Tristan Thompson Is Out Here Wilin’

So, LeBron James needs to come get Tristan Thompson, son. I mean, homie is out here WILIN’, man! Like, did he not know he was 6’9″, fam? Shit, we can all see him, bruh! All I know is, Thompson seemingly has NO couth, folks. Hell, he’s out here cheating on Khloé Kardashian in the braziest ways possible, people. All in all, Thompson has two options: either stop cheating or learn to be waaaaay more incognegro about it. Side note, I’m aware of the fact that the former is the better option, brethren. I don’t need my wife plotting to murder me.

Ok, before I continue, allow me to briefly be insensitive. Now, I know that Khloé is pregnant right now. I know that this type of stress is bad for a growing baby. With that being said, I wish her and her child nothing but health. However; I don’t feel sorry for Khloé at all, son. Lest we forget, Thompson previously dated a woman named Jordan Craig. In addition, her ass was also SUPER pregnant when Thompson started bumping uglies with Khloé. So, am I supposed to sympathize with a woman who’s getting the same treatment she initially encouraged? Hell fucking nah, man! The way I see it, that’s a whole HEAP of karma for that ass, fam.

Anyway, let me get back to Thompson, bruh. All I can say is, that dude can’t even spell the word “discretion.” First, a video came out that showed him clubbing with a couple of women back in October. Now, at that time, Khloé was about three months pregnant. In any case, what was Thompson doing? Tonguing down chicks, motorboating them and letting them feel his crotch. Look, I’ve done some reckless shit in my life, but I’m not famous, son. This dumbass was doing all of this shit on camera, man! Fam, chill the fuck out! The tape is rolling!

Moving on, the Thompson Fuckery Train kept going as a new video surfaced with even more shenanigans. This time, here in New York, he was seen entering a hotel with Lani Blair, a bartender at Angel’s Strip Club. To make matters worse, she definitely had an overnight bag with her. Meaning, she was prepared to have her back blown out for an extended period of time. On the real, I feel like Thompson wanted to get caught, bruh. That’s the only way I could understand how he could be so openly careless. Keeping it a buck, I hope he’s ready for the slander he’s about to receive on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At the end of the day, it didn’t work out so well for Lamar Odom, son.

In the end, I had a good ass time laughing at all of the tomfoolery, man. On top of that, the memes have been GOLD, fam! Ultimately, we’ll see how this story plays out, bruh. By and by, the last time he cheated like a madman, the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals. Soooo, maybe LeBron should just let Thompson keep on cooking. Then again, what do I know, son? LC out.

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I Can’t Stand Draymond Green

Ok, getting straight to the point, I don’t fuck with Draymond Green. In all seriousness, he’s the only reason why I don’t bang with the Golden State Warriors. Well, in actuality, I don’t bang with them because I’m a New York Knicks fan, but we all know what I mean. I actively root for Golden State’s failure because people like Green don’t deserve to prosper. Look, it’s not even the fact that he’s a dickhead. All jokes aside, I’m just offended that he’s such a dickhead when he’s nothing more than a glorified role player.

Look, if anyone talked to a Golden State fan, they’d hear shit like “Draymond is our emotional leader.” That’s just a fancy way of saying “he’s not our best player, but we like his attitude.” I mean, let’s keep it all of the way real, son. Before this season, Stephen Curry was the best player on that team. After him, Klay Thompson was next up. For all intents and purposes, Green was riding their coat tails to success. Yeah, he’s a really good defensive player, but put him on another team and see if he could prosper in the same manner. He’s literally the beneficiary of a perfect situation. Now, after his team added Kevin Durant to the mix, Green is nothing more than fourth fiddle on his own fucking team.

So, I bring all of this up because of his interaction with Paul Pierce during last night’s game against the Los Angeles Clippers. Green made fun of Pierce for trying to have a “farewell tour” like Kobe Bryant, despite the fact that his influence wasn’t on Kobe’s level. Now, on face value, that’s true. Paul Pierce was never as great or as beloved/loathed as Kobe. However; I have a major problem with Green saying that. While Pierce doesn’t compare to Kobe, Green damn sure doesn’t compare to Pierce. At the bare minimum, Pierce was the star player on a championship team. Green just hitched his wagon onto truly transcendent players and won a ring. He hasn’t earned the right to talk shit about a competitor of Pierce’s caliber. Especially not after winning a title because of circumstance.

Moving on, before Golden State fans crucify me, I want to pose a question. Why do they even support Draymond Green? I mean, he literally cost them a title last season. If he didn’t have an obsession with kicking people in the nuts, the Warriors would’ve won back-to-back titles. I doubt LeBron James, Kyrie Irving and the Cleveland Cavaliers would’ve come back from that 3-1 deficit in the NBA Finals if Green didn’t hurt his team’s chances. Shit, they should be more mad at him than I am. He truly doesn’t deserve their support, man. His “emotional leadership” ended up being a MAJOR liability, son. Nothing more, nothing less.

In the end, I’ve said my piece, man. It probably won’t change anything, but in my eyes, Green’s attitude is undeserved. He’s out here talking shit to legends when he’ll never be one. That’s just some sucker shit, son. LC out.

P.S. Pierce won in the end anyway, man. A 3-1 joke will always trump any other shit-talking. Green should always remember that before he opens his mouth. That is all.