ok, for those who are unaware, March Madness is in full swing. Frankly, if anybody doesn’t know that, I’m assuming that something is wrong with them, son. In any case, the Cavaliers were the popular pick to win this year’s title. Now, despite the fact that they’ve been hit-or-miss in the tourney over recent years, people figured that they’d finally get it together. Well, apparently, the UMBC Retrievers didn’t get the memo, man. Shit, after the dust settled, they beat the best team in the country by twenty points. On the real, after watching the game, I can’t even say it was a fluke, fam. Shit, they legitimately had a good game plan against the Cavaliers.

Moving on, this post isn’t necessarily about Virginia. It’s more so about the fact that March Madness is so chaotic, there’s no way my frugal ass could risk losing money on a bracket. Bruh, only a smaaaaaall percentage of us actually know what the fuck we’re doing, son. In spite of that, NO ONE got shit right this time around, man. All I know is, I’m not about to put my hard-earned cash on the line and leave it in the hands of underage drinkers. Hell, I know how foolish I was in college, so I already know there’s no rhyme or reason to how this tournament is going to go, fam.

In the end, my condolences to everyone who put all of their bread on Virginia. Listen, I would say my heart goes out, but my bank account is looking fine. Next time, maybe people would know better than to lose their savings on a hectic brand of basketball. Ultimately, college ball is the least predictable shit on the planet, bruh. By and by, don’t let the brokeness prevail. LC out.

Stop Talking, LaVar Ball

So, ever since the media put a microphone in front of LaVar Ball, he’s been nothing but a hot take machine. At this point, he’s made it a habit of saying something outlandish every single day. All I know is, he needs to shut the fuck up now. Look, I know the man loves his sons Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo. However; if he doesn’t slow the fuck down, he’s going to doom those dudes before their careers even get started.

Now, before I continue, let me be clear on one thing. I’m not downing this man for believing in his children. Shit, I have two sons and I think the world of them too. I legitimately believe they can do anything and I actively try to instill that ideology in them. But, when it comes to LaVar, my issue is his own personal ego. The more he speaks to the media, the more it seems like he wants the attention for himself and not for his sons.

For example, just take a look at his comments about Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley. First, he claimed that he would “kill” MJ one-on-one. Now, this statement came from a man who averaged 2.2 points per game while playing Division II basketball. Bruh, I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t do shit against a former NCAA champion and former National Player of the Year. I mean, Jordan was a legend before he played an NBA game, son. Ball needs to sit the fuck down here.

Next, Ball stated that if Barkley thought like him, then maybe he would’ve won a championship. Once again, I point to the fact that homie was a highly subpar college player. What the fuck can Ball teach an all-time top 5 power forward about winning? Homie couldn’t even make it to a Division I school. Man, if this dude doesn’t get the fuckity-fuck outta here with the tomfoolery!

Moving on, pay attention to the fact that Ball’s sons weren’t the topic of conversation in any of those last two paragraphs. That’s my point, son. If Ball wants to hype his children up, then by all means, go right ahead. However; when Ball himself is the storyline, he’s doing his boys a disservice. Look, just calm the fuck down and let those dudes play basketball, man. Oh, and fix LaMelo’s shot, bruh. Keeping it a buck, he ain’t Lonzo, man. I’ve already written about the fact that I’m not the biggest fan of Melo’s game. But, that’s neither here nor there.

In the end, LaVar Ball just needs to be cool. Let his sons prove their worth on the court. Until then, his words don’t fucking matter. Lonzo can prove whether or not he’s better than Stephen Curry and LeBron James when he plays against them. However; after LeBron’s latest reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a chase-down block waiting for Lonzo. LC out.