Randi B. & LC: RNC, NBA Boycott & Kyle Rittenhouse

What’s good, brethren? On this episode, Randi B. and I were back on Facebook Live talking about the Republican National Convention, the NBA boycott and Kyle Rittenhouse. It evolved into a conversation that included Nikki Haley, Daniel Cameron, Jacob Blake, the new March on Washington and DNA testing. Check it out on YouTube below. Let’s go!

Mike Tyson & Roy Jones Jr. Need To Relax

So, here we are, son. After 15 years and a barrage of impressive training videos, Mike Tyson is returning to boxing. Not only that, he’s about to get it cracking against Roy Jones Jr. Now, before anyone gives me the side-eye, yes, this story is real, and no, this isn’t 1995. All I can say is, as much as I fucks with the both of them, they need to sit their asses down, man. On the real, they need to just enjoy being legends and leave the fighting to the young cats.

Ok, for those who missed it, an exhibition match between Tyson and Jones is about to go down. Now, according to reports, the two men will go at it for eight rounds on September 12th in Carson, California. In addition, on the undercard, former NBA player Nate Robinson is set to fight YouTube dude Jake Paul. All in all, I don’t know what the fuck is going on out here, fam? I mean, on the same night, we have a 54-year-old battling a 51-year-old and a basketball player squabbling with a vlogger. *Sigh* 2020 is so fucking weird, bruh.

Look, I have all of the respect in the world for Tyson and Jones, son. Like, they’re literally my two favorite boxers, man. However, this fight just doesn’t need to happen, fam. Ok, yes, Tyson has been looking otherworldly in his Instagram training videos, but there’s a reason he stepped away from the sport, bruh. Shit, I think it’s safe to say that they’re both past their primes, people. So, I don’t want to see either of them get hurt, brethren. In my eyes, none of this shit is remotely worth it.

In the end, I’m all for Tyson/Jones staying in shape and getting the blood pumping. But, boxing is an unforgiving sport, son. Ultimately, the phrase “you don’t play boxing” is accurate as fuck, man. By and by, I would’ve been HYPED for this shit in the mid-90s. However, the time has passed and the greats just need to let their legacies speak for themselves. That is all. LC out.

Jordan Fans Pretend Like Detroit Never Existed

So, before I begin, let me say that I anticipate some hate coming my way. However, I pride myself on being objective, son. In any case, while I still believe that Michael Jordan is the best basketball player of all time, his legend has taken on an unrealistic sheen. I mean, anytime there’s a debate between him and LeBron James, people bring up James’ failures. But, they never do the same for Jordan. The fact of the matter is, Jordan’s career wasn’t as perfect as folks like to pretend. All in all, the Detroit Pistons can attest to that.

Ok, let’s get straight to the shits, man. Look, anytime someone wants to disparage James, they bring up his 3-6 NBA Finals record. Or, they’ll say something like “Jordan would never get swept in the Finals.” Frankly, they pretend like the playoffs begin and end in the Finals. Now, Jordan may have been perfect in the Finals, but it took him a long ass time to get there. In fact, at one point in time, there was a narrative that a scoring champion like him couldn’t get it done. Shit, most of that narrative was due to the fact that the Pistons beat his ass every single year. Side bar, that team actually swept him before, too. The way I see it, no one should bring up James and the Golden State Warriors but neglect Jordan and the Pistons.

Fam, before Jordan won his first title in 1991, he lost to the Pistons three years in a row. Let me say that again: Michael Jordan lost to the same Detroit Pistons team THREE YEARS IN A ROW! Hell, imagine if that shit happened in the social media era. Jordan would have to deal with a lot more than just the “Crying Face” meme. Now, none of that takes away from his greatness or everything that he was able to accomplish. But, Jordan stans act like that shit never happened, bruh. Hell, they pretend like he was just a model of perfection and forget about the years that he struggled. The truth is, those struggles are what pushed him to be better. So, getting smacked around by the Pistons elevated his game, son.

In the end, I’m not here to restart the Jordan vs. James debate. Ultimately, I still think that Jordan is the G.O.A.T. But, I’m glad that The Last Dance talked about those years. By and by, acknowledging that a legend has faults doesn’t make them any less of a legend. At the end of the day, the same goes for LeBron James. So, instead of acting like a bunch of bitches, why don’t we appreciate all of the awesome shit that we’ve seen these players do. Ok? Great. That is all. LC out.

Scottie Pippen Got Royally Screwed

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, the basketball fan in me is ECSTATIC that The Last Dance is finally airing on ESPN. I mean, as a lifelong New York Knicks fan, I have a weird relationship with Michael Jordan‘s legacy. On one hand, he’s my favorite player ever. On the other hand, he’s almost solely responsible for my childhood anguish. Like, he broke my team’s heart EVERY FUCKING SEASON! In any case, the first two episodes of the documentary shine a light on another important topic: Scottie Pippen getting royally fucked by Chicago Bulls management.

Ok, before I continue, let me say that Pippen deserves some of the blame here. Now, apparently, everyone told him not to sign that 7-year/$18 million deal. Everyone told him that Jerry Krause, the general manager of the Bulls, wouldn’t renegotiate his contract later. So, with all of that being said, Pippen shot himself in the foot with that deal. However, Krause and company are still assholes for not upping Pippen’s cut, man. At a certain point, the sum they were paying him was fucking disrespectful, fam.

Look, by the time the 1997-98 season came around, Pippen was the 122nd highest-paid player in the NBA. In addition, he was 6th highest-paid player on the Bulls. Keep in mind, he was either 2nd or 1st in every statistical category for that team. Despite all of that, he was getting paid less than Jordan, Toni Kukoč, Ron Harper, Dennis Rodman AND Luc Longley. Now, MJ, I get it. The rest of them muhfuckas, hell nah, son. All I can say is, I completely understand why Pippen wasn’t so hyped to get back with the team, man. Hell, I wouldn’t break my back either for a squad that didn’t value me.

In the end, I can’t fucking wait to watch the rest of this documentary, fam. Ultimately, this is the era that I came up in. By and by, I want to see how real ESPN is going to keep it. Are they really going to talk about Jordan’s gambling? Are they going to show him punching Steve Kerr in the face? Either way, I’m ready to go, fam. All in all, I just fucking love basketball, bruh. That is all. LC out.

This Year’s NBA All-Star Game Was Amazing

So, let’s just get straight to the point, son. On the real, this year’s NBA All-Star Game was fucking amazing, man! All I can say is, whoever suggested the game’s new format needs a cotdamn raise, fam. The way I see it, shit can never go back to the way it was, bruh. Real talk, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen the game this competitive. In any case, I’m here for all of it, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Sunday‘s All-Star Game was fire, son. So, the teams were broken up between captains LeBron James and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Anyway, according to the new rules, after each quarter, depending on which team had the most points that quarter, $100,000 would be donated to their respective charities. All the while, a running total would be kept for both squads. Now, depending on which team had the most points after three quarters, 24 points would be added to that score, in honor of Kobe Bryant. From there, in the fourth quarter, both teams would have to play to that final number. The first team to reach that designated score wins. Moving on, in the case of Sunday’s game, each team was trying to get to 157 points.

Now, since both teams were playing to a finite number, the intensity of that fourth quarter was crazy, man! Shit, Giannis was trying to kill LeBron, Kawhi Leonard was hitting every shot in sight and Kyle Lowry was out here taking copious amounts of charges. Side bar, Lowry is absolutely the reason why Team Giannis lost that game. Fam, why the fuck would he pull Anthony Davis down in the final seconds? Like, he single-handedly gave Team LeBron the win, bruh. Way to go, Lowry!

In the end, Kawhi walked away with the first Kobe Bryant MVP Award. Ultimately, given their relationship, it was a fitting way for the game to end, son. By and by, I really hope every year is like this, man. At the end of the day, it’s exciting as shit when the best players in the world are actually trying, fam. Frankly, injuries are the only thing we have to worry about, bruh. Hell, it would suck for a superstar to get hurt in this shit, people. Regardless, shout-out to Adam Silver, Chris Paul and everyone else who was involved in making this game entertaining. All in all, I’ll be right back here next year, folks. That is all. LC out.

P.S. Ice Cube has a right to be tight, son. Keeping it a buck, no one can tell me that the NBA wasn’t paying attention to the BIG3‘s format, man. But, it made for some exciting ass basketball, fam. Good day.

Conversations With Randi B.: Impeachment, Gayle King & Bobby Love

What’s good, brethren? On this episode of Conversations with Randi B., Randi and I talk about Donald Trump‘s impeachment, Gayle King‘s questions to Lisa Leslie about Kobe Bryant and the Bobby Love story on Humans of New York. Check it out on Spotify below, fam. Let’s go!

A Letter To Ari Shaffir

Dear Ari Shaffir,

So, instead of just flying off of the handle from the rip, I want to actually get a sense of what’s going on in your head. Like, I’ll never understand why some people think it’s cool to joke about death. With that being said, I’m honestly not here to talk to you about your feelings regarding Kobe Bryant. Instead, I genuinely want to know if you have a soul at all. The way I see it, no “joke” is worth coming off as a subhuman piece of sewer shit.

Ok, to be fair, you’ve been talking shit about Bryant for years. Frankly, ever since his rape charges were dropped, you’ve been VERY vocal about how you believe he got away with a crime. Now, even though you’re clearly not a fan of the man, I was still taken aback by the fuckery you spewed on Twitter and Instagram. Son, you were literally celebrating the fact that Bryant died. Apparently, his death is a “good story” and you shouted out the “hero who forgot to gas up his chopper.” Furthermore, for some reason, you thought it was appropriate to profess your hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Now, keeping it a buck, I don’t even know where to begin, man. Look, as I said above, you can feel however you want to feel about Kobe Bryant. But, you fuck-face, eight other people died on that damn helicopter! Did you hate Gianna Bryant too? Did you also hate Christina Mauser? Did you hate Ara Zobayan, the Altobelli and Chester families as well? Is your hatred of one man so strong that you’re content with the demise of several teenagers and their parents? Good fucking Lord, you’re literally one of the worst fucking people I’ve ever witnessed in my life, bruh. All in all, if you think that Bryant’s death was karma, just wait until that shit comes back on you, dumbass. All I know is, I’d bet money that almost no one will cry for you.

In the end, good luck with those “jokes,” son. Ultimately, being an asshole has brought you greater visibility than any of your comedy routines, man. By and by, I hope you run into any of the family members from the people you’ve disrespected. All I can say is, sometimes street justice is the best form of justice, bruh. At the end of the day, I’m not telling you to care about Kobe Bryant. But, if other innocent lives don’t matter to you, then who’s the REAL evil person here? That is all.

Sincerely,

A dude who only knows that you exist because of Joe Rogan

RIP Kobe Bryant

Listen, let’s just skip the bullshit, son. On the real, I’m at a fucking loss for words right now, man. I mean, this story can’t be real, right? Like, are folks really trying to tell me that Kobe Bryant is dead? Fam, that doesn’t even make any fucking sense, bruh. All in all, I don’t know what else to say besides Rest In Peace to all of the folks who suddenly lost their lives yesterday.

Ok, for those who are living under a rock, tragic news just came out on Sunday. Now, according to reports, Bryant, along with eight other people, died in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. As of right now, no one knows what caused the helicopter to fall out of the sky. However, we do know that none of the passengers onboard survived. Sadly, in addition to Bryant, his daughter Gianna, Christina Mauser, John Altobelli, Alyssa Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Sarah Chester, Payton Chester and pilot Ara Zobayan all perished in the crash. Needless to say, this entire situation is SUPER fucked up, son.

Look, if I’m being honest, I might be more sad about the young ones than anything else, man. I mean, death is always terrible, but it’s especially egregious when kids are involved, fam. Like, they will never have a chance to reach their full potential, bruh. Also, as a parent, I simply can’t imagine being in a situation knowing that I couldn’t save my kids. Frankly, that’s my worse fear as a father, brethren. Shit, I can’t take the idea of not being able to keep my children out of harm’s way. So, I’m fucked up just contemplating what everyone onboard might’ve been thinking in those final moments.

In the end, I’m not here to debate Bryant as a basketball player. Ultimately, we already know that he’s one of the greatest to ever lace up a pair of sneakers. By and by, I’m more upset about the fragility of life, son. With that being said, there are two lessons that I’ve taken from Kobe Bryant’s demise: one, life can truly end at a moment’s notice. Ok, yes, we all know that, but let’s be real, man. No one really expects to die prematurely. All in all, we need to live life to the fullest. Two, Bryant had an unparalleled work ethic. So, if anyone really wants to achieve something great, they better be prepared to put EVERYTHING into their craft, fam. In any case, RIP to all of people who needlessly lost their lives yesterday. That is all. LC out.

This Delonte West Sh*t Is Sad

So, I won’t lie, son. On the real, I don’t even know how to begin this post, man. The truth is, this Delonte West situation is sad as fuck, fam. I mean, just look at the dude, bruh! Look, that man is the same man who played nine seasons in the NBA. However, based on his current appearance, West is having a REALLY tough fucking time, people. All I can say is, I truly hope he gets some help as soon as humanly possible, brethren.

Ok, for those who missed it, Delonte West is back in the news for all of the wrong reasons. Now, a video has been circulating around the internet of an alleged altercation between West and some angry guy in Washington, D.C. Well, in reality, it’s less of an altercation and more of a clip of him getting his ass beat. Shit, the video that I saw shows him on the ground, in the middle of a highway, getting stomped on by this unidentified man. From there, another clips shows him on the side of the road, ranting about a guy pulling a gun on him, with his face covered in blood. That’s where the above picture comes from.

All I know is, this entire situation is fucked up, son. Real talk, this latest debacle just adds to the long list of shit that West has been involved in since his NBA days. Hell, going back to 2009, I remember when he got pulled over on his motorcycle, carrying enough guns to rival Rambo. I remember when he was begging for change in Maryland. I remember when he was walking around and looking nuts in Texas. Keeping it a buck, it just seems like it’s one thing after another, man.

Now, it’s no secret that West has mental issues, fam. Like, a simple Google search would show that he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a long time ago. However, it’s clear that he’s not getting ANY type of assistance, bruh. In addition, I have no proof that he’s on drugs, but c’mon son, I don’t see how that isn’t the case as well, son. All in all, I just wish that someone would come to his rescue, man.

In the end, I don’t know what else to say, fam. Ultimately, it’s insane to see what’s happening to this man. By and by, it doesn’t seem that long ago that he was getting buckets in the league. Now, he’s more known for the shenanigans than for hooping, bruh. At the end of the day, I hope that his friends and family will find some way to get through to him. Sadly, at this rate, there’s only one way for this story to end. Needless to say, nobody wants that, son. That is all. LC out.

A Bald Man’s Letter To LeBron James

Dear LeBron James,

On the real, I’m not here to speak with you about your game. I mean, it’s generally understood that you’re one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Shit, depending on who you ask, you’ve already passed Michael Jordan as the GOAT. In any case, I’m not here to talk about your Los Angeles Lakers or the rest of the NBA. Frankly, I’m here, as a brother, to advise you about your hair. All I can say is, it’s time to fucking let it go, son.

Now, let’s keep it a buck, man. Seriously, we all saw what happened against the Utah Jazz, fam. Hell, Anthony Davis tried to warn you about what was going on, bruh. Needless to say, your lace front fell out, son. In the middle of a game, brethren. On national television. Like, do I even need to explain how embarrassing that is, kinfolk?

Look, for years (and years and fucking years), you’ve tried to avoid baldness like the plague. At the beginning of every season, it looks like you’ve found the cure for male pattern baldness. Then, like 20 games into the season, your real hairline resurfaces. From there, you look like Bobo the Clown for trying to convince us that this was your actual hair. All I know is, enough is fucking enough, son.

Listen, before you think that I’m judging you, allow me to be transparent about myself. Now, despite being bald, I can still technically grow hair on my head. In actuality, I began shaving it off because my front hairline started to go from a straight line to a McDonald’s arch. Anyway, the way my pride is setup, I couldn’t continue to front (and argue with my Jamaican barber) like my shit was still pristine, man. So, I told him to buzz it all off. That was February of 2009. The truth is, I’ve been blissfully happy ever since, fam.

All in all, you don’t have to go through this, bruh. The last time I checked, Jordan was/is your favorite player, son. Real talk, he made baldness cool, man. The way I see it, you don’t have to dealt with this anguish, fam. Just let the hair follicles go and let your scalp be free, brethren. From my viewpoint, your scalp wants to be free anyway.

In the end, come join the team, son. Ultimately, it’s enjoyable on this side, man. By and by, I haven’t worn a durag in a decade, fam. Furthermore, I can go to sleep/wake up without brushing my hair, bruh. At the end of the day, I’m offering you liberation, LeBron. Please, embrace what nature is already trying to show you. It’s the only way, brethren.

Sincerely,

A fan who doesn’t want to see you suffer anymore